One Step Forward….Three Steps Back

I came across a very simple post by one of my fellow writers and followers, Morgan Byers. It was about going back and forward in life… It made me think of all the times, I thought I was headed in the right direction and it seemed liked I had taken three steps back.

A friend of mine even said to me, I know it may seem like every time you take a step forward, it seems like you are taken a few steps back. This is the story of my life.. I think it’s the story of everyone’s life. Sometimes in life, you have to go back, but it may also be a step in the right direction.

All of us living this thing called life are trying to figure out. Where we belong, what is our purpose, how do we take care of ourselves and find our way. Just because one goes back to do something, doesn’t mean they failed. Maybe there is something back there, that they need to get, some information, some answers, some knowledge, maybe even some money in order to move forward.

There have been times when I have said “no more corporate america, I’m done…that life of mine is over”…then there have been times when I had to go back, because I had to live. It was either that or be on the street. I felt like a failure, going back to a job I hated. I thought I’d outgrown that line of work. I got tired of being around a whole bunch of tight asses.

I felt like once again, I was putting my passion for a creative career on the shelf. I had to find another way of looking at it. I had to see it as, just because I’m here, doesn’t mean I’m going to retire here. It’s only temporary. I’m just here to make my money, until I can do what I really want to do.

When I tried to go back to doing the kind of work recently, the holy spirit spoke to me and God said “No, it’s time to move on”. No matter how much I tried, it was not happening. The same thing happened when I tried to move back to my old condo, “God said no again”, lol. You would think after the 6th time I would have got the hint, LOL :).

I maybe a Cancer but I was stubborn like a bull-headed Taurus…I just wanted to be comfortable and have a simple life. I even felt that way about a relocating…I’m finally in the state where I want to build my life and it seems like nothing is working out. But God sent me an angel.

although I feel alone, no friends..I know I’ll find my way. I question did I make the right move, should I move to another state or back where I’m comfortable, to make my life easier. I know the answer is no. I know that comfort can be one hell of a drug. And that it can paralyze you just like fear and worry.

I know that when you ask for change, you better be ready for when God shows up.

All I know is that there are ebbs and flows in life and even when it seems like I’m taking a step back, it might be a step forward in the right direction. Every time I thought I was being held back, it was actually leading me right where I needed to be, I just couldn’t see it at the time.

Whatever choices we make in life, we have to deal with the outcome of it, but it’s really how we look at it. There are things that I may say no to now, but if the opportunity comes and I have to move, then so be it! I’m single. I don’t have kids so I can do it. If that’s where God want me to be, then that’s where I’ll be.

All I need to do is simply trust God, who’s in control of every part of my life and simply trust the process.

 

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