You ever try to act like you don’t care about something, when you know in your heart that you really do. When something is bothering you, you have no choice but to feel it. It’s easy for people to say “let that shit go, move on, don’t worry about him or her or whatever is bothering you, that you need to get off your chest”. But truth is, it’s your feelings and your feelings are valid.
A man once told me, “I read enough of your words to know that you are, the most passionate person I’ve ever experienced and you give a damn about people’s feelings. Most women don’t”. Funny thing about those words is, I wish I felt the same way when it comes to men.
I wish I could feel the same passion and concern. I wonder if I care about your feelings, why don’t you care about mine and you constantly avoid my feelings and don’t address them. But the answer is simple, you avoid your own. You stay silent. Just constant diversion and avoiding communication.
A person can be concerned, as long as it’s not about them, but as soon as I voice my feelings about what someone is doing, that I’m not ok with. I’m met with silence and I’m negative out of nowhere. Then I start to feel attacked for feeling, but then someone is telling me I’m attacking them and I’m not. Instead of answering the questions I asked.
The conversation becomes completely about something else. Talk about getting out of addressing the issue at hand!!!! Some people will go out of their way to not confront how other people feel. That is because they avoid how they feel. It’s just constant suppression.
Can they really be this cold and heartless and without emotion. I don’t think so. What is so uncomfortable with feeling and expressing yourself. If you don’t want others to feel a certain way, then check your feelings too. Be honest and real. No one is a mind reader. Open your mouth.
Don’t ignore or suppress how you feel. But don’t dwell on it either. Sit with your discomfort and see what it is teaching you. Ask yourself, why don’t you like this? Why do you care? Do whatever you need to do, to come to a conclusion about your own feelings.
Did you say something you shouldn’t have? Did you get a reaction that came out of nowhere. Ask. Be inquisitive with your own thoughts and feelings. Know where it is coming from. Before you let it go, you need to know that it’s ok to feel what you feel.
I can’t stand when people make me feel like I’m wrong for feeling what I feel. They never stop to think about how their actions are making me feel this way. Questions deserve answers. It doesn’t make you combative. It doesn’t mean you are attacking someone because you want understanding and you want to communicate.
Truth is people will always find a way to deflect confrontation, by turning the tables on you and making it seem like you are in the wrong and they are the victims, because you want answers. Expressing yourself is not attacking someone. People who never give you answers, are emotional void but they’ll disagree they aren’t.
They just don’t want to deal with your emotions or their own. So they’ll act like your feelings are not valid and they’ll try to make you think, you are wrong for feeling what you feel. Instead acknowledging how you feel, being compassionate, they dismiss it and say your just being emotional. They should say, I’m sorry you feel this way and lets talk it out.
Most misunderstandings can easily be cured with communication. But in order for that to happen it takes two.
Don’t blame yourself, for loving, for caring, for feeling, remember you are human. We all have emotions and some are just better at silencing theirs. I need to know how people feel, but when other don’t want to express themselves, for whatever I just have to be ok with that, even though I may feel I deserve an answer, especially if I’m expressing myself.
I don’t leave people with doubts, with questions marks as big as the sky. For what?? I treat people the way I want to be treated. I let people know how I feel, so they know where they stand. It would be nice if I got the same back in return, but hey life is not fair and people in hell want ice water right, LOL..
The thing is, you have to be a person that’s big on communication. If you’re not, there will always be questions marks. Some people are just emotionally unavailable. They don’t want to be emotionally available, because that means that they have to be vulnerable and they don’t want to be, it’s scary for them, to get in-depth about their emotions.
Someone made it unsafe for them to feel. Never be with someone who raises doubts and confusion 99% of the time. There’s really no need for that. Some people you have to simply love and care for from a distance. But whatever you’re going through, please know that your feelings matter, you matter. They’ll dissipate soon. It’s ok to feel….. you’re human!