Why I Never Looked For Love And Why You Shouldn’t Either

I’m pretty sure as you read this title, you will think something is wrong with me? I assure you, I’m perfectly sane.

Like what do you mean, don’t look for love?? How else am I suppose to find it??

Simple, don’t look for it! Love will find you, when the time is right!

A lot of things in life are really just that simple. We make it difficult.

You know how you have people, that are so worried about the destination, they forget to enjoy the journey. People think that when they set goals, whether they are short or long that, there has to be some end result all the time and when that doesn’t happen. They are disappointed.

There is nothing wrong with having a clear vision and goal in mind, but sometimes you just might, end up with something better, than you ever imagined.

The same can be said with WANTING and NEEDING Love. Don’t look for it. If its meant to be then you will have it. When you date, date to have a good time. Don’t worry about that person being yours forever. You just met them.

When it comes to love or dating. I have this non-approach that has worked out in my favor. Depending on how you look at it.

I don’t date. That’s my approach, LOL

I like to get to know someone first, before I let them take me out. I have to see if I even want to spend the evening with this person. I have to think about whether or not, I want to get dressed up to go out. I personally don’t see the point in dressing up for a meal. Maybe because I’m a simple person and I cook.

When you get to know someone first by talking to them, before the date, you get to get a sense of who they are, before they actually look at you. This is probably going to sound conceited, but every time I meet a guy, they always wind up liking me and wanting more.

I like to focus on connection, chemistry and friendship. I don’t want to go out with someone, that I don’t want to be in their company. The last few guys who attempted to take me out on a date. Forgot they were married. So of course we never went out. I never knew married people dated LOL…. maybe thats some new trend, no one told me about LOL

I have so many horror stories but its all good though. It makes for a good laugh and read, LOL.

I need time to asses mens behavior. To see how consistent they are or aren’t. For men to keep their word. Like when you say you will call me back. If you can’t, at least acknowledge it. I like men to be on time and mindful.

I’m a very simple woman but this backfires at times. But in a good way, it helps me weed out the players.

I’m just not into loud places when it comes to eating out. So this is why “dating” can be difficult. Men think just because I don’t like to eat out that, they will get a free meal and sex. Just because I don’t like to eat out, doesn’t mean, I don’t want to go out sometimes. I’m not into that new thing of “netflix and chill” I don’t even like netflix.

I met up with one guy at the park. No fancy dinner, just sitting and talking by the lake. I feel like if we connect. Then we can go somewhere and get something light to eat. My idea of a “date” doesn’t have to be dinner and a movie. If I get dressed up, I want to go somewhere LOL. I’m not going all out for a meal.

People are always trying to get me to date and I just don’t do it. Now a days theres to much pressure to date.

Not everyone is focused on marriage and family. Some people just want companionship.

I’m a woman who is not afraid to be alone. Some women are. If I chose to share the last time I was with a man or in a relationship, you would be shocked and think something is wrong with me. But it’s not! I don’t need therapy either.

I’m not settling. I don’t ignore red flags. I have never been that emotionally invested in a man to think he’s the one. I recognize game.

I don’t relationship hop. I could date a whole bunch of men, if I wanted to, but I don’t. What for?? I don’t have that type of time, nor do I want to make that type of time. I have a life to live. Going out with random dudes never appealed to me. I know what I want and when what I want, shows up, I will know.

People date, to find what they want. I saved so much money on not getting dressed up for dates, or bad horror stories. My horror stories come from talking/texting, which I cut out.

I like my weekends quiet. I’m to much of a homebody. I’m not that chick looking to hit up the club as soon as friday comes or some bar to meet sleazy men. Most men now a days, just want to hook up and I’m not about casual sex.

My first love, we were friends first, he courted me. When we saw each other, it wasn’t really a date, we just hung out and then if we were hungry, we wind up getting something to eat. It was spontaneous. Sometimes we never ate, we had a smoothie and he bought me dinner to take home. We simply enjoyed each others company, talking, walking, hanging out by the seaport.

It’s not the same, but it correlates. I have friends who try to take me out to eat and I always get frustrated, because I want to go home and eat and they love eating out. I stop going out with certain females, because they kept me out for long periods of time and they wanted to go shoe shopping and spend money on food, and I wanted go home.

Why would I spend money on food, when I have a fridge full of food??

Women for some strange reason like for men to take them to fancy restaurants, even if it’s a guy they don’t know or like. Women like free meals. I would like to know whats the big deal?? Am I missing something here?? If a guy does take me to a fancy restaurant one day, I want it to be with someone I actually like. It needs to be more intimate and quiet.

I feel that there is someone for everybody and love will find people, when they least expect it. I never looked for loved and love found me, with my first love. There were no expectations or rushing or any kind. That was the best love, I ever had that God blessed me with and thats what I want again.

People say if you don’t date, how will you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? I’m not looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with. I’m not putting that much of a guarantee on someone. If we’re together, we’re together and lets just enjoy each other and take it slow day by day.

I’m not into the “death do us part”. If I love you, I will do my best to make sure you feel that love every time, we’re together and when we’re apart. I need someone who loves just a deeply as I do. In this world full of people. It’s hard finding a man to keep his word and be consistent. To have some mature adult conversation, and that doesn’t even cost anything.

I’m not against dating, I just don’t do it. If I share my space and energy with you, I need to feel something. Yes, it would be nice to have someone that I’m fond of, to hold me on cold winter nights. But thats what a good down comforter and microfiber fleece sheets are for LOL.. Now that was funny, I couldn’t resist. LOL

If you don’t have “Berkshire” sheets, you are missing out!!!!  They have them on flex pay at QVC. Oh back to what I was saying.

My personal space is very personal to me, and I need a man to understand this. Walls hold energy and I’m not going to just let any ol’ man and his energy into my home, my bed or in me.

A simple woman, with simple needs but yet love seems so elusive…but one day it will find me again. And all this so-called waiting will be worth it!

Always remember, God is saving you for someone special. So relax and let love find you. Your only job is to remain open and recognize when love does actually come knocking and hopefully you will be ready to open the door to receive it.


2 thoughts on “Why I Never Looked For Love And Why You Shouldn’t Either

  1. Today I was feeling down and out, going through the motions of whether or not if or when will I meet someone, somehow I ended up on this site. Thanks! I will remember that God is saving me for someone special


    1. Hi Shelby,

      Thank you so much for commenting. I’m glad you found my blog and that my words brought you some comfort. Shelby I know exactly how you feel. I know love will find me one day. I have a lot of love to give to the right man and I know you do too. We all do!. The right man will show up and when he does, you will know God sent him to you. I understand how you feel, people say I’m such a good loving person why am I single?? I ‘m not sure why I keep running into nut after nut, LOL. I’m not even a dater. I like to be friends first but men don’t like to be in the friend zone for to long. Oh well, not my problem, lol. Love will come to you Shelby, remember to go with you intuition and your mind then heart. My celibacy turns men off, I don’t care, it helps me weed out who’s for me and who just wants sex and I am worth more than that and I want love and deserve love and know that you deserve it too!


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