I don’t know who needs this message and who needs to receive this, but I just wanted to talk about what happen to me, in the middle of the night as I was laying there in silence. Thinking about so many things having that one on one time with God. There are some things going on in my life, that I know will work its way out. I’m faithful! I know God has my back. I choose not to focus on whats not working out and what I have no control over.
As God was talking to me and I as lay there listening. Thinking about what he was saying to me, all the things I wanted to do, people I wanted to help and where I wanted to be. I didn’t pray to ask for anything. I started crying and thanking him because I was so grateful! I was overwhelmed by Gods love for me. For keeping me safe even when I felt abandon by others. I was thinking about all of the things that God saved me from. All the people he saved me from.
All of the things that never worked out including relationships. When God said to me, “something is not right about this person RUN!” All the things that could have broken my spirit. Everything that I survived and I was just grateful. Just for keeping me sane some people just have no idea. For using people and music to heal my heart. For the many times my heart was so heavy and God whispered “give it to me, let it go” and I did.
God knows that I have been doing so much on my own and he said “don’t worry. I will send the right people to you. Don’t chase or go after anyone. Those people who give you their silence, they are not ready for your light (let me work on them) send them love, positive energy and keep it moving.” I was so happy and overwhelmed I wanted to share it with someone, but I didn’t have anyone to call, lol.
I said to myself, that’s ok, let me just lay here, be in this moment alone and I’ll share later. I just wanted to get it in someone else’s spirit that God has not forgotten about you. If you can just hold on just a little bit longer. I know things may seem messed up and you don’t see a way. I know, trust me, we’ve all been there when we just want things to work out, we just want the suffering and stagnation to end. But remember his timing not ours.
Patience is a virtue and it takes patience to be obedient. We must remember that in moments of silence, God is ALWAYS, ALWAYS there. Even when we can’t hear or see whats going on behind the scenes, he’ll do things to let us know. I hear you. I hear your spirit crying out to me. In those moments we have to trust. I was grateful for all my senses working and that I was even breathing and alive in that moment, because the reality is, we all don’t know when God will call us home.
Because when you think about it God gives us chance after chance. I think about how so many people whether I know them or not, how they just succumbed to whatever lifestyle they were living and eventually the way you live has consequences and they are no longer here. I was just so grateful that God and his angels have always protected me, gave me insight, discernment, wisdom, intuition and to be able to learn from my mistakes.
Now, there have been quite a few times when I was disobedient (be honest with yourself) because God gives us free will. And trust me I had to pay for that and I didn’t like it. Sometimes when we ask for something or go against something and we choose something and God says “NO” and we hear it loud and clear what do we do? We go after what we want because we think we know whats good for us and sometimes we don’t.
Someone called me perfect the other day and I didn’t like it, I’m like if you only knew. People look at me as if I have everything or all the answers to life and I don’t. It’s called Gods grace. When it comes to what God has called or ask me to do. I lean not on my own understanding. I only say and do things because of him. There are times when I’m like “what God you must be crazy, lol” I’ll get back to that when I have time.
Big No, No…. that’s not the way God and life works and there are consequences for not being obedient and when you attach fear to it, there are even bigger consequences because the very thing you need to do. Somebody needs it because it’s not about you. When I’m fearful of something, I know that even fear can have a positive side because if you’re not scared. You’re playing it to safe! A lot of people don’t like to admit when they are playing it safe. They figure you know what? I’ll stay in my lane.
If you’re not bold and say things and ask for things, how else will you know if you are able to have it or what the answer may be? If you get a No, that’s ok! If people ignore you that’s ok too! Don’t make it about you or think that something is wrong with you, people have their reasons why they do what they do. People come around when they are ready to come around but the thing is not to take it personal.
I did something bold a few days ago and I did it because God told me to. “I said you’re not going to let this go, are you?” I’m like, what if this person never talks to me or thinks I’m crazy? So?.. but I had to do it. I had a dream about it and it was on my mind and when God doesn’t let something go in your spirit, it’s because he wants you to surrender and be obedient even if it’s just an emotion or something you need to say.
I recorded my message and sent it. And it felt good to get that out of my system and heart because what I did was out of love, no hidden motive. Just love. Sometimes people are so used to people hurting, using them and wanting something from them and the very thing that they are thinking and are afraid of, it’s not even like that. Not everyone is out to hurt or use you.
Before I even said anything I was like you want me to do what? I’m not doing that. There I was again, being disobedient asking questions just like a little kid. But God said No, I put fierceness in you. I gave you the ability to be vocal, to speak your truth and I need you to say it. So what if you get silence. Say how you feel and I did. What I’ve been wanting to say it has been over a year since I’ve been feeling this way. Yeah I know I could have been said something and I tried in small ways.
I thought try another way of communicating. Maybe this person needs to hear my voice, sense my energy. You ever felt a gravitational pull to someone or several people and you’re like what the hell is that? Yeah, that’s what I was experiencing but it’s so much deeper than that. There are times when any one of us can feel like we can be a light in someone else’s life, even if we don’t know them personally. Maybe there’s something we have inside of us that they need, that their spirit is calling for, something that we can help them with and vice versa.
God gives us gifts and answer prayers and uses people in so many unexpected ways. They’re called earth angels. You never know how help and love will arrive and show up. But if one keeps running how will you be able to receive it? When I sent my message I said “I already know this person is not going to say anything” (and I laugh) I was a bit uncomfortable. Being bold will do that, but you know what I don’t care about how uncomfortable I was.
Because God told me to do it and I listen to him first before I listen to anyone else. I even fight with myself but you can’t run from yourself and your thoughts or feelings especially when you feel something in your gut. But like I said it was out of love and the one thing I’m not going to do is pretend anymore, as if I don’t see whats going on just because this person is afraid to acknowledge my presence and how they feel. I’m like you can continue to run and give me your silence but just know that I see you… I see you and I feel you. I understand.
I know you’re afraid. I send you nothing but love. I don’t want anything from you. I already know that this person just doesn’t know how to receive my energy because it’s not what this person is used to. I see how this person is comfortable with the kind of attention and admiration they receive. But at the end of the day this person wants love. I know this person is use to NOT BEING SEEN and people using their presence for their own egotistical gains whatever that might be. I know that it is going to take work and healing for this person to trust again on so many levels.
When people are afraid and the run, pray for them, talk to God for them. Set aside how you feel. Don’t get all in your feelings. Ask God to continue to show them what they need to see so they can start to heal. Its going to take some time to undo all that damage. Just continue to send love and light. We underestimate the healing power of LOVE. And the only reason why we do, because we underestimate what God can do when he is absent from our life. God is Love. So therefore healing is possible.
As I’m writing this and sending love, I saw pink and white lights and sensed angels around me. Thats all one needs to do. Be obedient and surrender. I know that in several moments that God used me to let this person know in our spiritual and physical conversation, that there are people out there that can give you the love you deeply seek. It doesn’t have to come from the person given you the message but to know that whatever you want and ask for in silence, God hears you and other assigned spiritual sources hear you too.
There is so much power, beauty and love in surrendering and being obedient. You never know what may come out of it. Try it!