Yeah I know…sounds weird and I know you might be saying,”why are you glad your ex was an asshole”?. Well…. continue to read and you’ll find out :).
In life, even when messed up shit happens, you have to have gratitude and say thank you to God. Thank you to the universe, because you know why, whatever you went through was necessary for your own growth. Necessary for you to see what you really deserve and for you to have standards and love yourself more. Necessary to bring you closer to the one, who truly deserves your heart and the person who can love you the way you desire.
Here I am at Walmart buying avocados and out of all days, I see my ex with the woman that he cheated on me with and their kids. Now, to be honest, seeing the two of them, made my stomach turn, lol. I’m so glad they didn’t see me. When I saw him, I just thought to myself, all the sacrifices I made for this person, all the money I spent and this is what he did and what I get. I was deprived of love, time, affection and so on. No wonder he didn’t want kids with me, because he already had them.
This man could depend on me in ways, I never could depend on him and I should have been able to, but now I know why. I didn’t realize I was giving and doing so much because, it was just things that I normally did. Nor did he stop me or appreciate it. I was that woman, that stood by him, when he had nothing and was his “ride or die”. The type of woman, most men are looking for and want in their lives. I sacrificed so much, did so much, loved so hard and still it wasn’t enough. I still got played. This dude really had me “living in disney land” Like Allen McNeil sings in “I Don’t Need Nobody”. A man or a woman can give so much and still it’s never enough, some people are just selfish and just want what they want.
Thankful for peace of mind
The thought slowly dissipated and in that moment, I felt like someone sprinkled fairy dust on me, lol. My stomach no longer turned. (Side note- my stomach only turns when I can’t stand something or someone, lol) A smile quickly appeared on my face when I reached the register and said good morning to the cashier. I instantly just felt so happy because, that was no longer my headache and heartache anymore. I was thankful for peace of mind. That relationship should have been over a long time ago, but it’s a lesson learned. The cashier said “you must be in a good mood and I said “yes, as a matter of fact I am”. She even smiled when she looked so angry before I reached her. I just thought she wasn’t a morning person, lol.
Smiling is contagious.
I’m so grateful that everything that wasn’t working for me, at that time, God took it away from me. Because I clearly did not get the point or lesson. It took a job loss for me to see what was going on, and for me to stop being so busy and to focus on myself instead of others. It made me also realized, that I need someone who loves and gives not just takes. I was so used to being there for everyone, that no one was there for me. Even when I met other men after him. When it didn’t work out and something seemed off and my intuition kicked into high gear. I just saw it as, REJECTION IS GOD’S PROTECTION.
Theres a reason why nothing worked out with anyone else. I will never understand why some people, disrespect the institution of marriage and feel the need to live a double life. If you’re unhappy in your relationship or marriage, don’t play with someone else’s heart. It’s simply not fair. All I know is that love or the possibility of love, is not elusive for me anymore. God has not forgot about me. I made a new friend who slowly helped me peel the layers off my wounded heart.
I’m glad my ex was an asshole, LOL…. because all he did was clear and make room for the right man who will truly love me and appreciate me and everything I have to offer and I really can’t be mad at that!!! 🙂 I know I’m a good woman and deserve love. I’m not going to let my heart be harden over one asshole, (or a couple of them) LOL…shit happens!! His lost, he let a truly good woman get away :). All I know is I’m excited to move on with the next chapter in my life. It truly is time for a “brand new start” :).
If someone did you wrong, even though it may seem crazy, just find a way to be grateful and move on. God truly does have someone for everyone. It sucks that you have to go through a bunch of rotten apples, lol just to find a good one. I feel the same way about my avocados, LOL.(oh that’s not the same thing?) But you know what I mean, anyway, LOL. the right person is out there for you. You only have one life and you deserved to be loved and to be happy :). God guarantees it!! Not me, lol 🙂
Thanks for reading!!!!