When two people decide they want to spend their life together. They take a vow to become husband and wife right?! So why do so many men complain, about how their wife has change after marriage? That they feel neglected, alone and not desired anymore.
This happens a lot especially after a child is born. The husband takes a back seat to the child (ren). This should not be,especially if the husband is the leader of the home.
A lot of women tend to forget that before they became a mother, that they were first a wife. Some women focus all of their attention on the child (ten) even when the child reaches a mature age and neglect to cater to their husband. I’m not talking about being a subservient slave or a doormat.
I already know it’s 2016 and women are working and have more of a say so, since they are bringing home a paycheck too. But this is not about that.
If you are a stay at home wife and mother and your husband provides, there should be no excuse, why your husband needs are being neglected. Whether it’s your support, a listening ear, your affection, for you to be quiet at times, a home cooked meal and even sex. Both sexes should cater to each other, but men mostly feel neglected a lot by their wives.
Being a mom is not an easy job, yes it’s hard work. Babies need A LOT of attention. Some women are not really prepared for the energy and patience it takes to raise a child. They just want one, to want one.
But that doesn’t mean neglect your husband. A baby doesn’t need 24 hour around the clock care. At some point you are going to have to make time for yourself, your husband and your marriage. Marriage is not about just having a baby. There’s another person involved here. I know a few women that got married or simply hooked up with a guy, just to have a kid (s). Now that they are married or living together.
They wonder why the man in their life, is not attentive, affectionate or caters to them. Well you’re not catering to your husband either. If you married your husband just for a baby and you treat him like an ATM machine or a sperm donor. How do you expect to be catered to or have what you want in your marriage, especially if you are not being a submissive wife.
No only is this detrimental to your marriage, not catering to your husband, but you are making him more vulnerable to other women. I meet men like this all the time. They feel neglected lonely, they want someone to connect to, have a conversation and maybe even more. These are not bad men, they are just being neglected on so many levels and one of the greatest needs for any heterosexual man, is companionship from his wife. Children should not get all the attention.
It’s not odd for a man to feel jealous of the attention the kids receive, its not their fault. It’s the wife’s fault. I’ve seen women bend over backwards for their child’s request, but if their husband ask, they give him an attitude. That attitude needs to be checked at the door!! Your husband wants to know that you will be there for him too. That he is loved and appreciated especially for providing. If your husband ask you to do something. Don’t say no or give him lip.
They same energy and attention your children receive, you should give to him too, if he needs something. That is your husband. Men feel overlooked, they don’t feel appreciated, this can make then feel resentful and angry. A man once told me that when his son spent the night out, his wife was sad then when he returned, she was ecstatic about seeing him, she showed his so much affection. He said that when he went away on business that when he returned, she didn’t ask him anything. No affection, nothing. That she asked him when was he going away again.
That when he walked though the door, she looked at him, as if to say, why are you here? She wasn’t very happy to see him. I’ve witness this too, even hearing women say, when are you going back to work? Or can’t you work overtime or at night? Who says that to their husband?! Why are you married if that’s how you feel? I’ve witness on many occasions, people have beautiful homes but where is the love? They walk through the door, No one is catering to one another after a long day.
There’s no one greeting each other with any type of affection, no hug, no kiss or asking how ones day is, or how the other person is doing. No helping with taking off ones coat, shoes or taking bags from their hand. No home cooked meal, just whatever is in the freezer. They treat each other like roommates or strangers. There is arguing over money too. If you are cohabitating with someone or if you are married. Why is there arguments over money? Why isn’t there a joint account? If you enter a union to become husband and wife, you become one.
There is no independence and being separate on anything. You shouldn’t have to ask your husband for money or basic needs for you and your family, he’s suppose to be the provider. But when a woman (and even a man) marries the wrong person, for the wrong reasons. This is another reason why a wife doesn’t cater to her husband. When you fight with your mate, how can you be a loving spouse and give each other what you need and want. You can’t. You start to desire your husband less and less because you had a specific selfish goal in mine to get what you wanted.
We’ve all her the old adage, “happy wife, happy life”. Well what about a happy husband too?! Both parties should be happy and working together. Marriage is about two becoming one, not one persons needs over the others. Marriage is not a club you join for perks. If you’re not informed about why God made a woman for a man. And what a woman’s role is in a man’s life and what a mans role is in a woman’s life.
Why they are to become husband and wife, then I suggest you do some research. There’s nothing wrong with putting your husbands needs first, above anything in your life and there is nothing wrong with putting your wife first. Both spouses have to choose each other and submit to one another. But one leads and the other one follows and that delegation belongs to the man of the house.
***haters, your comments are not welcomed :). lol thanks for reading though ***