Why You Should Try A Long Distance Relationship Once In Your Life

img_0953Most people when they are searching for love limit themselves to where love should reside. They want someone in the same state or that lives within a certain distance.

Anything over 30 minutes they write it off. What most people don’t realize is that love can be anywhere in the world. And if you really want to be with that person you will find a way to make it work.

I think everyone should try a long distance relationship, once in their life and here’s why:

When you meet someone, your goal should be, to get to know them as a person. Most people when they meet someone all they are focused on is the physical. If you are really serious about love, you will focus on friendship.

In a long distance relationship, you get to fall in love with someone’s personality. You get to fall in love with them on a soul level. You get to know them on a deeper level without sex clouding your judgement.

Long distance relationships teaches you about patience and delayed gratification. Two people’s souls should be on fire when they see each other. The only way for some and at least for me, is the distance. I’m a firm believer that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Most of my relationships have been long distance and it has been the greatest experiences of my life. I believe that when two people want to be together, although they are far apart and have their own life, that in order to make it work, that communication is key.

If you don’t like talking on the phone and you if you need someone there every day, then of course a long distance relationship is not going to work for you. But if you want love, you have to be willing to try something different. Ideal conventional ways do not always work.

With the way technology is today, you can Skype, FaceTime, text and talk on the phone. I choose the latter. There is nothing like hearing someone’s voice rather than a text message. If you can’t see that person in the flesh, the next best thing is to hear their voice.

Long distance relationships may not work for everyone, because you may want to see that person and touch them which is normal. Some people start thinking once they finally do meet, all the things that can go wrong. But what about all the things that can go right?!

The only thing that doesn’t make sense to me is, when you finally do meet someone and it still feels like you’re in a long distance relationship, especially if you live in the same state. Been there.. done that, not doing that again. I’ll let that marinate….

In order to make a long distance relationship work, you have to be an effective communicator. You have to not be afraid to be by yourself. I’m one of those women, since I’m introverted. I’m in no rush to be in love nor am I looking for someone to complete me, because I’m already complete and whole. Love takes time.

Long distance relationships works best for me, because I enjoy my space. I’m to much of a free spirit to be tied down on a daily basis. I’m not looking to settle down just yet. A relationship is a want not a need. A relationship does not define me and it’s separate from my being.

A relationship can only complement me and vice versa. A relationship should only add to your life, not take away from it. I tend to meet men that are creatives in some way. Those relationships work best for me, because they are busy. I don’t need to see someone every single day. Although keeping is contact is crucial.

You can’t not see someone and say I love you and you’re my woman (or man) and you haven’t seen or talked to them in months. But put a claim on them. Thats not a relationship. I know that they have a life and are living it and so am I. When we do get to spend time, we can catch up. Anticipating each other will make that passion come alive.

Most people they need someone there every day but truth is, it’s hard living with someone. My last relationship failed because we lived together. When he was in another state and we saw each other quite often it lasted longer. I never planned on living with him but he wanted to live with me.

I never planned on being his mother either and taking care of him, uugh yeahhh, lol. There is nothing wrong with wanting space in a relationship. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other, it just means that you want solitude. When someone is in your face every single day and you see them.

You lose that passion. You lose that spark. You start craving variety and spontaneity. Happens all the time. Yeah you may have met the guy or girl at the club, now you are wanting to go back there to get away from them. Just because you love someone, doesn’t mean you have to see them every single day.

If you do decide to live with someone, that person has to be so easy to love and be around that you can’t wait to come home to them. Their love will not feel like it’s smothering you. I’m not sure if I will ever live with a man again. I keep meeting needy and clingy men who want to dominate me and that’s not going to work for me.

I will fall out of love with you real quick. I need a man who doesn’t have too much time on his hands but makes time for his woman. Who wants to hear about my day and calls me to say good morning and goodnight. Someone who checks up on from time to time.

Long distance relationships and a person who has outside interest, is the best choice for me, because I don’t want to have to worry about things that normal couples have to worry about. I don’t have to check in with anyone and ask for permission indirectly when I want to go somewhere.

I get to focus on myself and building my life and sharing my life with someone but not solely depending on them for my every need. It would be nice to know that I have someone in my life who will take care of me, when I need it. But there is strength in being alone.

I can preserve my heart, body and soul for one individual most people can’t. A man will never have to worry about me cheating because he’s not around. I don’t crave physical connection as much as I crave a mental soul connection. There is no such things as to much space.

I’m perfectly fine with talking and being consistent. If you are a person who wants love and you have your own life. Try dating someone in another state. Be open because the love plan God has for you, may not appear the way you want it. Remember love is not possessing one another. Love is freedom and should happen organically.

Advertisements

One thought on “Why You Should Try A Long Distance Relationship Once In Your Life

  1. Loved your post. I and my girlfriend dated for 7 long years online before we decided to get married. We are married for 5 years now. Long distance romance is good but it requires a certain amount of dedication and patience that not many have in this fast lifestyle. When things go wrong you feel so helpless because you can’t hug or console your partner who’s located elsewhere.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s