Money…..we all need it right? Money is not everything but money makes life easier. When you start to share your life with someone, even when you are in the beginning stages. The topic of money will come up at some point. So many people are avoiding the topic about money and it’s taking a toll on their relationship.
I don’t care how much you love or like someone. If one of you doesn’t have money or have their finances in order. It will become a problem. Have money for yourself, first and foremost, not for a man or a woman. Money makes you feel secure. I don’t feel good when I’m going through something and my finances are a little shaky.
I like having my own money, even when it’s just sitting there. I’m the type that while in a relationship or dating. I like to be able to treat my man. make him feel special. I feel good and like to contribute. If I was married, my spouse should feel secure that if something happened, like a job loss or injury, that as his wife. I have has his back. Men feel pressure to solely provide all the time.
95% of women will not even talk to a guy. If he doesn’t have a job or doing something to produce an income. Women measure everything buy a mans finances, (it’s very true) even when they have their own. Men are starting to do the same thing. I’ve met men that will not talk to a woman, or have anything to do with a woman if she is not financially stable.
I made the mistake a time or two… telling a telling a guy I was going through something and they never wanted to see me, and flat-out told me in a dear john letter. I didn’t want to date while going through something. I was honest and said I’m trying to fix my finances. Maybe they thought I was like the other women they dated.
Who used them for money. This is why when I’m going through something I don’t feel the need to mention it, because I know men. They exit real quick. I never asked these men for anything. We weren’t even dating. These very same men use the word love, so quick but was not willing to do anything to help me out in any way. Love does not pay the rent, mortgage or gas money.
Men now a days are looking for a woman to contribute financially. Like really contribute and share the same bank account. They want whatever money a woman makes, to love them enough to share it with them. A lot of women are not doing that. They feel the old school ways still remain the same. A man’s money is their money.
Before one starts talking about sharing a bank account. You need to make sure that the person you decide to share money with, has a healthy relationship with money. If one of you likes to save and the other one doesn’t that’s going to be a big problem. If one of you pays bills in advance and on time and the other one doesn’t then that’s going to lead to arguments.
I learned very quickly in my last relationship that me and my ex had no financial future together. He was horrible with his finances. I had no clue, until he move in on me. I thank God I found this out before a ring, marriage or a baby or anything that would have bonded us for life. I love to budget, save. Pay bills in advance, had good credit and he was the opposite.
Had I made the mistake and overlooked this, I would have been in debt for the rest of my life. He had the mentality, that my money was his money and his money was his money. I had to act like I was broke just to save money. So many women I know are in bad relationships because they thought the man in their life would take care of them. They thought a mans money was their security.
They automatically assumed that because he is a man, that he would take care of everything. These very same women realized their significant other is horrible with saving. Some that are married don’t even share the same account, for fear their husbands will spend all of their money. When your mate makes a huge purchase or financial decision, without consulting you. It’s hard not to feel betrayed.
Both men and women want to feel secure when it comes to money even if its one-sided. They want to know that someone has their back financially, but the only way to make sure. Is to have the talk and to make sure you and your partner are on the same page. A family can survive off of one income if both parties have a good relationship with money. Now a days it takes two incomes to be able to live.
If you want a stable financial future, a family, or a house one day. Make sure you have the money talk. If not stay single if you have a bad relationship with money and don’t respect money. Or if you just want to spend it however you want to spend it. Both you and your significant other should talk about how money is going to be spent and how it is going to be delegated.
You should enjoy the money you make. Set aside money to treat yourself every now and then. To treat each other, but not to the point where you have to pay with credit cards for everything just to stay afloat. Money is the reason a lot of people break up and get divorce. If you love the person you are with and you see a future with them.
Then have the money talk. Maybe you can teach your partner about being financially responsible. I keep seeing so many shows with men bringing their spouses on tv because they are spending too much. One woman I saw on the Steve Harvey show, she quit her job, to pursue real estate. Her husband was supportive but then the money he made, she was giving it to family members and helping them out.
She knew how it felt to not have and be poor and to need help and she was helping out family enabling them at her husbands expense. As the head of the house, he should have put a stop to it. They were almost headed for divorce. Be smart. share your life with someone who is organized and loves to save money.