Hmmmm…this is a tough one because everyone is different. Some people feel they need titles to know whats going on and what to expect. Some just like to go with the flow. I can’t speak for everyone else but here is my take on it.
I honestly feel like “Titles” makes people feel “Entitled“.
Let that marinate for a few minutes….Ok you done??
Think about it, when you put a title on someone, what happens next?, Under that title, it seems like there is a contract and a whole list of rules of does and don’ts . Instead of people getting to know one another and being who they are and being fully cognizant of why they want to be in a relationship and how they can complement each other lives.
They’re so busy focusing on the title and fulfilling that agreement. Women do this a lot, they always want to know where they stand with a guy after a few dates and even if they decide to sleep with someone. Theres this hormone, apparently that women release called oxytocin that makes them feel closer to a guy after sex.
I must have missed that hormone LOL… or maybe it’s not in my DNA. Or maybe the right guy hasn’t made me release it, in a tantric way. Does this hormone also make women crave babies and marriage??? Because thats what happens. They start to control the guy and make demands just because they shared their body.
If you see potential and you and this guy click, if you want a husband one day and want a guy to respect you and you want to know someone a little better, don’t sleep with him right away.
You can’t get mad at a guy if he wants sex, since you did it so freely the first time. Unless you can handle the emotions that come with being intimate with someone, keep your legs closed. It’s not rocket science.
I personally think some men have this hormone too.
Even when an intimate encounter does not take place. I have met men that have wanted to make me their girl or wife, within a matter of minutes because of some need they wanted to fulfilled. They never even asked me what I wanted or if I was even attracted to them or saw them as a life partner.
I went running in the opposite direction.
A lot of people when they first meet someone, they are always worrying about the end result. Some people are not focused on being friends first. They just want to rush. As soon as they hear something that sounds like a good fit, as far as a life partner, they automatically think that, that person is the one.
I’ve honestly lost count of how many men have tried to put me in that category as “the one” so soon and they don’t even know me. They figure all women want to get married and have babies. Some women do, but even if I thought about that, who said I wanted that person to be you??
I never look at every guy I meet as a potential boyfriend/husband. Thats not how I approach dating with my wants and needs on a first date, If it even gets to that.
When I meet someone, I’m not worried about the end result. Having a baby by someone and marrying someone, should be carefully thought out and planned, I’m not talking about planning a wedding. Having a baby bonds people for life. It’s serious and should not be taken lightly… And grant it, people do change and grow later on in life.
You have a lot of women that are in love with the idea of marriage and having a baby. They stay believing in that fantasy of happily ever after. This fantasy has been sold to young girls, before they can talk and walk. But this same story is not being sold to little boys, to be a husband and a father.
But if you have a strong foundation built on friendship, then that can sustain whatever comes after. I know so many women and very few men that are struggling in their relationships, because they didn’t take adequate time, to get to know one another and be friends first. To make sure they had things in common first.
They just wanted what they wanted and they let a whole bunch of other factors that, had nothing to do with friendship or love rule their decisions. Also their was no marriage plan. They never discussed life, goals, building something. They just wanted what they thought everyone should want and for somebody to be there and thats it and for their kids to take care of them when they get old.
This is what I hear all the time. One girl I know thought she was old at 28 and rushed. She never even loved the guy and still to this day she doesn’t. I personally don’t understand how you have a baby by someone you don’t love.
For the men, they just wanted a family and thats it. They figured. I’m the man of the house, I’ll work and provide and thats it until they get old. This simple and boring routine gets old real fast.
Sometimes all the spontaneity goes out the door, when people put titles on their relationship. Is a status in life really that important. What does it all mean??
I know for me, I care more about the friendship than anything. F**k being somebody’s boo after a few minutes or days. I can not stand the indirect pressure men have put on me. When I feel this invisible force, I pull away fast and its for good reason. What is the rush for???
Some of these guys are still married or involved and they are trying to lock down the next woman. they haven’t even let their heart heal.
The men who want to rush and put a title on me, only want to do so , because they feel if they don’t, they won’t get what they want. Or some other guy will come along and get what they want. They act like it’s a once in a lifetime deal, that will go away at midnight.
I can not stand when men put all of their eggs in one basket with me. One guy after 6 days, was talking about me being a stepmother to his children. Which I didn’t even know he had. He figured since he met me 9 years prior, for about 15 minutes, that when he saw me again, he should move quick, because according to him, I got away.
When we met in my 20’s I had no clue he liked me, for 3 years but within that 15 minute conversation he started talking about babies and marriage and he pitched his whole life to me. 9 years later he did it again, except he had the kids already by two different women. But he also mentioned how we were suppose to have 3 kids together and love after 1 day of talking to me. He couldn’t have made it anymore obvious he wanted to sleep with me too.
I just thanked god that I was never with this man. Reasons like that above, you have to be careful when men try to move to fast and what they are really after. EVERY GUY I MEET WANTS TO HAVE CHILDREN BY ME. I have not met one guy that hasn’t said that to me, in minutes and it is such a turn off. They just want to be bonded with me for life.
Men especially, need to be careful too because you have a lot of scandalous women out here. They make the good women like me look bad. I refuse to pay for someone else’s mistakes just because they were scorned by some selfish woman.
I feel like titles put to much pressure on people, then they try to follow a list of rules when it comes to dating. The men who try to make me their woman, they just want to control me. They don’t care about what I want to do in life or how to nurture my independence.
Status and titles can make you feel suffocated.
What happens if you don’t do what you are suppose to do, under that title of someones girlfriend/boyfriend, wife/husband. Are you headed for divorce?? People always realize the honeymoon is over once they deal with real life.
I hear from both sexes, “He doesn’t treat me like his wife” or “she doesn’t treat me like her husband”. People always want to be somebody to someone and they are not even prepared to be a wife/husband. They have no idea of what it entails. They don’t even know who they are.
They don’t ask god, to prepare them to be that person in someones life, they just ask god to send me a husband/wife. Some women plan their weddings way before they meet the man. This is sad! Because men don’t do this.
Some people can really miss out on the beauty of a person, because they are operating in “give me” mode. And I want this and that. To many expectations and entitlements just because of a “Title”
People need to learn how to take things slow, become friends, communicate better and not worry about the end result so much. I believe people can end up with what they want and need, if they would just calm down. What’s meant to be, will be.
Friendship and then moving on to become lovers, seems more like a positive passionate way to be with someone and I’m not talking about just being an “intimate” lover.
To many people are looking for love and searching constantly, but the key is to just put it out there what you want. Have faith, let God, the universe give you that perfect woman/man that’s right for you.