Are You Meant To Be In A Relationship?

3115d370fd5045a74e8d47f7b46bed6aI received two emails today, from two men asking the same question. Am I meant to be in a relationship? That they were single for so long, they wondered how can they can be open to a woman again. I know a lot of people are feeling this way now a days. Even me, no matter how much I believe in love. Sometimes the longer you are single, you start to wonder and maybe even lose hope.

If it’s been years, you question, can I do this? Can someone love me again? Can I love someone again? Can I open my heart again? You miss that feeling of being able to be close to someone in every way. I saw this couple at the beach kissing, playing with each other and it made me smile. They looked young in their 20s and I remember being young and in love too and having fun and just enjoying loving the person I was with.

We never argued. I loved the fact that he confided in me about everything. He wondered if he was bringing me down at times, but I reminded him that I was his friend first and that his pain was my pain. That he would never have to worry about being alone. What good is having someone in your life if you can’t come to them. I learned that men are not void of emotion. Men especially need to feel secure to entrust their emotions with the woman they love.

Even though it made me smile, it also made me feel a little sad, because it’s been a long time since I had that. I thought to myself, do they live together? Are they the first person they see and talk to in the morning and every night? Do they send flirty text? Are they there for each other in every way. I thought how nice it would be to have that. Then I thought to myself, are some people meant to be in love, or even in a relationship?

Maybe we are meant to love and give in other ways, to the world, with our talents and gifts, the way artist share their music. Instead of something solid or one on one. Relationships may not be for everyone. Some people are just comfortable, with dating, not committing… or being alone, as much as one wants love and to be able to give love it may not always be easy.

Love seems to always be elusive to me. They end before they start. Yeah I know I just finish writing an article about surrendering your love life to God. I still believe that, but relationships or almost relationships, just seem to be to complicated. You wonder if you’re saying or doing the right thing.

But no need for you to give up hope, we all have doubts in life. It’s called being human, no matter your faith or your past experiences. That’s what shapes us. Feelings come and go, sit with them. Feel your feelings so you can heal them. Soul search. It’s teaching you something.

I sometimes wonder am I in the way of having the love that I desire or is it everything else thats going on. Maybe once some other areas in my life are fixed, maybe that area will open up. Maybe there’s a blockage. Maybe I need to work on myself more. We’re all a work in progress.

It just takes someone willing to be with you and accepting you. There’s no perfect love but why can’t love be simple, like the music I listen to? If love is meant to be, it will be…. only time will tell.

Until then still believe in love no matter where you are in life or what you are going through. I will continue to do the same 🙂


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