When I found out my dear Kindred Friend, Brenda Knowles was releasing a book. The Quiet Rise Of Introverts I couldn’t have been anymore excited! I thought to myself finally a book that will explain how introverts deal with relationships.
There seems to be a lot of misconception about introverts and highly sensitive people who feels things deeply. This book is not about hiding from the world or ducking underneath the bed when company comes over, lol.
This book is about how to handle a noisy extroverted world and how to manage your personal relationships. How to thrive, be understood and handle conflict with being a sensitive introverted soul. As introverts we tend to go inward avoiding conflict of any kind. Most people think if your quiet, you’re unaffected and cold. When they can’t be anymore further from the truth.
Introverts just tend to go inward, take it in and assess their emotions before speaking, especially if you’re an INFJ like me. We’re not cold and callous, we just think before we speak. What I love about these 8 principles is that Brenda goes in depth letting you know it’s ok. To feel your emotions and to know that’s it’s ok to quiet and centered in order to heal yourself.
So many times we sacrifice our happiness and peace for others but we don’t have to, we can set clear emotional boundaries and they can be respected. It’s all about the approach. If you’re feeling lost about how to approach this busy world and how to deal with arising conflict, you will want to get this book.
I love Brenda’s approach. She uses all her senses even her extra senses. Which we all have that we don’t tap into or know it’s there. That’s what I pick up because I have 3 eyes. I’ll let that marinate lol.
The only way to assess your thoughts and handle conflict is to be vulnerable and let your guard down so you can be fully understood. Relationship shouldn’t make you give up anything especially who you are, you can be authentically you and be unapologetic about it!
I’ll never forget the day I found Brenda Knowles Space to live. It was February 11 2015. Just that date alone is special to me because I’m an 11 and this number had been with me for years. A lot of things are always happening to me on an 11 day and when it’s 11 minutes pass the hour. The day I found Brenda site, my soul was searching, ready to express itself and to stop hiding.
I felt out-of-place with my emotions but I knew I was normal. I said to myself I know there has to be other souls out here just like me. All the things that I felt I knew there had to be someone who understood and not judge me for it. Before the new year came in I did more than just spring cleaning, I did a people cleans. I got tired of people draining me.
I would fill their cup up while mines was being drained even when my cup was full. I even turned my phone off for over 2 years. I didn’t want to be reachable because the people attaching themselves to me just drained me. They weren’t supportive. They didn’t want to talk about anything in-depth.
They just wanted to kick it over the phone and gossip. They already settled down in their comfortable lives of marriage, kids and house and they were bored. So anything I talked about with significance was boring to them. Where you’re a person who’s always evolving and open to change, people may not receive this well. People always reject what they don’t understand.
When people are forced to take a look at themselves they avoid it like the plague. It’s to deep, it’s to personal even with themselves and others. All I know is that before my 35 birthday kicked in, I was ready for a deep spiritual change. I felt the holy spirit talking to me. Letting me know that it was ok to express myself. That no matter how vulnerable I felt.
I knew I had to write. I knew I had to allow myself to feel because somewhere along the way I forgot about me, when I didn’t even realize it. My deep sensual emotions were being suppressed in my relationships with people. I was told I was to sensitive. It’s not that serious, that I think too much and don’t take yourself so seriously.
All from people who suppressed their emotions. People were always attacking my personality even though they were being drawn to me, like a moth to a flame. How deeply I felt about music was also being attacked. I had no love or romance in my life. Men just wanted to be with me because they were in love with the idea of me. I rejected this type of interaction as it drained me.
As my senses picked up in this energy instantaneously. The problem was on their end, is that I knew myself and they didn’t. Most people don’t know who they are, they don’t spend time alone to hear their own thoughts. All I know is that the day I found Brenda, I felt supported I felt love. I found a kindred spirit. I knew I could be myself. It felt good to be seen. I could breathe.
I know that if she could see me like that, there is hope romantically and with other areas of my life, for me to be seen in that light too one day. I knew that being sensual, sensitive, soft feminine and vulnerable I was being the best version of myself, regardless if my nature attracted negativity. People that can’t handle my light. Of course they would try to dim it because they never experienced it before.
Brenda took time out of her busy schedule to talk to me. She responded not just my comments but the comments of others as well. Brenda knew that her voice was needed and helped me slowly but surely get comfortable in reclaiming and releasing mine. I had over 3,000 articles that I’ve written and notes that I slowly started to release. I just needed to hit publish.
Yes, I was scared, these were my deepest thoughts about life and love. I just didn’t want to be criticized. I remember when I signed up to blog in 2013, I didn’t submit not one entry until 2015. All I wanted to do was share, inspire, reach people and help people. I just didn’t want the negativity but no matter what one does that will come. There are people who attack my articles because I’m so passionate and you know what I don’t give a F***. Lol.
For every person who spews negativity, there are those who love me and my words find them in the middle of the night. There are those who take the time out to read my words and share and comment. So my voice is needed. No matter how scared I am, I have to stop letting fear live rent free and kick that mother&$%^$ out, lol. Because fear can be a free loading SOB. Robbing you of everything that’s good and stealing your spirits joy.
So Brenda, I just want to give you a THANK YOU. Thank you for your support. Thank you for seeing me and others and for giving us the space to live, because that is what’s truly missing in relationships, breathing room. That’s whats missing in the world being seen authentically. For someone to get us and we don’t have to fight so hard to be understood. I’m grateful for you, more than you’ll ever know. The world needs more souls just like you. And what a beautiful sensual soul it is! I love you immensely my sister, my friend. Thank you!