That List You Have Of The Perfect Person Doesn’t Exist

I know darling… and all this time you thought it did, but it doesn’t so throw it out. Yes, throw it out. You don’t need it. You never needed. If you had a list, the only thing ‘this list” did, was hold you back, from being open and finding and keeping the love that you want.

On our quest for love, some of us could have a list so long that, that we don’t recognize when love finally shows up. There’s nothing wrong with having standards. Everyone has an idea of the type of person, they want to be with and we need to, or else we will just end up with anybody.

But some of us, have an unrealistic list so long, that no human being can ever measure up to it. If you want the perfect mate, you mind as well become a scientist and plastic surgeon and create the perfect person of your dreams. Because that’s the only way, you will ever have the perfect person that you want.

When it comes to looking for love. The list that most people have, especially women do not exist. Why do some women have an external list, of the things they want instead of what they need in a man. Let’s keep it real, a woman’s list is longer than a man’s list. It just is. Some of the things that women require. Is just flat out ridiculous!

They want a ready made man. No man is ready made. Everything is external. Women think that if they don’t have this list, that they are settling. Some women require a man to be educated, (Nothing wrong with that, but a man can be smart in other ways) one or two degrees, (a degree doesn’t mean that you are a match made in heaven, theres no guarantee, a man wants to get married or have child just because he’s educated) a certain kind of car, house, salary.

A man should be a certain height, to the T, his physique, the way he walks, his voice. etc. There’s nothing wrong with wanting someone who is easy on the eyes. If someone has some extra weight on them, you two can work out and get healthy together. But that’s not all there is to someone. Whatever happen to falling in love with someones, soul? Having a nice personality? Getting to know who they are before you write them off?

Becoming friends first, which is the foundation for any relationship that requires love. 

Nowhere in this list did I hear about the type of man, he should be as far as his character. All I hear is about what he should have and look like. Men do this too. Men have considered me “attractive” and thats all they are focused on and the fact that I love to cook. That doesn’t mean we are a match made in heaven and it’s time to ride off into the sunset. Let’s have a conversation first, find out if I like you, If I want what you want. How about that?!

Looks can be deceiving. 

I’ve met some attractive men in the past who had money, nice car and you know what, they were complete assholes. The list above, maybe someone else would have wanted them but not me. They knew they were attractive and they wanted everyone else to know it too. There was no humility. I’m not impressed with external and materialistic things. That’s not part of my list. I don’t need a man that looked like he stepped off the runway.

I’d rather ride the subway with someone who treats me good and has a nice personality and spirit, who has potential and is ambitious. I dated a guy who didn’t have a car and neither did I, but he eventually got one. I didn’t cast him off, because he rode the train or took the bus. I rode it too! I was no better than he was.

At one point he was making $10 an hour, but it was a job and he stayed in that position for 4 months until he got a better job, he eventually saved up and got a car. I knew he wasn’t going to be a detailer forever. It didn’t matter that I was making more money than him. Any other woman would have probably wrote him off but I saw the potential and believed in him.

I don’t have a superiority complex, that in order to be with me, you have to have these things or else we’re not going to make it. I’m not marrying a car, house, money, shoes, clothes or electronics. I’m marrying a human being that will love me the way I need to be loved. Love should be not be based off  material possessions. 

When it comes to a list of requirements, men are very simple and direct with what they want in a woman.  I sometimes wonder, was there a secret meeting that some women, got together and had and voted about men and what they should have and I missed it?! Like the whole thing about you have to be engaged and married by 30 and have a baby. Who came up with that??? Then if it doesn’t happen, your life is over. Really!! If you’re 35 and older, you’re over the hill?!! Come on!!!

As a woman I don’t understand, I really don’t. If I’m missing out on something please enlighten me. I think the reason why women think this way, is because they think that they have to be desirable to men, all the time at a certain age, or else no one is going to want them. But men are quite simple. The majority of most men are more than willing to be everything they can be, for that one special woman, but the woman has to see the potential and believe in him.

Ok, so he doesn’t make six figures or he’s not millionaire. That doesn’t mean he never will be. But NEWS FLASH!!! Neither are you…If you want a man that’s a millionaire, you become one too. Or how about you two become millionaires together?! That’s a nice thought, isn’t it?! I think it is.

The real list should be the goals and plans that two people have together. If Men required women to have all of the above. They wouldn’t even hear of it. A man shouldn’t be pressured to carry most of the listed weight, just because he’s a man. You never know how love is going to show up. It might come from the person that you least expect.

God has someone for everyone…. but if all you are focused on is this list, then you are never going to find the love that you want and desire. You might find a good looking guy, that has a lot of money, but he’s not spiritual, there is no chemistry. He may be horrible in bed. He may be abusive, he might be a player. You might find a beautiful woman but the two of you may not be compatible. She just might want you for your money and that’s it.

There are a lot of nice guys out there that want exactly what women want.  But one mustn’t be picky and there are a lot of good women out there, that men are passing up on too, because they are so focused on the physical. Two people must be open and see past what a person looks like at some point, because lets face it, we are not getting any younger, all of our looks will fade one day.

Our weight will fluctuate at some point. All the beauty products and plastic surgery in the world, will not keep us young forever. We are not immortal but love is. Love is everlasting! Everyone on this planet has attractive qualities about themselves, that someone will eventually see and want someday. Beauty or being attractive is in the eye of the beholder.

So if you have this list, please throw it away. Rip that sh*t up, burn it! LOL… clear that mental list in your head too. Think about what really matters to you, in a loving partner. The answer doesn’t lie in what someone has. It lies in their heart and spirit.

There is no such thing as the perfect person, but two people can be perfect together.



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