I was watching a video clip of Iyanla Vanzant, and a young woman was upset that her parents made her give up her child for adoption when she was 15. Iyanla said to her “What if Gods purpose was, for her to have that child, to be able to bless someone else with the child”. Because the couple that got her baby couldn’t have any children of their own.
I understand she was angry and resentful, but what she said made so much sense. God uses us and certain situations to help us grow and learn and to get us out of our comfort zone. Sometimes when you can’t make the change he will do it for you. I had to lose everything to gain myself back. I wasn’t happy about it, but I was sure grateful! It was a blessing in disguise.
All of the things that I went through, any other person would have snapped. I’ve seen and heard things and by the grace of God I’m still here. I know that God is using me and the things that happen in my life for a reason. To help someone. Sometimes I wonder why me? Why did I have to lose my mom at 14? Why did I have to raise myself. Of course I was bitter, angry, hurt and confused. Who wouldn’t be?
I realized years ago why he called her home and when I explain that people they are shocked. They feel sorry for me. I don’t want pity. I was blessed with the best mom for almost 15 years. So why would I be sad…I think some people tend to forget that this life is temporary and when you love someone it’s hard to see them transistion from the physical world to the spiritual , because we want them here but when a person is sufferring.
They need to be at peace and if you love them, you will want them to be at peace, even if it means they can’t be here physically. Everything that was important that I needed, the lessons I needed to learn, my mom left with me. The tools I needed in life to survive and take care of myself. And God has been there every step of the way and so have my gaurdian angels. Most 14 year olds are not thinking about working or paying rent.
They still have their parents but this is the hand that God gave me. He knew I was equppied to handle it.As private as I am (and some people still don’t know what I look like, lol) I have been able to share my lifes experiences, because I see it as, maybe I can help someone. I learned what not to to do by other peoples mistakes and even my own. All of us are here to learn lessons and grow.
If you do not learn the lessons that God and life has to teach. Guess what, you will repeat those same lessons until you get the point.
At some point in your life you have to get still and ask questions and reflect. You have to know who you are and learn about others. You have to be in one bad relationship to appreicate and know that you deserve a good one. That you deserve love and to be appreicated. The people that come into your life either teach you what you want or don’t want. Always know that the experiences in your life, God will use you as a testimony to help others.
Sometimes I get overwhelmed with the flood of emails I get, because I want to reach out to everyone and help everyone. I’m an HSP, an empath and being a “master number 11″…… and sometimes I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. Then on the other hand. It makes me feel good that people leave comments and email me to tell me that my words helped them, when they have given up hope. All I can do is thank God for using me to help someone.
“If you’ve helped one person and changed their life, you’ve done your job”
There was a time when I almost gave up writing but in 2012, I slowly got back into it. I had to find my passion for it again, so that I can be true to myself. True to my calling and this gift that God has bestowed upon me. So many people were twisting my words, it still happens every now and then. When you have insight, people want it. They feel connected and it’s a lot to take on. Anybody who knows me, knows I don’t like attention or the spotlight.
I did ask God to help me find my passsion for writing again and when he did. The flood gates opened I couldnt keep up with my thoughts, I had to keep my laptop with me, just so I could write at any given moment. He’ll even wake me up in the middle of night and lead me to write. Sometimes I’m like really God?? I’m sleepy, LOL…ok you the man, lol.. but I know I have to listen to him and share because someone needs to hear what, he wants me to say.
Because after I’m done posting, I know my words reached someone, so in return they can reach someone. So I just pray and I just let the holy spirit talk to me and use me. If you have a gift, use it, share it. Someone else on this beautiful planet called earth needs it. They need to here your life’s story and testimony. Don’t be ashamed of where you come from, what you’ve been through, even if you have to start over in life, no matter what age you are. It’s all part of Gods plan and journey. Embrace it!
Life is meant to be lived so live it!