The Need For Anonymity In A Public World

We live in a world of social media where privacy seems to be falling by the sidelines. So how does one, keep their anonymity in a public world especially with social media, where people want to know more about you.  How do you share and gain a following while still being incognito?!

I get asked all the time, why don’t I have my picture up? To be more social. Why aren’t you in the public eye? Someone wanted to use my face to attract readers. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the whole purpose of the blog, is to express oneself and it should be about the content and sharing information. Not wether or not you have a nice face, that has nothing to do with the subject.

I’m a very opinionated woman and when I respond to comments or post an article, I get a barrage of emails, with men wanting to know what I look like. When I express myself, the main focus should be what I’m saying, not how I look. My blog and comments is not a dating site for a man to find the woman of his dreams.

I understand we live in a world, where we could expose ourselves in more ways than one, but why would one want to do that. Some people want to be famous, they’ll take their 5-15 minutes of fame. They want their voice to be heard, regardless of what they are saying. They want to attract more people. Look at reality TV, these people have no talent and yet they are making money while, people who can really act, struggle to get a role. As long as you are willing to make a fool of yourself, theres a platform for it.

I struggle with my need for privacy because I have dreams of being a very accomplished writer one day and I love the arts but I’m more of a behind the scenes person. It’s pretty much and oxymoron to be in a creative field and want privacy. I believe I can accomplish that one day. Very few people know what I look like. Others don’t and I want to keep it that way.

I never wanted to be in the spotlight, for anything. In this day in age, when people know your name, they can google you and find out about you and even worse where you live. This is why I opted out of a life of being an actress. I enjoyed the craft of acting when I was in school and even did some off-off broadway theater. But it was a just a way to express myself.

I never liked the politics and business of the entertainment industry. If I was a famous actress it would be hard for people to get any type of information out of me. And when you are in the public eye, it becomes more about who you are dating, and how much money you make, rather than the craft. There are other ways to be in entertainment, without being in the spotlight.

The last time I was on T.V. I  completely forgot there was an audience, when I came out to model. I had tunnel vision and zeroed in on the stylist and the host and completely blocked the audience out, as if it was blocking on a movie set. I just came out showed off my outfit and walked off. After the show aired I got recognized and it just made me a bit uncomfortable and everyone was staring, I couldn’t even ride the train without people staring.

I remembered when I did a local commercial and I got recognized and men started coming into my place of employment following me, I had to call a friend of mine to come pick me up, I didn’t feel safe with men parked outside, making a scene eventually I had to leave. Someone recognized me at a hotel a few months ago and mentioned it so loud and everyone looked, trying to figure out who I was. Here I am checking in and there are men behind me, this person could have put my life in danger, because people can follow you, especially when you are alone. I didn’t feel safe.

Had I continued in that line of work. I couldn’t imagine giving up my privacy. No amount of money is worth it. Thats to much of a big sacrifice to make. I’m not the only one who has a passion for the arts, but would love to omit the fame and people delving into my personal life. When people see you on TV all of a sudden you are larger than life. You’re no longer looked at as a human being. People think your life is bigger than what it is, just because you are in front of the camera, and they can’t be anymore wrong.

Instead of focusing on just the art, they want to know more about your personal life and who you are dating. Social media has made it easy for people to target artist, that they don’t know and harass them. People have free will to say whatever they want and they abuse that privilege. I remember when social media first started, it was a way to share your art, reach the fans, especially for independent artist, to network, to encourage others with positive quotes and to connect with like minds.

Now that’s where people get there news and daily gossip, and people tend to believe everything they read and see on social media. People revel in gossip and they put their whole life on display for people to see. Some people have no filter. They are addicted to social media. When sharing comments or pictures you have to be careful. I posted a picture and took it down within minutes and someone saved it and I got an anonymous email from a woman asking how do I know her boyfriend. I had no clue who this person was. The dumb ass saved it to his phone. This is not the first time this has happened.

There are also websites out there that if an ex cheats, you can post their picture up there, for the world to see and slander them, however you like. A woman started this website and I saw her on a talk show talking about this. The website has thousands of women on there posting pictures of an ex or some guy that cheated on his wife or girlfriend. These women don’t care how this makes them look, they are airing out their dirty laundry for the world to see and they don’t care about these peoples families, they are scorned and want revenge.

People don’t respect peoples privacy anymore. You say or do the wrong thing to someone and all of your business is on social media and its never really deleted, nothing is. Even artist air out their own dirty laundry. It’s not even about the music or movies anymore. One has to decide is this the life they want, when they want to share their talents with the world. I can’t see myself coming home and someone is hiding in the bushes waiting for me, because they are obsessed. I would have to change my whole life if I ever got that well known.

It’s great when you have people’s attention and use that platform to reach millions and bring awareness to social issues but that’s a lot to deal with. Theres much to be sacrificed. “To whom much is given, much is required” A lot to think about.

What are your thoughts on keeping your privacy in this day of social media and with sharing your gifts and talents?


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