You ever catch yourself relating to a song, a movie or a book? We all do. When it comes to art of any kind it always resonates in real life on some level. I wonder sometimes do these artist know me personally?! LOL.
It’s crazy at times how deeply it resonates, especially with music and movies. Whether it’s the male character or the female character or sometimes both at the same time. I always recognize bits and pieces of myself in art. I sometimes wonder how other people can watch a movie or hear a song and they feel and see absolutely nothing. The artist is telling a story, how can you not visualize it??
I feel there is a disconnect there on an emotional level. When I get moved and feel such intense emotions. I’m wondering how this person is not feeling the same way. Some people feel that if they allow themselves to feel, they’ll look crazy. There are certain songs and movies that I love, but I know that If I put it on, FORGET IT! I will need a box of kleenex, LOL. It doesn’t matter how many times I say, I’m not going to cry, or get all in my emotions but I always do! LOL.
I was up one night and “How Stella Got Her Groove Back” came on. This movie if one is paying attention, very meticulously. This movie has a lot of emotional depth to it. Angela Bassett and Taye Diggs chemistry carries this film perfectly from beginning to end. We all know what this movie is about right??. Older established woman, falls in love with a younger man. Yeah that has a lot to do with it but the movie is REALLY about LOVE. Because in the end, that’s what conquers them, LOVE!
Here Stella is at the prime of her life and she falls for someone who is younger than her. Someone at first who gives her hot intense love making. Something she’s been missing for a very, very long time. She decided to have a little fun and enjoy life but then as they continue to see each other, she realizes that what she’s been missing is more than just great sex. She needs and wants love in her life and this young man, sparked that inside of her.
I’m pretty sure a lot of people can relate. Or maybe you’re young and you fall for an older man/woman. Either way, it resonates. Stella is used to being in control, you can tell this woman wants things her way or no way. She’s been married to her career and money for a long time. This is probably what ruined her last marriage. To much Independence and control. The same way she was in her last marriage, is the same way she was with Winston.
Underneath all that control and independence, was a soft-hearted woman, who really was just afraid to love again. She wanted love, but at every angle, she was blocking it. (Like most women do) Stella had good reason to, his age, not wanting to rob this young man of his life, with life experience. No matter how much, Winston wanted to be the man and love her. She had her walls up and he couldn’t get in.
It’s hard to love someone with a closed heart. The closer he got to her, her walls were coming down and it scared the shit out of her. This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by Iyanla Vanzant about Intimacy,
We can all relate to this quote above, even men. I find that with men, in my experience. When they find themselves feeling something for me, they back away. Sometimes even to the point where I never hear from them ever again. Some people just can’t deal with their emotions. They want love but then their fears and insecurities show up, and it takes control over them.
Winston wanted more than just physical love, yes he was young but he wanted to be loved too. He was willing to change his whole life just to be with her. He didn’t care about her age. All he saw was the woman he loved and wanted to build a life with. Stella was not about to pick up her whole life, to move, so it had to be him. She was older and more established so this was great storytelling plus it made more sense.
This movie also goes to show, that no matter how successful you are, you still want to be loved. Stella had a big house, money and her car. All of that did not matter, without love in her life. All of those things could not hold her at night. She needed a man. As much as she did not want to admit it, because she was proud.
A lot of women do that. They shout to the heavens, how much they don’t need a man. But it’s not true, thats just a front they put on to mask their deepest desires. Men do it too sometimes. They don’t want to give up being single, the bachelor life, plenty of women. But then at the end of the day, those lonely man microwaveable dinners are not so appetizing, lol.. They wish they had a loving nurturing woman, to cook for them and have dinner with and keep them warm at night.
Winston clearly wanted to step up and be the man that Stella needed, but she just kept shooting him down. With everything that she had going on and didn’t have going on. She couldn’t get out of her own way to let love in and to let someone be there for her. Winston didn’t want to just play house. He wanted to marry her and complement her life. Marriage was the last thing on her mind. Especially since they knew each other for a short amount of time.
But their hearts loved each other and knew of no time and distance.
A lot of people are running on this time frame of, months and years in order to know if it’s really real love. Instead of just being in the moment, they want time to tell, what their heart and soul already knows. I hear all the time, “it should take this long and oh its to soon” and you debate with yourself, over and over again, not to feel what you feel. But the more you try not to feel, it keeps showing up. You yearn for the love you’ve always wanted and the person you had or never had. The heart wants what it wants.
Even if it is just for the moment, a few days, weeks or months. Be present, be in the moment.
Stella and Winston thought it was a moment thing, that it was only in Jamaica until it trickled over into their real lives.
She made him want to grow up and be a man. He knew that if he wanted to prove himself worthy of her love that he had to step it up, to meet her on the level where she was. There was a lot of compromising in this film. Yes, he could have went to medical school in Jamaica but in the end, he could go to medical school anywhere.
Stella didn’t find love where she lived. Love was in Jamaica. One things for sure is, when it’s time for two souls to meet, they will meet no matter where they are or the circumstances. They needed to trust the process but since they both had fears trusting was a bit difficult.
Despite the age difference between Stella and Winston, they fell in love and they had all these challenges but love won in the end. She realized she couldn’t live without him and he realized it too! Even though it seemed crazy and people judged them, she went with her heart, and decided to take a chance on love.
Age really is just a number.
I’m not sure if I would ever date a younger man. I never have. I seem to always meet men who are 11+ years older than me and I’m 35. It’s just a preference. Older men are like fine wine, with age they become better, more mature. I’m an old soul, so I need someone who can match that. Older men are just sexy, they’ve lived longer and have this wisdom that makes them fit to lead and protect. I’m not sure a young man can do that for me, LOL.