How Secure Are You?

I came across a video clip of “Ask Wendy” a woman asked Wendy, her advice on what she should do because her boyfriend of 15 years is a singer. She expressed that she wanted other women to know at his shows…. that she is his one and only, and what should he do or say, to let the female fans know, he’s taken… or what should she tell him because women flirt with her guy or throw themselves at him. She started thinking that she should change herself and dress more sexy at his shows. I can tell you what’s really going on right here. This woman is feeling very insecure because she is in her late 40’s, she doesn’t look like the women that her man is engaging with.

Wendy pretty much told her, there was nothing she could do, that her man has to give of himself, because he’s a performer and he has to perform or flirt or sell a fantasy and get his gig on. And for her not to take it personal. The woman felt like her man wasn’t letting the fans know, he’s taken or that she’s his one and only as she kept saying…..She just sounded and looked real stupid and insecure to me, because she really thinks that if she dresses sexy, that’s the cure to prevent him from engaging with his female fans.. The man is a performer…. That’s not going to stop a man from cheating either (if its in him). Wendy just kept telling her that her man is doing his thing and just support him and don’t worry.

This is the shit, right here that insecure women do, when they date an artist, regardless if they sing, act, play sports or anything in entertainment. They think because they “have him”, that he is theirs and theirs only…they become possessive… Now he’s off limits to engaging with women. If this is how your significant other makes his living…. WTF are you tripping for? If that’s something that you loved about him when you first met…why are you being selfish and wanting him to tone it down, just because he’s with you??!! Why can’t you see it as, at the end of the day, he comes home to you and he loves you, if not, then you two would not have been together for 15 years…

All those women fantasizing about him making love to them, Let them have their fantasies. He makes loves to you, you get the real thing. The thought never cross this lady’s mind, that these women could be spoken for and that they are just enjoying the show. If I’m a fan of an artist, I’m not going to stop showing them love and supporting them, just because they have someone or a family. If I wanna compliment them in a respectful way I will. Wife or child doesn’t mean anything, its about the music.

You can’t meet someone, know what what they do and think because they chose to be with you, that they are going to put their career on hold just because you are the new woman in their life. If what he does for a living makes you that insecure, then maybe you shouldn’t have been with him all these years. You can’t expect your man not to find other women attractive either, doesn’t mean he’s going to do anything. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re blind. The same way a woman can see an attractive man, doesn’t mean she’s going to cheat. People see attractive people every day all the time…. So f******g what!!! What is the problem with letting your man shine and being happy for him. God blessed him with the gift to sing and to touch people and you want to take that away from him, because you’re in the picture now??!! Get the F**k out of here… Trust me, you can be replaced, lol.

This lady was expecting Wendy to agree with her and by the way she responded, she kept expecting to hear something different and she had this pitiful look on her face when she sat down. One thing in life that we can not avoid,…. is the fact that we age and our bodies change but its whats inside that counts. Now this can apply to women too if it was reverse but you just don’t hear men talking about shit like this on T.V. When you choose to date, you have to make sure that the person wants you,…. for you and not what you do. Or doesn’t try to change you and want you to start a new profession just because you’re in a relationship. Some women literally take that whole saying of “put me first, put the woman first, worship me and cater to me only” to heart. You can’t do that to a man. Because trust me he will find someone who’s supportive of him and his passions, whether its a hobby or a career.

Besides this lady on T.V. I know creative people and their mate does not support what they do at all. They think because they got the ring or they live together, that all the creative things their mate was or is doing, has to stop for them. Whenever my friends are working on something, I’m pretty much the first person they reach out to, especially when it comes to music and writing. I didn’t know at first that these women did not support them. I simply asked what does your significant other think about it and the response I got was birds chirping…I’ve heard “she doesn’t care, this is not her thing, It’s ok, this is why I’m asking you”… No its not ok, don’t give me that B.S…. How do you marry someone who doesn’t support your dreams or anything that makes you happy?? Why is it a threat? Someone I know got married 3 times. I tried to tell him what the problem was but he refused to see it. He wants so bad to have a life partner but his wife doesn’t support him in anything he does when it comes to music.

Whether people realize it or not, generally speaking, you need people in your life that support you, that are just as passionate as you are about, you’re passions, dreams and goals. It should not be intimidating or a threat to them because you want a bigger and better life. Or simply because you want to be creative. I said to my friend…How are you suppose to evolve as a man and the vision you have, if your wife, the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with does not see it or support you…All I heard was birds chirping.

Just because you are dating someone or you get married, doesn’t mean you own them and now they have to change. Why are some women so threatened by their significant other being a singer or doing anything creative.?? Are you afraid he might vibe with other creative souls…. this is why some people date people in their same field because they get it. Others choose not to, to keep it separate. but those are usually the relationships that sometimes fail…one partner winds up feeling neglected. Theres a big difference between what someone does and who they are. Which one do you want ?? Will you love the whole person or part of them?? It takes a pretty secure person to be with someone in a creative field.. You have to know who you are and know what you bring to the table and set aside your ego mind. At the end of the day the creative soul wants love too!

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