I’ve been feeling very nostalgic lately with music and just a sense of feeling like I have had a past life that I need to revisit. I took a test a few years ago and I continue to take test and they all continue to say the same thing. That I was an artist, a writer, a composer.
It’s said that in your past life, that before you were born, that you just have to remember who you were in your past life and get back to who you were in this life time. I’m not sure if that’s the road I want to take.
I notice that ever since I relocated to the west coast, that I’ve been singing a lot and getting caught, LOL. I don’t know if it’s the sun, because back east, NY has to many freaking buildings you can’t see the sun shine. Theres also no palm trees there either, which I’m in love with over here.
Maybe I’m inspired because of the peace and quiet and I’m not being disturbed. I can hear my own thoughts. I’m reducing negative people and noise that threaten my peace out of my life. I feel like I’m able to hear my own inner voice clearly.
I’ve always felt music deep within my cells and there have been people in my life, who have tried to take that away from me. My passion for music has caused negativity in some ways. I don’t know if I would still be here… alive…. if it wasn’t for music. Music literally saved my life.
Music is the only thing that kept me from going insane when my mom passed away. I need music like I need God, the holy spirit, air, food, and water. When I listen to music, I feel everything. Every lyric, every note. I’m immersed.
I was listening to Ralph Tresvant, from New Edition, solo single “Do What I Gotta Do“. I remember where I was when I first hear this song. Ralph hits this note @4:17-4:18 when he says “her heart”. I was in the kitchen cooking and I just sang along and my friend said to me, awwww you sound like a little angel, that was a nice little note you hit.
I thought I was alone. When people compliment my voice I always blush and smile. But I love music so much and I know you guys feel me, that music is everything. When it comes to love, I’m also waiting for God, to bless me with a man that makes me feel like music. I need love and romance in my life.
Every time I hear that part of the song, it just brings tears to my eyes. Even though this song is about breaking up, put into song, its sad and beautiful at the same time. The melody, the angelic voice of Ralph Tresvant.
To me…., it’s the perfect song to just kiss and make love to. If you need to say good-bye. Which you’ll see in the original video. He loves this woman but he just needs to be alone and have space and find himself and sometimes that’s hard to do with another person. Which we all can relate.
This song is a classic and its hard to find music like this now a days, that speaks to your heart and to hear men express themselves about heartache. I know it’s an oxymoron to be creative and not want to be in the spotlight, but I really don’t want to be in the spotlight.
I’m doing my best to express myself without drawing attention. I have a feeling it’s not going to work for too much longer, LOL. I don’t know what plans God has for me. I keep having dreams about performing. The small private audience is captivated and moved to tears.
I guess for me, I just want people to just get in touch with their emotions. People along the way stopped feeling…Especially with music. I just want people to feel the spirit of music again. I want my words to mean something. I know music is a great platform to reach people.
I don’t have to be famous. I can release a single one day on iTunes :). So I’m just asking God, what do you want me to do with my life?
I remember when I wrote a poem about my mom when I was 16, the whole class was in tears and it was silent. I didn’t know my words would have that effect. I thought people would see the beauty of it. But they didn’t. I just didn’t want that type power for lack of a better word. I didn’t want my words twisted.
But I know that ever since I was little I was always writing, always studying artist and always surrounded by music. I realize the need to express myself and these passions I have, was once suppressed for a very long time. The relationship I was in held me back. Silenced my voice.
Thats why although I want love one day, I need someone who lets me be the free spirit that I am and doesn’t try to hold me back for their own selfish needs. I guess that’s why I meet other creatives but the contradictory part about it, is that they don’t want to talk about that part of their lives.
How are you an artist and you don’t want to talk about music and that’s the very first thing we connected with each other on?? Our passion for music. That doesn’t make any sense. So no relationship here until it makes me feel deeply, the way music does.
I think my past life is trying to emerge and get me to express myself more. It doesn’t help that I’m a master number 11 in numerology either, lol. I know God places gifts in each and every one of us and its up to us to turn that gift into something magical. But how? The ‘how” part is not for us to figure out :). All we have to do is just be and take action and God will do everything else.