It’s Ok To Be Afraid.. But At Least Admit It…

Love is the one thing that we all want right??… but do we really know what it means to really love someone.…Or have someone really love us….flaws bad habits and all. If you’re afraid to love, then thats ok, but at least admit it… don’t blame the other person…Or maybe you don’t know you’re afraid until you do some soul searching….Maybe the timing is not right for whatever reason for you to have the love that you want…. A lot of people want to get married but once your married then what? Do you really know what it is to be a partner in life. Do you know how you want to help the other person grow? what are you bringing to the table, I’m not talking about a degree and a salary range…what can you offer this other person…

I know plenty of married people who got married because of societal pressure and because they wanted a baby and a man…then after the vows, they are miserable.. you can not go into a relationship with a list of your wants and needs and unspoken expectations and then when they are not met, you get upset and change your mind and decide you don’t want to do this marriage thing anymore… Some guys want a ride or die chick and women want a man to die supporting them…. when you enter someone’s life, you have to have a plan and know why you are there, other wise you are just taking up space..

I know a lot of people that as soon as their significant other loss their job or something bad happened. They were out…I’m like damn! What happened to sticking by your man??? What happen to I got us.. these women could not have had another man any more quicker… And the crazy thing is, I hear the male bashing, oh this so and so don’t have a job, well bye….I need a man who can take care of me.. everything was going fine when he had a job, but as soon as the money ran out. It was a different story….But if you have a job, why can’t you carry him until he gets back on his feet? You don’t even know how long he might be out of work, but you panic. That to me makes no sense. I was on the opposite end of this, Yes this can happen to women too! I was shocked especially when I been there.

You have men that don’t appreciate a good woman, who will really have his back, even if it means sacrificing something she needs, so he can have and you have women, who don’t appreciate a good man who works hard to provide and take of her and his family… When I hear these women complain. I say to myself, who married you? lol….what man wants to come home to that???

Now a days people are not marrying for love, because they have been brainwashed to think that if you marry for love, you’re stupid because they say love don’t pay the rent.. No shit sherlock…tell us something we don’t know.. this is why you have to be fully cognizant of what and why you want to be in someone else’s life and what you can build together… you can’t leave it up to one person and then when shit don’t go right in your time frame, you’re ready to leave… How many times do you hear women say, I was blindsided by an affair or that my man was unhappy, then when they see the woman he’s with and what she has going on and how they complement each other, then they want revenge. No sweetheart, you have to see the part you played in that.

Relationships and love is always tested when you go through hard times… the same with friendships, you see who really has your back and who really loves you… These men that were dropped by these women, they were good guys, they just ended up with the wrong woman who couldn’t be there for them…this is the reason why some men don’t want to get married. I don’t blame them. Look at the way women treat men, the judicial system, if a woman stays married for a decade, she can get half, or if she can prove his infidelity… look how divorce always works out in a woman’s favor and even with the custody of the kids. The media portrays men in a negative light and its not always the man, its these money hungry scandalous women.

People are always shocked when I mention how long I’ve been single.. it shouldn’t be a shock, but I know what I want and its not much, not only that I know what I have to offer the other person.. I’m not going to waste some ones time just because. It really isn’t that hard to figure out…if you have nothing to contribute to my life in anyway then theres no need for us to be together…I seem to be Bonnie, but when it comes to wanting love, and a life partner, where’s my clyde at?? Some of us are so afraid to be open, we sabotage the very thing we want. We’ve all been hurt, but if pain can be a gift or blessing in disguise if we use it to learn and grow…. Not everyone is lucky enough to end up with the love they want, you have a lot of settling going on.

I get swamped with emails and read comments from women who are desperate for love and they are even giving up on men…The problem is not the man, its you… Women end up in toxic relationships, then blame the man and cry all men are dogs…. its a sad day in time… when you feel like there are no good men, so now you start keeping your options open to be with the same sex…..if thats what you want fine..I’m not judging… but if it isn’t be honest…..Some of us only want to be with someone when things are good. Some care about someones status in life and not their heart. When I hear people talk about relationships, the first thing that comes out a woman’s mouth is what a guy has….I rarely ever hear them talk about what they need to be taken cared of emotionally or spiritually or how they can complement this mans life.

I’m not leaving the men out, because you have some men that want a woman to be docile… they have a list of what they want and they don’t care what the woman wants or needs… Both sexes are not asking the right questions at all, internally and externally…. You have millions of people on this planet and yet, people say there are not that many choices…what you put out into the universe thats what you will attract…There was a time in my life, that I kept meeting libra men…I could spot them a mile away…..I  mean I would meet them everywhere… sometimes 2 or 3 in one day and several in a week.. you would think that was the only zodiac sign on the planet…. it got to the point I was like god really?!!!!!

But there was a reason why I kept meeting libra men and they always had 5 kids or more by several different women… My father is a libra…until I had a conversation with him and forgave him, I stopped meeting libra men, thank god, lol…it didn’t fix our relationship but I had this, belief deep in my subconscious that all men are whores…lol and couldn’t be faithful… And there was some wife/girl and kids he was hiding and thats exactly who I met….I thought it was them, but it was really me…some one even asked me, who is a libra in my life and I was like my father…

Maybe there is something buried deep in your subconscious that you are not dealing with…thats preventing you from having the love that you desire…do you love yourself?? Some of us don’t, maybe theres work you have to do, before you can be an addition to someone else’s life…When you work on yourself and love yourself and connect with god.. the love that you want is possible. but its not going to come from someone else… A person can love you all they want and give you the world,….. but if we don’t love ourself, its not going to last… We all know people that are in a relationships and they are love deprived, lonely and feel loss but yet they are with someone for the sake of being with someone, because according to them, somebody is better than nobody.

Just remember, its ok to be afraid, but admit it. Both men and women process new feelings differently…Its ok to want love, but first you have to be love. heal your heart before you get into a new relationship. Don’t make the other person pay for the previous man/womans mistakes. Its not fair and everyone is different. I get so tired of men throwing their previous experience on me. that’s a turn off and that shows that he’s not healed. If I mention something I don’t like, I don’t like it with both parties, like I hate, when people are late or inconsistent.. It makes it seem like you are not important enough for them to be mindful or your time. Or people who don’t keep their word. Then when you don’t trust them, they act like its you and not them. Just remember to work on yourself. You don’t want love to elude you, because you are not healed.

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