SongVersations: “Never Noticed” By Ralph Tresvant

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/rizz-wa-faire/id157081843“Oh, where did you go?
Why did you leave?
No chance to say goodbye
And let’s be honest

Ever since you went away
Living hasn’t been the same
Missing you and wanting you back here with me

Heaven knows how far I’ll go
I know its not logical to be with you But if I could, I would

Never noticed how much I loved you. Until the day you said goodbye for good. If I knew what I know now my love. I’m just thinking bout it”

Words beautifully sung by Ralph Tresvant. When you listen to these lyrics, it makes you wonder about the person you loved, that suddenly walked out on you and never gave you an answer as to why. It’s hits you when you are alone. You start thinking about it. You ask yourself what happened? What didn’t I see?

Why did you leave? I never got a chance to say good-bye. Why didn’t you talk to me and let me know you were unhappy, or maybe they did and you just didn’t pay attention. There are always signs in a relationship that your significant other, is not happy but are you paying attention?

Sometimes it so easy to get caught up in our careers, that we neglect the one we love. The one that held us down. Material possessions can’t hold us at night. At the end of the day, we want someone to love and hold us and to just be there. To just be a friend.

You start thinking of your long-lost love and your heart aches, for that person to be back in your life. You know that if you could just get a second chance, that you can love them better. That you are changed man or woman. When I hear these lyrics It makes feel like someone’s love was taken for granted.

Maybe this woman just couldn’t deal with his life and how busy he is. Why else would she just pick up and leave without any explanation. Or maybe she fell in love with someone else. Now he’s sitting there missing her, wanting her back in his life. When he says “It was you, It was you.” Maybe he felt that she was always it for him.

That the mistakes he made, by not showing her how much, he loved and cared for her. That if he did maybe she would have stayed had she not felt neglected. Or maybe he loved her to much, gave her everything she wanted and still it wasn’t enough for her. Some times the more you love and give to a person, they take you for granted.

As the song plays it reminds me of the men I’ve dated and not dated. That claim I’m the one that got away. Now they are alone, missing me, wanting me back. They never realized how much they loved me, until I ended it. But when they had me, they took my love for granted. They keep wondering how their life would have turned out, if they just knew how to love woman like me. They want a second chance.

Why is it that when someone walks out of our life, we never notice how much they meant to us while they were in our life? Why does it takes someone absence to appreciated their presence? Some times we really do love that person, but we never notice how much until they are gone. When were alone with our thoughts it hits us.

Damn! I let the best thing I had slip away from me. We start feeling like a fool. The thoughts of the person we miss invaded our heart and spirit. We hear their voice, we want them near and we think, If only I can get a second chance. Life may or may not grant us with a second chance. But in life there are no do overs. We just have to live with the pain.

If we knew what we know now, we wouldn’t have made the mistake in the first place. Everyone we meet that walks in and out of our life. Is there to teach us a lesson, about love. They are there to help us grow and evolve. Hopefully we’ll know better next time, not to make the same mistake twice with a new love. We’ll recognize the rare spirit of love in front of us, next time around.

Avoiding Attention: Is It Helping Or Doing More Harm?

img_2023When it comes to attention anyone who knows me, knows that I struggle with it, in any form especially when it comes to my hobbies, work or from men.

I’m not the kind of person who gravitates towards attention, nor do I seek it. I don’t fish for compliments. I’m very low-key. Attention makes me very uncomfortable.

Whenever the spotlight is on me, I do my best to try and deflect the attention on someone else. I know that the reason why I do not like attention, is because it always turns out to be negative attention.

I’m a very passionate person. Being a passionate person is not always positive thing when it comes to the person (s) thats on the receiving end. The very same things, I’m passionate about and the things I love to do. For some strange reason, causes a lot of unwanted attention. I tend to attract psychos for some strange reason because of my passions.

When I write things about an artist whether it’s a musician, actor, poet or sculptor. I write about what their art means to me. I don’t know them personally to feel that way about them. In writing about an artist, the person that I’m writing about, gets engulfed in my world of worlds. They want to know more about how I feel and then they want to know more about me.

Now I don’t have a problem with being myself, anything you want to know, just ask. But the question is, why do you want to know me? What is this going to do for you? In getting to know each other, where are we both going with this? Are we going to work together? I’ve never been able to work for any man in the industry, because it always turns personal for them.

When it comes to men, they want to get to know me, because they want to date me and figure out, if I’m the kind of woman who can fit into their life in some way. They are usually after me for something, whether its to get married, have a baby or money. Or they want the love, attention and support I show them as a fan, on a daily basis, because they never had it before, from other women that they have dated.

So my love for an artist work is being manipulated, for their own selfish reasons. Men don’t want to be with me to support me in any areas of my life. Every time I’m having a regular conversation with a guy and I mention something that I want to do and we just met. They immediately try to devise a plan to try and put a stop to my plans.

By mentioning things that some women might want to hear. Like getting married, babies, materialistic things. When I turn these men down, two things happen, they can’t accept rejection or it makes them want me even more because I don’t care who they are like that. This has shocked me with the people I have met, wondering why they feel this way about me.

I think sometimes that people tend to forget that artist are human beings, it doesn’t matter what they do for a living or how well-known they are. Yes, we fall in love with who they are. We fall in love with a part of them that they reveal to us and in return they fall in love with their fan(s.) I never knew that the people who inspired me, would feel a certain type of way about me.

I just wrote what I wrote and hit the send button. I honestly feel like that if the they hadn’t seen my face that things would be totally different. People are always asking me, why don’t I post more pictures and why don’t I put myself out there more, when it comes to my love life or my career. I’m told that I’m hiding and that I need to stop.

I’m given compliments that I’m a beautiful woman, nice personality and I appreciate that. When I do put myself out there and I write or comment on social media platforms. I’m bombarded with attention that is overwhelming. Sometimes even from both sexes. I love having intellectually stimulating conversations,

But I can’t do that all the time on a one on one basis. So I try to find a way to reach people collectively. I know that avoiding attention could help in some ways, because I enjoy having a simple quiet life. But on the other hand it can be harming me in a lot of ways, because I want to reach people.

I’ve always been opinionated and outspoken. Speaking my mind empowers me. When so many people hold back. I know that I have a way with words when I don’t hold back. I debate whether or not I should say certain thing at times, but it’s how I feel.

I feel like being creative and opinionated is going to throw me into a world, I don’t think I’m equipped to handled. A lot of people want to be famous, they want people to know them. They want that glitz and the glamorous lifestyle and the things that it may come with. I don’t. I want to be able to walk the street or go into a store without people following me.

I’ve met artist that want me to adopt their world and I don’t want to, because I’m not an opportunist. So I ask myself on a daily…attention, is it helping or doing more harm in my life? What level of attention is comfortable? Am I hiding? Am I not confident enough? Can I deal with attention and the likes of people on a broader spectrum? I don’t know.

How does a creative share their gift and still have a low-key simple life? We have google now, and just when we think our private life is safe it’s not. I’ve had my share of people stalking me online and in person. Do I really want to open myself up to that? Putting yourself out there more. It’s really easier said than done. So I don’t know…..

Maybe one day if something positive comes out of being creative, I’ll change my mind and won’t avoid the spotlight. Until then I’ll just continue to express myself. Maybe one day, I’ll get what I want one day and it will be positive. Maybe the negativity will be worth it, a blessing in disguise for whats yet to come. Maybe one day the artist I do want to work with, I’ll have a great experience.

Peace Is Possible In A Relationship

8cb7eb5f732c243388a6dd11ddc4d777Imagine just for a moment, never arguing with your significant other. What does that feel like? Imagine having peace in your relationship to the point, where you are free to express yourself.

Imagine being able to express yourself in a loving comfortable environment, where you are being heard and understood. When it comes to peace in a relationship, why do so many people think that it’s hard to come by and maintain?

Why do people think love is loud and not quiet? In order to have peace in your relationship, you have to be a peaceful person. When you love and respect your partner. There will be no need to have loud arguments.

People ask me all the time, what makes you upset? People find it weird that I don’t raise my voice and that I don’t argue. When I remain calm for some strange reason it makes people upset. They try to get a rise out of me on purpose. My question is why should I argue? I’ve never been an argumentative person.

I think before I talk instead of reacting first. Whenever I feel a certain way about something. I access my emotional state. I don’t talk when I’m frustrated or angry. I get quiet. I think (and over think) about what I have to say and the effect it’s going to have on the other person. I make sure I choose the right words as to not offend and disrespect.

My goal is to express myself and to be understood and to be heard. If I choose the wrong words it will negate my purpose. If I don’t like something that was said or something that was done to me. I express my opinion about it in a calm and loving way. I have control over my emotions. I can get angry if I wanted to but there are other choices.

I’m human and it takes a lot to make me upset, to the point that I raise my voice or I argue. I don’t like arguing in the first place. I’m a very opinionated woman. If I don’t like something you will know. It will be written all over my face. One of my relationships, we never argued. When two people respect one another and they are careful with each others heart and emotions, there is no need to argue.

When a person argues with another person, there’s always something that is being suppressed. Their anger is being directed to you for some particular reason. The problem might be you, other times it has nothing to do with you at all. Thats why it’s important to listen to your partner and to communicate with them and to choose peace.

If you see your partner is upset. BE their peace and take control of conversation in a loving way. Ask them to breathe, touch them, take their hand. Embrace them. Smile at them. Keep your voice mellow. Usually when one person is calm, it makes the other person calm. Sometimes people just have a hard time expressing themselves.

I sometimes don’t get why people argue when there is a conflict. Why not choose peace and love over conflict and ego. If your goal is to be understood and heard, to feel important and that you matter. Calm down. Have a conversation with yourself and God before you bring negative emotions and energy towards another person.

It feels good to have peace. It means you respect each other. You agree to disagree. It shows that you set your ego aside. It makes you express yourself even more and to lean into your partner, instead of turning away from them during difficult times. Really take a breath. If it’s not going to matter in 5 years, then it shouldn’t matter in 5 seconds.

Always remember to be kind to your significant other no matter how angry or frustrated you may get. Communication is the key but it must be peaceful. Choose your words wisely. Remember love is not loud. Love is peaceful and quiet. Love is respectful and inspiring.

I love the quote below by Denzel Washington but of course this goes both ways. Be each others peace. Because peace really is possible in a relationship.

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Signs From Above, How Angels Communicate With You To Heal Your Heart

img_1720Ever notice that when you are going through something. A series of sudden so-called coincidences seem to happen to you.

It may be in the form of music. You’ll hear a song echoing in your head. You may see a repetitive sign. You’ll hear voices subtly whispering in your ear.

You’ll get goosebumps and not feel alone. I don’t think a lot of people realize that we are not alone in this world.

That there are unseen spiritual forces working behind the scenes on our behalf. I am very in tuned with my surroundings and my frequency. I notice that whenever I’m feeling a certain way, about life and the things that have happen to me.

I will get signs from Angels. Angels are always communicating with me. I’ll see feathers out of nowhere or I’ll see a slightly invisibly presence in front of my eyes. I’ll feel like someone touched me, held my hand and it’s always a good feeling. I’ll even see sparkling lights that sometimes follow me. I woke up in the middle of the night and found a feather on the side of my pillow.

When I’m listening to music, the music will get louder and at times I can’t even turn it off. I’ll wake up with a song in my head that I just can’t shake. I know that angels are communicating with me. When I wrote about not having the strength to love  or whenever I write about my thoughts about love. I will get signs from Angels, trying to heal my heart.

I’m human and at times when it comes to love. I feel it’s elusive towards me for some reason. I’m not looking for love but whenever I’m open to it. It goes awry. After the last few guys I was talking to as friends, so I thought. They completely did a 360 on me and it left me feeling mentally drained. I was disrespected. Felt I was being rushed and this keeps happening to me over and over again.

So at times…..I’m just like screw this being open to love, because every guy keeps acting the same after claiming they are different. When the same thing keeps happening you start to wonder, will I ever have the love I desire one day? Will anyone ever really get me, love me and be peaceful. All that I am, I want that when it comes to love.

I know myself and I’m a good woman. I know I have a lot of love to offer, to the right man one day. I know that angels see and know whats in my heart. They keep reminding in so many ways. The music that I listen to, it’s all about love. Some of my favorite artist I become addicted to there music, but it’s a good addiction :).

Lately, more than ever, I have been listening to Ralph Tresvant’s last 3 Solo Albums. If you don’t have it buy his music. His personality and music reminds me so much of my first love. His music is really healing my heart and I can’t be anymore grateful.  Ralph’s music is sweet and endearing. It’s romantic. I thank God for blessing this man with the gift of music. His voice is just soothing and angelic to me.

It lets me know that REAL MEN do feel. They have emotions and that they want real love. When I hear his music, it just reminds me of a time when I was really happy, when my mother and sister was alive. When I fell in love and it was just a memorable time in my life, that I wish I could go back to. But life happens and the thing about life, is that you can always revisit those memories and bring them into the present.

Every one becomes a memory at some point, but it’s the impression and the lessons they taught you while alive. When I listen to love songs on repeat, I know that there are messages in them that I need to hear and I know that I need to heal my heart. Heartache is a part of life. There’s nothing you can do about someone who treats you a certain way, except walk away when it threatens your peace.

img_1712Angels remind me every day that I am loved by sending me signs. By whispering just hold on. They shower me with love while I’m alone.

I’m not perfect, but I’m a loving person with a good pure heart and spirit and one day, the love that I want will come to me. Who knows when that will be.

I know just by the music that I listen to, that I can have that. I know my loved ones who have transcended and God are conspiring on my behalf, when I hear songs that they loved.

I just smile and I’m like ok, I know that’s you. Even when I’m writing like now, I saw sparkling lights and felt a presence around me. It feels good to know that I’m loved even when I don’t feel that I am.

Love is meant for everyone and God sends us signs all the time, with these spiritual beings that radiate light and love called Angels. Believe in them because they are real and always near by your side! Just call on them and get to know them, because they are here to help, guide and protect you!

Namaste! God is love!

Inside The Ride With Ralph Tresvant, On WZBR 1410 AM, The Bass Of Boston

I just found out one of my favorite singers since I was a child, has launched his own radio show. So I had to show him some love. Yes, The Bass Of Boston has a new DJ. Boston’s Finest…..

Yours truly the one and only, legendary lead singer, Mr. Ralph Tresvant From the Iconic Legendary R&B Group New Edition.

This is such a breath of fresh air because I don’t listen to the radio nor do I own a radio. I stopped listening to the radio when music started changing towards the early 2000s.

Music has changed so much and for some of us that are still old school. We love to hear our classic jams from back in day. We get to relive those memories and remember when music was really good, when music meant something and spoke to your heart and soul. The 90s was definitely the best era in music.

I really wish that music did not change. Because when it comes to good music and classics, there is no expiration date. But in the music industry there is. Artist from back in the day should still be dominating the airwaves. So for those of us who appreciate good music. We get to enjoy it with artist who are cut from a different cloth.

I tuned in this week and I enjoyed being Inside The Ride. Every day has a different theme. There’s Mantra Mondays, throwback Thursday’s. Make sure you tune in for Freaky Fridays, that’s when it’s adult time :). Ralph is spinning classics that make you remember, what love and romance is all about, which is hard to find on the radio now a days.

If you love classics old and new from back in the day with a mix of some new music. You will enjoy being Inside The Ride with Ralph Tresvant. He’s personable, engaging, funny. He keeps it sexy and smooth. He loves his fans and I’m so happy that, The Bass Of Boston has him on their line-up.

Make sure you tune in Monday thru Friday, from 4pm to 7pm EST. On your way home from work during rush hour. Don’t have a radio? No problem! No need to fret. You can listen online and you can download The Bass APP  on iTunes and Google Play. Have a request.. call in 617-238-7111

So there you have it! There’s no excuse :). Make sure you tune in and tell a friend and have that friend tell a friend. Spread the word and don’t miss the ride!!! It’s Going Down on WZBR 1410 AM, The Bass of Boston with Ralph Tresvant, A.K.A DJ Iron Crates.

**Be sure to follow Ralph on Social media and join the fan club on Facebook and Twitter**

SongVersations: “Do What I Gotta Do” By Ralph Tresvant

Do you remember this timeless classic ballad,”Do What I Gotta Do” sung by the iconic and legendary lead singer of New Edition. Mr. Ralph Tresvant.

Breakups, they can get messy. How do you tell someone who you love and care for, that you want to be alone?

It’s not easy letting someone go, no matter how much you love them. It’s something you debate over and over in your mind. Should I? Shouldn’t I?

But deep down inside, you know you gotta do what you gotta do. What’s the best way to let someone down gently. Truth is there is no way to let them down gently. Either way it’s going to hurt you or the other person and no one likes to break someone else’s heart especially when they  still care.

When this song first came out, I remember the first time I heard it. It was May 11th 1991. I looked at the clock and it turned 5:16. My mom was in the kitchen cooking. She had the radio on 98.7. I heard this beautiful harmony coming from the radio and I just stood there…wondering who was that?

I turned the volume up and got lost in the music. I said is that Ralph Tresvant but wasn’t sure, until it went off and they announced his name. I had to have that album right then and there. Which my mom got for me. I thought it was a beautiful sad love song.

I knew it was a song about heart-break and understood the lyrics, I just thought it was beautifully put into song. I immediately got a visual and wanted to see the video. I didn’t really know the significance of the song until I was in my teens and into my adulthood. Thats when the lyrics really resonated.

In “Do What I Gotta Do” Ralph is in turmoil over ending his relationship with his lover. He doesn’t want to break her heart, but his heart and soul is breaking because, he needs to figure some things out and he needs to be alone. Sometimes the person you are in a relationship with doesn’t understand that. When he sings this note. “I’ve been feeling lately like being single or just alone, to get into myself.”

He feels like his woman, is playing games and he has to change the rules and look out for himself. When You are creative person, you need space to create. Unfortunately, the one you’re with can feel neglected, even though that’s not your intention.

img_1453Some of us are there right now. Feeling stuck. We need help letting go. We need to figure out who am I? Rediscover our passions. Figure out what do I want and need out of life. Instead of this whole ‘We or Us thing’.

We’re with someone and we don’t feel the same anymore. The chemistry is gone, we fell out of love or we’ve outgrown the relationship and we are in a war between our heart and our mind. We know deep down in our soul, that we gotta do what we gotta do. You try to find the right words because although it’s hard, you don’t want to continue living a lie.

It kills you deep inside that it has to come this. Because although you love the person you’ve known. You know the best thing is for you two to be apart. Breakups are not easy this is why some people ghost. They don’t have the courage to tell you it’s over in your face or give you closure. What I love about this song is that towards the end.

Ralph is letting her know that even though he loves her, that the best things is for them to be apart and continue to be friends. Why continue to be in a relationship you’re not happy in. Which will lead to nothing but a spiritual death and regret. He still wants to be her friend and be there for her.

He just can’t continue breaking his own heart and being unhappy anymore for the sake of someone else. No matter how much he loves her. I know to many people who stay in relationships way past their expiration date. Knowing they should have left a long time ago.. we’ve all been there.

Trying to work things out because of the time we put in and because we truly care. But it gets to a point that if you don’t end things you are going to go mad. In my last relationship, one day my ex came home. As soon as he walked through the door. I got up went to the bathroom and closed the door. I had this song playing in my ear. I just sat on the bathroom floor and wept.

I was so unhappy. He knew I was unhappy but didn’t care as long as he had a roof over his head and what he wanted. My bed was cold. There was no love or affection. Just him needing me all the time. I fell out of love and I just wanted to be alone. I never wanted to live with him. It was hard telling him to move out of my place. But I had to or else it would have continued and it would have been my fault.

He would have continued living off of me. We have to take responsibility for what we allow to continue in a relationship. Set limits because takers don’t. When I cried, I was mourning the lost of myself. My dreams and my passions. I needed him to be there for me, the same way I was there for him. He wanted me to put my life on hold to support his dreams, which he said in so many way without saying it. That was not happening.

I never had his support and I got tired of the games or feeling like there was a love triangle going on. I realized he never really knew me. My needing to grow and wanting space was a threat to him. Space and discovering myself meant, I wanted better or that I would find someone else who could love me better, which was not my focus and the last thing on my mind.

I wanted a relationship with myself again. I wanted to love myself again. So I prayed and ended it. He didn’t want to be the man I needed. He didn’t want to add to my life just take from it. He only wanted the lifestyle I provided and my money. It wasn’t all bad… the relationship in the beginning, but I was TIRED. I wasn’t the same. My needs and wants since I was approaching my 30s were different from my 20s.

He never expected me to grow and change. He thought I would always be around and took my love, the things I did and how I held him down for granted. I wasn’t being supported in any way. Me wanting help with basic simple things was meant with resistance and arguing. There was no peace in my home. I tried to remember the friendship we shared, that’s the only reason why I let him stay, so he could get himself together.

But he didn’t want to get himself together. I found out his scheme to live with me and have me take care of him was planned. When I ended it, I felt revived. I felt like I found myself again. I was born again. I started smiling, laughing, being happy again. Listening to music, especially love songs again with out anyone turning it off., music was one thing we should have not been arguing about.

I started dancing and writing again. I dropped weight both mentally and physically. I started doing things I used to do before we met and before my mom passed. For so long it was about other people from when I was 14. In a relationship its hard to hear your own voice. It’s even harder to hear Gods voice too. With constant noise and be ‘ON’ all the time, with the wants and needs of another.

Sometimes you can’t be there for everybody. You can’t save everyone. You can’t make everyone happy at your own expense. Being single can be a great thing. It strengthens you. Relationships can be great when there is genuine love and a common ground and two people are supporting each other. It shouldn’t feel like a job you hate because eventually you’ll quit.

It can’t be one-sided and its unfortunate that that’s what some people want. They want to use you for the own selfish gain. I know there were lessons I needed to learn and I learned them. I know that I will never go through that again. Every time I feel like a man is trying to trap me, on purpose or move to quick. I just do what I gotta do and let them go, because life is meant to be lived and I will not exist in someones shadow.

Do You Believe In Past Lives? If So Who Were You?

I’ve been feeling very nostalgic lately with music and just a sense of feeling like I have had a past life that I need to revisit. I took a test a few years ago and I continue to take test and they all continue to say the same thing. That I was an artist, a writer, a composer.

It’s said that in your past life, that before you were born, that you just have to remember who you were in your past life and get back to who you were in this life time. I’m not sure if that’s the road I want to take.

I notice that ever since I relocated to the west coast, that I’ve been singing a lot and getting caught, LOL. I don’t know if it’s the sun, because back east, NY has to many freaking buildings you can’t see the sun shine. Theres also no palm trees there either, which I’m in love with over here.

Maybe I’m inspired because of the peace and quiet and I’m not being disturbed. I can hear my own thoughts. I’m reducing negative people and noise that threaten my peace out of my life. I feel like I’m able to hear my own inner voice clearly.

I’ve always felt music deep within my cells and there have been people in my life, who have tried to take that away from me. My passion for music has caused negativity in some ways. I don’t know if I would still be here… alive…. if it wasn’t for music. Music literally saved my life.

Music is the only thing that kept me from going insane when my mom passed away. I need music like I need God, the holy spirit, air, food, and water. When I listen to music, I feel everything. Every lyric, every note. I’m immersed.

I was listening to Ralph Tresvant, from New Edition, solo single “Do What I Gotta Do“. I remember where I was when I first hear this song. Ralph hits this note @4:17-4:18  when he says “her heart”. I was in the kitchen cooking and I just sang along and my friend said to me, awwww you sound like a little angel, that was a nice little note you hit.

I thought I was alone. When people compliment my voice I always blush and smile. But I love music so much and I know you guys feel me, that music is everything. When it comes to love, I’m also waiting for God, to bless me with a man that makes me feel like music. I need love and romance in my life.

Every time I hear that part of the song, it just brings tears to my eyes. Even though this song is about breaking up, put into song, its sad and beautiful at the same time. The melody, the angelic voice of Ralph Tresvant.

To me…., it’s the perfect song to just kiss and make love to. If you need to say good-bye. Which you’ll see in the original video. He loves this woman but he just needs to be alone and have space and find himself and sometimes that’s hard to do with another person. Which we all can relate.

This song is a classic and its hard to find music like this now a days, that speaks to your heart and to hear men express themselves about heartache. I know it’s an oxymoron to be creative and not want to be in the spotlight, but I really don’t want to be in the spotlight.

I’m doing my best to express myself without drawing attention. I have a feeling it’s not going to work for too much longer, LOL. I don’t know what plans God has for me. I keep having dreams about performing. The small private audience is captivated and moved to tears.

I guess for me, I just want people to just get in touch with their emotions. People along the way stopped feeling…Especially with music. I just want people to feel the spirit of music again. I want my words to mean something. I know music is a great platform to reach people.

I don’t have to be famous. I can release a single one day on iTunes :). So I’m just asking God, what do you want me to do with my life?

I remember when I wrote a poem about my mom when I was 16, the whole class was in tears and it was silent. I didn’t know my words would have that effect. I thought people would see the beauty of it. But they didn’t. I just didn’t want that type power for lack of a better word. I didn’t want my words twisted.

But I know that ever since I was little I was always writing, always studying artist and always surrounded by music. I realize the need to express myself and these passions I have, was once suppressed for a very long time. The relationship I was in held me back. Silenced my voice.

Thats why although I want love one day, I need someone who lets me be the free spirit that I am and doesn’t try to hold me back for their own selfish needs. I guess that’s why I meet other creatives but the contradictory part about it, is that they don’t want to talk about that part of their lives.

How are you an artist and you don’t want to talk about music and that’s the very first thing we connected with each other on?? Our passion for music. That doesn’t make any sense. So no relationship here until it makes me feel deeply, the way music does.

I think my past life is trying to emerge and get me to express myself more. It doesn’t help that I’m a master number 11 in numerology either, lol. I know God places gifts in each and every one of us and its up to us to turn that gift into something magical. But how? The ‘how” part is not for us to figure out :). All we have to do is just be and take action and God will do everything else.