Are Your Needs Being Met or Neglected In Your Past Or Current Relationship?

df94d13b413b7c32e7b77c5ff1b451bdPeople come into our lives to teach us lessons and to reflect back to us, who we are and what we need and want and what we don’t want. In my last post, I talked about meeting the same kind of men. How inconsistent they are.

How the men I meet 9/10 are looking for someone to take care of them. I thought to myself, maybe the reason why I keep attracting these men, subconsciously is because my needs are not being met on any level when I am in a relationship.

2 out of my last 3 relationships. My needs were neglected. The men simply did not want to step up and be men. I never realized this because I was independent. I was taught from a very early age, like most women, never to depend on a man for ANYTHING. They don’t know how to love, they don’t know how to provide. They leave. That all they want is sex and to take care of myself. So I avoided men and kept my distance even in a relationship.

My last relationship was the one that really took its toll on me on all levels, because I was doing everything, My ex never had to need or want for anything. But I did. I had to worry about the rent and all the bills and food and everything else I needed. I was a super woman. All the financial responsibility was on me. I realized after we split that every guy I met before him, during a breakup and after him.

Are always coming to me with their needs. That’s because my emotional needs are being neglected and everything that one is innately, suppose to do when in a relationship. No man has ever said to me, you need anything? When they know I need something, it’s very clear. They just make excuses for not helping me or being there.

These men are just reflecting back to me, what I need in a relationship. Relationships are give and take, but some people just want to be on the receiving end and neglect their significant other. Sometimes on purpose. Over time, when your needs are not being met, this teaches you that you’re not worthy, of having the love you deserve and that your needs are not important.

864008bc72a712864ec343e3231d10b0

When knowing you need help with something or you know you are being neglected, you suppress what you want and don’t even ask, especially if an argument ensues.

Until I ask for what I want and let it be clear, that this is what I want in a relationship. I’m going to keep attracting grown man babies, LOL. All the things men come at me with. I want someone who is thoughtful and does those things for me too.

Regardless of what they might be. The men that try to get their needs met from me or any other woman, is because their needs are not being met at home. And if you are in a relationship with someone and your needs are not being met, you’re going to attract someone else whose needs are not being met. This is how cheating or affairs start. Two people who are feeling neglected.

But instead of talking things out and not seeming needy and wanting to keep the peace. Cheating seems like a better option. It’s a temporary fix to a long term problem. I meet men who are tired of spending money all the time, going out. They want a home cooked meal, so when they meet a woman who likes to cook. They will try to get that woman to cook for them or try to invite themselves over.

Once again, a need that is not being fulfilled. Men want be listened to and emotionally taken care of too, so when they meet a woman who listens, they feel close and want to express that in a physical way. When I’m in a relationship. I tend to just do everything. I’m very self-sufficient. I don’t ask men for anything. They see that I’m not needy.

Men look at me, as more of a convenience. Someone to make their life better. Rather than who I really am and a long-term partner. We all have needs and wants. If you keep attracting or ending up in relationships, that are not healthy in any way and that do not supply you, with what you need and want. It’s time to do some soul-searching.

Maybe on a deeper level, you feel you are not worthy of love. I know at times I feel that way, with all the shit I been through, but I know that is not true., This is another reason when a man is inconsistent with me and just pops in an out my life, I expect it because it’s something that I’m use to, even though I shouldn’t be.

No one should get used a person walking out on them.

Regardless of what your needs are and your concerns, if you have a loving partner, express to them, how you feel. If they can’t fulfill your needs on any level, then it’s simply time to move on. There are people out there who know what a relationship consist of and will give you what you need.

 

 

Does Finding “The One” Get Complicated The Older You Get?

IMG_4401Love and finding the one for some strange reason gets complicated the older you get. I thinks that’s only because you had enough experience and you know what you want and what you don’t want. I always thought love was easy and it is, it’s people who make it complicated. Love is the one thing we all want but it seems like, it’s so far out of reach for most of us.

I received and email from a guy asking” Why do women ghost after the first date.?” This is not a woman thing. This is a people thing. Men do the same shit!, lol….This kind of thing happens to me all the time. Sometimes, there is no date and a man will ghost on me and then, I find out the reason why later. Even if we’re just hanging out and there’s no official “date”, I won’t ever see him again.

When people ask me why I don’t have someone special in my life, it’s because I keep going through the same thing, over and over again with a different guy and I’m not even dating them, lol…The last time I went out with a guy was a few years ago, never saw him again, he forgot he was married with children and had several different mothers to his kids….

In between that time, men have tried to take me out, but then they cancelled our date, because they tried to come over to my house.. So I stop talking to men for a while, then about two months ago I went out with someone. Everything was fine, haven’t seen him since..We’re still friends. It doesnt matter if my life is good at the moment or if I’m going through something. This happens to me all the time and to be perfectly honest, I think it’s about time I give up being open to the possibility of anything with anyone.

People keep their distance for whatever reason and there can be a multitude of reasons, why you’re not seeing the person you want to be with or feel you have a connection with. It’s simply not meant to be and timing is everything. Work on yourself why you wait for God to reveal the right woman and man for you. Sometimes people want more than you can give them and it doesn’t mean they are a bad person, it just means they are not the one for you.

IMG_4384As I have said numerous times. I’m single because I’m tired of inconsistent men. They want me to be, loyal, consistent but they are not. Long periods without talking, Then a text or email pops up days, weeks, months later even years later. They want me to prove to them who I am and what I can do for them. I’m tired of men looking for a lover/mother/wife/provider/maid/chef/. I’m tired of getting the backlash of some mans previous relationships, that when he comes across a good woman, whose not like the rest.

He decides, I’m going to wait and see, what she can do for me first. Men keep wanting me to be a blessing to them financially. WTF!!! When I share an experience about the things I did in my previous relationship or when a man ask me a question. When a man hears the things, I’ve done, they are like “wow, she’s different. I wonder if she’ll do the same for me? I want a woman with her own money so she can contribute to my life”.

Men tell me all these nice things but then their actions prove otherwise. If I’m all of these wonderful things that you like and want, why the inconsistent behaviour. Why do you want me to be the man? If you call me a Queen, why are you trying to treat me like I’m a peasant? As much as I am a passionate loving selfless woman. I really do not think love is in the stars for me at all…I am not trying to raise a grown man.

If you’re wanting love, know you deserve better than what you had in the past or in this present moment, don’t settle. Love?? I’m pretty sure it’s out there but it needs to be on a consistent basis. That will build trust. When a man or a woman is not consistent, it builds mistrust and you need trust in any relationship. Just because one does not have the title of being yours exclusively doesn’t mean, that it’s ok to have inconsistent behaviour because someone is not your man or woman yet.

Men go hard for what they really want and if a man is not going hard for you. You’re not what he wants. Somebody joked and said maybe I should have Steve Harvey find me a man..right… maybe…I’m sure he’ll do a thorough background check on the guy, because of the way he loves and treats his wife and daughters so I’m sure if I wrote in, he might find someone who’s loyal and consistent for me…. but then I would have to go on TV, not sure I’m willing to do that.

How Do You Share Your Gift With The World, When You Are A Private Person?

justin-trudeau-quotes-5Sharing your gift with the world is not always an easy thing. When I first started writing again, it took me a year to publish my first article. I signed up on wordpress and other blogging sites and didn’t publish anything. When I would comment on post on social media, I would get a barrage of emails, direct messages retweets, and likes. It overwhelmed me. It did. I’ve always been an indepth woman.

Some people may call me long-winded, and I’ve been told plenty of times by people especially men, that I write too much. My teachers back in middle school and high school even told me I wrote to much. Really?! They asked me if I was headed to college after high school, lol. Anyway, This is why I posted a Thank You article to all my faithful followers and non followers, who take the time out to read my articles and leave comments, because I know they are long, lol.

But I’m a writer and I’m not going to apologize for it. I’m pretty sure I will do short articles in the future but that has not happened yet. When I was asked to keep my work short by other bloggers. I simply declined to write for them anymore, as I am not getting paid for my time and effort. Telling a writer not to write is like asking a singer not to sing. I get it, people are pressed for time. Well if you don’t have the time to read what I write, simply come back to it later.

Volia! That solves that problem :). You see how easy that was!

When I choose to share what’s on my mind, something always leads to something. I’m a storyteller at heart. Isn’t that why we all write. Isn’t that why we buy or download books. I understand you don’t want to lose the interest of the reader, but there is a story being told. Blogging and sharing advice allows me to share my gift with the world on a level I’m comfortable with now. I get to express how I feel without being to transparent. Whatever I experience and the lesson it taught me, I get to share and learn from it.

Of course one day I would love to sell out books across the world, but do I really have to reveal who I am on a much larger scale? There are some deep things that I really want to write about and I’m sure I will, but when you decide to share things, you become a target in an indirect way. I posted a pic of myself on Facebook and within seconds, I got direct messages from men. Acting like they were interested in my work, when its clear they weren’t.

In creative fields, you lose some of your privacy, people fall in love with your image and with google and all this technology, people can find out where you live. People say, oh don’t worry about that. That’s a lot to worry about. I don’t care so much so about what people say, people are entitled to their own opinion. It’s my privacy that I don’t want to forfeit. I don’t want someone knowing where I live. Not only that, what you’re worth and what you have also becomes a factor.

This is why some people in the entertainment industry are very reluctant, to start a new relationship, get married or even make new friends, because you never know who wants you for you. If you ask your S.O. to sign a prenup. Forget it! They think you don’t love them. It’s not that, you are just protecting everything you worked so hard for. You have to be very, very selective. This is why actors wind up dating within their circle, because they need someone who understands that life.

The artist mind and how they are conditioned in this field, is not like a regular person. The hard truth is there are people who just want to be with you, because of who you are and what you have. They want the perks of being associated with you. When you choose to share your gift with the world, people want to connect with you, of course you get to choose how much you want to share. I know it’s an oxymoron to want to be in a creative field and be private.

I struggle with it all the time. I’m an introvert. At times I can be extroverted but I’m not one who likes attention in any way. I don’t need praise from the masses. When people recognized me from a few things I did. It felt weird. What people fail to realize is that, you have to give a part of your privacy up when you choose to be in a public career. Some people want fame. I don’t. They chase it! It makes them feel important. They don’t feel like a regular person. They love the adoration from the masses.

When I love an artist, it’s about their work. I don’t know them to personally feel that way about them. But the human mind makes you feel connected. My readers feel connected to me and some of the responses I get from men, leaving me their personal information, trying to date me through my blog makes me laugh. They are in love with the things I say and they are looking for a woman like me. I’m not trying to have a stalker and that can easily happen.

A friend of mine said to me, “I have to get you used to being in the public eye”. I said for what? I said that’s ok, I’m good, LOL. This is nothing for him, he’s been doing this for years. It’s a blessing and a curse. It really is. Fame is not something that I’m looking forward to or want, it’s just a byproduct of being in a creative field. I don’t want to be on the front cover of a magazine, unless I’m sparking some type of change.

How do you share your gift with the world when you are a private person? Just do it on a level that is comfortable for you. You could be a ghostwriter.. you could have someone else do the distributing for you. I’m the type of person that would be in “Undercover Boss” No one will know who I am really. I just think there is a lot of power behind the scenes.

No one wants to talk about the dark side of being in the public eye. I think it’s about time we had that talk.

 

 

How Your Loves Ones, Who Have Transitioned Connect With You

Alrighty then…so there’s a spirit around me, no need to be alarmed right,…. It’s just my mom 🙂 ….

This is nothing new. My mom does this to me all the time,. I turned off this song 3 times. Thought I hit the button by mistake once, so I turned it off. I get up to close the window… the song comes again. I turn it off then it comes on again…then it comes on, on my phone. I’m like ok mom, I know that’s you,. I get it. alright. I’ll let it play :).

She does the same thing with Anita Baker, Jodeci, TROOP and Luther Vandross.

Everytime when I’m thinking of my mom and I’m missing home and the music we used to listen to. Something strange happens… It just makes me smile. I’m happy my mom takes time, like always to watch over me and to let me know she’s here when I sometimes feel like she’s not.

I know I’m not the only one who has experienced this. When love is on my mind, whether I’m hurting or happy or sad…a loved one or an Angel will step in. I know they hear me. The volume will rise and the energy of the room will feel different. I know I’m not alone. I can feel their energy around me.

Our loved ones who have transitoned are always communicating with us. We just have to be opened to listen. We have to recognize the signs. Just like the holy spirit talks to us all the time, so do our loves ones through music, writings and other people.

Angels do appear in human form.

So the next time something strange happens, No need to call Ghostbusters or run out of the room screaming,, haa haa…it’s just your love ones communicating with you, letting you know they hear you and they are trying to comfort you :).

Centro De Atención: El Legendario Karyn White, El Original Súper Mujer!!

1457659_573542789366749_1921402213_nCuando descubrí que uno de mi vocalista femenina favorita, Karyn White estaba en el diseño de interiores, la renovación y teniendo un tiro a convertirse en una actriz. Tenía que brillar la luz y mostrar este legendario artistsensual poco de amor.

Karyn White entró en la escena musical a finales de 1980, y no se necesita mucho para ella para robar nuestros corazones y hacernos cantar y bailar. Karyn solo tenía y que todos se enamoró de ella. Era tan orgánica.

Karyn traído nos grandes éxitos como “The Way You Love Me“, “Secret Rendezvous” Y “Love Saw It“.  Un dúo que hizo con el legendario Babyface. Fuera de su debut álbum titulado “Karyn White”. Pero la canción que Karyn White es el más famoso por, es su canción Superwoman .

Karyn White tuvo cada mujer, canto a la parte superior de sus pulmones para “Superwoman“. Esta canción eco en mujeres en el mundo y todavía sigue haciéndolo hasta hoy. Yo nunca podría cansarse de esta canción. Es un clásico y el himno para las mujeres como para saber a los hombres, que somos seres humanos y no a las máquinas.

Karyn todavía hermoso como siempre y todavía se ha mantenido fiel a sí misma y humilde. Karyn White es uno de los artista increíble sensual, que sólo viene por ahí, una vez en la vida. Profundidad prima de Karyn de la emoción, cuando se trata de su música y voz es impecable! La vulnerabilidad de Karyn en su voz cuando canta, se puede sentir cada letra.

Karyn-WhiteCuando Karyn canta, canta. Deseo Karyn White estaba en el reciente tributo a Babyface, cantando su éxito “Superwoman”.  Cuando presencias de Karyn faltaba en el tributo, los aficionados se dieron cuenta inmediatamente y preguntaron dónde estaba ella ??!

El mundo realmente la echa de menos y espero que ella lo sabe! No me importa que cubre esta canción y cuántas veces. Nadie canta esta canción como Karyn White. Sólo hay una “Súper Mujer” y su nombre es KARYN WHITE!!

Debo decir que echo de menos la presencia de los blancos Karyn en la industria de la música, simplemente no viene a través de artista como Karyn hoy en día. Aunque Karyn no está en el centro de atención más, no significa que ella se ha ralentizado. Karyn último disco fue en 2012 “Carpe Diem“, pero ella todavía está de gira y cantar. Karyn sigue flexionando y extendiendo sus alas creativas.

Me encanta cuando el artista se reinventan y hacer algo diferente. Karyn tiene una serie próximo proyecto llamado “Finding Forever” que se ha producido con su propia compañía de producción. No puedo esperar a ver esta serie. Lo que me gusta de esta nueva serie, es que se está hablando de una cosa, que todos podemos relacionar y queremos en nuestras vidas. Que es el amor. Todos queremos que una persona especial que podemos pasar siempre con.

MSCC-profile-cropedDespués de dolor de corazón, después de dolor de corazón, el carácter de Karyn, Terri se pregunta si alguna vez se va a encontrar el amor de nuevo. Me encanta lo valiente el carácter de Karyn es.

No todo el mundo acaba de levantarse y moverse y hacer algo diferente, especialmente dejar la seguridad de su trabajo y su vida entera. Vivir en un lugar diferente y empezar de nuevo. Sólo las personas individuales hacen un movimiento tan valiente. No saber qué va a pasar.

Esta serie está relatando un poco a cerca de casa para mí, LOL. Estoy en el medio de reubicación de pronto, por lo que un nuevo comienzo … pero el amor, hmmmmm . Estoy muy reacios a intentarlo de nuevo. Me pregunto si me encuentro con alguien y tener una oportunidad, va a lanzar una llave inglesa en mi planes .

Sólo el tiempo y Dios dirá. Tengo muchas ganas de seguir Terri en “Finding forever“. Para ver si se puede encontrar el amor que ella realmente desea. Sobre todo con un hombre más joven. No estoy seguro si puedo hacerlo, como me gustan los hombres mayores, lol :).

13179105_780955662006534_4237330430828229139_nAdemás de ser un actor, Karyn también tiene un amor y pasión por el diseño de interiores y real propiedad. Echa un vistazo a su blog en el diseño de interiores “My Southern Country Cottage”.

Hay una cierta pacífica energía de este sitio web que amo. Tal vez es la sensación south de Atlanta. No hay nada como entrar en un espacio y lo que es su propio. No puedo esperar a ver lo, que mi parte favorita de la casa va a ser similar, que es la cocina.

Artista no son sólo cantantes, cuando eres un artista, a innovar, se pueden hacer muchas cosas creativas y siempre no tiene que ser el centro de atención. Estoy emocionado como fanático para venir mucho en este viaje con Karyn White, para ver cómo su southern resulta casita.

No puedo esperar a ver el resultado final ya que me encanta el diseño de interiores. Este show debe ser en HGTV. Tal vez Dios oirá mi oración :). Esto podría llevar a grandes cosas para Karyn White. Estoy bastante seguro de que veremos mucho más de ella pronto, en una escala mucho más amplia. Que sabe que puede empezar a renovar su casa :). Asegúrese de que usted se inscribe en las actualizaciones si amas, Karyn y amas de diseño de interiores. Por lo que no se pierda nada.

Hasta entonces…….. aquí hay un viaje al pasado, con la hermosa Karyn White, cantando su canción número uno “Super Woman”. Disfruta!!

Don’t Let Me Think There’s An Us, When There Isn’t

I had to share this.. been here before, way to many times…not a good feeling… This goes both ways, whether you are a man or a woman. I see I’m not the only one who feels this way….

Ashley WebbDon’t say hello to me when your next word is goodbye. Don’t talk to me if you are going to act like you are superior to me. Don’t take selfies with me if you warn me not to post them anywhere. Don’t ask me to hang out only to go MIA and not follow…

via Don’t Let Me Think There’s An Us When There Isn’t — Thought Catalog