I received a lot of emails from both men and women, complaining about a lapse in communication with the people in their lives. It’s the number one pet peeve for a lot of people. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m really adamant about effective communication and how consistent I am with communication. When people don’t hear from me, that’s when they question “what happen?” because they know I always respond and acknowledge their communication….
One of the emails I received was…..
“My girlfriend and I live in two different states, we’re about 90 minutes away from each other. Whenever I call her sometimes, she doesn’t answer my calls, not only that, my texts and emails go unanswered. When I do it to her, but not on purpose, she gets really upset. She expects me to answer every time she calls. If I see a missed call, I call back. I’m always acknowledging her communication with me. When she texts me, I will call her as I am not big on texting or email. I’d rather hear her voice.
My communication with her, will go unnoticed for days and then when I hear from her, she will act like nothing happened. Now if I did this, it would be a problem, she would think I’m cheating. I really love her, but I’m not sure if I can put up with this long term, its already been 9 months. I understand we’re both busy but she could atleast say something. This makes me feel a bit insecure too, buy I try not to think the worst. she did this before we started dating but I thought it would stop.”
Torn on communication
Shit, at least it’s not 6 months, LOL…A friend of mine did this to me and when he called me, it was like it was nothing…..no, I’m sorry or why….I kind of knew why, but it would have been nice if he said something. He just flat out stopped talking to me….I had no idea he felt a certain type of way about me or how intense it was. I had to respect his feelings, as much as it hurt me and I did not like it….I know this feeling all to well, as there are a few people who do this to me.
Men especially….what I’m hearing here, is that both these individuals have had problems in the past with communication. Their insecurities are coming up. Not only that there is some distance between them. When someone does not acknowledge our communication, as much as we don’t want to, we automatically start thinking the worst. I just finish having a conversation with a friend of mine about this and yet this is being done to me.
Pretty much every time he communicates with me whether by calling, email, tex I respond. The key thing that I try to remember, when my insecurities are being stirred up by a man, is to do my best and try not to take it personal. Sometimes people need a break, and they simply do not feel like talking. People have lives and sometimes they feel like, the only way to stay focused is not talking to certain people.
Acknowledgement would be nice and very well appreciated, but that’s not always the case sometimes. I also can not expect people to be like me. I treat people the way I want to be treated, which is what my friend said to me. So I’m not sure why he’s choosing not to respond to me. Whenever my friend and I do talk, we’re on the phone for hours and sometimes we talk several times a day. So I try to remember that when he doesn’t acknowledge my communication.
I have no clue why he chooses to be inconsistent sometimes and other times why he chooses to be consistent. I know that if we were to date, this would be a problem, because he expressed this to me, that he expects his woman to answer the phone, so I don’t know why the oxymoron now, LOL. There’s also some distance between us, so I’m sure on some level, he’s tired of talking on the phone and just wants to meet already. So do I, which will be happening soon. So I get it.
Long distance relationships/friendships, no matter if it’s 90 minutes or 5 hours is tough for some people, especially when it comes to communication. The people in our lives are always going to stir up something, that we are uncomfortable with and this is when we have to sit down and have a talk, about how this makes us feel and if they care and love us, they will do their best not to make us feel a certain type of way.
When I know someone doesn’t like something. I make a mental note of it so it doesn’t happen again. Not everybody is like that, people simple do things out of habit and we have to let them know, when something is bothering us and decide whether or not if it’s a deal breaker. It would be great if everyone in the world was consistent but that’s not the case. I know men always want to see if I’m consistent but they are not.
When it comes to communication, makes sure the people in your lives are consistent, because this will show how they are consistent in other ways a in their lives. Some people are consistent with being inconsistent, lol well at least it’s consistency right, lol :).