Our relationship traumatized us so much, we wonder if we could ever love that hard again. When your relationship starts to feel like a job you can’t stand to go to every day, you know it’s time to end things.
The right relationship could complement your life on so many levels when it’s right. But while you wait for that special man or woman.
Enjoy being single while it last. As much as I want love, I’m in no rush to be with a man who wants to act like my father. Who wants to be controlling. Who wants to pull disappearing acts. Who raises doubt in my mind, consistently. It’s just a red flag to me, because I KNOW I deserve more.
There are so many perks to being single that one may overlook. Being that I’m a free spirit, in my last relationship, I was not ready to live with my ex. We never even spoke about it and it ruined our relationship. It was awkward telling him he had to leave.
I was not prepared to live with anybody. I really enjoyed living alone and still do. The next man I date would have to be pretty damn special in order for me to give that up. When you are single, you get to work on yourself in every way. You get to figure out where you want to be in life.
If you want to go back to school, you can. If you want to explore the world you can. You get to go on vacation by yourself. You can come home anytime you want to. You get to have peace and quiet. You have the freedom to make any decision you want, without consulting with anyone.
Whether we realize it or not, a relationship can hold you back, if you are not with the right partner. You’ll find yourself putting off things, that you would have said yes to if you were single. Of course at times we all get lonely and we want to snuggle up with someone, now and then but not on a long-term basis.
But some of us long to have our freedom while in a relationship. All the people I know wish they were single. They keep telling me , “don’t get married, don’t have kids, they wish they would have waited” They never knew the person they were marrying, because they rushed.
When you are single, there are fewer headaches, less worrying. You don’t have to worry about why the guy/girl you are talking to, is not answering your calls for days or weeks or even months. You don’t have to worry about being questioned about your whereabouts. Less money is being spent. Relationships can cost, I can testify to that like so many others.
I don’t have to worry about being an ATM. I get to save more money. My apartment stays clean. My grocery bill is much more smaller. I don’t have to worry about being responsible for someone else indirectly.
I get to have the whole bed to myself and sleep in :). I can walk around naked if I want to, ha ha…:). I can use the bathroom when I want to and not have to feel like I’m waiting in line at a public restroom. I don’t have to worry about running out of toilet paper, shampoo, soap, toothpaste etc.
I don’t have to worry about anyone waking me up, to go anywhere or to do anything. I don’t have to worry about anyone snoring or hogging up the covers. When in a relationship one can become sleep deprived. If the two of you get up at different times or if one is a night owl.
I know they say everyone is different (yeah right…..where?? on planet Neptune, lol. Maybe I need to go there)… but my ex (and men I never dated) left me traumatized, about living with someone again. I thought at one point I would have to burp this grown ass man, lol…When you are single, you don’t have to worry about being “ON” all the time.
For the life of me, I don’t understand why men keep thinking I’m their mother. My nurturing ways keep backfiring on me. Before you decide to give up your freedom and single status for another. See if it’s worth it or not. See if you can even deal with certain things on a long-term basis.
I know exactly what I want and don’t want. I’m not looking for perfect but I don’t want to be with someone who causes me stress to the point where I can’t wait to get away from them. Men are always telling me, I would be easy to be in a relationship with and to live with..but will they be easy to live with??. So far the answer is NO…NO and NO.
Believe it or not people change when you live with them. Regardless of where you are in your life, do not feel pressured to live with someone or to be a couple up unless it feels right. If you have doubts about someone or something and if you have to ask, then the answer is no. If you’re a person who dates…enjoy meeting new people.
Never try to find yourself in someone. Make sure this person is able to give 200% just like you. Never ever settle for a one-sided relationship. Focus on becoming a better Love yourself first, know who you are. Have a full life, that way when that special person does comes along, you can share how full and happy you are and hopefully they will do the same.