Why I Never Looked For Love And Why You Shouldn’t Either

I’m pretty sure as you read this title, you will think something is wrong with me? I assure you, I’m perfectly sane.

Like what do you mean, don’t look for love?? How else am I suppose to find it??

Simple, don’t look for it! Love will find you, when the time is right!

A lot of things in life are really just that simple. We make it difficult.

You know how you have people, that are so worried about the destination, they forget to enjoy the journey. People think that when they set goals, whether they are short or long that, there has to be some end result all the time and when that doesn’t happen. They are disappointed.

There is nothing wrong with having a clear vision and goal in mind, but sometimes you just might, end up with something better, than you ever imagined.

The same can be said with WANTING and NEEDING Love. Don’t look for it. If its meant to be then you will have it. When you date, date to have a good time. Don’t worry about that person being yours forever. You just met them.

When it comes to love or dating. I have this non-approach that has worked out in my favor. Depending on how you look at it.

I don’t date. That’s my approach, LOL

I like to get to know someone first, before I let them take me out. I have to see if I even want to spend the evening with this person. I have to think about whether or not, I want to get dressed up to go out. I personally don’t see the point in dressing up for a meal. Maybe because I’m a simple person and I cook.

When you get to know someone first by talking to them, before the date, you get to get a sense of who they are, before they actually look at you. This is probably going to sound conceited, but every time I meet a guy, they always wind up liking me and wanting more.

I like to focus on connection, chemistry and friendship. I don’t want to go out with someone, that I don’t want to be in their company. The last few guys who attempted to take me out on a date. Forgot they were married. So of course we never went out. I never knew married people dated LOL…. maybe thats some new trend, no one told me about LOL

I have so many horror stories but its all good though. It makes for a good laugh and read, LOL.

I need time to asses mens behavior. To see how consistent they are or aren’t. For men to keep their word. Like when you say you will call me back. If you can’t, at least acknowledge it. I like men to be on time and mindful.

I’m a very simple woman but this backfires at times. But in a good way, it helps me weed out the players.

I’m just not into loud places when it comes to eating out. So this is why “dating” can be difficult. Men think just because I don’t like to eat out that, they will get a free meal and sex. Just because I don’t like to eat out, doesn’t mean, I don’t want to go out sometimes. I’m not into that new thing of “netflix and chill” I don’t even like netflix.

I met up with one guy at the park. No fancy dinner, just sitting and talking by the lake. I feel like if we connect. Then we can go somewhere and get something light to eat. My idea of a “date” doesn’t have to be dinner and a movie. If I get dressed up, I want to go somewhere LOL. I’m not going all out for a meal.

People are always trying to get me to date and I just don’t do it. Now a days theres to much pressure to date.

Not everyone is focused on marriage and family. Some people just want companionship.

I’m a woman who is not afraid to be alone. Some women are. If I chose to share the last time I was with a man or in a relationship, you would be shocked and think something is wrong with me. But it’s not! I don’t need therapy either.

I’m not settling. I don’t ignore red flags. I have never been that emotionally invested in a man to think he’s the one. I recognize game.

I don’t relationship hop. I could date a whole bunch of men, if I wanted to, but I don’t. What for?? I don’t have that type of time, nor do I want to make that type of time. I have a life to live. Going out with random dudes never appealed to me. I know what I want and when what I want, shows up, I will know.

People date, to find what they want. I saved so much money on not getting dressed up for dates, or bad horror stories. My horror stories come from talking/texting, which I cut out.

I like my weekends quiet. I’m to much of a homebody. I’m not that chick looking to hit up the club as soon as friday comes or some bar to meet sleazy men. Most men now a days, just want to hook up and I’m not about casual sex.

My first love, we were friends first, he courted me. When we saw each other, it wasn’t really a date, we just hung out and then if we were hungry, we wind up getting something to eat. It was spontaneous. Sometimes we never ate, we had a smoothie and he bought me dinner to take home. We simply enjoyed each others company, talking, walking, hanging out by the seaport.

It’s not the same, but it correlates. I have friends who try to take me out to eat and I always get frustrated, because I want to go home and eat and they love eating out. I stop going out with certain females, because they kept me out for long periods of time and they wanted to go shoe shopping and spend money on food, and I wanted go home.

Why would I spend money on food, when I have a fridge full of food??

Women for some strange reason like for men to take them to fancy restaurants, even if it’s a guy they don’t know or like. Women like free meals. I would like to know whats the big deal?? Am I missing something here?? If a guy does take me to a fancy restaurant one day, I want it to be with someone I actually like. It needs to be more intimate and quiet.

I feel that there is someone for everybody and love will find people, when they least expect it. I never looked for loved and love found me, with my first love. There were no expectations or rushing or any kind. That was the best love, I ever had that God blessed me with and thats what I want again.

People say if you don’t date, how will you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? I’m not looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with. I’m not putting that much of a guarantee on someone. If we’re together, we’re together and lets just enjoy each other and take it slow day by day.

I’m not into the “death do us part”. If I love you, I will do my best to make sure you feel that love every time, we’re together and when we’re apart. I need someone who loves just a deeply as I do. In this world full of people. It’s hard finding a man to keep his word and be consistent. To have some mature adult conversation, and that doesn’t even cost anything.

I’m not against dating, I just don’t do it. If I share my space and energy with you, I need to feel something. Yes, it would be nice to have someone that I’m fond of, to hold me on cold winter nights. But thats what a good down comforter and microfiber fleece sheets are for LOL.. Now that was funny, I couldn’t resist. LOL

If you don’t have “Berkshire” sheets, you are missing out!!!!  They have them on flex pay at QVC. Oh back to what I was saying.

My personal space is very personal to me, and I need a man to understand this. Walls hold energy and I’m not going to just let any ol’ man and his energy into my home, my bed or in me.

A simple woman, with simple needs but yet love seems so elusive…but one day it will find me again. And all this so-called waiting will be worth it!

Always remember, God is saving you for someone special. So relax and let love find you. Your only job is to remain open and recognize when love does actually come knocking and hopefully you will be ready to open the door to receive it.

Do Titles Ruin Relationships?

Hmmmm…this is a tough one because everyone is different. Some people feel they need titles to know whats going on and what to expect. Some just like to go with the flow. I can’t speak for everyone else but here is my take on it.

I honestly feel like “Titles” makes people feel “Entitled“.

Let that marinate for a few minutes….Ok you done??

Think about it, when you put a title on someone, what happens next?, Under that title, it seems like there is a contract and a whole list of rules of does and don’ts . Instead of people getting to know one another and being who they are and being fully cognizant of why they want to be in a relationship and how they can complement each other lives.

They’re so busy focusing on the title and fulfilling that agreement. Women do this a lot, they always want to know where they stand with a guy after a few dates and even if they decide to sleep with someone. Theres this hormone, apparently that women release called oxytocin that makes them feel closer to a guy after sex.

I must have missed that hormone LOL… or maybe it’s not in my DNA. Or maybe the right guy hasn’t made me release it, in a tantric way. Does this hormone also make women crave babies and marriage??? Because thats what happens. They start to control the guy and make demands just because they shared their body.

If you see potential and you and this guy click, if you want a husband one day and want a guy to respect you and you want to know someone a little better, don’t sleep with him right away.

You can’t get mad at a guy if he wants sex, since you did it so freely the first time. Unless you can handle the emotions that come with being intimate with someone, keep your legs closed. It’s not rocket science.

I personally think some men have this hormone too.

Even when an intimate encounter does not take place. I have met men that have wanted to make me their girl or wife, within a matter of minutes because of some need they wanted to fulfilled. They never even asked me what I wanted or if I was even attracted to them or saw them as a life partner.

I went running in the opposite direction.

A lot of people when they first meet someone, they are always worrying about the end result. Some people are not focused on being friends first. They just want to rush. As soon as they hear something that sounds like a good fit, as far as a life partner, they automatically think that, that person is the one.

I’ve honestly lost count of how many men have tried to put me in that category as “the one” so soon and they don’t even know me. They figure all women want to get married and have babies. Some women do, but even if I thought about that, who said I wanted that person to be you??

I never look at every guy I meet as a potential boyfriend/husband. Thats not how I approach dating with my wants and needs on a first date, If it even gets to that.

When I meet someone, I’m not worried about the end result. Having a baby by someone and marrying someone, should be carefully thought out and planned, I’m not talking about planning a wedding. Having a baby bonds people for life.  It’s serious and should not be taken lightly… And grant it, people do change and grow later on in life.

You have a lot of women that are in love with the idea of marriage and having a baby. They stay believing in that fantasy of happily ever after. This fantasy has been sold to young girls, before they can talk and walk. But this same story is not being sold to little boys, to be a husband and a father.

But if you have a strong foundation built on friendship, then that can sustain whatever comes after. I know so many women and very few men that are struggling in their relationships, because they didn’t take adequate time, to get to know one another and be friends first. To make sure they had things in common first.

They just wanted what they wanted and they let a whole bunch of other factors that, had nothing to do with friendship or love rule their decisions. Also their was no marriage plan. They never discussed life, goals, building something. They just wanted what they thought everyone should want and for somebody to be there and thats it and for their kids to take care of them when they get old.

This is what I hear all the time. One girl I know thought she was old at 28 and rushed. She never even loved the guy and still to this day she doesn’t. I personally don’t understand how you have a baby by someone you don’t love.

For the men, they just wanted a family and thats it. They figured. I’m the man of the house, I’ll work and provide and thats it until they get old. This simple and boring routine gets old real fast.

Sometimes all the spontaneity goes out the door, when people put titles on their relationship. Is a status in life really that important. What does it all mean??

I know for me, I care more about the friendship than anything. F**k being somebody’s boo after a few minutes or days. I can not  stand the indirect pressure men have put on me. When I feel this invisible force, I pull away fast and its for good reason. What is the rush for???

Some of these guys are still married or involved and they are trying to lock down the next woman. they haven’t even let their heart heal.

The men who want to rush and put a title on me, only want to do so , because they feel if they don’t, they won’t get what they want. Or some other guy will come along and get what they want. They act like it’s a once in a lifetime deal, that will go away at midnight.

I can not stand when men put all of their eggs in one basket with me. One guy after 6 days, was talking about me being a stepmother to his children. Which I didn’t even know he had. He figured since he met me 9 years prior, for about 15 minutes, that when he saw me again, he should move quick, because according to him, I got away.

When we met in my 20’s I had no clue he liked me, for 3 years but within that 15 minute conversation he started talking about babies and marriage and he pitched his whole life to me. 9 years later he did it again, except he had the kids already by two different women. But he also mentioned how we were suppose to have 3 kids together and love after 1 day of talking to me. He couldn’t have made it anymore obvious he wanted to sleep with me too.

I just thanked god that I was never with this man. Reasons like that above, you have to be careful when men try to move to fast and what they are really after. EVERY GUY I MEET WANTS TO HAVE CHILDREN BY ME. I have not met one guy that hasn’t said that to me, in minutes and it is such a turn off. They just want to be bonded with me for life.

Men especially, need to be careful too because you have a lot of scandalous women out here. They make the good women like me look bad. I refuse to pay for someone else’s mistakes just because they were scorned by some selfish woman.

I feel like titles put to much pressure on people, then they try to follow a list of rules when it comes to dating. The men who try to make me their woman, they just want to control me. They don’t care about what I want to do in life or how to nurture my independence.

Status and titles can make you feel suffocated.

What happens if you don’t do what you are suppose to do, under that title of someones girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband. Are you headed for divorce?? People always realize the honeymoon is over once they deal with real life.

I hear from both sexes, “He doesn’t treat me like his wife” or “she doesn’t treat me like her husband”. People always want to be somebody to someone and they are not even prepared to be a wife/husband. They have no idea of what it entails. They don’t even know who they are.

They don’t ask god, to prepare them to be that person in someones life, they just ask god to send me a husband/wife. Some women plan their weddings way before they meet the man. This is sad! Because men don’t do this.

Some people can really miss out on the beauty of a person, because they are operating in “give me” mode. And I want this and that. To many expectations and entitlements just because of a “Title

People need to learn how to take things slow, become friends, communicate better and not worry about the end result so much. I believe people can end up with what they want and need, if they would just calm down. What’s meant to be, will be.

Friendship and then moving on to become lovers, seems more like a positive passionate way to be with someone and I’m not talking about just being an “intimate” lover.

To many people are looking for love and searching constantly, but the key is to just put it out there what you want. Have faith, let God, the universe give you that perfect woman/man that’s right for you.

Men You Have Been Looking For Women, In All The Wrong Places

Ok, so this is suppose to be a humorous post but I find it to ring true. If you already found love then this doesn’t apply to you. But for those of you that are still looking. Pay close attention! This is life altering vital information, LOL!

If you read my previous blog about men saying that women don’t cook. I’m going to give you some valuable information. You are clearly looking in the wrong places. The best way to find women, that have the qualities of what you are looking for in a life partner. Is to frequent where they are.

Thats the valuable tip!!! You see how easy that was??

(I should be getting paid for this!! Dr. Phill does, LOL. and countless others… Hmm I wonder how much money I can make, off of common sense???!!! I accept Visa, AMEX, Discover, Debit cards…LOL…Oh back to what I was saying, LOL)

That’s what women do, LOL. But some women are a bit more materialistic then men, In my opinion. A friend of mine told me, that if I wanted to find a man, who had a house to go to Home depot. LOL.

What kind of advice is that?? (insert confused emoji face) First of all I’m not looking for a man who has a house.

Every man doesn’t have a home, there are renters you know. Not only that, I’m not looking for a man. LOL. I’m not a hunter, the right man will show up when he shows up.

I’m looking for friendship, not to be somebody’s significant other right away. Now if somebody can tell me, where I can go to find some friendship, then that would be great, LOL! Point me in that direction please….

Men if you are looking for a woman who cooks, go to events/places surrounded by the theme of cooking. I was at Barnes and Noble the other day, and I was the only woman in the cookbook section. Some guy walked up to me, and said hello, I spoke back. And he said “so this is where a man goes to find a woman who likes to cook?” I said excuse me and just laughed.

He said “I’ve been looking in the wrong places”. I’m like “Yeah maybe you have, the best way to find a woman, who shares the same interest, is to go where they are”. So he sparked up a conversation with me asking me about food. And some men are so indirect with me, I’m used to it.

(God please send me a direct and consistent man) Oh sorry I had to pray for a moment :), LOL.

Especially when they want to find out if you have a significant other. So his next question was. What type of food does your husband like? I said I’m not married but my boyfriend loves Italian. So I shut that down, LOL. with a smile!

Judge me if you want, I really don’t care, LOL. But I just wasn’t interested and the best way to let someone down is to have a quick comeback. Yeah it may sound like “lying” but it’s the best way to get out of an awkward conversation. Plus he looked creepy, lol.

I don’t like men being pushy, and when I tell men I’m single, they want to take me out and marry me, in the same day. (I sometimes wonder where these men are from, where they think marriage is that easy after a couple minutes and a few days. Where do they do that at???) When they clearly see I’m not interested.

I use this approach at times, when I compliment a guy. Some men just can’t take a compliment.

They think a compliment is an invitation for sex. I complimented this guy on his shirt and he tried to hit on me and my next thing to say was, “what size is that shirt? My boyfriend would look great in that shirt. Have a nice day”.

He clearly was not amused, LOL. I don’t know why he couldn’t just say thank you and keep it moving??

I see that men really don’t get compliments or feel appreciated by women, so when it happens, it boost their ego in some way and they just take off with it, like they are on a football field.

I compliment both sexes but with men, its different. Men are all about their ego.

Why men are indirect with me, I don’t know. I’ve approached men before and I’ll simply ask, do you have a girlfriend?? I don’t care about rejection. Or how it makes me look or feel. And I’m only asking because it would be great to have a platonic friendship, a nice conversation and company with a mature male adult.

Do you know how many men are on this planet? This is why I don’t understand women who fight over men and talk about that male:female ratio, or women who share men. I never worry or plug myself into that equation.

But anyway, if you guys are looking for a woman, that will share your same interest, either ask first or go where they frequent. Don’t assume all women cook, because they don’t. I’ve seen several women, clueless in the kitchen, they act like the stove was just invented yesterday LOL. I know some of these women and they get the side eye from me.

Also its sexy when a man cooks too or wants to learn :). Food is a very intimate thing. It should be approached with love and care and carefully thought out. Food is suppose to heighten your senses and nourish your body. Well, at least thats how I see it.

For future reference guys, instead of the whole dinner and a movie thing, go to a cooking class, where you can eat afterwards. I would love that, (you hear that universe, love gods, romance angels, oh sorry I was praying again, lol) because this woman right here, does not like to eat out! If I do go out, and eat something good, I will be replicating this at home and modifying it to my taste.

Also you can meet women at a cooking class too, it’s not just for a spontaneous date. You can also meet women at the supermarket. I get excited going to the market! I love going food shopping, the way some women love to shop for shoes. I’ve noticed several times, men staring at me, while I’m shopping. They’ve even looked in my cart and asked what I was making.

You can try Home Depot, Loews, if you spot a woman looking at a refrigerator or anything home related, you can believe that she likes to cook and keep her home nice.

So there you have it men, forget online dating and blind dates…..go to Barnes & Noble and go to the cookbook section, Home Depot or Loews and you never know, you just might find the type of woman you are looking for and Love! 🙂

Posted in Men.

Terms I Prefer Not To Use When It Comes To Relationships

When it comes to relationships and love, there are a few terms that I prefer not to use.

“Fallen In Love” and “Settling Down”.

Words carry energy and some never stop to think, that maybe the reason why they haven’t got what they wanted, when it comes to love and even life, is because of the words they choose to use.

I, for one never like the term “fallen in love”.

Think about it… when people fall in love, they go crazy, their emotions get all twisted, they have a battle between their heart and their mind. People do crazy things just because they fell in love.

I’ve been in love before and I prefer to use the term “Ascend in love”.

Love lifted me higher, it opened up my heart chakra, It healed past wounds. I saw my future, my vision was clear and most of all my heart was open to love the person I was with.

Love is suppose to lift you higher, make you a better person. Complement your life and all other things that are good.

When two people understand love and understand how love works. They do everything in their power to nurture that love.

It’s not to say that problems wont arise, but when they do, they will respect and love each other and know the best way to handle whatever comes up because they will approach the situation with love.

To many people are “falling in love”, changing who they are, doing things they wouldn’t normally do, just because they “fell in love” with someone. Some people are really just infatuated.

Even the term “settling down” people use this term loosely, thinking they’ve come to a point in their life, where they want kids and marriage and they literally settle down. I know plenty of women who just wanted to get married, just to get married and settle down, because they felt, ok, I’m 28, let me get a husband and kids. So the first man that said, marry me, they said yes.

Then after the quick wedding and baby, and only a few days and months into the marriage, they are thinking they’ve made the biggest mistake of their life, all because they literally “Settle down”.

They didn’t take the time to fully get to know the person. They ignore all the red flags just because they wanted a ring so badly.

When it comes to love and relationships, no one should settle. Sometimes we settle and don’t even realize it. We see it as just loving the person for who they are. Accepting the good and the bad.

It gets disguised as compromise but deep down we know that we are not really happy and settling.

When it comes to wanting love, just make sure you use the right words to attract the love, you want in your life and continue to use the right words and actions to sustain it.

It’s Ok, To Not Be Ok, You’re Not Made Of Steel

So many times, we act like everything is fine. We smile to keep from crying. but in reality we are breaking down on the inside.

Life can get pretty overwhelming. Its easy for people to ignore you when you are going through something. Its easy for them to send you a quote and tell you stop being so negative. When in reality they have no idea the war you are fighting.

Life happens to everyone and it’s ok, to not be ok, you’re not made of steel.

Having feelings and being vulnerable is a sign of strength. When you feel a certain way about something, you just do. It’s ok to sit with those feelings and feel it and not try to hide it, because the more you do that, the more damage you do to your own spirit.

If your upset, be upset, if you feel like crying, cry. If someone is making you feel a certain way, tell them in a loving way. But one thing you must not do is act like it doesn’t exist or that it doesn’t bother you when it does.

I know for me, when it comes to people I’m always, encouraging others, being there in anyway I can, whether it’s calling, texting and emailing. My attempts to communicate are ignored, when it wasn’t that way before.

It bothers me especially when its uncalled for, when all I do is show people love. But it seems like these are just one sided relationships. No matter how busy I am. I make time but it seems like, I’m the only one putting in effort.

People claim I changed and they wonder why I stop talking to them. The thing is, they don’t realize they made it easy for me. How I treat people is how I want to be treated. I show love and give love and respect because I want the same back.

I can always sense when someone needs me and they will get a call from me. I’m the girl who is there for everyone else and wants to see everyone smile but I’m the one who’s hurting and people think I’m made of steel.

I’m tired of people telling me I’m strong, I know that shit already but I’m not made of steel.

I’ve seen the damaging effects of what can happen when you suppress feelings and act like it doesn’t exist. It can weigh heavy on your heart. Some people even die of a broken heart.

There are a lot of people who use the “busy card” and they say shit just because it sounds nice, but actions speak louder than words, we all know that.

My problem is when people say they are going to do something, I actually believe them, but when I keep hearing the same thing over and over, like “I’ll call you back later” or “I’ll see you later” and it never happens and days and weeks go by. Its like ok. This happens to me a lot with men. All the time and I can’t stand it.

I was talking to a friend of mine about love and why it eludes me. I talked about the good and the bad but it’s the same thing over and over again when it comes to men. Then people wonder, why I’m giving up on love. Because love don’t live here anymore and not right now.

It seems, like consistency, honesty, loyalty, effort, monogamy and friendship is hard to come by now a days with men.

I’m not into force communication with anyone. Life is to short. I want meaningful people in my life. People who want to grow and learn and be loved. Not people who say one thing and do another.

I’ve saved a lot of money on my phone bill by cutting people off. LOL and so should you. I’m tired of caring and giving and I’m a simple women, with simple needs and it seems like the smallest things I ask for is hard to come by.

So I’m done! These feelings shall past one day but for right now, I’m done. I’m not getting close to anyone or letting anyone in my heart. The only thing that keeps me sane now a days is god and music.

Until what I hear in music finds me, my heart is no longer open to love and friendship from any man. I have never looked for love and never will.

But people, I can’t deal with them right now. I realize, I’m to nice. I’m a woman of my word. I’m to trusting, to caring, to giving .  to loving, and frankly I’m exhausted. I’m not a people pleaser, its just my nature, to be who I am, but I honestly feel like the way people treat me, and because this is what keeps showing up in my life, is because I need to be more like the people who treat me a certain way.

With todays technology, people get a text, call or email and they just ignore it. So many people ignored my mom when she was alive, now they are wishing they could call her. I guess being busy, nonstop is better than hearing someones voice.

I need to take days, weeks and months to respond, and purposely ignore people. Its something I don’t do, but I need to do it. I’m tired of supporting people and being there and cheering them on, when I need the same thing. One sided relationships, I don’t know why they come my way and why these people think its ok to be this way, when they claim they don’t like it themselves.

It doesn’t start off that way, but when it comes to men and dating, there is no such thing as friends in this day in age. One day, god will bless me again, with someone like my first love, my best friend. He’s the only reason why I know love still exist, even though my love life sucks, LOL.

Everyone that treats me a certain way, its just gods way of blocking me from people who don’t deserve my heart or time, nor my body. So for that I say thank you god! I dodge many bullets!!

Every “NO” is a blessing in disguise.

Whatever one feels, no one can tell you its right or wrong, its how you feel until it passes. So feel the way you want to feel but don’t dwell there.

Always know that better days are ahead and that you deserve the best in all areas of your life.

I’ve Been Hearing A lot Lately From Men, That Women Are Not cooking…

Or taking care of their household.

Some women might get upset at this. But I’m going to have to agree with the guys on this one and heres why…..

I’ve been noticing this too. Not recently but for years, I know some of these women. Anybody who knows me, knows how I feel about cooking and taking care of your home. I just feel that as a woman and especially if you have kids, you should cook for them.

I don’t believe in take out or microwaveable meals. I wasn’t raised that way. My mom cooked every single day and she cleaned and that was instilled in me. I’m not sure why these women are not cooking or cleaning but seeing how they were raised. It’s their mothers fault.

Their mother don’t cook or clean. So now, they are raising young women, who don’t cook or clean. No Man wants to be around a woman who has a filthy home, unless hes that way too.

I know women, who step out their house looking nice, drive a nice car, very independent, make good money, but their house looks like a bomb hit it. And they act like they don’t see the mess.

I had to stop going over to these peoples house because it was just a mess all the time. I couldn’t even sit down. I was asked to spend the night. Which I said in my mind HELL NO!! LOL

I’ve been invited over to these peoples house on the holidays and there was no food to be cooked. This happened to me, during christmas.

I’m not sure why women are being lazy, whether they are single or not, whether they have kids or not but I clearly do not have respect for peoples who keep a dirty home.

One of my biggest pet peeves is seeing dishes in the sink. I can’t stand it! I’ve seen women who keep dishes in the sink for months. Someone I knew never had her significant other over, because she didn’t want to clean. Her previous relationship ended because she was so messy.

Men are not excluded from this, lol. My ex was lazy. Amongst other things, thats why he’s an ex. I had to get on him for not cleaning when he was in my apartment. I got upset when I came home after a long day and there was nothing to eat and he was home all day. #hehadtogo but when he came home their was a meal waiting because I cooked.

But back to the women….

These men that are saying this, are looking for potential life partners.

When men are ready to settle down, whether they can cook or not themselves. They want to know that the mother of their child(ren) Is going to be able to take care and cook for them. It’s a sign of nurturing.

It’s what they look for. I’ve met men that, because of this one trait that I mention, they wanted to marry me and they didn’t even know me., lol. As soon as I said I cook, they were ready to buy me a ring and wife me up within a matter of minutes or days, LOL.

Some men are just old school, they believe that the man should work and provide and they want a woman who can cook and hold down the house why they are working. Theres nothing wrong with that. If you are a stay at home mom, why aren’t you cooking or cleaning??

When I see women not cooking or caring for their homes, it’s just a sign of neglect. They’re being lazy. I worry about their kids. Their children are not being given proper nutrition. When these kids grow up, they will not have, vital life skills that they will need in life. It all starts at home.

I’ve seen on recipe blogs, women asking if a meal is microwaveable or not. Anything to avoid actually cooking. I know a lady, who does not cook at all, if you saw her kitchen and the lack of cookware she has. You would shake your head. She puts everything in the microwave. I mean everything.

I saw this lady struggling with how to make a pie and rice. She act like the stove was just invented, LOL because all she does is reheat stuff and order out. She served me food one time and it all came up. It was bland and nasty and I couldn’t even stomach it.

A microwave meal is not a home cooked meal nor is take out.  I don’t understand how people go through life not cooking or cleaning.

I really don’t like to eat out, peoples idea of cooking for me, is taking me out. I’m always cooking for people when they visit. I’m very hospitable, but I don’t get the same in return.

I get it, life gets busy, but the one thing, that we all do every day is eat. Kids shouldn’t have tot suffer because their mother is lazy and don’t want to cook.

You can create fond memories of cooking with your significant other and your children. Cooking should be approached with love. I have the most fondest memories, of my mom when she was alive of us being in the kitchen. It’s the reason why, I’m in the kitchen pretty much everyday.

Women complain they don’t have time. This is where meal planning comes in. There are a lot of things that are in supermarkets that you can make yourself. You’ll save money too.

Plus with all the new cookware they have out, like a slow cooker. It does all the work for you.

Bottom line, at the end of the day, when a man comes home after a long day, he wants a hot meal. I don’t see anything wrong with that.

If a man is looking for a certain type of woman, that he wants to marry or have as a life partner and raise kids with, this woman is going to have to get her ass in the kitchen, LOL.

Women want a man who has a good paying job, a degree and they want him to be about something, with a whole list of unrealistic standards. Well men want the same thing, especially when it comes to a woman who cooks and cleans.

Distinguishing The Human Being From The Artist

When it comes to artist in any field of entertainment, It seems like people have a hard time distinguishing, the artist from the human being. A lot of people fall of in love with the image they see, thinking that they are in love with the actual person when they are not.

There is nothing wrong with showing your favorite artist some love. But some people really take it to the extreme. They tend to forget that, artist are human beings. Instead of loving the art and supporting the artist. They want to be with the artist and they form this fantasy in their mind, about what it would be like to be with that particular artist. This obsession is so unhealthy on so many levels.

I’ve witness and observed first hand, how an unhealthy obsession, towards an artist could be, when I was targeted, by a fan of one of my favorite groups. I felt so bad for this guy because when a person is obsessed with someone and they want to be with that person, there is no telling what that person might do.

I like many people, have my favorite entertainers that I absolutely love and support, because I simply enjoy their art. But I recognize that they are just expressing themselves and they should not be idolized. I have met some artist and they seem like they were more happy to meet me, as if I was the “celebrity” LOL.

I’ve had some weird “celebrity encounters” with artist that furthermore lets me, really realize that they are human beings. Some of these artist tried to use their “status” to get what they wanted but when they were rejected. Then they act like I was the one with the problem.

I guess they were used to the groupies and pretty much women throwing themselves at them and here, they meet me, a regular fan and I make them feel real regular in a minute. LOL.  People in the industry don’t impress me. Yes ,their life is public and thats pretty much about it. But I don’t get involved nor do I care about their private lives.

I don’t know these people personally and neither do fans, but they seem to think they actually do. Unless I get to know a person, I’m not treating you special, when you are a human being just like me. Artist, go through the same thing that other people that are not in the public eye go through.

Being in the spotlight gives the illusion that this artist is larger than life. Even some artist tend to think so too, when they are treated a certain way. We’ve all seen how artist get special treatment just because of who they are and some of them use it to their full advantage.

You have a lot of people that want to be in the industry just because of that recognition. They feel the only way to be important in society is to be famous. They see the entertainers as gods, they associate that with living the good life. When artist that used to be at the top of their game, are no longer at the top. It’s a big let down.

They struggle to get back on top and to be recognized again. Some never make it and their world goes spiraling out of control, they end up doing drugs, getting arrested, some even commit suicide from the pressure. Fans and the media start to treat them like a “has been” They feel “washed up” which is an awful way to be and feel.

People in the industry have a hard time, adjusting to the real world at times, because its like their gift is a blessing and a curse and they never know, who’s real and who wants to be with them for who they really are. Love seems elusive for most artist and forming genuine friendships. Leechers and opportunist come out of nowhere, they can even be related to them.

Fans really need to recognize that artist are human beings. They have to leave this earth one day too! They are not immortal. I love Michael Jacksons music, just like the whole world but when MJ transcended. People act like it was never going to happened. I was shocked and saddened by his passing but the only thing I could do, is thank god that he gave him to us and that he left an amazing body of work behind, for generations to come.

There will only be one Michael Jackson, just like there will only be one, of each and every one of us. We all have something to contribute to this world and being in the public eye is not the only way. When I observe peoples behavior and read comments that they leave about artist on youtube or social media.

The only thing I can do is shake my head and say damn!….because these people, really think they know these artist and they want to know everything about their life, just because they support them. An artist personal life should not be a factor when it comes to album or movie sales.

Artist are human beings and they should be treated as so. Artist need loyal fans who support what they do. Fans will never really know who an artist is on a personal level and how they are. That private part of their life is reserved for someone special who will love them for who they are. That person will be able to distinguish the human being from the artist.