Who wouldn’t want that kind of person in their life as a friend and especially in a relationship.
Well, as bizarre as it sounds, let me let you in on a something. It can be disturbing to others. There are people in the world who have a problem with these kind of people. I’ve encountered them on many occasions and it always makes me question why?
When you’re a kind, quiet and peaceful person, it can make others feel uneasy, especially when they are not used to it. Whenever a person is quiet and kind, we question whats wrong? What do you they want? No one acts that way without an ulterior motive.
Red flags go up for no reason. This is how we have been conditioned to think. We can’t fathom how a person can be so quiet and peaceful. Kind nice people seem to get taken advantage of. They see the good in the world and the good in others and unfortunately it’s not reciprocated. This is what makes good people not want to trust and love.
I never understood why my nature disturbs some people. I’ve quarreled about this with friends, family and even in a relationship. You would think being a kind, quiet peaceful person, people would want that in their life on a daily basis. But when you are this way, people will try or want to change you. They feel like because they are loud and talk all the time and they like to go out.
And can’t stay home for nothing. They want you to adopt their lifestyle and be the same way. I’m constantly being told by people who I’m too nice and quiet. People have called me perfect and I’m not. When I’m quiet around others and I’m kind to them, for some strange reason, my positive energy is met with negativity. This of course is mind-boggling to me, because I treat people the way I wanted to be treat.
We live in a society that we think quiet people are boring. That quiet people are negative and I’ve been asked why don’t I talk. I guess these people don’t take the time to read anything I write, LOL. I talk, I just don’t talk the way they talk. I love intellectually stimulating conversations. I can talk to people for hours, when its something that interest me. I’m not a fan of small talk. I don’t like meaningless conversation.
My articles are not even short, lol…. I’m in-depth for a reason. We live in a world that people think we all have to be the same, especially extroverted loud busy people. When you’re a quiet, kind, nice and a peaceful person, people think something is wrong with you. Ever notice that when a child is quiet or even an adult. People think something is wrong? We expect people to talk from sun up to sun down.
We have a problem with solitude and other people’s solitude. Extroverted people can’t understand why introverted people want to be alone. I notice that a lot of people who fear solitude and being alone.
Have no idea who they are. They don’t love who they are or know what they want and need out of life. Because they don’t take the time to be alone and be still. My opinion is they are running from themselves.
Its like the person that can’t stand to be alone and they are always in a relationship whether it toxic or not. To them anybody is better than nobody. They keep looking towards other people and even things to make them feel whole in some way. It is possible to get addicted to people and to things. This is why some people start to hoard. There is something that they are not dealing with.
I notice that whenever I’m around people who can’t seem to take a chill pill and they act like they are wired all the time. They don’t feel heard. Especially if they grew up in a large family. An old neighbor of mine was always talking loud, especially when I was sitting right next to her. The reason she did this is because she grew up in a big family and felt she had to raise her voice to be heard.
As a quiet person, I can be around a certain level of noise and busyness when I’m socializing but the one place I do require peace at, is when I’m home. When I walk through the door the outside world no longer exist. Its time to relax and recharge. People can’t understand why I like to eat while its quiet with some soft music playing in the background. I can’t enjoy my food around constant chatter.
Whenever a quiet person is a certain type of way. People feel there needs to be an intervention. I had a family member of mine tell me that I had to adapt, to her lifestyle and routine just because I stayed in her house. I moved out. Just because someone lives with you, doesn’t mean you get to control them and not let them be. I wasn’t being respected. I was sleep deprived. I couldn’t get a moment to myself.
I couldn’t write or eat in peace without someone disturbing me on a daily basis. And if I didn’t want to go out, forget it! That caused even more tension. I’m told because I’m young, that I shouldn’t rest and that I should have more energy. More energy for who and for what? For someone else’s external lifestyle that’s not mine. Whats important to me and what I spend my time on, that’s what I have energy for.
It’s not selfish to want to do your own thing. I shouldn’t have to be joined at the hip with someone, just because I decide to be in a relationship or meet new people. There needs to be a balance. Introverted people can be extroverted at times, but not 7 days a weeks or 24/7. This is one of the reasons of many, that my last relationship (and even my friendships) ended or came to a pause.
People trying to change me and having a problem with me being quiet and keeping to myself. I’m told live a little. I am living just not loudly. I don’t need to draw attention to myself or be noticed. I don’t need to be ON all the time. I got tired of the constant going out all the time. People have tricked me in order to get me to go somewhere with them.
If I hate malls and shopping, why would you trick me into going to these places and keep me out for hours, knowing I have stuff to do. Just because one wants company. I don’t spend my days at the mall buying shit. People who keep to themselves and are private are not selfish. If I had a long day, the last thing I want to do is attend to someone as if they are a child.
Even when I’m quiet and still….. I’m still busy. I’m busy thinking. I’m listening to the holy spirit talk to me. I’m quiet so that I can receive answers and know whats my next move. It’s hard to get to know yourself and what you want in life, when you have others in your ear all the time and to many obligations. I observe the behavior of people who can’t be quiet and I see how uncomfortable it is for them.
Noise to them is how they live life. If that’s how one enjoys life, fine. Live it up! That works for you. That doesn’t mean that you should try to change, another person just because it makes you uncomfortable. Quiet, kind peaceful people take time to smell the roses. They are in the moment. They get to decipher what really matters in life. Where they are going and the kind of people they want to be around.
Theres a certain kind of quiet strength, humility and resilience that these people have. Whenever I’m faced with something. I get still. I don’t panic. Extroverted loud busy people panic. The make mountains out of mole hills. Their thoughts are all over the place. Their decisions are not rational. They also make hasty decisions too. They feel if they are not busy life doesn’t make sense.
Always remember, that the way people are and how they treat you, is a reflection of who they are. A person can be busy, but busy doing what? Just being busy? Quiet people like to enjoy life and have fun. There is no right or wrong. It’s just how one chooses to live their life. The next time you encounter someone who is this way. Relax around them. You just might learn a new way of being.