Are Women In Love With The Idea Of Marriage or Do They Really Just Want a Wedding?

article-2160909-13a92832000005dc-603_634x548I came across an article with a woman talking about, she ended her relationship with her man after six months of dating….. because he didn’t want to give her the wedding of her dreams. It didn’t matter that she had a good man, she wanted a wedding. She put major pressure on him after only six months. Yeah only six months…wow!

It’s no secret men feel pressured to pop the question all the time by SOME women. We all know that weddings are for women, they just are…look at the shows that are geared towards women… “Bridezillas, Say Yes To The Dress, My Four Weddings, I found The Gown”.

It’s no secret that a lot of women have a fantasy, about what their wedding day will be like. You hear some women say all the time, “I have been dreaming about this day ever since I was a little girl”. When you are a little girl, you have no idea what marriage entails. Your mind can’t conceive of it. But women are not thinking about marriage, they are thinking about the big gala. It’s been engrained in their heads and you can blame Disney for that.

Weddings to me, are some big lavish day, where a woman wants to be a princess and be envied by everyone. It’s proves to woman a woman, that someone chose me, out of all the other women on the planet. “I got the ring, I got the man”. There’s this thing going on, on Pinterest, where women are planning their wedding day without a groom. They have a future wedding board without a man. How do you plan a wedding without even having someone special in your life? Wedding planning is a big business and it’s all aimed at women. Corporations play on women’s mind, that they have to have these things. The most expensive food, flowers, dress, venue etc.

Some women are clearly in love with the idea of marriage, and most of all they want a wedding, they just do. They plan for months even years. They’ll go broke over that one day. Weddings are like an orgasm, they don’t last long, lol. It’s a high at the moment but then it’s over…ok maybe that wasn’t a great analogy but it sounded funny in my head. Anyway… I remember looking at “bridezillas” a few years ago when it came out and this one lady, the way she was acting, I felt so sorry for her husband to be. He looked liked he wanted to back out but couldn’t. He realized right then and there, that this woman was going to cost him.

I personally think weddings are a waste of money, they just are. To spend thousands of dollars on one day, is just crazy to me. I don’t know if I will ever get married, but IF I did, I will not be having a wedding. I’m to frugal to have a wedding, LOL. If I could get ordained and marry me and my husband, I probably would, lol…. I’m the type to get married at the courthouse or in my own backyard, decorate it myself and make the food myself, LOL….. with just a few special loved ones around as witnesses. The reception will be in my living room and I’ll probably be the DJ too! Don’t laugh, lol…ok…..go ahead but I’m serious though :).

I still can’t get over my friend spending $300 on dinner, lol… oh back to what I was saying….Money spent on a wedding could go on a down payment on a house, or my dream kitchen. If a couple plans on having a child or two, that money can be used on them because kids are expensive. That money will definitely come in handy once, two people start their lives together. If you plan on sending your child to college, you can buy a savings bond or put that money away in a college fund.

I just think weddings are pointless, they just are. You don’t have to agree with me. But we all know it’s true that some women, want a man just to get engaged and to start planning their wedding. After 3 dates, they are asking where is this going? They are ready to change their relationship status on Facebook. I know these types of people…it’s all about what they want. A wedding shower, a baby shower, free gifts. Women want an expensive engagement ring. A friend of mine told me he spent 4k on an engagement ring, I said to him, they didn’t have anything less expensive or cubic zirconia, LOL.

He busted out laughing at me. I was so serious. 4k on an engagement ring?? That’s to much money…I’m not a jewelry person, so that would be a waste of money for me. It’s not about the cost of the ring, it’s about the love that you share with someone. I remember when I dumped my ex and he bought me an engagement ring. I told him to get his money back. I don’t know why he did such a stupid thing. I was not getting married at 24 any way.  I’m not one of those women where you flash a piece of jewelry, in my face and that’s suppose to solve everything. Men have been trying to marry me for years, especially when they hear I love to cook, lol…

I’ve seen this gesture on TV to many times, a man fucks up, then buys a ring and the woman forgets, what he did and she is happy they are engaged and now she can start planning her wedding. Some women associate the cost of something with the love. It’s like they are marrying the engagement ring, dress, and wedding of their dreams and not the man of their dreams. After the wedding and the honeymoon is over, and real life sets in that’s the part that they do not want to deal with. Then they start to realize that this is no disney movie. The fantasy quickly fades. One thing you will never hear men talking about is a wedding. You never hear men talking about, I’ve been waiting for my wedding all my life, it’s always women.

Now there is nothing wrong if you desire to get married, but you must be clear on why you want to get married. It’s shouldn’t be about some lavish day with just anybody.

Someone I know said to me “I was almost 27 and I was starting to wonder, who was going to marry me and when I was going to have a baby and I had to marry the first jerk who asked me”  I asked her did she love him and she said “No, I don’t think I’ll ever love anybody but I can try”. And this is a few months after knowing him. 3 kids later, still with the same man and she still does not love him. But she is determined to make the marriage work, to have what she didn’t have growing up, to give her kids a two parent household. But there is no love. Children can sense this. I couldn’t marry someone after a few months or because I got pregnant.

Her husband has no dreams or goals, he’s perfectly fine with working his minimum wage job. She wants a house, he’s not even thinking about buying a house. So this person is holding her back. Scenarios like this should not be happening, just to say “I got the ring, he chose me”. Women keep thinking that a ring defines them and it doesn’t. Marriage is a commitment and it’s about building your life with someone. Marriage is not a big party or some fantasy. A wedding doesn’t defined who you are or how the rest of the marriage will be. It takes works. All couples should get premarital counseling.

Get married because you are actually in love, and you believe in the covenant of marriage, not because you want a big party and then you say “it’s my day, it’s only one day, that only comes around once in a life time”. With the way divorce rates are going, I’m pretty sure, this day will come around again. You’re right it is “your” day. Because I guarantee you, men are not thinking about weddings. They’ll do away with it if they could, just like holidays. A man is just waiting at the end of the isle, for their bride to come down.

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7 thoughts on “Are Women In Love With The Idea Of Marriage or Do They Really Just Want a Wedding?

    • You can clearly see that the bride to be, cares more about her wedding than her husband to be, then when they do an update, you find out they are divorced some of them…divorce rates are high, because people are not marrying each other for the right reasons. The way our ancestors got married, they were married in each others minds and hearts first, there was no big gala event. People fought to get married and because they loved each other and wanted a family, now it’s about the dress and the ring and stuff that have nothing to do with marriage but an event. And somehow these things, make a woman feel special but it’s fleeting. I saw this movie, where this woman was always getting engaged for a ring and having wedding showers, just so she can get stuff, but she felt so empty inside. She finally found a good man, that she wanted to marry her, that she didn’t have to force to be engaged and she couldn’t keep him and he really loved her. I forgot the name of it, but good movie thought, because it shows you just how ‘some’ women are. They really do value money and material possessions when it comes to a man. I saw this quote that said “a man is not a financial plan” lol it’s true!

      Liked by 1 person

      • HAHA
        More like show me your wallet kinda thing!
        so sad…
        the divorce rates are so high its scary…
        marriages don’t last even five years…
        There is a series am watching based on the 1800’s… its called ‘When Calls the Heart..’ its pretty dope and shows you the basis of how love should be. simple and free…literally!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Cool, I’ll look into it…marriage has become one big joke to some, they think, ok lets do it, because this is the next phase and they think “ok we’re suppose to do it” without giving it any thought. Some people treat marriage like a credit card with perks. Like “oh if I get married, I can get a house, the baby, gifts, my husband will put me on a pedal stool every day and life will be this big fantasy. Some women have experienced severe depressing after getting married and having a child, even some men. Marriage shouldn’t feel like a prison or if you’re going to the electric chair, lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Indepth woman, I must say, it is really refreshing to read this type of article. I’m reluctant to ask my girlfriend to marry me, I do love her but I see that she is more interested in the wedding than us spending our lives together. She already picked out her ring and dress and those 2 items alone are close to 8thousand dollars. Her dad spoiled her and I think she expects me to do the same. I should have known how materialistic she was when I saw her shoe closet. She’s a good woman, but she loves money and loves to spend and doesn’t think about the future. I guess I fell for her beauty and brains and overlooked how much she spends and how much I spend on her. Every time I want to save, it’s a problem and we argue. So now I’m torn, I know this is my fault. You said cubic zirconia, LOL..

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi L.B.,Thank you for your compliment and I’m glad you got a laugh out of it, even though I was serious about that cubic zirconia, LOL….Walmart got rings too, lol :)..just saying….Anyway, I’m sorry you are have reservations about asking your girlfriend to marry you. You sound like a real decent guy. But if you are feeling this way then, you should go with how you feel and express your concerns to your girlfriend. Hopefully she’ll understand. That is a large amount of money on just two items and how is it that she picked out the ring already, before you even had a chance to buy it or even propose. Sounds like she so sure you’re going to ask.

      I’m glad you see the part you played in this, and I’m sure you want nothing but the best for your girlfriend and to make her happy, but that doesn’t always have to come at a high cost and you shouldn’t go broke doing it. Have a real talk with her about how you feel about your finances and your future and about marriage, no smiling, no laughing. Be honest about your financial concerns, depending on her answer, you’ll know if she is the right woman for you and if you can live with this long term. A lot of married couples divorce over money. It’s the number one killer. Just remember Love don’t pay the bills. If you truly love this woman, have a talk about money and the future now, before you tie the knot.

      Like

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