Remember how good it felt? How freeing it was. We’ll do that as an adult. Have that same free spirit and open mind. I know life happens and we grow up and we forget about our dreams. Our passions and hobbies.
But one thing I know for sure is that when God, puts something in your heart..it is never lost. The other day I got caught singing, lol. “How Many Ways I Love You ” by Toni Braxton was playing. The ending was near , which is my favorite part and I just belted out, “how many ways I love youuuuuuuuuuu, yeah ehhh yeah.” I was in the zone..
I wasn’t aware anyone was home. I’m walking though the door and I just had to sing along. I heard “ok Toni” and just laughed at my friend. I’m no Toni Braxton but I love taking on her spirit of music. This isn’t the first time I got caught singing, lol and it’s always in the weirdest places.
I got caught when I was 17, singing Selena, “Fotos y Requerdos” in the lady’s room fixing my hair, lol. I thought I was alone…this lady came out the stall and said ” who was that singing? I said oh me, she said you have a beautiful voice, I enjoyed listening to you. That’s one of my favorite songs.”
Then my friend came out another stall and tried to take credit for it, by saying, “well when you hang out with singers, it rubs off on you.” Yeah she tried to steal my shine. #hater, lol. Every now and then when I’m really feeling a song and the lyrics get deep down in my soul.
I just start singing and someone is always catching me, lol…and then it’s followed by a compliment. Then I’m looking at them like “oh, ok thank you” 😐 with this weird look on my face smiling. Maybe it’s because I’m not aware of my voice, but then I remind myself..
Although I’m a woman…that I’m the same girl, who was in the glee club and in chorus. I was always the first one in music class for almost 15 years. I stopped singing after my mom passed. I never even knew my mom could sing, until I heard her belt out this gospel song one day…
I realized in that moment, my mom had so many dreams, that never came to fruition and that’s why she let me pursue mine and was always supportive. I just lost my passion for it for while. Now if you ask me to sing I might be reluctant, that’s only because it won’t feel spontaneous and I hate being put on the spot. Then I become self-conscious, lol.
It has to flow freely, like my thoughts when I write…..But if you catch me singing, then you’ll be surprised.. I always wanted to see my name on a soundtrack, but not in the spotlight. I’m just not vying for the spotlight…
I keep fighting with God because I think he’s trying to push me out there and I don’t want to go, lol. Because a lot of things I gravitate towards are public. I think maybe in my past life I was an artist according to this test I took, because things I like to do are public and I want to remain private.
If there is something you want in life. Go for it! Do it for you! Share your dreams with people who believe in you. I remember telling an ex I wanted a studio in my house and he said a dance studio, I said no, a music studio and he had this look on his face, like he wanted to laugh but was holding it in.
I stopped talking to him about my aspirations and dreams. Then I got rid of him. Problem solved, haaa haaa 😀…… I realized this man never knew me and that I couldn’t be myself around him. Also that he was in my way. I was never supported by him when I talked about anything good.
When I would book something, he never came to see me perform. Meanwhile I was at every one of his games. That’s not love and support. The sad thing is, some people really do not want to see you shine. They are not moving forward so they don’t want you to surpass them in any way.
My teacher can sing his ass off, I wonder why this man doesn’t have a record deal or isn’t on broadway. selling out concerts. I love to hear him sing, especially Jeffrey Osborne. He can surely hang with the best of them. His vocals are unbelievable, he can imitate anyone. One of his problems is, he’s not with a supportive spouse, she does not believe in him. Nor does she support him.
You already know where this is going. Marriages like this don’t last. We must stop doing a disservice to ourselves by settling and being with people, who don’t believe in us and are not as passionate as we are. Doesn’t mean they are a bad person, they are just not the one whom we should share our lives with. Our partner should be just as passionate as we are.
If they are not, it will hold us back wether we realize it or not. I remember I was talking about a house and one of my friends kept saying something negative about money. I knew I didn’t have the money to buy this house or to move to an island. I was just dreaming out loud.
I just said to myself damn! I can’t say nothing without this girl shooting down my dream….killing my high. You have people like that, dream killers, emotional vampires. They can’t see a way for themselves having certain things in life.
So they don’t see it for you. Their minds are limited so they project that on to you. It’s just a reflection of who they are and where they are in life. They have no dreams or goals. That’s just living.
Truth is….we can be anything we want and have anything we want in this life, if we work for it. If we dare to dream and imagine it and see it in our minds. That’s the first step. Some people want things at other people’s expense. They love to ride shotgun.
They see how ambitious and how much of a go-getter you are and they want to tag along for the ride, but they don’t want to push the car, if you run out of gas and get a flat tire. People like that, you just have to leave behind. This is why I always support people. Because I know how it feels to have it and then to lose it.
This is why I go hard. If only it was reciprocated because my loyalty to others is not appreciated nor is my love. When people see how much I’m rooting for them, they expect it and feel very much entitled to it. It’s hard to find people who genuinely believe in you and that are selfless and loyal. It’s very rare. When you have a loyal person in your corner, don’t push them away.
If there is a dream in your heart, a song you want to sing and dance to. Just surrender and do it. Go back to when you were a child and just dare to dream. You might surprise yourself. You have to love yourself, have faith and believe in yourself and others will too. There are supportive kind people in the world.
You have to believe that what you want is possible and that God has a plan for your life. You never know where your journey to your dreams might lead you. Who knows maybe one day I will put out a single for me, just to say I did it. Music has always been a passion of mine. What is life without music.
Maybe I will see my name in the credits, whether it’s on a sound track or with my writings. Life is really what you make it…so why not make it the best it can be. You only get one round in this lifetime. Why not dare to dream and then make it a reality. That’s when real living will start and existing will cease. Miracles happen when you believe.
Namaste! God is love! With him all things are possible!