Why I Never Want To Be Equal To A Man In A Relationship

softA relationship is like a dance, one has to lead and the other one has to follow.

When it comes to a relationship and even in life. For me, I don’t want to be equal to a man in any way. I hear a lot of women talk about being equal to men and feminism and all that stuff.

That has nothing to do with a relationship or a family. The only way I’m equal to a man is that, I’m a human being just like him. Other than that, I’m a woman.

I don’t have cojones….I don’t act like a man. I look nothing like a man. I don’t sound like a man. I’m calm, peaceful, soft, delicate and nurturing. The way a woman should be. I’m feminine. I’m a woman. I love being a woman.

God made men the way he made men and women, the way he made women. He didn’t make men to be feminine and he didn’t make women to be masculine. I see a lot of women struggling to be feminine.

We’ve all seen those women that start to morph into men, one minute they look like a lady, next they look like a man. To much testosterone. We live in a society where people are just confused, some men want to be women and some women want to be men. Some want to be both.

And for the men who want to actually be men in their relationship and even in their household, it’s becoming more and more of a problem, because their woman wants the final say. The woman wants to lead.

For women to be women, it’s becoming a problem too, because women have to step up and become both male and female. So they feel that in a relationship they want equality. Relationships fail because men are not leading and they are fighting for equality.

We need to stop telling women to be like men in society. If women want to be equal to men, then everything that men do, women should do it too. If you want a chivalrous man, then you be the same way. You court and chase him. You buy him gifts on the holidays, you buy him an engagement ring.

You pay for the wedding and the build the house. If you want a man, to make six figures, then you make six figures. If you want a man to have a degree, then you get a degree too. If you want a man to please you the way you want in bed. Then you please him the way he wants in bed. If you want him to take out the trash and fix things around the house, then you do the same thing.

Sh*t don’t stop there, if you want to be equal to your man, then go get a sex change and have a penis. Yeah, I went there. Where his clothes too, be androgynous….I get of tired of women complaining about good men, about what they should have and what they should do, and how they should do it and everything has to be equal and nag, nag, nag, nag, nag. Shut the hell up already!

You can’t have it both ways. If you want him to be a man, let him be a man. If you want a happy relationship and eventually want to get married and have kids. You are going to have to let your man lead and let him be a man, if he’s a good man, and stop worrying about being his equal and who’s right or wrong in the relationship.

All couples have disagreements but it’s not about whose right or who’s wrong. If you don’t trust your man, as your leader, then you mind as well stay single. At some point, you are going to have to relinquish control. My last two relationships, I hated the fact that the I had to tap into masculine energy. I hated being taken out of my feminine nature, when all I wanted to do was be the woman of the house.

I hated when I had to raise my voice because I felt threatened. I hated when I had to provide and protect as if I was a man, because these men got lazy on me. I recognized when I was tapping too much into masculine energy and my relationships eventually ended. This wasn’t always the case, in the beginning, what I was attracted to was their spiritual side, their wisdom, their experience, their intellectual side.

I felt I could learn from them. I felt they could guide me, but they got tired of being men and checked out. I just wanted for these men to make me feel safe. I wanted for once for them to say, I got this, baby don’t worry about it. I’ll bring the groceries in and just hold the door. I hated that I had to make all the decisions about everything, from food to money, the running of my own home.

To life goals and plans. I couldn’t get help or any guidance and it pissed me off to no end, because my independence and who I am was used against me, instead of complementing who I was. I said f*ck this sh*t, I can do bad all by myself.

I don’t want an effeminate man in any way, that I can wrap around my finger and control. I want a man to lead me, not control me. I want a man who knows his role in a relationship and who is strong. I need a man to act like he has some fucking cojones.

I want a man to defend me, if he sees harm coming my way. I shouldn’t have to do that for the both of us. I don’t want a man who spends more time in the mirror than I do, when I’m out in 20 minutes or less. I don’t want a lazy man who refuses to step up.

I want a man who knows God and knows how to manage things. Men are in managerial roles for a reason. They can handle the stress. Their system is built for it. I don’t care about having equal pay when it comes to men. That’s not why I was born to prove how equal, I can be to a man in society or in a relationship.

I’m ok with my supportive role as a woman. Supporting him behind the scenes. I thrive there. One of my old jobs, I was happy to do the catering and setting up for meetings and decorating for the executives. I was happy to set the table. It made me feel good that I was able to help. Women are just more domesticated than men.

We give birth, we nurture. Men build houses, women decorate them. It’s not sexist. Men care about the decor of their home too. But Men don’t do stuff like that. They don’t care about table settings, thread count with sheets or silverware.  At work I never felt like a slave, weak or subservient at my job. A woman’s energy is needed in the workplace.

Even in the workplace, men want to feel at home. When the executives arrived and I took their coats and offered them something to drink and was attentive, it made them relax instead of being so hard. I actually got a smile out of them, lol. During and after the meetings, they felt secure coming up to me asking me for help.

I never gave them the side eye or an attitude. My job was to be hospitable. I’ve worked around a lot of men and I see how relieve they are when a woman walks in and her energy is there. They are more relaxed and calm. They let down their guard. My supportive role was to make sure my boss’s meeting and dinner went well, and to have my feminine energy there.

The men complimented how nice I was and how things were set up. Men know when feminine energy is in their presence. It’s a turn off when women want to be men. I get turned off when I see my female friends act like men. And they wonder why they are single. When a man is masculine, It allows me to be feminine.

It allows me to be a woman to trust him. I’m not a doormat if I choose to serve a man a home cooked meal, when he comes home. If he buys the groceries I’ll make the meal. Or that his clothes are cleaned and ironed or if he’s tired and I leave him alone. Or if I see he’s tensed, I give him a massage.

What is wrong with that? I’m not worried about having my way or letting my ego get involved, because I don’t have one. I want to be loved, adored, appreciated but it goes both way. I’m not interested in what kind of car a man drives or how many degrees he has. What the f*ck is that going to do for me, if you can’t treat me right or be a man.

A degree, house or car, doesn’t equal a happy life. That’s all external. I’ve witness my friends turn down solid men, because they don’t have a degree or the salary that they desire and it’s freaking pathetic. I know not all women are like this but for the most part some are.

I hear how unhappy these men are in their relationships and they want out, they want a feminine woman. It doesn’t matter what her education or her salary is, they want a woman who is going to be down for them and have their back and support them and appreciate them.

Not try to be equal to them or run the relationship. It’s not about “happy wife, happy life” It’s not about being manipulative so you can get your way or have a man buy you something. How about trying….give and take, and trusting and loving and having faith in one another.

When you love someone, you do things for them. It’s not about keeping tabs about what you did days, months or years ago. A relationship based on God, love and trust is not about, ok, I got this ring, now you’re my servant or giving ultimatums.

If your significant other has done something that you don’t like, there is a way to express yourself without raising your voice or talking down to him as if he’s stupid. Your man is not a child. Men pay attention to how women say things and if your tone is out of line, it doesn’t matter whether or not he agrees with you.

He will mentally check out. Some times men don’t think about things, that women think about, but through effective communication, he can assess your wants and needs and what’s important to you. As hard and as masculine as men are, they still need the comfort of a woman too. There can’t be two dominate personalities in a relationship. It will never work.

Women claim they want a dominate male to take charge and to be a man, but he can’t be a man, if you don’t let him and you’re worried about being his equal in every way. Even in same-sex relationships, there is yin and yang. The only thing that makes them equal is gender.

All men, whether they want to admit it or not, like women who are submissive in a sense. Men like rescue and feel needed. Men have egos, they just do and they want a woman who strokes it. It makes them feel good and appreciated. I’ll genuinely compliment a guy and care about their feelings.

I take a genuine interest in what they do and who they are and they are ready to take care of me, and buy a ring within minutes, LOL…because it’s not something men get all the time. When I see what men deal with and how hard it is to be a man. There is no way in hell, I would want to be equal to a man in any way. I’m so glad I was born a woman.

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