But sometimes in life, you just gotta take a chance and just see what happens no matter your fear. The few people that I told that I’m relocating… think I’m crazy for relocating to the west coast and at times, I think I’m crazy too, lol… all of my insecurities are coming up, where will I live? Where and when will I work? I don’t have a car. I don’t have any friends there. I only know two people there., who are extremely busy, I barely speak to them now. I have to learn a new state and the list goes on..
I’m scared sh*tless, LOL (for lack of a better word) to be honest… excuse my french, LOL. I feel like I’m throwing myself to the wolves, lol. It’s becoming more and more real since I left where I was staying….so there’s no going back there… I feel like what the heck did I do, LOL..?? But I’m doing my best to trust even though I’m scared.. Tying up a lot of loose ends is taking way longer than expected. My possessions are not selling quick enough and I can really use the money.
I just wish at times, I can control the timing of things, but I know that’s Gods job, so I need to just ride shotgun and be patient. For patience is truly a virtue.
I feel like staying back east, where I can get around, everything is close by and where I’m comfortable, but I know deep down if I stay, I will be unhappy. I feel like there is nothing left here for me, and it’s time to move on. But move on to what? All I know is that I want to move forward. But
Everything that I’m attempting to do, is not working and I’m trying really hard, to not be stubborn and listen to God… I know he’s gonna fight me on this one and I’m not going to win, LOL 🙂
I know that when God wants to push you out of your comfort zone, if you are not willing to do it, he definitely will. And you may not like his way. So at some point I’m going to have to woman up, lol :). It’s like be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it.
I’ve been wanting this for a long time. It’s hard to take a leap of faith, when you’ve been on your own for so long, no security of money, of family or friends, but that’s the great thing about it, in some weird way…. that I don’t have to consider anyone else but myself. If I decide I want to move again, then I can do so. But who wants to do that. At times you get tired of thinking about where you want to live, I guess this is why society ask, when will you settle down? The question is where? Where will I call home.
I thought about moving to the bahamas, but then that fantasy quickly faded, lol.. I don’t have any bahama money LOL….one day maybe I’ll retire there….
All I know is that I just want to be by the water, write, do yoga on the beach which I miss. Watch the sun rise before my morning run. Have some peace and quiet to hear God speak to my soul, meet like minded people. Start a brand new career whatever that may be. Buy avocados all year round when I want :). The only thing that will probably annoy me, is the extremely hot weather at times, because I hate sweating, lol.
California has some beautiful weather but I hate being hot. I love a nice cool breeze in the fall,..The drought scares me too, since I’m a water addict. but I’m sure I will get over it, lol.
Who knows…maybe everything I want and the life I want to live, is on the other side of fear….
I’m not focusing on the end result…just making sure I plan this right..the end result should not be the main focus.
Sometimes taking a leap of faith is hard, but no need to fret because God is always there and I know that he will never abandon me and he will never abandon you too. So if there is something that you have been putting on the back burner, just do your best to up faith and trust that all will be good.