Hidden Figures: Women…. We Are So Powerful, If Only Some Of Us Really Believe That

I was watching the movie ‘Hidden Figures” and I absolutely love this movie. Every time I watch it, it makes me feel proud and empowered.

I remembered when I was little I thought about being a space cadet, lol. When you’re a child you believe you can be and do anything.

It’s not all the time you see movies like this coming out every year, that uplift women of color and show how intelligent we are. Seeing these women accomplish great things with NASA didn’t surprise me. I know who built those pyramids. I’ll let that marinate…

This movie has such a powerful strength and energy to it. More movies like this should be made every year. In media women are overly sexualized. Always being looked at as the damsel in distress, that’s looking for a man to take care of her and ride off into the sunset, as if we need rescuing all the time.

I’m tired of movies showing women giving up their life and careers for love, baby and marriage, and in real life, only to be disappointed and blindsided. I’ve come across so many women that have regrets over leaving their life behind for love. The one thing you can not get back is time. Life goes on and you are not getting any younger. These women were seen as a threat at times, in society women with a brain and if you have beauty to match that, are a threat to some men and even other women and it shouldn’t be.

As I watched this movie, it just dawns on me every time that us women, we are so amazing, so powerful, we have such a resilient strength and we need to take pride in that. Theres nothing that we can’t do. Nothing that we can’t overcome. Have you ever thought about how powerful, how amazing, how strong and beautiful you are as a woman. As women… we give life… let me say that again. We give life. Sit with that for a moment. 

It’s not just because of our birth canal, were innovators, life doesn’t happen without us. Being born a female is not something that should make us feel ashamed. A woman should not feel like she should have been born a male. Being born female is not a sin. Too many women today act more masculine than men. It’s confusing to some women stepping into masculine energy all the time. Some women feel like in order to get equal rights and pay they have to behave like men.

They’re confused about which role and gender they should play out in society. Let me tell you something, you don’t have to do any of that. You can be feminine, sensual, soft, kind, sweet, fierce, calm, have beauty and brains and still get what you want. You can still live the life you want. You can still have the love you want. You don’t have to be controlling and manipulative in your relationships. You can be peaceful and in return be your significant others peace (as long as he’s a good man). It’s not in your nature to be loud and rude. It is in your nature to be powerful and to lead your own life and have accountability.

You can be intelligent and not feel like you have to dumb yourself down. I’ve seen too many women downplay who they are for love. Don’t do that. If a man is intimidated that’s his problem not yours. Move on because he’s not the one for you. In the past, people (especially men) have tried to make me feel stupid for having a brain and using it.

I’m not going to be ashamed for having a brain and using it. For constantly challenging myself and being in competition with myself. I know that one day God will bless me with a love that won’t be intimidate by my mind. I revel in being a woman. I love being a sensual woman. I love my peaceful loving spirit. I love getting to know myself. I love evolving, learning.

I know that my feminine energy is needed in the world and you should believe that too! I just love how in this movie these women transcended the odds. They wanted something and they went for it. They didn’t let any man stand in their way, if anything, they walked away. Taraji walked away from that man when he insulted women’s intelligence, knowing her worth as a woman. He had no choice but to apologize and realize he had someone special in front of his face.

Even Aldis Hodge set his ego aside for Janelle and bought her some pencils and supported her when she wanted to go back to school. Thats love right there. I love that scene. I have yet to come across a man now that’s supportive. Women like this need a voice. With movies like this and all the powerful women in the world. It bothers me when I see women play small. It bothers me when I see some women living off of successful men and feel entitled to someone else’s hard work, money and success.

It bothers me when I see women stop living their life in exchange for a care-free life. I came across an article where this woman was talking about in 2 years she plans to marry a rich man, because she didn’t want to pay bills and she wanted to have security. Why do women feel like in order for them to have what they want, they have to get it by a man? This is not the 1950’s. And its crazy because 8 times out of 10, these gold-digging superficial women with hidden motives wind up getting the man. Men level up please! A pretty face and body don’t pay the bills….Anyway….

A woman should not give up on her own life and dreams and future aspirations just because she marries a successful man. It makes no sense to me when a woman gives up on her education, just to remain at home and do nothing, then when the relationship/marriage ends, she has no clue who she is because her whole identity was wrapped up in a fantasy. With all the advances and smart powerful women out there, why would a woman choose to be lazy and dependent? I don’t get it and I never will.

There’s so much more a woman could be doing with her life. There are no guarantees in life, even in marriage and a woman should not put herself in a position to depend on a man for her every need. A woman should know the power she possess to make her dreams come true. It’s 2018 and some women are still looking for an easy way out. I’ve seen way to many post with women saying “train a man, he’s supposed to provide, set the standards.” These women are single 😐. Need I say more? Men are not trying to hear that anymore, unless they want to control you but a lot of men want a woman who has her own thing going on.

These women in Hidden Figures have beauty and brains and a family and they were working at NASA making history. When I saw Janelle Monae, sitting in the classroom I remembered being that woman. I remember when I was 22 and I was the only woman of color, in a room full of Indian and caucasian men studying for my Oracle DBA and my MCDST certifications. These men and even my teacher looked at me like what is she doing here? But I walked in there with my head held high. I don’t know why men are surprised by women working in technology. Every time I raised my hand I saw the stares. It made me laugh.

As you  can see from the movie, they needed a woman to help launch these men into space. So don’t underestimate us women. Women if you don’t know how powerful and intelligent you are, you better get back to remembering. Don’t play small in life. Stop feeling entitled for what you haven’t worked for. A man is not your meal ticket or security blanket. Don’t wrap your identity up in a man and lose the very essence of who you are. You were born to do great things in this world. Gods plan for your life, is not for you to live off a man whether he’s in the public eye or not.

The plan is not to just be a wife and a mother and that’s it. You are so much more than that. You can do anything you want. Step up and stand in your divinity as a woman, your daughter(s) need to see that. Your son(s) need to see that, this is the kind of woman you should marry. A woman who has a life and career of her own. Other women of the world need you to be their voice and inspiration too. We have women in other parts of the world that don’t have opportunity and privilege to even go to school or work. They are suppressed for even speaking and being a woman. So stand up for those women, make your mark for those women.

Don’t take advantage of the opportunities here or someone else’s hard work and work ethic and time they put it to be successful. Someone else’s success is not a byproduct and it’s not meant for you to have it easy. Travel, buy your own house and car. Buy your own things. Pay your own rent and bills, experience life on your own before you go shacking up with some guy to avoid being an adult. There’s a great sense of accomplishment when you work for something and you know that you’ve earned it and somebody didn’t just hand it to you. When you don’t work for something you take it for granted, and the person who brought you into their world, thinking that you’ll always have that.

My mother taught me, never settle…. live your live, don’t live in someone else’s shadow. No one is going to take care of you like that. I saw everything my mother went though with no help and I learned from her and other women, I saw doing the same thing, and I knew that was NEVER going to be me. Theres nothing wrong if you want a family one day and to be married but that shouldn’t be your main goal since you were 5. Oh the many times I’ve heard women say “I wanted to be married since I was a little girl.” Dreaming about a fantasy wedding and being taken care of, when life is not a fairytale.

Thats how we raise little girls before they can even understand what all of that entails. We don’t do that to young boys. This is why women mature quicker and leave home and are more independent than boys. Boys mature at a slower rate, they leave home late, mothers baby their sons. Then they look for that in a woman. Life doesn’t equip them with what women have. We bear the burden. We don’t tell them at 5 be a father and get married. This is why men don’t see that as a main goal like women do.

If it was up to men they would settle down, probably never or probably when they are in their late 40s to 50s after they have established their career and financial wealth. But then what happens, they meet a woman and then they give a woman what she wants while trying to juggle everything, it becomes too much. When I see a women give up their life and have regret, I really can’t feel sorry for them. Nobody told you to live off this man and believe that he would take care of you to the end of your days. Nobody told you to let life pass you by. You’re not disabled. Get off your ass. Nobody owes you anything simply for being a woman.

I’ve been seeing a lot of women make turnarounds the past few years and now and I’m happy for them. I just hope they are doing it for the right reasons. Don’t do it because of a man and to get back in his good graces and finally be the woman he needed you to be all along. Do it for you, have your own legacy. Make a name for yourself. Think about the woman you want to become without the famous last name. Don’t be known by association. What is that doing for you? Nothing! You can’t help who you meet and fall in love with and what they do but…

If a successful man brings you into his world, complement that mans life, don’t simply be a receiver and give nothing. Build on that legacy don’t just get up everyday and do nothing. Relationships end all the time. You want to be able to look back with no regret and say I work for this. I accomplished this. Not, I was married to so and so and that’s it. Stop looking for the easy way out. Life is tough at times but life will also drop kick you on your ass, if you don’t step into the person you are meant to be, because you’ve been sipping on that tea, called “comfort” for years and never prospering.

Now you’re single and realized you have to be alone, now what are you going to do? You’re going to pick yourself up and stop feeling sorry for yourself and live your life. Figure out who you are. Make sure you are happy because happiness does not come from a man, baby and marriage. That’s so overrated. So go back to school, get that degree or certification. Start that business. Stop settling. Don’t be afraid to fail and don’t be afraid to succeed either. You don’t have to wish you can be successful, you can be successful if you work at it. Love yourself please…. Honor yourself and know that God has your back every step of the way.

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