Communication…. Communication…. Communication…. How very important it is… When it comes to any relationship. A friend of mine asked me to write an article about, “why when a man is busy, why does a woman think it’s another woman?” Hmmm..
I wonder did he read what he just wrote before he wrote it?? LOL….. The same way a man think it’s another man, when a woman just drops off the face of the earth and doesn’t respond or her energy changes..
Not once does a man stop to think. Is my actions making her feel insecure? If so, let me acknowledge that, because if I love this woman, I do not want to make her feel insecure about anything. Let me communicate with her, give her my time. Especially if that’s all she’s asking for. When your significant other does not feel right about something, you should feel it, especially if they are reaching out to you.
No one likes to feel ignored or invisible, whether it’s on purpose or not. People want to know they matter. People don’t want their time wasted and if someone takes time out of their life, that they can never get back, it would be respectful and considerate to acknowledge them and respond. At least say something not just NOTHING at All.
What men fail to realize is that, it’s their inconstancy that raises a red flag. It just does and vice versa. When someone shows you a side of themselves and then they just stop. You’re left wondering. Whats going on? When their words don’t equal their actions. You wonder. When someone stops calling you out of nowhere, doesn’t respond to any communication for weeks or doesn’t come by to see you, what would you think?? La otra mujer….or he’s just not interested.
When a man/woman acts likes he’s so into you then stops, you’re like ok, someone else has your time. Because why would you just STOPPED! and expect me to think, oh he/she is just busy, NO. That’s not realistic. you can’t tell someone you love them 4 times a year and expect them to feel it, when you have not spoken to them or seen them, what planet are we living on, where they do that at???
When a man tells me he loves me, I expect him to show it, I expect to see and hear from him ….. Men…don’t you want a woman to show you that she loves and appreciates you? Suppose your woman ignored all your communication. You wouldn’t like it. You wouldn’t think, oh my lady is just busy..BULLSHIT!! LOL… You better answer the got damn phone or acknowledge my communication, lol… Don’t lie and say you would be that understanding.
Not only that, when you don’t hear from someone, you worry, it’s normal. A man being with a woman is the last thing that pops up, if I don’t hear from you in days. I’m like is this person ok? I think we should appreciate those who take time out, to show they care and check up on us. Not ignore them and brush them off. Not take their love for granted because not everyone is going to be like that.
When I put in time with someone, I’m expecting to give it a shot if it’s mutual, if not, I’ll move on, but don’t make me think we have something, when we don’t because you can’t make up your mind. Do not confuse me. It’s not right or fair. Communicate with me. Me and my male friend, we get a long great when we talk, I think we could be great partners in business (and maybe some other areas) but this attraction thing is getting in the way.
Men sometimes really do not think about their actions and how it may make a woman feel. Silence and no communication does not tell me, that you love and care about me. That doesn’t tell me our love is solid and that we have something special by you ignoring me. Women equate time, no matter how long or short it is, with how much a man cares and loves them and his effort.
How am I or any other woman suppose to know, if a man cares by his silence. By his mystery. By his lack of acknowledgment when a woman reaches out. Ok, I send you a text, no response… a couple of hours go by, if you don’t text, you can call. But neither?! It’s not like you have to respond to everything but NOTHING at all. Really?!
I recall one time I didn’t answer the phone and It was 4 am and my friend thought I went to go have a quickie, LOL. I was shocked by this, especially since we didn’t even meet yet….I realized this man was not thinking of me as a “friend”. I did not answer and all of sudden I was sleeping with someone. I say that to say, our thoughts or insecurities get the best of us. He was so used to me picking up the phone.
I wish I could say the same because he never answers, that’s why I don’t call. He said to me one time, when I have to get off the phone or don’t answer, you must think I’m with someone and I said actually I don’t. If we’re friends, my mind shouldn’t even be going there. I believe it’s exactly what he says. I believe a person and trust,…. until you show me different. If you don’t want me to think a certain way, don’t switch up on me, don’t be inconsistent with me.
I know how this sounds, like a one-sided relationship and your exactly right,…funny thing is, I’m not in a relationship with this guy, LOL…but there is something in the air, I wish I knew what it was, lol… I can’t be in a relationship with a man who refuses to acknowledge my communication or my feelings and just act like I don’t exist. I CAN’T be in a relationship with a man who wants everything his way and only see’s his POV.
A relationship consist of two people, mutual reciprocity, communication, which I am very big on. When you’re in a relationship, you make time to see each other, not string each other along.. I don’t like things lingering. If we have a misunderstanding, lets talk it out. Let me know where I stand. If you say you love me, SHOW IT! Don’t just SAY IT! Your words and actions need to coincide with one another.
Don’t expect me to know you love me. When I havent heard from you in WEEKS and have not SEEN you in MONTHS! That’s not a relationship, Darling….Especially in this day and age when we are all connected to our phones and we text and we don’t get a response back to anything. Unless it’s what they want to respond to. I have goals too and I’m busy too, aren’t we all. No one is above anybody.
But you have plenty of people who are busy and MAKE time, because they want to. A real woman will respect a busy man. He’s out there grinding. I prefer a busy man, because my ex was a lazy SOB, lol. He had to go, but a busy man can not neglect his woman (or family) and expect her loyalty and for her to know they have something solid. Men you must communicate, stop making excuses for neglecting your woman.
Ok so your consistent at being inconsistent?? Hmmm (insert confused emoji face, lol) at least there’s some consistency right??!! LOL Right?? Wrong!…
It’s not far-fetched for you to think, maybe they moved on. Men accuse me all the time of sleeping with someone and not being celibate or dating or having male friends, and I’m not even dating these men, lol. They can’t understand why I’m single and think I’m lying. Can you see why I’m single, because I don’t want an inconsistent man. Funny thing is, they are the ones who are married or taken.
For me that’s a last resort a man having someone else. A man can be busy, it’s his inconsistency that I don’t like or want. I was telling my friend, he’s not the only busy person in the world. We make time for people that we really want to talk to or spend time with. We’re all on our grind to make a way for ourselves in this world. Time is precious but that’s not all life is about.
I know when a man is avoiding me or when something is off, it can’t be work 24/7. This very same man spent 4 hours on the phone with me, emailed me, texted me, right away and called me back when he said. He was a man of his word, even 10 times in one day and we laughed about it, so please, don’t give me that “busy card” I’m not trying to hear it, LOL. Really, that’s not going to fly with me.
I understand it can’t be this way all the time, two people would have to be rich and have time on their hands to do so, but that’s not what I want, someone who doesn’t have a life. It’s like if we’re going to be together , you have to put in effort. I can’t be the only one communicating and trying to see you, of course I’m going to think, you’re with someone. Anybody would especially if you act like you can’t make any time for me AT ALL!!!
I need a man to be a man of his word. Just the same way a man wants a woman, to be a woman of her word and to have her loyalty. You can’t do the least amount of work and expect the most out of a relationship or one that hasn’t even started yet. You can’t ask of someone to do and be something that you are not yourself. You can’t be selfish!
If you can’t be the man or woman that a person needs you to be,….if you can’t love them the way they need to be loved…if you can’t keep your word and your word is your bond, followed by action…if you can’t be consistent with your emotions and make an effort with your time, if you can’t make that person feel love and feel special and make them a priority at times….by all means please do not waste their time.
Do not string them along. Let them know whats the deal and where they stand. They deserve it. Do not stand in the way of someone else coming into their life and loving them the way they deserve, because you want to be selfish. If you have a good thing.. act like you know and man and woman up.. before someone else steps in and takes away someone who is rare and genuine.