Now before I continue, if you are one of those women, that believe a man should always pay. You may not like what I have to say, so just hit the back button and don’t continue reading….Don’t waste your time…but if you decide to continue reading you might just learn something…a different perspective is always good.
Here is my take on this very taboo-touchy subject. When it comes to dating, if the guy invites you out, it’s only out of respect that he pays if he’s a real gentlemen. If a woman ask a guy out, she should pay. But even if a woman ask you out..she still expects you to pay… Lets just keep it real… we all know that some women don’t like to pay for things, let alone dinner. So don’t hold your breathe.
Rarely do you ever hear that a woman treats a guy to breakfast, lunch or dinner. Well, I’m one of those women that has paid for a meal or two with a guy. Not because I was dating him, it’s because I thought it was a nice gesture and its nice to do something for someone else. I treat people the way I want to be treated and if someone has paid for me, why not return the favor.
I’m not selfish when it comes to money just ask my EXs, lol. I was with someone who was selfish with money and that’s one of the reasons, besides many that I am single. I don’t feel a man should have to pay all the time. If you meet someone and you guys are friends, then you become exclusive and you really like each other, what’s wrong with picking up the tab every now and then?
It’s a sign of appreciation. I really don’t pay for meals for guys because I really don’t date, nor do I like to eat out all the time. But the very few times I have went out, I paid or I left a tip and its because I wanted to and the service was great.
I honestly don’t know why women do not like to pay for anything?! Some women believe a man should always pay and that’s not right. Women like to feel special and appreciated and guess what?? So do men. Yes ladies… in case you haven’t figured it out. Your man (and men in general) wants to feel appreciated too.
NEWS FLASH: IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU.
Even if you reach for your wallet and he says no, it’s still a kind gesture that you thought about it. I remember on my second date with my first love, I left a tip and went to the ladies room. When I got home and was emptying my Jacket, he slipped the money back in my pockets. It must have been when he hugged me. He was always doing stuff like that.
But he was a true gentlemen and it was how he was raised. You don’t take money from a woman. So I had to find other creative ways to show my love and appreciation.
Every guy is different because men have taken money from me, or should I say stole and some have even asked me. I thought it was a joke but it wasn’t, LOL. But men know when they come across a nice girl, whose not after them for their money. They can assess that sometimes. My ex’s and men that have taken me out, have saved so much money, LOL.
That really because I don’t like to eat out, it takes me forever to order off the menu, thats because I cook. If I’m out running errand, trust me, I have a granola bar or muffin in my bag. I don’t like to spend money on something I can make. My friends used to call me the muffin and the granola bar lady, LOL.
I’m that woman that thinks ahead and packs stuff, if I’m going to be out. A friend of mine, we were going to get our hair done and she got hungry, she had no clue I already thought of lunch and a snack. I made us salads and smoothies. Salads are expensive and I’m not spending $10 or more on some iceberg water down lettuce with no flavor. Nor am I eating fast food. If I’m spending money on my hair, I’m not spending money on food. Its all about balance.
Personally when it comes to dating, there are just to many rules, and I personally do not feel like being bothered with them. A date doesn’t always have to involve an expensive restaurant.
Ladies if a guy takes you out, you don’t always have to order something expensive, just because he’s treating. A friend of mine took me out years ago and we went to FRIDAYS and the meal was less than $40, another guy spent $18 on me. It’s not about the amount of money, its about the company and having a good time.
If you have a good man in your life, whether he’s your significant other or a friend, what’s wrong with treating him every once in a while? If you have a male relative, you can do the same thing. Don’t date to put all your eggs in one basket. Date to have a good time and to be in the company of the opposite sex. Date to make a new friend.
This is one of the many reasons why I do not date or like the whole process of dating, because pretty much every guy that wants to take me out, is looking at the future and putting all of his eggs in one basket with me. It’s the same with women, on the first date, they are talking about marriage and important topics.
Those topics are not off limits, if you are having a casual conversation but when you direct it, at the person your with, then its time to call it a night. People now a days are forgetting to have fun in the moment. I remember when I was 24, I went to the movies with a friend of mine, and he parked the car and I went in to wait on line. The movie was about to start and I spontaneously paid for the tickets. When he got inside, he went to pay and I said I already paid and the look that was on his face, he was just shocked and blushing and said thank you. But he bought the food.
Relationships are about give and take.
The average woman,would have probably waited for him to pay for everything after he parked the car. But I’m not the average woman and there are some women (far and few in between) that will pay for something. The women I know don’t pay for shit! I’m like no wonder you are single. No man wants a woman, thats not generous or kind. I just wanted to have a good time and enjoy the movie, we were running late and thats a pet peeve of mine is being late, especially when I’m always on time and early. I wasn’t thinking this guy is ‘the one’.
If someone takes time out of their day, to spend time with me, drive, pay for gas and look nice and is a gentlemen, why not?? If you don’t like to pay for dinner, then once you get to know a guy, try cooking for him. Don’t be press for free meals, all the time and assessing what a guy can do for you financially.
Some women don’t even like a guy like that, they just want to go to a fancy restaurant and have a guy spend money on them. A friend of mine thinks I’m crazy for not having men take me out all the time. Her exact words to me verbatim was ” if I looked like you, as fine as you are, you should have a guy every night. Your phone should be ringing off the hook. I shouldn’t be able to reach you on a friday night or a saturday.”
I looked at her like she smoking that stuff…I thought what she said was utterly ridiculous! Then she continued to say, “you should find some nice places to go to, where they have good food”. And I said to her, is that what you do? She likes to eat out. I don’t. I’m very selective when I talk to people. I can’t deal with talking to, to many guys, that has never been my thing.
Another time I paid for a quick lunch with a guy because he was just an asshole and I paid the $10 and left. I didn’t want him to think I liked him. When going out with a guy, if you agree to a date, they automatically think you like them and that you want to take things further. This happens to me a lot, even if I never went out with a guy. One guy offered to take me out, then once he talked to me for a few days, decided he wanted me to be a step mother to his children, that I didn’t know he had LOL.
I ran for my life, lol…I have many horror stories that one would find amusing and so do I after all this time. I’m able to laugh at it. So go ahead and laugh and enjoy yourself!
Bottom line, there is nothing wrong with picking up the tab.. I’ll treat my female friends and I’ll treat my male friends (if I have any). But when it comes to men, I’m not looking at it like a “date” or somebody ‘I’m seeing” so it makes it easier for me to be show a kind gesture. Maybe if women looked at it like that then maybe they would pay.
Silence…I can hear you men now, are you serious?? Not gonna happen, lol. And people in hell want ice water right?!, LOL.. but don’t lose hope men.
I really do find it shocking that men say, they haven’t met a women that has ever paid for anything. No wonder these men try to lock me down right away, LOL. Ladies you gotta do better. Please stop being selfish with your money, because I’m tired of your significant other or your husband (pretending to be single) trying to date me or sleep with me (LOL) because they are not getting what they want at home.
Remember gratitude goes a long way and men are not ATM machines. Nor are they here for your leisure. They are human beings. People first, money second!