When it comes to love, some of us think that just because we are of a certain age, that love is never going to happen for us again. Fear creeps in the older we get…Some of us have never really experienced the love that we truly desire. We think, is it ever going to happen? I’m tired of being alone. Why is it taking so long?
No need to fret, love can happen at any age. This is really nothing new. I know for me, it so much easier to work on yourself and get to know who you are, before you end up in a relationship. You can’t find yourself in another human being. They’re only a reflection. It’s better to be alone than settle because you feel lonely. You can be with someone and feel alone.
You have to truly love yourself first if you want true love.
I caught a small interview with the singer Brian McKnight talking about, how at the age of 46, he said he’s experiencing, really truly being in love for the very first time. This comes after an early marriage at the age of 20, being married for 12 years and two children. Some of us know this all to well. But it’s just confirmation that it can happen to anyone even artist at any age.
I was listening to Allen McNeils song, “I Don’t Need Nobody” and that song resonated with me. It’s a sad song but at the same time, as he’s singing “I don’t need nobody, it seems like everyone I love walked away.” I felt that way….the artist feels he’s not good enough to have the love that he wants. And why can’t he get this love thing right?? And why does love seem to be so elusive. You know that he does need love, he’s just heart broken at the moment, because he gave his all and got played.. This woman had him “living in disney land”. We all feel like that when someone deceives us and plays with our heart.
When we go through a heart break, it is so very necessary. It helps us grow. Its helps us learn what we want and do not want in our next relationship. What we are willing to compromise on and what we are not willing to compromise on. It’s so easy to blame another person, when a relationship fails, but we must be willing to, set our ego aside, take responsibility for the relationship failing and what we put up with, even if we don’t see it that way, no matter how much we loved and gave. Regardless of who ended it first. But when you love someone and you put in time, you try to make it work.
No relationship is easy, but it should not have to feel like a second job that you can’t stand.
I know for me, in my last relationship, I was simply doing to much. I was, and the person I was with LET ME…I made his life easy and he made mines a living hell. It’s not that what I was doing was wrong, it was just that what I was doing, was for the wrong person, who took advantage of my generosity and did not appreciate me. I was so use to giving and my ability, for me to keep the peace in my own home, backfired on me big time and it cost me financially too.
I gave to much and I carried the relationship and I never planned to. I ended it but I should have ended it a long time ago. I sacrificed my own happiness and what I wanted and I didn’t even realize it. But what I am so grateful for, is that it made me a stronger person. It made me realize that I deserve love and support and to be love the way that I need. And that I don’t have to sacrifice or lose myself in the process.
Love is suppose to make you a better person, not a bitter person.
I’m also grateful that God also had me go through those trials, with that person and that I didn’t have to be with many men to learn my lessons. Some of us, never learn our lesson and we end up in many failed relationships wondering why we can never get it right. I sometimes wonder did I waste my best years on my last two relationships, will this make me not want to love again??
I know that’s fear talking and I must stop letting fear live in my head rent free.
I’ll admit I’m really apprehensive about giving love a try again, especially when it comes to living with someone. Because I don’t want the person in my life to hold me back in any way. I don’t want to feel suffocated in any way. Relationships can be great but they can also hold you back, if you are with the wrong partner that is not supportive and loving.
It’s ok to be a late bloomer, when it comes to love if you are of a certain age.. Age is just a number. It can happen at any moment. Miracles of love happen all the time, when you least expect it. I’m very hopeful and excited that the next time, I decide to give love a try again. I’ll recognize the kind of love I need, because I love myself first and know that love is suppose, to make you a better person and that love does not hurt.
The next soul I decide to share my life with, will appreciate the me that the last guy didn’t. They will see me for me and love me for me, and not see me as a convenience because of personal gain. The next soul I’m with doesn’t have to put up with the baggage, that the last guy put me through. My heart will be healed. We’ll get to fully experience, what it truly means to share our life with one another, because we actually want to not because we have to.
We’ll enjoy loving one another and support each other, because we want to be better versions of ourselves. I get to make a brand new start and I can’t help but get excited, about how God is going to bless me with a new love 🙂 I pray that you have faith that God will bless you with love too! I hope you know that you deserve it and that you are so worth it!