When Leadership And Discipline Fail In The Home

28084e29d89598e7e65f37a573b6542aI was watching a clip of Iyanla Vanzant’s “Fix My Life” and one of the episodes in particular was about a dysfunctional family. The reason why this family was so dysfunctional, was because of the failed leadership of the man of the house.

Iyanla had to tell this man, that it’s his job to lead his family and also to respect the woman of the house too. That he had to instill some type of discipline and order in his house. And the reason why his wife wanted to leave him because of his failed leadership.

When a husband fails to lead, this causes a breakdown in the marriage. This breakdown can cause a spiral effect when it comes to parenting and the decision-making when it comes to money as well.

Even though it’s 2016,  a lot of women in relationships (marriages) have a problem with letting a man lead. They have a problem with, letting him be the disciplinarian and head of the house. Some men abuse this privilege that God gave them, but to the ones that don’t. They have a hard time having order in their home, when it comes to the woman and children in their life. This shouldn’t be so.

Lets look at it from this perspective. I’ll use the business analogy. In every business you need a CEO, A president or a COO. The CEO is responsible for making all the decisions, leading the company to financial success. The company depends on the CEOs leadership and to manage the company. Without it the business fails. Within this business there are employees, who are suppose to help the business run smoothly. Employees still have a say, that’s why they call meetings.

a48e68a1dcd0272537f51f70c53eb16dThe same goes for the home within a marriage. The woman of the house is not void without an opinion or a say. But there needs to be a leader and it can not be the woman when it comes to certain things. Women by nature are hard headed, lol. (You know its true, lol)

Call me sexist if you want I don’t care. Women need to understand their role as the woman of the house and they need to understand and respect the man of the house and the role he’s call forth to do by God. I see so many men struggle to have order and discipline in their home.

I hear the constant fighting by an unruly woman who refuses to be submissive and respect her significant other. The man will say something and the woman will rule against it. For example, the man wants the kids in bed by 8, but she says it’s ok for them to be in bed by 9. Whats wrong with 8 o’clock? The man says, no junk food or eating in the room. The wife says its ok, why can’t they eat in the room. The husband wants their clothes ready the night before. The wife says she’ll do it in the morning. You get the point.

What is this constant back and forth for? Where is the trust and order at? Why are things being put off? This is teaching your children not to trust their father. That they can go against his word. It’s not all the time you see a two parent household, but when you do, it needs to be clear who’s in charge. This system is not militant. A lot of women need to really respects a man role within a relationship and even in society and know that men are equipped to lead the way God intended.

When you look around and you see these tall buildings, bridges, cars, roads, houses, machines of all kinds. Men built that. Men never want to be equal to women. Women would never hear of it. But women are constantly trying  to be equal to men in all ways. I would never want to be equal to a man. Even women who hate men, try to act and dress like men. They like the masculinity and authority that comes with being a man. The respect that men get. The things that men “get away” with that women can’t.

There’s nothing sexy or graceful about a woman acting like a man. But some women want to be dominate and in control. You can be in control, save that for the bedroom, LOL :). A man needs a woman to be strong when he is vulnerable and a bit weary. He may need her to take over at times, to be his anchor but not to ultimately do what he does. I would never understand why some women, want masculine jobs, to prove what? Why do they want the stress and pressure of a strenuous job for?

Why would any woman want to be a police officer or a fireman. I just know these jobs are for men. I would never be chasing after a man, that is physically stronger than me or jumping in a burning building. I’m a woman, not a super hero, LOL. Why would I want to be in the line of duty to get hurt or killed. I should be home with my children tending to my home where it’s safe. Men sacrifice their lives for their family and even their country not women but they want to, why I don’t know.

These jobs bring out to much testosterone in women. It makes them hard and ungraceful. There just seems to be a breakdown, in what masculine and feminine roles are in our society. Men want to be men and women want to be men too. Something is truly off here. Women simply do not trust a man to lead or they don’t want them to. When there is a breakdown in leadership in the home, everything is chaotic and out of order.

Children respect their mom differently from the way they respect their father. Children know they can get away with things with their mom, that their father would say no to. So children think their father is mean when he enforces any type of discipline. You see it all the time, kids out of control when it comes to their mother, but when they are with their father, they are more disciplined. How they kind of fear their dad. If a woman feels her husband is being to hard on the kids, she will challenge him.

Yes, men can be a little to hard but its for a reason. They have innate instincts that God gave them to protect their family. The man of the house can not be a ‘yes man’, he mind as well be a woman, lol. He needs to be strong and a protector especially if he has daughters. I’ve seen women say yes to everything, when it comes to their child(ren). Women want to be liked and their child’s friend, instead of their mother first. A man is not trying to do that.  A real man knows his role and he needs the woman in his life to respect this and not challenge it.

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