I can’t help but feel like single people are Aliens, living amongst humans who are in relationships. It seems like when you are single and don’t have kids, people look at you or treat you like you have some incurable disease.
Women in relationships with/without kids, treat single women without kids as if something is wrong with us.
They want to stage an intervention to help find you a man FAST!
I remember when I was 25 women used to say to me, “so when are you having kids”? or “you better start thinking about a family now, before your eggs dry up”.. First of all, WTF!!!!! I’m 35 and I still hear that. So pretty much for a decade, I’ve been hearing how I need to hurry up and get married before my eggs dry up. I never really thought about having kids to be honest.
If I did, it would have to be with someone I loved and under the right circumstances. Not because it was an accident.
I’m so tired of people in relationships, treating single people as if we are some extinct species and that we need to hurry up and breed for our own survival.
I know a lot of women, who hurried up and had a baby or got married to some man, that they barely even loved, just because of societal pressure, from family and friends. I was never that woman. A lot of women have no idea of what being a mother or wife entails. They just want it, then when they realize its a full time, lifetime commitment. They complain. Every life decision is based around the kids or the significant other.
They were sold this fantasy, to dream and plan their wedding when they were a baby themselves and could barely understand the concept. Some grew up to even planning their big day without a husband. I can’t believe I saw this trending on pinterest. I’m all for positive thinking and putting things into the universe, but how do you plan a wedding, and you’re not even in a relationship or engaged yet?
A lot of women tie their identity to a man. There is nothing wrong with wanting love. But you have to be cognizant of why you want to be married or even have kids. Getting married and having a family should be an addition to what you already have going on. Ok grant it, it doesn’t always work out that way, but a lot of women fear, what others might think, just because they are single and not have a family yet.
Some are not even prepared, they just want it. I saw a woman on T.V. say, that she didn’t have kids or a man and all of her friends were getting engaged and she felt left out and wanted to be part of the club. Thats not a reason to start a family. She didn’t even have herself established yet in life. But she suffered from FOMO- Fear Of Missing Out.
FOMO is dangerous, because it makes it seem like you have to hurry up and do things, because of time and your age. It makes you compare your life to others. Women have FOMO all the time, more than men. You never hear men talking about their wedding and planning it when they were little boys. All of this is implanted in women minds.
When I was young, my mom never bought me dolls. My mom put a book, pen and paper in my hand. She gave me music. I never liked dolls, I never even had a barbie doll. My sisters played with dolls, They both had kids by 17/18 years old.
Because I knew early on in life that my mind was going to take me places. So I thank god, for my angel in heaven for encouraging me to write, read and use my brain.
Parents don’t realize how they program their kids. If I ever had a daughter. I would never buy her a doll. Judge me if you want. When I hear little girls talking about babies and they haven’t even hit puberty yet. I look at their parents.
But anyway, there is nothing wrong with being in a relationship. But it has to be healthy one. There are a lot of people in relationships and they are miserable and lonely as f**k. I was in one of those. We’ve all been there. I refuse to be with someone just to be with someone. It’s not that serious.
There are several reasons why people can be single. Relationships are work, they require a lot of time and nurturing in order to make it work. You have people that only want to be with someone when shit is great, but as soon as times get hard, they are ready to bail.
You have people that need to let their heart heal, in order to be with someone new again. We all want love and to be love, but opening your heart up again, can take some time. It’s easier said than done.
I feel like when you are in your 20s and even early 30s, you should get to know who you are and what you want. This shouldn’t stop when you hit a certain age. You have to constantly be evolving. Love can hit you at any age but you need to work on yourself. So that you can be ready to receive the love that you desire.
I know women who have never been single or lived alone. They refuse to be by themselves. By the time one relationship ends, they are in the next one. They even stopped dating men and are now with women just to avoid being alone. This is sad!
There are advantages to being single, You can do as you please, no major life decision is based upon someone else. You get to save money. My last relationship left my in a financial drought. I was doing everything and I eventually ended it. Had I ended it earlier things would have been different. I will never make that mistake again.
I’m not going to allow society to make me feel like I’m an alien, because I don’t have a man. I love having peace and quiet. I love walking around naked and being free, lol.. The next relationship I do get into. I need a man who will respect my space and independence, and not want to be up under me all the time. I don’t answer to anyone, so it will be a challenge letting a new man, know what I’m doing at times and where I’m going.
It would be great to wake up to someone a few days a week or the weekend but every single day?? I’m not sure about that. I guess I have a fear of being suffocated. Once I get into a relationship, it will not be about me anymore. I know that being with someone can only enhance my life and help me grow. I just don’t want a love that consumes me.
The next man I’m with, will really have to be special, love hard, be romantic and be passionate, in order to take me off the market 🙂