SongVersations: “POISON” By Bell, Biv, DeVoe

“That girl is poison…. Never trust a big butt and a smile that girl is poison. If I were you, I’d take precaution, before I step to meet a fly girl.”

Isn’t that what Bell, Biv, DeVoe warned men about? Don’t trust a woman who is attractive with a nice body. Lets really think about these lyrics for a minute, shall we….

This song was the theme for a lot of men, whether they were in the industry or not. To never trust a beautiful woman and if she has a nice body, forget it, she’s POISON, LOL…. She’ll break your heart, take all your money and trap you. Although I love BBD and I like this song to dance to, I really paid attention to the lyrics when it first came out in 1990.

Lyrics are everything to me as I am very conscious as to what I watch and listen to. I already know that they were speaking their truth and experience (especially in the music industry) and what better way to convey that is through music. We all heard the song “ N.E. Heartbreak” It is very hard for these men in this industry to find a woman who is down for them. Once you’re in the public eye, you are leery of everyone that comes into your space.

Regardless of what society thinks, artist do not have it all. It’s easy to get it twisted and think because the cameras are rolling, that these artist that we love have everything, when in fact it is very isolating at the top. You may not have changed but the people around you do. As trusting as you would like to be, its hard. You trust the wrong person and if it doesn’t work out forget it. Artist have to protect themselves in ways that other people who are not in the industry, don’t really have to think about on a daily basis.

Your whole world changes once people know who you are. When I heard this song, I automatically knew that these men got burned by a ‘beautiful’ woman or several. And I’m pretty sure a lot of men in this world have. Some women know their attractive and use their looks to trap a man and get what they want. A woman is a man’s weakness. A lot of men will overlook things, simply because a woman is attractive. Next thing you know, they get caught up and this beautiful woman is making their life a living hell.

Now they don’t trust any woman that’s attractive because in their mind she’s Poison. I’ve heard comedians joke about not wanting an attractive woman, because beautiful women are too much of a headache, lol. They cause problems. They want an average woman, whatever that means. A woman that doesn’t cause to much attention. This song made me really observe how society treats what they consider “attractive or beautiful” people.

My question for you is, what is beautiful? To me what makes a person beautiful is their soul, who they are on the inside. All the things that make them real and vulnerable. Not what they have or what they do for a living.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting someone who is easy on the eyes. That’s the first thing you notice. I do however notice that when people find you attractive, from both sexes, there is this negative stigma attached to it. You see it all the time in the movies and in television. A beautiful woman or handsome man snaps. An attractive person always has issues. They can’t find love, they have low self-esteem and they are just a nut case.

If you’re married or dating an attractive person issues come up. You think they are cheating. Because every one is staring at your significant other admiring how attractive they are. It makes one feel insecure then you become more possessive, wanting your mate to tone down who they are for you. When people find you attractive, you’re idolized. You’re perfect in their eyes. Attractive people can do no wrong. Thats what they want us to believe.

I notice that whenever a man has a beautiful woman, he doesn’t know how to fully love and accept her for who she is on the inside or her mind. It takes a secure man to be able to be with a woman who is attractive and has a brain. Men and women get possessive over their significant other. Especially if you’re in the public eye and they feel everyone should back up off you.

What they fail to realized is that you are not a possession, you don’t belong to them. It’s very naive to think that your S.O. will never find another person attractive. Attractive people in the public eye, feel isolated. It can be a pretty lonely way to live. You never know why someone wants to be with you. It’s both a blessing and a curse. This is article is not a pity article for attractive people, you can’t help how you look.

It’s just an in-depth observation. When people notice that you find them attractive, that’s always going to be at the forefront of everything. Attractive people are bombarded with adulation. People think every attractive man or woman has many lovers and that is simply not the case. Why is it that we have these negative stigmas surrounded by our idea of beauty or what we deem to be attractive?

We automatically don’t trust them because they are attractive in our eyes. I know people who are beautiful on the inside and it reflects on the outside, that suffer from low self-esteem, depression and they don’t see themselves as attractive because of how people treat them. Everything is about their looks. Attractive people have to fight harder for people to see that they actually have a brain. They’re craving to be SEEN.

The intimacy they crave is being overshadowed by their looks. They feel they are never going to find love, so some settle just to have someone, even if it means that they are not treated well. To them, somebody is better than nobody. They simply do not love themselves enough to wait for the right person to accept them for who they are. Why is it so hard for people to look into someones soul and see that’s where their true beauty lies.

You have people who know they are attractive and they want the whole world to know it. They have no humility. I’ve been called names by people who think I’m a stuck up and they never had a conversation with me. I hear all the time from people, “Oh my God you’re so nice and sweet. I thought you was a bitch.” And I’m like why? This is all because of how I look. I simply do not see what people see when they look at me.

Anyone who knows me on a person level, knows I don’t like attention of any kind. I hear from men all the time, its hard to find a woman who is both beautiful on the inside as well as the outside and has a mind. Or all the qualities that they want in a woman. But when men find this kind of woman, they fail to know how to treat her. Especially if she’s in independent. Some men will try to make this kind of woman feel insecure, because of how he feels about himself. Instead of letting this woman evolve. He’ll try to hold her back and become possessive.

It takes a secure man to be with a woman who other men find attractive. Thank goodness for songs like  New Edition’s, “Sorry you’re not my kind of girl”. Which is one of my favorite songs by them. I love this song, because you don’t always hear men say things like in music. Songs like this just prove that just because you’re beautiful doesn’t mean, that I’m attracted to you. I need to get to know you first on a deeper level. There needs to be chemistry. Not everybody is blinded by beauty.

Songs like “Shop Around”  Lets you know, a man wants a well-rounded woman, that has something going for herself, as well as being attractive. You gotta bring more to the table than just your looks. Looks can only hold your attention but for so long. Dreams and goals are attractive. Have this for yourself, not for a man. Men are tired of carrying a woman. You gotta shop around and selective. I think BBD learned their lesson. They learned to look at more than just a big butt and a smile, LOL :). Hope you enjoyed!

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