In life sometimes we try to control things that are simply out of our hands. Not knowing that there is a time and a season for everything and everyone. We try to make that relationship that we know is bad for us work.
We try to control the outcome of someone who is transitioning, to stay and live for our own selfish reasons. We think, if we just love harder and pray harder that things will go our way.
We’re control freaks, admit it we are, even if we don’t say so. Having control makes us feel empowered. It makes us feel like we’re invincible.
There’s nothing wrong with being strong and overcoming adversity, and wanting what you want but we are not God. God is the source of all things. Sometimes it takes hard lessons for one to understand this. And this is simply because we have free will. But God created that too…
So there’s no getting away from the source. God gives the green light. Then when we don’t get what we want. We blame God and other people. Everything in life has a consequence. Good or bad. We can’t stop someone from living a certain lifestyle. No matter how much we love them. We can’t make someone love us no matter how much we love them.
Sometimes it really does take a village, the right kind of community and professionals to step in and do something when love ones can not. Life and death is not up to us, no matter how much we think it is. When someone passes away in your arms, you know you are not in control. But God is. Always has and always will be.
Most people don’t believe in God (a higher power or creator). I would like to know who they think made this earth. Who spoke things into existence. Who made it possible for us to exist as human beings. Who populated this world. The thing is, every one has to believe in something other than themselves. One must believe in a high power. Or else one’s spirit is lost and slowly dies.
Because where we falter as humans, (not falter in a negative way) what we can’t do, we need spiritual guidance. We need help from unseen forces. We need the spiritual world to operate on our behalf, to eliminate whats bad and to bring forth whats good. To work behind the unseen scenes. Every day and all day. We need miracles from God!
My family is going through a crisis. Everyone’s emotions are all over the place. This will be the second time where something devastating, has hit our family and to be honest it could have all been avoided. I don’t even know where to place my emotions. I’m hurt, I’m sad, I’m angry. I think back to when this behavior all started.
I try to find the root of the problem. Because for one to engage in this type of behavior. It has to come from somewhere. Usually in someones childhood. Everything starts at home. Life at home prepares you for the outside world. How to survive. Everyone needs life’s skills. I learned mines early on when I was 6, then when I 10 and started working.
I knew there would come a day where I would have to take care of myself. I didn’t know that day would come when I was 14 when God called my mother home. When someone in your life chooses to go down the wrong path, there’s only but so much you can do. But all of this stems from not knowing any better and a lack of self-love. When we love ourselves we don’t harm ourselves in any way.
It’s not ones fault if they don’t know how, if all they seen was the opposite. Someone has to teach you what love is. Who created love and how to love yourself and others. How to be selfless and not selfish. But most of all, this stems from the absence of God and the absence of a father who failed to lead. What’s happening to my family is happening to countless other families in this world. It’s systemic and needs attention.
Not only that, when you have two broken parents, who simply did not have the tools that they needed in life because they came from broken families. So they raised broken children. This is called PATHOLOGY. At some point it has to end. And it ended with me being the last of 5 siblings and as a female. All the women in my family were and are still broken. All the men are too.
One thing I always held on to was my faith. It’s the only thing that has carried me through, one of the most life altering experience in my life. Faith has kept me from snapping and screaming to the top of my lungs. Faith has kept me peaceful… Silent…Faith has shown me to always choose love, even from a distance. Faith has let me know that there are better days ahead simply because God said so.
I hold on to his word, the same way I need oxygen. It’s the only thing that sustains me. That keeps me going. I can not breathe without him. His love fills me up. At times when I forget, he reminds me with small acts of faith to keep me going…
I know in those moments that I am not separate from him. That God hasn’t forgotten about me. I thank God for my strength. That he has kept me when my life could have turned out far worse. God has grace for us when we simply do not see it for ourselves.
When something is inevitable, does it make you selfish because you want that person to fight and hold on. Or does it make you selfish because you trust in God, to release the suffering. Which one do you choose? Both or just one option? When do you surrender to what is and what is yet to come?
Letting go, surrendering, does not make you a quitter, it does not make you weak. If anything it shows how strong you are. It shows how much faith you have, because you know who holds tomorrow. You know who holds your hand. You fear nothing,…because you know God is with you, with them and always has been.