I’m Always Being Told I Think Like A Man.

I honestly don’t know what that means, but for the sake of playing the devils advocate, lets say I do think like a man.. I guess its a good trait to have. I think a lot of women can learn a lot from men and how they communicate… I try not to put a sex stamp on things, like this is male or female, but you have to sometimes and not all women think like me.. I was taught to think for myself…. When someone comes to me with anything,..or even things in my personal life… I’m always preparing for a solution to fix it. I love problem solving, I believe all problems have a solution, you just have to use your brain.. Some men operate in fixing problems. You come to a man, he’s not going to get emotional and make it personal, like your girlfriends do, this is why some men do not like staying in the friend zone department. That’s another topic, lol anyway…

Complaining gets you nowhere and lets face it. Women do that more than men, I have met men who need to vent but they need to find a safe person to do it with. Men don’t always want to vent to their friends. Men venting to other men, is shooting pool, playing a video game, drinking or smoking something with very few words in between, lol…(c’mon you know its funny, lol ) I find that most women, when a man comes to them, they make him feel bad and emasculate him, for having real feelings and showing emotions. This is why some men don’t express themselves and it comes out in certain ways, with their behavior like cheating or shutting down. Men are not emotionless creatures. Men are sensitive and have emotional needs…but it takes an intuned woman to recognize that and not see it as a sign of him being weak. Women try to get men to see things their way and they will, just not how you want them to.

The majority of men that cheat, its not always about the physical connection, its about the emotional connection. How the other woman made them feel. Men are taught from when they are little “don’t show emotion, don’t cry, you’ll look like a girl, don’t feel, be a man, man up”. When a man cries, what is the first thing that both sexes say? Stop acting like a woman or a little b***h.. Men shut their emotions down from a very early age, only way its acceptable is when they’re a baby, lol…It takes a real man to show his true emotions. This being out of touch with ones emotions needs to be unlearned. If not it shows up in other areas of ones life. It’s the same when a man can’t provide.

Women make men feel like crap, all those marriage vows go out the window. Some women, will not hold their partner down until things get better. They feel the pressure…I say to myself hmmm, this is the same pressure the man feel to take care of you. Doesn’t feel so good does it???? It’s just handled different. A woman will be ready in a hot minute, to leave a good man over money. (Some women have no idea the pressure they put on men and some don’t care.) Women feel he is less of a man because he can not provide. That man in return will feel a certain type of way, meet someone who doesn’t judge him. Then next thing you know, there is an emotional affair going on. When men feel connected, they want to express that physically.. we all do. but men thats how they express themselves.

How many times do you hear men complaining about how their significant other will not have sex with them?? Or after they got married the sex stopped. Women know this is true. (Men are always ready to have sex, they have an insatiable hunger for it…. they’ll have it everyday if you let them, lol…not women) If a man stops having sex or is not in the mood, its usually because he’s depressed about something, money, bills etc… but women will think its another woman, men are providers by nature and when they can’t provide they feel inadequate. This is why some men will not be with a woman who makes more money than he does…, he thinks its a blow to his male ego and men are all about their ego. You bruise a mans ego, that hurts him to is core , especially the men that love hard and will do anything for their woman or family.

I think if most women look at it from a logical POV instead of a emotional POV, then they would understand men, its not about babying a man or being docile, its about understanding how they think and what they need and how you communicate with them. How many times, do we get emotional and people don’t hear what we said, they hear how we say it??? People have to stop making it about them and the battle of the sexes and get down to the root of the problem.

I know that if I really need to vent, if I’m feeling hormonal, lol… I can vent to a female.. but if I want a solution and I need someone to balance my feminine energy and with some logical sense, then I will go to a man for his masculine energy. I guess its not so bad, thinking like a man, whatever that entails..atleast I’m not taking on the traits of them.. You know those women that morph into men. You have to know when to tap into the masculine energy but still be feminine. In order to do this, you have to know yourself and know that your true feminine self is to be feminine balanced with masculine energy. The two need each other. I can’t be around to much estrogen, lol. I need some testosterone in my life, lol.

Ladies Please Let Your Man Breathe

You know… theres nothing wrong with wanting love but when you get it, don’t be clingy. Some people know they are being clingy but then yet they call it love. Your man can’t be with you all the time, especially when he has free time.

This lady on T.V. was complaining her man wanted to hang out with his friends… What marriage manual was she reading that said just because she got married her husband had to stop doing this and that. Especially hanging out with his friends.. A lot of women really think that, when that ring goes on their finger, that automatically they have a puppet.

I’m like damn, find a hobby… he can’t be up under you 24/7. Even in a relationship, you need time to be apart…you need time to miss each other so you can anticipate one another…. Marriage is not about being joined at the hip all the time. A relationship consist of two people, not one. It’s work.

This goes both way… your spouse is not your servant. People need to really think about why they want to get married. Some people literally just want to possess you in every way.. I hear all the time from women all the time, I thought he was going to change and do this and that once we got married. You tolerated it before… A ring is not suppose to change someone into what you want them to be. It sure isn’t a magic genie… So many women have their heads in the clouds, from the stories they were told as a child about marriage or being a princess and these bullshit advice books.

When You Have Peoples Attention

The public eye could be a great platform, if you know what to do with it. So many people want to be famous just because.

When you have the publics attention, what are you going to do with it? When people are watching you and listening to everything you say and taking your word, as if it’s the gospel.

That can be a lot to handle. Even social media is powerful. I recall I responded, to a post recently.. my response was for women to learn to love themselves and be self sufficient and to not think that….anything is wrong with them if they are single. And just pretty much not depending on a man, the minute they leave home. It got over 1000 likes within 1 hour. When I logged on and saw all those “likes”… I couldn’t believe it. It was longer than that, but thats the short version…

I was like wow are you serious??? Because society makes it seem like if you are single, 30 and above, no kids, no man, never married that something is wrong with you… so women take that mind set, they look for any man to propose to them, get the ring, marriage a baby and a house etc. or whatever order they choose. I know people that on the first date this was a discussion. Putting all of their eggs in one basket over some dude they don’t even know. Children can be a blessing but they cost and they need constant attention….

Their whole identity is tied to this…. so many women were responding to the post and emailing me, telling me thats what they did because everybody else was doing it. The pressure from family, friends and society as a whole. This is wrong on so many levels. A lot of these women were still babies themselves…they haven’t even experienced life yet or had their first job. The only reason why I feel so strongly about this is because I’ve been on my own since I was 14. I’ve always worked. Nobody took care of me. I mean NOBODY!!!!!!! I had to work and go to school.

Women that have kids or they are married make single women, feel like aliens living amongst humans….The stares women give me and how they talk down to me because… I haven’t had a child or two.. I’m tired of society making it seem like a 35 year old woman is 100 years old. Who started this rumor??!!! They need to get their ass kicked!!! One lady said she got pregnant because her parents kept asking for a grandchild. So she got pregnant by some guy she barely knew…. Wow is the need or urge that strong that some women will get pregnant on purpose??? That’s deep!

So when I hear women talking about what a man should have, money etc…how they are going to have, this baby and get a ring after a few months of dating…. I have no respect for that at all…. I’m sorry…. So many women kept thanking me, because, they made a bad decision… they felt trapped, some of them were left, they got divorced… cheated on and then they had no way to support themselves. They thought once they got all of the above.

Life would be sweet because this is the fantasy that they were sold. They all confessed to love their children but they would have waited until they were emotionally, financially and spiritually prepared before they had kids. And most of all knew who they were sleeping with and married. Some of these women are finding in their late 30’s 40’s and 50s, things that they would have love to do…. years ago but thought motherhood and marriage was all there was to life and nothing else.

People think I’m against marriage, babies and that whole lifestyle.. I’m not.. its just that if you don’t know who you are,..if you don’t love yourself and why you want to be with someone, or where you are going in life… if you’re not prepared for it and you go into blindly, and to appease your family and friends, you are setting yourself up, for one hell of a ride. All I’m saying is… know who you are, love yourself and know what you want out of life before you complement someone else’s.

How Secure Are You?

I came across a video clip of “Ask Wendy” a woman asked Wendy, her advice on what she should do because her boyfriend of 15 years is a singer. She expressed that she wanted other women to know at his shows…. that she is his one and only, and what should he do or say, to let the female fans know, he’s taken… or what should she tell him because women flirt with her guy or throw themselves at him. She started thinking that she should change herself and dress more sexy at his shows. I can tell you what’s really going on right here. This woman is feeling very insecure because she is in her late 40’s, she doesn’t look like the women that her man is engaging with.

Wendy pretty much told her, there was nothing she could do, that her man has to give of himself, because he’s a performer and he has to perform or flirt or sell a fantasy and get his gig on. And for her not to take it personal. The woman felt like her man wasn’t letting the fans know, he’s taken or that she’s his one and only as she kept saying…..She just sounded and looked real stupid and insecure to me, because she really thinks that if she dresses sexy, that’s the cure to prevent him from engaging with his female fans.. The man is a performer…. That’s not going to stop a man from cheating either (if its in him). Wendy just kept telling her that her man is doing his thing and just support him and don’t worry.

This is the shit, right here that insecure women do, when they date an artist, regardless if they sing, act, play sports or anything in entertainment. They think because they “have him”, that he is theirs and theirs only…they become possessive… Now he’s off limits to engaging with women. If this is how your significant other makes his living…. WTF are you tripping for? If that’s something that you loved about him when you first met…why are you being selfish and wanting him to tone it down, just because he’s with you??!! Why can’t you see it as, at the end of the day, he comes home to you and he loves you, if not, then you two would not have been together for 15 years…

All those women fantasizing about him making love to them, Let them have their fantasies. He makes loves to you, you get the real thing. The thought never cross this lady’s mind, that these women could be spoken for and that they are just enjoying the show. If I’m a fan of an artist, I’m not going to stop showing them love and supporting them, just because they have someone or a family. If I wanna compliment them in a respectful way I will. Wife or child doesn’t mean anything, its about the music.

You can’t meet someone, know what what they do and think because they chose to be with you, that they are going to put their career on hold just because you are the new woman in their life. If what he does for a living makes you that insecure, then maybe you shouldn’t have been with him all these years. You can’t expect your man not to find other women attractive either, doesn’t mean he’s going to do anything. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re blind. The same way a woman can see an attractive man, doesn’t mean she’s going to cheat. People see attractive people every day all the time…. So f******g what!!! What is the problem with letting your man shine and being happy for him. God blessed him with the gift to sing and to touch people and you want to take that away from him, because you’re in the picture now??!! Get the F**k out of here… Trust me, you can be replaced, lol.

This lady was expecting Wendy to agree with her and by the way she responded, she kept expecting to hear something different and she had this pitiful look on her face when she sat down. One thing in life that we can not avoid,…. is the fact that we age and our bodies change but its whats inside that counts. Now this can apply to women too if it was reverse but you just don’t hear men talking about shit like this on T.V. When you choose to date, you have to make sure that the person wants you,…. for you and not what you do. Or doesn’t try to change you and want you to start a new profession just because you’re in a relationship. Some women literally take that whole saying of “put me first, put the woman first, worship me and cater to me only” to heart. You can’t do that to a man. Because trust me he will find someone who’s supportive of him and his passions, whether its a hobby or a career.

Besides this lady on T.V. I know creative people and their mate does not support what they do at all. They think because they got the ring or they live together, that all the creative things their mate was or is doing, has to stop for them. Whenever my friends are working on something, I’m pretty much the first person they reach out to, especially when it comes to music and writing. I didn’t know at first that these women did not support them. I simply asked what does your significant other think about it and the response I got was birds chirping…I’ve heard “she doesn’t care, this is not her thing, It’s ok, this is why I’m asking you”… No its not ok, don’t give me that B.S…. How do you marry someone who doesn’t support your dreams or anything that makes you happy?? Why is it a threat? Someone I know got married 3 times. I tried to tell him what the problem was but he refused to see it. He wants so bad to have a life partner but his wife doesn’t support him in anything he does when it comes to music.

Whether people realize it or not, generally speaking, you need people in your life that support you, that are just as passionate as you are about, you’re passions, dreams and goals. It should not be intimidating or a threat to them because you want a bigger and better life. Or simply because you want to be creative. I said to my friend…How are you suppose to evolve as a man and the vision you have, if your wife, the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with does not see it or support you…All I heard was birds chirping.

Just because you are dating someone or you get married, doesn’t mean you own them and now they have to change. Why are some women so threatened by their significant other being a singer or doing anything creative.?? Are you afraid he might vibe with other creative souls…. this is why some people date people in their same field because they get it. Others choose not to, to keep it separate. but those are usually the relationships that sometimes fail…one partner winds up feeling neglected. Theres a big difference between what someone does and who they are. Which one do you want ?? Will you love the whole person or part of them?? It takes a pretty secure person to be with someone in a creative field.. You have to know who you are and know what you bring to the table and set aside your ego mind. At the end of the day the creative soul wants love too!

What God Has For You

Will be… Let the holy spirit lead you… no this is not about religion. I don’t subscribe to that. So many times, we think that we have to do certain things in our life, by a certain age and time and life doesn’t work that way. In any area of our life. It’s ok to “bloom late” sorta speak…. In life. Things happen right on time, when they are suppose to. You really just have to surrender and have FAITH! Miracles happen all the time. We have an awesome god, that loves us and will give us what we NEED, what we want and who we need to be with in the right time. Enjoy the journey… So many of us focus on the end result… And we miss everything in between.

As humans we can be control freaks…Its ok to set goals but its also ok, not to beat yourself up, if it doesn’t happen on a specific date and time. It doesn’t mean you are a failure or didn’t try hard enough. Be realistic with your goals. Give yourself a certain time frame.. but don’t be so meticulous about it and get ahead of yourself. I know it can be frustrating, we want what we want. Thats the flesh… The spirit know different… The more you try to control the outcome, It will blow up in your face.. Set aside your ego mind.

Relax! Get centered….Breathe….Life is happening exactly as its suppose to, even if we can’t see it. Nothing bad last forever. Make sure you have the right type of energy around you and people who love and support you, even if its just one person. Time knowing someone means nothing. You can meet someone today that can help you change your life and you change theirs as well…. Miracles and angels disguised as humans happens all the time. Just be open, have love, show love, be love and most of all have faith!

Really??!! Get your ass in the kitchen, lol.

Is cooking really that difficult??!!! Some people seem to struggle with the most simple dishes…

I saw a woman on youtube struggling to make a salad and she asked if she could microwave it, LMAO.. ..who microwaves a salad. Salads are suppose to be cold. I know quite a few females that don’t cook at all and some men.. Everything is in the microwave. I don’t see how someone cooks rice in the microwave ?!! Or pizza, lol?? Pizza stores don’t deliver microwaved pizzas so why are humans doing it… How you put dough in the microwave???!! I feel like microwave instructions should be banned from labels because some people literally take it to a whole new level.

They want to use it for everything. Microwaves kill food. I can see if you have to use one, for a minute or so like at work but still.They sell those toaster ovens that can heat up your food. That’s just lazy. A guy asked me how do you cook franks, lol. I saw a commercial talking about, you can bake a cake in the microwave. OMG, Really, I thought it was very comical. I bought a toaster oven at this job I was at and my boss reimbursed me…lol… (People putting their smelly food in the microwave.. I usually bring food that requires no heating but thats just me)  Microwaves are making people lazy…  When I see a persons cookware and its all scratched up I’m like ok, you don’t cook do you, lol. A $15 pot set is not going to produce quality food. Cooking is fun and creative, you get to put a lot of love in it.

You can even get romantic while cooking. It can be sexy and fun with some music..(insert sexy grin) You can bond over food. You can’t bond over a microwaved meal or take out…or even a meal at a restaurant… It’s to noisy… I would really like to know why people are not cooking nowadays.. Some may not agree but when I see a woman in the store, buying everything thats microwaved, I have no respect for that. Those poor kids or child, who have to eat that. As a woman with or without kids, you should be able to feed yourself and your child..

When my niece and nephew were young and they came over, I always cooked for them, even when they wanted fast food. I just gave them that look like, “I don’t think so, lol…. give me that look all you want, it’s not happening, lol”  I don’t cave into a child, I’m the adult and a lot of women do…. But once the food was done they enjoyed it. I love how they remembered the food I cooked for them even as teens.. Its all in how you raise your child. I never bought them take out or fast food. I was told by a family member that if I ever had kids, they would suffer, because I wouldn’t let them eat crap or have fun, Really!!! I let them have doritos, thats it, lol.. but not junk disguised as food. I gave them granola bars as a snack at times and maybe some ice cream but thats it, lol.

I’m not spending $10-$15 on fast food when I can buy food with that, and make the same thing even better. Who knows how long that food has been sitting out or where it came from or what’s in it. If one is to busy, prepare your meals in advance. When I see the amount of money people spend on food at a restaurant or fast food joints,. It’s a total waste of money… I’m like really get your ass in the kitchen and stop being lazy.

It takes forever for me to order when I’m out, I need days in advance to prepare, if I know someone is taking me out to eat, lol… I take so long because I don’t eat out… I like my food cooked a certain type of way. A restaurant is not going to use white wine to cook my rice or red wine with my BBQ sauce or agave nectar…. Yummmm, I feel like cooking now :), lol…They are not going to put that much love, attention or detail into my food.. I’m not saying there are no good restaurants, but I don’t know where they are, lol.. Don’t ask for a recommendation…. you’ll hear birds chirping, I’ll look at you like you’re speaking another language, lol…I couldn’t recommend anything, but I can tell you where to buy the food and ingredients at 🙂 Or I just might cook it for you.

It’s the same with juice, I don’t buy juice I make it. If I don’t buy it, I drink water…. I’m not spending my money on pasteurized killed juice… We really need to get back to fresh food and juice and real stoves with gas, not those electric wire ones, those things should be extinct. Why do apartments even have those??? What year is this???  Back in the day our ancestors didn’t use microwaves. We need to get back to the original… I feel the same way about music, wheres the real R&B at ?? All these crappy ass artist…  oh sorry, lol.. I went on a rant….lol…thats another topic, lol…back to what I was saying…..If you love and care for someone, cook for them 🙂

Ladies…. Be Proud Of Your age.

I notice a lot of women don’t like it, especially when a man ask them their age. They’ll tell anybody else but when a man ask. FORGET IT! They are ready to kill him, they get all sassy real quick and say “ You know you are never suppose to ask a woman her age right” ??

Before a guy ask me my age, I can hear the reluctance in his voice. They always start off with “If you don’t mind me asking, but how old are you? It’s clear every woman before me, gave them hell for this question, so they think, every woman is like this. I’m very proud to say my age. I don’t have a problem with being 35. Nor will I have a problem when I get older. I”M GRATEFUL WHEN I WAKE UP EACH DAY! I would really like to know who the person was that started this. (I’m pretty sure it was a woman).

Also society spreads this B.S too. Women think that when they are approaching their late 20’s, 30’s or even 40s that they are OLD and this BULLSHIT NEEDS TO STOP!! I know someone who rushed to have a baby and get married and the girl was only 28 at the time. She was starting to think she was old, who was going to marry her and have a baby, her whole identity was tied to what a man wants and her age. (This is her mothers fault and she realized it). Why do some women let age run the course of their life? Or what they think a man wants from them. I keep hearing about this biological clock.

God controls the clock. If he wants to bless you with a baby, thats his decision. Relax and let nature take it’s course. Women with kids are always telling me to hurry up before I get old, before my eggs dry up and I can’t have them. I’m not trying to have them, lol. But who knows…. who knows what god has planned for me. I may meet someone and fall in love and we may bring a life into this crazy world, but that’s not up to me. God is in control. I’m not letting my age push me into fear to have a baby or get married. There are other things in life to look forward to then having a baby and getting married. That’s not a goal of mine, like some women. People also assume that when they see you with a child, its yours, ask me first. Don’t assume all women have kids.

When I hear some of the reasons why women want to have a baby and get married, not once do I ever hear about love. Its always about their age, and how men don’t want an old woman, what the doctor said and oh I don’t wanna have my kids old, and I wanna be young when I have my kids, so I can run around. Well s**t… if you take care of your body and keep it in optimum shape you will be able to run around, lol. Be good to your body and it will be good to you.

I honestly feel like women should stop fretting over their age. If a man ask you, say it and be proud. Stop looking at him like he got 6 heads and getting turned off by the question. How come you want to know how old a man is, but he can’t ask you??? Suppose a man said, don’t ask me my age? You would probably hire a P.I or do a background check on him and wonder what the hell he’s hiding, lol… You know I’m right, just admit it and laugh lol.

What I do take offense to, is when people say, for a 35 year old, you look good. First of all WTF is that suppose to mean? I heard the same thing when I was 27…Really!!.. What does a 35 year old look like? Or even someone who is 40? Can someone please show me a book and let me know what a 35 year old woman is suppose to look like. Or even in a certain age range. I never hear men, say this, its ALWAYS, ALWAYS women. Some women in their 40s and up can give these young women a run for their money.

Men may not want to age, for whatever reason, but they are more forthcoming with telling a woman how old they are. For the men that are proud of how old they are, I salute you. I love me a older man, all that manliness, maturity, wisdom and sexiness. (Good laaawwwd, Oh back to what I was saying, I had a moment. lol I just love men( Anyway, some men just get sexier with age. Like fine wine! And some young men prefer older women. It’s all about preference and maturity.

Life is a gift from god. Keep fretting over your age. You just may not wake up the next day. We do not know our exit time. There are souls who come into this world and they live for a few minutes, a day, weeks, or even a year or so. Some people go in their sleep. There are so many things in life that need your attention. Not how old you are and how much you weigh. Stop being so superficial. God made us to age, we’re not immortals. This is not some hollywood movie with vampires, lol… GET OVER IT! YOU’RE AGING. BE GRATEFUL YOU WERE BORN. ENJOY LIFE!