I was talking to a friend of mine, about relationships and he said that I needed to date, to find what I wanted….Sorry, NOPE! Not gonna happen, LOL. I just don’t date. In the past I went out on a date or two, and it was a total disaster. I’m just not the type of woman, who takes an active approach to find love, at least I admit it. I believe love will find me, but it starts with friendship first.
Dating to me teaches people to just be in the moment and I don’t want to be in the moment with somebody I don’t like. There is nothing exciting about getting all dressed up to go out with some guy, that I may not even like. I know what you’re saying, “Just go….. go out and have fun, live a little.. go out to eat, get out the house”. I will, when I feel like it. If I feel this person is worth my time.
I hear this all the time. But I don’t want to get out the house, for a free meal and conversation. I can sit right in the comfort of my own place and talk over the phone and get to know you. If we have great conversation over the phone, then there is a possibility we might click in person. I have this non-approach to my personal life, and this is what simply works for me.
Time is precious and it’s the one thing we can’t get back and I don’t want mines wasted.
By not going out on dates and talking to someone over the phone I get to feel them out a bit. The last couple of guys who wanted to date me, they forgot they were married and had kids. Glad I didn’t go out with them and waste my time. Had I gone out with them, I would have been pissed off.
Another guy who wanted to take me out, well actually he wanted to marry me right away, just because we briefly talked for a few minutes 13 years ago, so when he saw me again, he thought he had a second chance, and tried to move so quickly, he also forgot he was married with kids. His plan was, if things didn’t work out with his wife, then he was going to try and see if he could date me/marry me.
He tried to string me along, he was inconsistent, cancelled 2 dates, he was trying to find time to get away away from his wife, he was having issues with. He tried to hide it but I figured it out. Called him out on his bullshit and he got mad. He also got mad I didn’t go out with him 13 years ago. 13 years ago, he was talking to someone too. He hated rejection, which is a red flag to me. Another bullet I dodge.
This has been the pattern of my personal life- married man, man in a relationship, men just wanting sex, men living double lives, psycho men who move to fast. Men who want to have babies with me and trap me and don’t even know me. Men asking for nude pictures or selfies before we even go out. I find all of these things out by talking to someone. I can smell the bullshit!
This is why I don’t date. I could date if I wanted to but the guy, always wind up liking me and I don’t like them. I don’t want to break their heart and I don’t want to waste my time. If a man is truly serious about finding love, he would not be trying to run game, like all of the above. He’ll wait, he’ll engage in meaningful in-depth conversations, he’ll be an avid music lover, he’ll wait to be intimate. He’ll really want to get to know me…he’ll want to be friends first.
I know what I’m worth. I know I’m worth waiting for and when he shows up I’ll know…maybe he already has.