People come into our lives to teach us lessons and to reflect back to us, who we are and what we need and want and what we don’t want. In my last post, I talked about meeting the same kind of men. How inconsistent they are.
How the men I meet 9/10 are looking for someone to take care of them. I thought to myself, maybe the reason why I keep attracting these men, subconsciously is because my needs are not being met on any level when I am in a relationship.
2 out of my last 3 relationships. My needs were neglected. The men simply did not want to step up and be men. I never realized this because I was independent. I was taught from a very early age, like most women, never to depend on a man for ANYTHING. They don’t know how to love, they don’t know how to provide. They leave. That all they want is sex and to take care of myself. So I avoided men and kept my distance even in a relationship.
My last relationship was the one that really took its toll on me on all levels, because I was doing everything, My ex never had to need or want for anything. But I did. I had to worry about the rent and all the bills and food and everything else I needed. I was a super woman. All the financial responsibility was on me. I realized after we split that every guy I met before him, during a breakup and after him.
Are always coming to me with their needs. That’s because my emotional needs are being neglected and everything that one is innately, suppose to do when in a relationship. No man has ever said to me, you need anything? When they know I need something, it’s very clear. They just make excuses for not helping me or being there.
These men are just reflecting back to me, what I need in a relationship. Relationships are give and take, but some people just want to be on the receiving end and neglect their significant other. Sometimes on purpose. Over time, when your needs are not being met, this teaches you that you’re not worthy, of having the love you deserve and that your needs are not important.
When knowing you need help with something or you know you are being neglected, you suppress what you want and don’t even ask, especially if an argument ensues.
Until I ask for what I want and let it be clear, that this is what I want in a relationship. I’m going to keep attracting grown man babies, LOL. All the things men come at me with. I want someone who is thoughtful and does those things for me too.
Regardless of what they might be. The men that try to get their needs met from me or any other woman, is because their needs are not being met at home. And if you are in a relationship with someone and your needs are not being met, you’re going to attract someone else whose needs are not being met. This is how cheating or affairs start. Two people who are feeling neglected.
But instead of talking things out and not seeming needy and wanting to keep the peace. Cheating seems like a better option. It’s a temporary fix to a long term problem. I meet men who are tired of spending money all the time, going out. They want a home cooked meal, so when they meet a woman who likes to cook. They will try to get that woman to cook for them or try to invite themselves over.
Once again, a need that is not being fulfilled. Men want be listened to and emotionally taken care of too, so when they meet a woman who listens, they feel close and want to express that in a physical way. When I’m in a relationship. I tend to just do everything. I’m very self-sufficient. I don’t ask men for anything. They see that I’m not needy.
Men look at me, as more of a convenience. Someone to make their life better. Rather than who I really am and a long-term partner. We all have needs and wants. If you keep attracting or ending up in relationships, that are not healthy in any way and that do not supply you, with what you need and want. It’s time to do some soul-searching.
Maybe on a deeper level, you feel you are not worthy of love. I know at times I feel that way, with all the shit I been through, but I know that is not true., This is another reason when a man is inconsistent with me and just pops in an out my life, I expect it because it’s something that I’m use to, even though I shouldn’t be.
No one should get used a person walking out on them.
Regardless of what your needs are and your concerns, if you have a loving partner, express to them, how you feel. If they can’t fulfill your needs on any level, then it’s simply time to move on. There are people out there who know what a relationship consist of and will give you what you need.