I know this is a tough one……reliquinshing control… It’s 2016, yada yada, lol… I can see the feminist, male-bashing independent women coming for me now, LOL. Calm down! You just might learn something….
Let me go in-depth about this. It should be a given that you must love yourself first, before you can love someone else. Self love is of the utmost importance especially when it comes to a healthy relationship.
The majority of women that I know are struggling in their relationship. Even women that email me are having issues, simply because they want to be the man in the relationship. They read my article about men leading…( and they don’t like it, sorry that’s to bad) They don’t want a man “telling them what to do” or “controlling them” in any way.
They want to be independent but still part of a relationship. That’s like a married person, still acting single. That doesn’t make any sense. Just stay single. There is no “I” or “Me” in a relationship. When two people decide to be together, there are sacrifices and compromises made. They are one. A team. Partners.
Women are making their own money, paying their own bills and therefore, they feel they have a right to run things in a relationship. Right?…..Wrong?? I get asked by women all the time, how do I make my relationship better? The answer is simple. Stop trying to be the man, lol. Be submissive but not a doormat. A lot of women have a problem with that word “submissive“, because of the negative connotation they have attached to it. Some also have valid reasons for not wanting to be submissive. I understand.
Some men will abuse leadership and a submissive good woman. That’s because these men are insecure and they want a “Yes” woman. Some men are intimidated by a strong independent woman. I get told by men all the time, “I’m to much, I’m long winded. I think to much and I write to much”. (Yeah, I write to much. Sorry for having a brain, losers) They want to be the one in control of EVERYTHING.
They feel like being a leader or in control, means not caring about a womans opinion or respecting her mind. So I get why women have a problem with being submissive. Because they feel they are not being heard, appreciated and respected. Another thing is, women are submitting to the wrong man. If you have a good man in your life, (whether you are married or not) and your man provides and he makes sure, you have what you need and takes care of you. Why not show your appreciation. Why not let him lead. That’s his responsibility any way.
Submission and letting a good man lead is about trust. Men need our trust and our respect. No relationship is perfect but if you want a healthy relationship. You have to let a good man lead. If not your relationship will fail. A good man will come to you and ask for your input. I don’t know about some women, but I’m tired of stepping into masculine energy, doing everything by myself.
I’m not talking about just monetarily either. My last relationship exhausted me on so many levels. I don’t ever want to go through that again. I’m tired of making ALL the decisions. It’s exhausting. Running a relationship is exhausting. It’s not fun. It’s a lot of responsibility. That I am not equipped as a woman to handle. Decision-making should be mutual or partial depending on what it is.
I see so many couples fight because they can’t agree on anything. And it’s all about who wants the final say. There’s an ego involved here. The king wants to sit on his throne and the woman wants to sit on the kings throne too, LOL. There can only be one King and only one Queen. Only one can wear the pants.
You see where I’m going with this…. I want to know that the man in my life has my back and that comes with trust. No relationship can survive without trust. No matter how much you love someone. Trust is key!! I want a real man to step up and be a real man and take care of me and we take care of each other.
I get to be a woman. Kind, gentle, graceful. I get to relax and be peaceful and bring peace.
Our feminine grace can bring out the masculinity in a man, whether we realize or not. And their masculinity can make us feel like a woman. Yin and Yang is needed (not Yin and Yin or Yang and Yang) Men need us as much as we need them. It’s in a mans nature to provide and do for his woman (and family) but as a woman, you can’t take that from him and try to emasculate him.
As women, we are very, very smart. Men need our vision too and our intuition. We see and feel things that they can’t. We’re pretty awesome at being psychic. God equipped up with some very good qualities, we just need to use them the right way. For good and not for evil and most definitely not for manipulation either.
When you let a good man lead, he’ll want to give you your hearts desire, simply because you trust, love, respect and appreciate him. Oh and don’t forget to stroke his ego too, lol. He’ll start doing more chores around the house too, lol simply because he wants to see you at ease. If a man doesn’t want to provide and take care of you, he’s not a real man, don’t date, marry or make babies with this man-child.
If you are used to being in control, ask yourself what purpose is this serving? Are you happy or bitter? Do you care more about getting your way? Or do you want more love and appreciation? Remember, a relationship is not some club you join for perks or out of loneliness. Remember you’re in a relationship to build something together. To complement someones else’s life, not to be right and get your way.