Just Because They Couldn’t Love You, Doesn’t Mean You Aren’t Loveable

img_0519Let me ask you something, when was the last time you looked yourself in the mirror and knew that you were lovable? That you knew you are a beautiful spirit that deserved the utmost love and respect.

That you deserve the kind of love that makes you feel like you are floating on cloud 9. The kind of love that you know you want, that kind of love that makes you want to be a better person.

I get so tired of people thinking that just because the man or woman they loved, that didn’t have the courage to love them back, thinking that they are not lovable. They think that out of all the people on this planet, that that’s the only person who is ever going to love them or that they want love from.

Incase no one has told you, you are lovable. I get it… when our heart wants what it wants it just does. It hard to accept the reality that some people don’t know how to love. Some people are not ready for love. Don’t fret. Do yourself a favor and be glad, they are not loving you. Their half-ass love wasn’t meant for you, because you are not a half-ass person.

They are just clearing room for Mr. and Mrs. Right to come into your life. You know the kind of love you deserve. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in some ones life and to love you. I don’t know how many times I can say this over and over.

Love is not complicated people are. Relationships are not hard. People make them difficult.

I know unrequited love hurts. It does. We’ve all been there. We express ourself to some one and we use the word LOVE, because we actually mean it, but then the other person kills us with their silence an inaction. I know I’m tired of men telling me they love me and being emotionally unavailable.

I’m tired of men saying they love me, when they haven’t even seen me in person or talked to me in days or months. Some people are in love with the idea of you. They are infatuated. I don’t play with the world love. When I say I love you, I mean it and I back it up. Men not so much so now a days.

The men that tell me they love me after a couple of hours, days or months haven’t really spent any time with me to love me. They are just using the word love to attempt to get what they want. I never believe them. I’m like ok, you used this word, now show it. Then they can’t. They ghost or they forgot they had a wife or girlfriend or kids. It just sounds nice to say in the moment.

Some people expect you to know they love you, when they don’t call you, speak to you, don’t make any effort to see you. Your communication is met with silence. They never want to address your emotions or anything you want to talk about, but yet they claim to love you. When you love someone you communicate. You express yourself. You listen with an open heart.

This can’t be the new love.

When you love someone, you show it. You see them, you talk to them. You make your presence known. You can’t be like….”I’m going to show her how much I love her by not talking to her, ignoring her, not seeing her and giving her any attention or putting in any effort, but I still want her to think we have something and that we’re more than friends.” Really?! Is this the new love??

This is what men are doing now and I’m not really feeling them on this. I don’t have to settle and neither should you. This is why I don’t date. I know that I’m lovable. I know that when I do decide to be in a relationship. I’m going to make some man very happy, because I know how to love. I’m cognizant of why I want to complement someones life and it’s not for selfish reasons.

People who say I love you and don’t show it, they are probably used to saying that word so many times and getting what they want. Some people are in love with the idea of love, then they realize oh shit!! Love is a verb? “Damn, I said I love this man or woman, now I have to show it?” I never knew that was part of love.” Well…. news flash it is!!!!

Don’t let someone who toys with your emotions and heart, that strings you along then doesn’t have the courage to man or woman up and tell you, that there is no you and them. Make you feel like you are not lovable. You had the courage to open your heart, they didn’t. It was easier for them to ghost and ignore you, because they weren’t courageous for the passion that burned deeply inside of you.

Why Every Man Should Fall In Love With A Woman, Who Loves To Write And Read

img_0966I think every man should fall in love and get to know a woman who writes and reads and here’s why. A woman who writes and reads, shows that she’s in-depth. She’s a visionary.

Thats she’s passionate about everything in her life. She’s not going to look to you for the things you have. Your words, effort and presence is comforting enough.

This kind of woman wants to get to know you on a soul level. She will listen to you. A woman who writes, will want to know every thing about you.

From what makes you happy to what makes you sad. Your passions will become her passions. Your pain will become her pain. You’ll become a book to her and she’ll want to read every chapter.

Your love is free to express itself. She will pay attention to the things you do not say. This kind of woman is very intuitive. She will care about your feelings. She is very in-tuned with your energy. A woman who writes, will always be curious about your life. Her mind will always be challenging.

A woman who writes and reads will always have in-depth conversations with you. You will never get bored. She will make you think which is a beautiful thing. She’ll makes you see things in a way you never thought of. Words to her are like music lyrics, always telling a story.

For she knows their is a story behind your melody. She will not be void of emotion. Ask her she feels about you and she will tell you. She’ll tell you the truth. This woman is not a half ass woman. Her silence means she’s thinking. Always searching for the right words and editing them before they leave her mouth.

She will feel every word you say with passion and vibration. When you date a writer, they see past the surface. They are curious about everything. They feel everything is connected. A woman who uses her mind, will always search for solutions when a problem arises. She has an insatiable thirst and hunger for knowledge and for words.

A woman who writes uses her senses. The get infused in her bloodstream slowly giving her a high. Your words are delectable to her she can taste it, touch it, see it, hear it. A woman who writes will always challenge you and make you a better man.

Be careful with this kind of woman.. she is rare, she’s not going to take your shit. You can’t run game on this type of woman and be inconsistent and expect her not to notice. What she gives she wants in return. If you have no plans on getting to know this woman on a deeper level or loving this woman, simply leave her alone.

img_0972

I’m not saying women who don’t write are not as in-depth, but there is something about a woman who writes and reads…her creativity and imagination with words comes to life. She’s a dreamer. words appear on her skin like braille.

A woman who writes is strong, she thinks about her words before they leave her mouth. She’s peaceful, she’s quiet. She’s not argumentative. Her words and her presence is very nurturing. This kind of woman, you can feel safe with, so don’t be scared.

Her love is not meant to harm but bring out your sensitive masculinity. You can let down your guard with a woman who writes. She will not judge you and have your best interest at heart. She’s protective. No harm will come to you if she can prevent it with her armor of love.

A woman who writes is very intelligent, she knows the power of her words and only wants to lift your spirit not break it. If you quarrel with a her, she will want to kiss and make up. She believes times is to precious and just wants to love you and see you happy. Because seeing you happy makes her happy.

Her communication is effective and meticulous. A woman who writes, her word is her bond. She will not say things and not back it up with action. This kind of woman knows how to love and make love. Her world of words, as soon as she thinks of it, she wants to make it a reality.

A woman who writes is very simple. You can take her for a walk on the beach, plan a picnic or a simple home cooked meal. For she likes to stay home. Simple things make her happy. Your heart is safe with a woman who writes. So talk to her, be gentle, be kind, don’t deflect a conversation when she wants to know how you feel. Don’t let her slip away if you find her.

Why You Should Try A Long Distance Relationship Once In Your Life

img_0953Most people when they are searching for love limit themselves to where love should reside. They want someone in the same state or that lives within a certain distance.

Anything over 30 minutes they write it off. What most people don’t realize is that love can be anywhere in the world. And if you really want to be with that person you will find a way to make it work.

I think everyone should try a long distance relationship, once in their life and here’s why:

When you meet someone, your goal should be, to get to know them as a person. Most people when they meet someone all they are focused on is the physical. If you are really serious about love, you will focus on friendship.

In a long distance relationship, you get to fall in love with someone’s personality. You get to fall in love with them on a soul level. You get to know them on a deeper level without sex clouding your judgement.

Long distance relationships teaches you about patience and delayed gratification. Two people’s souls should be on fire when they see each other. The only way for some and at least for me, is the distance. I’m a firm believer that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Most of my relationships have been long distance and it has been the greatest experiences of my life. I believe that when two people want to be together, although they are far apart and have their own life, that in order to make it work, that communication is key.

If you don’t like talking on the phone and you if you need someone there every day, then of course a long distance relationship is not going to work for you. But if you want love, you have to be willing to try something different. Ideal conventional ways do not always work.

With the way technology is today, you can Skype, FaceTime, text and talk on the phone. I choose the latter. There is nothing like hearing someone’s voice rather than a text message. If you can’t see that person in the flesh, the next best thing is to hear their voice.

Long distance relationships may not work for everyone, because you may want to see that person and touch them which is normal. Some people start thinking once they finally do meet, all the things that can go wrong. But what about all the things that can go right?!

The only thing that doesn’t make sense to me is, when you finally do meet someone and it still feels like you’re in a long distance relationship, especially if you live in the same state. Been there.. done that, not doing that again. I’ll let that marinate….

In order to make a long distance relationship work, you have to be an effective communicator. You have to not be afraid to be by yourself. I’m one of those women, since I’m introverted. I’m in no rush to be in love nor am I looking for someone to complete me, because I’m already complete and whole. Love takes time.

Long distance relationships works best for me, because I enjoy my space. I’m to much of a free spirit to be tied down on a daily basis. I’m not looking to settle down just yet. A relationship is a want not a need. A relationship does not define me and it’s separate from my being.

A relationship can only complement me and vice versa. A relationship should only add to your life, not take away from it. I tend to meet men that are creatives in some way. Those relationships work best for me, because they are busy. I don’t need to see someone every single day. Although keeping is contact is crucial.

You can’t not see someone and say I love you and you’re my woman (or man) and you haven’t seen or talked to them in months. But put a claim on them. Thats not a relationship. I know that they have a life and are living it and so am I. When we do get to spend time, we can catch up. Anticipating each other will make that passion come alive.

Most people they need someone there every day but truth is, it’s hard living with someone. My last relationship failed because we lived together. When he was in another state and we saw each other quite often it lasted longer. I never planned on living with him but he wanted to live with me.

I never planned on being his mother either and taking care of him, uugh yeahhh, lol. There is nothing wrong with wanting space in a relationship. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other, it just means that you want solitude. When someone is in your face every single day and you see them.

You lose that passion. You lose that spark. You start craving variety and spontaneity. Happens all the time. Yeah you may have met the guy or girl at the club, now you are wanting to go back there to get away from them. Just because you love someone, doesn’t mean you have to see them every single day.

If you do decide to live with someone, that person has to be so easy to love and be around that you can’t wait to come home to them. Their love will not feel like it’s smothering you. I’m not sure if I will ever live with a man again. I keep meeting needy and clingy men who want to dominate me and that’s not going to work for me.

I will fall out of love with you real quick. I need a man who doesn’t have too much time on his hands but makes time for his woman. Who wants to hear about my day and calls me to say good morning and goodnight. Someone who checks up on from time to time.

Long distance relationships and a person who has outside interest, is the best choice for me, because I don’t want to have to worry about things that normal couples have to worry about. I don’t have to check in with anyone and ask for permission indirectly when I want to go somewhere.

I get to focus on myself and building my life and sharing my life with someone but not solely depending on them for my every need. It would be nice to know that I have someone in my life who will take care of me, when I need it. But there is strength in being alone.

I can preserve my heart, body and soul for one individual most people can’t. A man will never have to worry about me cheating because he’s not around. I don’t crave physical connection as much as I crave a mental soul connection. There is no such things as to much space.

I’m perfectly fine with talking and being consistent. If you are a person who wants love and you have your own life. Try dating someone in another state. Be open because the love plan God has for you, may not appear the way you want it. Remember love is not possessing one another. Love is freedom and should happen organically.

13 Things She’s Done Dealing With Because She Has Something Called Standards

Unsplash, Allef Vinicius1. Laziness. She’s not going to plan out all the dates, initiate all the phone calls, and lead all the conversations. She’s not going to be the one doing all the work, putting in all the effort. Not anymore. 2. Mixed signals. You’re either willing to commit to her or you aren’t. Stop leaning one way…

via 13 Things She’s Done Dealing With Because She Has Something Called Standards — Thought Catalog

If You’re On The Fence About How You Feel About Her, Read This

brandonwoelfel You know how she feels. She makes it obvious every time you’re around her. With her, nothing is every complicated but so simple. There aren’t games and you know you could have her if you wanted at the snap of a finger. I know all guys like the chase. They like someone who is…

via If You’re On The Fence About How You Feel About Her, Read This — Thought Catalog

6 Things You Shouldn’t Feel Bad About Expecting In Your Relationships

 

I’m Priscilla1. Respect This is non-negotiable. If your partner cares about you, he/she will treat you with respect. That means a basic understanding and appreciation for your values and beliefs, even if he/she doesn’t always agree. That means letting you have your voice and stand your ground. That means treating you as a human being…

via 6 Things You Shouldn’t Feel Bad About Expecting In Your Relationships — Thought Catalog

The Power Of Friendship: Don’t Miss Out On A Good Person, Just Because You Want More

Let’s face it, sometimes friendship relationships are impossible when it comes to the opposite sex. Don’t tell me it’s not possible, because it is. It may not be possible for you, in particular as a man, because you can’t control your hormones. Maybe it’s because you NEVER really tried to have a real friendship with a woman. Maybe every woman you wind up talking to, you ended up in bed with them or not.

NEWS FLASH MEN: NOT EVERY WOMAN YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE YOU HAVE TO HAVE.

Women are not off the hook here, because I know some women that can’t be friends with men either. When some women become friends with a guy, it’s wrong that they string them along. They come across a guy that they know, likes them and they use that to their advantage. To get free dinners, go out on dates and to get the guy to buy them things.

NEWS FLASH WOMEN: NOT EVERY MAN YOU MEET, IS AN ATM OR FINANCIAL PLAN.

I’m not saying all men and women think like this, but the majority of them do. That is not the reason you become and maintain a friendship with the opposite sex. A lot of people are missing out on the true essence of a good person, because they want more right away and they are overlooking real friendship.

People are missing out on getting to know a person on a deeper level. They could be missing out on a potential life partner. There is nothing wrong with finding someone attractive and taking a liking to someone. But there is power in patience and in friendship. The only way to find out if there could possibly be more on any level is to be a friend first.

Friendship has a lot of power in it and great benefits too, that most people overlook. That’s because some people only want to be friends until they get what they want. They have ulterior motives. That’s not what friendship is for. Real friendship has a special kind of deep love attach to it. The kind of love that’s unconditional.

The kind of friendship where two people respect each other. No matter if they disagree. Friendship is saying you’re sorry when you are wrong because you want peace. The kind of friendship that even when you go months or even years without talking, you pick up right where you left off. The kind of friendship where two people listen to each other.

The kind of deep love that you want to see each other happy and successful. When you have a loyal friend, that has your back, that’s compassionate. Please don’t screw that up by being an asshole. It’s hard to find real people, who genuinely just want to give and be there for you. Someone you can trust as a confidant. Friendship is reciprocal it’s not selfish.

I’m the kind of woman who really values friendship. Like really values friendship. When I say I’m your friend, I don’t take that title lightly. I’m not going to just be in your life, just to be in it. I want to add to your life, not take away from it. We are all here on this planet to be of service to one another.

There are people in my life past and present, that know that they can depend on me no matter what. No matter if they have wronged me in some way. They know I’ve forgiven them. For we are all human, but I do have my limits. I don’t have to accept you back in my life because I chose to forgive.

People know that they can talk to me, because I’m an effective communicator. I listen. Let me repeat that, I LISTEN. Which is what most people don’t do. I listen to hear what people are not saying. Especially when it comes to men. That’s why a lot of men talk to me, from a distance that is. In my face, they can not express themselves.

I’m no male whisperer, lol. But I do understand men. I’m no mind reader but I am very intuitive and for some men no matter how old they are, they have a problem with expressing how they feel when it comes to a woman. I lost track of the men that have told me by way of email, text, phone and social media that they were into me but never in my face.

It’s too vulnerable for them. Men don’t want to appear sensitive. They think that’s only for women. When that’s exactly what a woman needs in a relationship. A woman needs a man to be vulnerable. She needs you to be her friend. But with vulnerability comes trust. If a man doesn’t trust a woman, he’s not going to let down his guard.

When a man connects with a woman on a mental level. They want to connect on a physical level. When it comes to communicating, listening is a part of communicating. Some men (and women) have a problem with listening too. That’s only because of the male ego. Some of the men I know are so proud, they never apologize.

They think they know everything. They don’t listen. They want to speak first and jump to conclusions. That’s because men on a hierarchy level are natural born leaders. So with that, they take it to a whole other level. It’s very narcissistic in a way. For men, it can take them a long time to say the words I’m sorry. Why I don’t know.

Men don’t like to feel like they are wrong and they want to be in control, that’s not being a leader. That’s being an narcissist. No one knows everything, no matter how much experience you have or how old you are. When you are friends with someone and you know how to be a friend. You set your ego aside. Egos in friendships ruins your relationship.

No one want to be friends with someone, when everything is one-sided and one persons ego is in the way. In friendship you listen with your heart. You get to know someone. In friendship you get to find out the type of person this is. If you have anything in common. If want to go through life with this person.

In friendship you know and recognize, that God sent this person to be with you in life, no matter how long they stay. You recognize what a blessing and privilege it is to have this genuine rare soul in your life. People have to stop looking at others as something they can use and then dispose of.

More and more people are single when they want love and they are unhappy because they are bypassing friendship. If they are in a relationship and they are unhappy. Somewhere along the way, they forgot how to reconnect with the friendship part of their relationship. Or maybe they were never really friends to begin with, they just jumped into a relationship.

Then they found out, this person is not who I thought they were. This person does not respect me or have my back. When you hit a rough patch in your relationship, if you can return back to that friendship, you can get through anything. But you have to be willing to work at it. In friendship you can fall in love all over again. In friendship you can evolve.

You can rediscover who you are. Knowing you have support and someone who is always in your corner. The next time you meet someone and you want to maintain communication or be in their life. Be a friend first. Don’t miss out on the love of your life and someone who could really love and care for you by bypassing friendship.

It can be the best love you’ll ever know and will experience. Be open to friendship because we all need that one good friend in our life. God is love! Namaste!