Many times in life when something goes wrong or even when something goes right or our way, we tend to say, “Damn! I wish this would have happened at this time, or why didn’t I meet you earlier and shoulda, coulda, woulda…
Some of us seriously need to stop this. If it was meant to happen it would have. Whatever happen to saying thank you and being in the moment?!
What about the lessons one has learned? The people they have met. How one has evolved? Theres are ebbs and flow in life and yes, one can always want more and to wish things into existence but life doesn’t work that way.
I’ve been growing through a lot of sh*t in my life lately, more than I care to mention and I’m like, ok God, what’s up, LOL?? But as quick as that pops up in my head, is as quick as it leaves and I just have to be still and be silent and listen.
We all want answers but sometimes there is none at the moment. Just lessons and sometimes the answers and lessons comes as a package deal, and it’s meant to be redeemed later on in life.
When the answer finally does come and you reflect and think back you can say, “ok, now I get it, I see what happened, now I understand” and you’ll know for next time.
Despite everything I’m going through, I have evolved in so many ways and discovered my love and passion for writing again, just by meeting someone new. When I turned 35 something just changed in me, I can’t really explain it but I felt born again.
I could exhale, surrender and didn’t have to be strong all the time. I could let down my guard a little and not be so stern.
Boy did It feel good to take off that protective armor. It was weighing me down. I was probably scaring off a lot of people and didn’t even know it, especially with my death stare or the way I cut my eyes, when I don’t want to be bothered.
People, men in particular, have always told me I look intimidating, until they talk to me and realize I’m not stuck up but I’m a sweet, calm, peaceful person, at least I think so :). But when I’m tired, I’m tired. I just don’t feel like talking, I feel like I have nothing to give.
I need to recharge, then I will be good to listen and respond and I can admit, yes I didn’t want to be bothered. Especially when it came to men. As soon as they look at me or say something, I’m like don’t even think about it.
I probably could have scared off a good guy, but I just wasn’t open to it. Not with all the stuff I’m going through. How could I add someone to my chaotic life, it wasn’t happening and to deal with their wants and needs. Who knows maybe by me taking the focus off myself, the help, the answers, and lessons I needed, could have come from someone I met.
It just takes a minute for me to open up and let someone get that close to me.
But overall, I knew that just because I was dealing with some things, that I was going to be ok. If something different would have happened in my life or if I would have been somewhere else, I would have never met the people that I met.
I’ve met people online that I feel I have known my whole life, that I feel very much close to and its all because, I let go of toxic relationships and asked God to bring new genuine souls in my life.
I was open to change and wanted to evolve and wanted to be seen and understood, because the people in my life were draining me, on all levels and it was time to do some spring, winter cleaning before the new year came in and to change my number.
I wanted to be around and connect with like minds. Other creative souls who had more to talk about than just materialistic things. I needed to connect with other HSPs other Introverts. More people who had more depth and wanted to express themselves and I got more than what I bargained for.
When I met Brenda Knowles I felt like I finally found another kindred spirit, my soul sister, who finally understood me as an HSP and Introvert. I read her words and I’m like are you in my head, LOL… Brenda and her blog has truly been a blessing to me. Words can not express, the gratitude I feel to have found her site and to befriend her.
Purely God sent! I honestly feel like the next guy I decide to be with, is going to need to refer to her blog in order to understand me, lol and introversion because to men (even female friends) take it personal when I want to be alone.
I recall my ex thinking I was cheating and he was following me, when I was simply sitting in the park listening to music. If I was cheating, it was with myself for some much needed solitude. It wasn’t another man. I wanted to hear my own thoughts. I remembered when I checked myself into a hotel for one night, just to be able to sleep alone and for some silence I was craving and he showed up.
I had a big WTF moment. I got tired of being awakened when I kept weird hours and his snoring was keeping me up. I never wanted to live with this guy and he just moved in on me. But anyway
Brenda always takes time, when she has time, to answer me back and others because she genuinely cares. She doesn’t have to, she wants to. And as much as I write, I genuinely appreciate when anyone reads what I write because some don’t. Its hard to find people like that…If you are not following her, you need to.
Yes! God does answer prayers. Because I recognized when they are answered, especially if it was something that I asked for, that was brought to me in the right timing. As humans we want what we want but no need to fret.
Life is happening as it should.
There’s no need to rush anything or try to control the outcome. Gods got this! Relax, breathe! Know that whatever you want will come to you, maybe even more than you expected.
Miracles happen all the time. Life has many blessings all the time, with people, with things you need and may even want and positions you want to be placed in. Waking up everyday is a blessing in itself.
Sometimes trying to control an outcome, you end up not getting what you wanted and things become even more complicated. I don’t have all the answers and no one does but I know that I have to have faith and just hold on to it.
Nothing bad last forever.
We tend to believe in things we see and not what we can’t see, but the best things that happen in our lives, is when we have faith. When we wish our lives away and have doubts, we are saying we don’t have faith, that we don’t believe.
We must know that words are powerful and so is our vibration.
I’m grateful for the ups and downs, the different turns in life, what I thought I wanted that I didn’t get, bullets that have been dodged… because it was truly for my greater good. It has led me to new experiences, it has helped me evolve and it has led me to new people and I wouldn’t change that for anything.
My life will never be the same, with the new souls that have stepped into my life to help me along my journey. I hope they never leave.
For that I say thank you God!