Peace Is Possible In A Relationship

8cb7eb5f732c243388a6dd11ddc4d777Imagine just for a moment, never arguing with your significant other. What does that feel like? Imagine having peace in your relationship to the point, where you are free to express yourself.

Imagine being able to express yourself in a loving comfortable environment, where you are being heard and understood. When it comes to peace in a relationship, why do so many people think that it’s hard to come by and maintain?

Why do people think love is loud and not quiet? In order to have peace in your relationship, you have to be a peaceful person. When you love and respect your partner. There will be no need to have loud arguments.

People ask me all the time, what makes you upset? People find it weird that I don’t raise my voice and that I don’t argue. When I remain calm for some strange reason it makes people upset. They try to get a rise out of me on purpose. My question is why should I argue? I’ve never been an argumentative person.

I think before I talk instead of reacting first. Whenever I feel a certain way about something. I access my emotional state. I don’t talk when I’m frustrated or angry. I get quiet. I think (and over think) about what I have to say and the effect it’s going to have on the other person. I make sure I choose the right words as to not offend and disrespect.

My goal is to express myself and to be understood and to be heard. If I choose the wrong words it will negate my purpose. If I don’t like something that was said or something that was done to me. I express my opinion about it in a calm and loving way. I have control over my emotions. I can get angry if I wanted to but there are other choices.

I’m human and it takes a lot to make me upset, to the point that I raise my voice or I argue. I don’t like arguing in the first place. I’m a very opinionated woman. If I don’t like something you will know. It will be written all over my face. One of my relationships, we never argued. When two people respect one another and they are careful with each others heart and emotions, there is no need to argue.

When a person argues with another person, there’s always something that is being suppressed. Their anger is being directed to you for some particular reason. The problem might be you, other times it has nothing to do with you at all. Thats why it’s important to listen to your partner and to communicate with them and to choose peace.

If you see your partner is upset. BE their peace and take control of conversation in a loving way. Ask them to breathe, touch them, take their hand. Embrace them. Smile at them. Keep your voice mellow. Usually when one person is calm, it makes the other person calm. Sometimes people just have a hard time expressing themselves.

I sometimes don’t get why people argue when there is a conflict. Why not choose peace and love over conflict and ego. If your goal is to be understood and heard, to feel important and that you matter. Calm down. Have a conversation with yourself and God before you bring negative emotions and energy towards another person.

It feels good to have peace. It means you respect each other. You agree to disagree. It shows that you set your ego aside. It makes you express yourself even more and to lean into your partner, instead of turning away from them during difficult times. Really take a breath. If it’s not going to matter in 5 years, then it shouldn’t matter in 5 seconds.

Always remember to be kind to your significant other no matter how angry or frustrated you may get. Communication is the key but it must be peaceful. Choose your words wisely. Remember love is not loud. Love is peaceful and quiet. Love is respectful and inspiring.

I love the quote below by Denzel Washington but of course this goes both ways. Be each others peace. Because peace really is possible in a relationship.

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Words Do Matter: Pray, Forgive And Move On

img_0324They say that “sticks and stones may break your bones but words may never hurt you.” We all know that saying, can’t be anymore further from the truth. Words do matter. How many times have you or someone you know, said something so disrespectful and hurtful. That it cut you and that person so deep and ruined your relationship.

Words hold energy. Words have the power to break your spirit and words have the power to uplift your spirit. Whenever I say something to someone. I think before I speak, I gather my words, so there is clarity. I’m always careful with my words. People (men) may say I’m long-winded, that’s because I want to be as meticulous as possible.

I don’t disrespect people on purpose. I know how it feels to be emotionally abused by words. I’ve also seen the mental effect, of verbal abuse with my father towards my mother when she was alive. Words stick with you long after the physical abuse. Those are the scars that nobody sees. The words that you only hear, long after they have been said.

The words that keep echoing in your head hour after hour, day after day. For some, they may be able to brush it off and act like they don’t care, to seem tough. But they do care. The other day, someone I considered to be a friend, that I respected, admired, that I always supported disrespected me.

When I heard that F word come out his mouth. I immediately hung up the phone. It wasn’t just the word he used, it was how he said it and the tone of his voice. It sound like such hate. From the moment I answered the phone, it was clear that he was in a certain type of mood. It literally drained me and made me sick.

img_0318I tried to eat and my stomach kept turning and I couldn’t keep anything down. People may say, you’re being to sensitive.  When something makes you sick. No you’re not. Words can make you sick. If can make you fearful. Even the look in someone’s eyes can make you feel a certain way when it’s done with malice.

As a sensitive soul and empathic person. I feel everything deeply, no matter if it’s positive or negative. When others are hurting, I’m hurting too. I take on their pain when I don’t mean to. It happens with music, instruments, movies, animals. I’m very connected. I used to think I was to sensitive, but its the way that I am and there are others out there just like me.

It takes me a few days to recharge my spiritual and mental battery, after toxic words have entered my vessel. The same happens when I’m around toxic people. The last time I felt that way was when my father said that word to me, a long with other words that I can’t even say. No man should talk to a woman that way, especially his daughter.

What my father said to me, It was so disrespectful, I didn’t see or speak to my father for 19 years. Although I forgave him so that I could heal and move on. It wasn’t the first time he used those words. He’s been using those words all his life, especially towards women. He used those words towards my mother and my sisters.

I vowed I would never talk to a man or be with a man, who ever disrespected me like that and I never will. The way this person came at me, he acted like I hurt him or was out to get him. Had he calmed down, he would have heard my side and got clarity. This is exactly why I don’t like to text. Texting and even emailing, you misinterpret things.

 

Had he calmed down and heard me, instead of wanting to ALWAYS talk first. There would have been no reason for him, to ever use those words and that tone with me. Hearing those words hurt me. Because as much as this person has come out of his mouth indirectly, being an asshole, I just dismissed it. I just thought he was high. But it was never this bad as to what took place recently.

I don’t take to kind to blatant disrespect. Especially for no reason. When you disrespect someone, you get disrespected right back. I told him to kiss my ass and I used the F word right back and that was that. Normally I’m not a person who talks that way. People have told me I don’t sound right cursing, lol and I don’t. But give me a reason to and I will.

I had to ask God to forgive me, for saying those words. But I was angry for a few seconds but more so hurt. Because I would never do anything to hurt or disrespect someone, that I considered to be a friend. But for him to disrespect me like that, with no regard and no apology. That speaks volumes about his character. I know he never really cared or loved me as a friend or anything else.

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It’s hard to talk to someone when they only see their way, and they think they are right 99% of the time or they really don’t care to hear anything you have to say. People who think they know everything, will always think you are wrong and accuse you, before you even open your mouth. I can’t have a conversation with someone who doesn’t know how to effectively communicate.

It hurts the most when you have been there for people. Showing your love and support and then they turn around and disrespect you as if it was nothing. I asked myself, what happened? What happened to the guy I met before I relocated. That we hung out like two teenagers and had a great time. Who is this man who has been cold towards me and distant ever since I moved here.

It’s hard to be a friend to someone, when they have a problem with being friends and when feelings get involved. I have done nothing but showed this person through my words and actions, that I’m a good person with a big heart. That I would never let any harm come towards him, but I can’t say the same for him towards me.

 

I don’t have anything to prove to anyone, but when I say I’m a friend. It shows through my actions. Whenever I feel I may have said something, or raised my tone and made someone feel a certain way. I was always quick to apologize. Always caring about his feelings or anybody. But I realized I never got the same in return.

He even pointed out to me, that I give a damn about other people’s feelings and that the women he has met or been with don’t. So why the blatant disrespect. Why is it that the people who are there for others, get screwed the most? But the people who hurt us, we welcome their toxic behavior.

img_0310Are we that addicted to pain? Are we that comfortable with it? Why have our hearts become so wounded, that we don’t even trust or recognize real love and support anymore? It’s hurts..it really does when all you do is love and you’re there and you’re the ones who gets treated badly.

Yes we all say things we don’t mean at times, but how many times. Once to many times is not a mistake. It’s a conscious choice to disrespect someone and not own up to your behavior. It took me a couple of days to be ok. I’m still disappointed but I’ll get over it. I know I don’t ever want to feel that way again.

If someone ever disrespects you, in any way, whether they put their hands on you or verbally, please do yourself a favor and walk away. Do whatever you need to do to protect yourself. To feel safe. No one should ever have to put up with verbal abuse. Always stick up for yourself, because there are no victims here. Even in your silence that shows you are strong.

Don’t stoop to their level of arrogance. Somebody has to be the bigger person. If you find yourself in an abusive toxic relationship with anyone, male, female, family or friend, colleague put a stop to it and get help, especially if it’s been years. Words can be damaging and break your spirit.

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Don’t let anyone dim your light. Remember you are love and just continue to be the love and light that you want in the world. God will bring the right people in your life, who will treat you with love and respect because you deserve it. Forgive for yourself, forgive them but that doesn’t mean you have to let them back in your life. Know your worth!

God is love! Namaste!

Love Is Suppose To Inspire You

When you think about love and the type of love you want in your life. Does it inspire you? Does love make you want to be a better person? Does love inspire you to go after your dreams?

Well…it’s suppose to…

Love is supposed to inspire you. We all should want the type of love that inspires us to dream big and be better versions of ourselves. Love is not supposed to hold you back and make you feel like you’re in prison.

When you have someone in your life that you care for, love is supposed to inspire you to share your aspirations with them. You’ll get excited about sharing your thoughts, ideas. Because you know that they will be excited for you. Love is supposed to support you and make you feel secure.

In case you havent noticed 🙂 LOL… I’m passionate about home life  and the kind of love I want in my life, is someone who’s supportive of my passion. Not someone who will take advantage of me being domesticated.

Whenever I mention I love to cook, some man is always trying to lock me down. I’m not going to just cook for any man. If I cook for you, I must really, really like you. Cooking is a sign of affection. It’s what love taste like.

When I envision the kind of love I want, it’s peaceful, it’s quiet. It’s the kind of love that reminds me of home. The person you decide to share your life with, should feel like home to you, mentally, physically and spiritually. You should feel free. They should be easy to love. Their heart should be open.

Anyone can have a house, I know plenty of people who have nice houses and apartments, but there is no love in it. It doesn’t feel like home. You will know in your heart when someone feels like home. You’ll never get tired of talking to them. They brighten up your day, just seeing them and hearing their voice.

You’ll want to do things with them, you never imagined doing with anyone else. You’ll consider them before you make decisions in your life, as you want them to be part of the decision-making process..It’s a selfless act…people are forgetting to be thoughtful to one another.

When you include your partner. They feel thought of, because you don’t have to include them but you want to, because you care about their input. Ultimately the decision is yours. But it feels nice to consult, so you know you are not alone either and that they care about your choices.

I may not feel at times that love will happen for me, but I’m getting there. Each day no matter how I feel, I’m doing my best to be open to love. I do my best to be a demonstration of love. Especially with forgiveness but make no mistake, I’m no fool!! 🙂

I’ve been waiting a long time on every level….so I’m trusting God that he will have my back on this one. If you are stuck in a dead-end relationship and you’re not inspired to love. Then do the both of yourselves a favor and get out…Ruuuuunnn, like that emoji on the iPhone, lol

No one has time to waste and life is short in a sense. So you need to be loving passionately or not loving at all.

You Have A Right To Know Where You Stand With Someone, When There Is An Attraction

11355196_915779301791278_1080568207_nHave you ever been talking to the opposite sex and had great conversation. Became friends and started taking a liking to one another on some level. You think this person has a great personality.

Have you spent weeks and months and maybe even years talking. And you’re thinking to yourself, me and this person, really get along. There’s occasional flirting here and there.

Next thing you know the conversation turns to sex or someone jokes about the future with you. Just so you know, all jokes have some truth in it. You feel the chemistry but are afraid to make the first move or ask what are you to this person. You want to know where you stand. It feels like you have pass the friend stage, but no one is being clear about where they want this to go.

I remember when I was in my 20s, I was chatting online with my teacher when he came out and asked me. Why do I talk to him? What is it about me that you like?… I told him we had great conversation. I really saw him as just a friend. He dropped the bomb on me, a few sentences in, when he told me he liked me. I think sometimes my brain operates on dial-up, because I was completely oblivious to how he felt.

When a man compliments me or flirt, to be honest I really don’t pay them any mind, because I’m automatically thinking, this guy wants to sleep with me, (and that may very well be true), but that’s not all some guys want. My teacher explained to me, that to a man, when he’s talking to a woman for so long, that their mind automatically thinks there is more going on. Their mind drifts to sex quite often too. If she’s stimulating his mind.

They secretly think, she likes me, just as much as I like her…I found out later on in life this is true,….because men have told me, that I was their woman and I had no clue we were even dating, lol. Once I told my teacher what I thought about him. He logged offline and I didn’t hear from him in two years. He didn’t answer my calls, emails, nothing.. He told me he had to get me out of his system.

Limit our conversation. Us being so close and being able to talk  about anything, was confusing to him and he wanted me, and since he couldn’t have me, he stopped talking to me. He dropped my ass like a bad habit, lol….yeah I was hurt…I missed him confiding in me..he told me he healed in a lot of ways by talking to me and I just wanted to be that light and good friend in his life.

I think it’s important that men have healthy communication with a woman, without it always being about sex and so much talk about the future… The men I meet are longing to be heard, seen, appreciated and they want love an affection too, but it’s important that friendship not be skipped. It’s important that there is a mental connection… I said to myself ok and just I gave him time…

Men do this to me all the time, so it’s nothing new. This is why I don’t date because it seems like every guy is a magician and pulls disappearing acts. My teacher was at a point in his life where he wanted to settle down and raise a family and he thought that woman could be me. But I just saw him as my teacher and me as his student and I didn’t want to go there.

We eventually started talking again after the two-year break. He didn’t want to lose my friendship and I forgave him. It’s how he felt and I had to respect that….our relationship fizzled over time and now he’s married. But he had every right to ask where he stood with me and what I thought of him.

f841a411fb8b22b69fa184c114eed971Whenever I’m talking to someone and I’m interested, I want to know where I stand with them. but then sometimes, the other party does not want to let me know where I stand.

The reason is because they want to keep the possibility open that there could be more one day. It’s a guy’s job, that when he wants a woman, and he doesn’t want her to be interested in another man.

He’s going to say whatever he can, to make sure that this woman thinks they are together or that there could be a possibility for a relationship. A guy will check in and see if the woman, he’s still attracted to is seeing someone else. Men do this to me all the time, they know I’m not the type to jump from one guy to the next.

When you don’t know where you stand. It can start to feel like you are being indirectly strung a long. If the man or woman you are talking to is avoiding the talk. Then that tells you that they don’t like confrontation. Most people figure, if I ignore her/him, then as time goes by, they’ll forget and I can just pick up where I left off.

Some people want to be chased. They figure if you are still communicating with them, while they figure out where they want to be in your life and whatever may be going on in their life that, as long as you communicate, they know they can worm their way back in. If that person is not considering how you feel, then their silence should tell you exactly what you mean to them.

Which is nothing. That they have moved on and maybe you should do the same. Anyone who truly cares and is adult enough, will be honest and forthcoming about how they feel about you. They will respect how you feel and will want to know, how you feel too if they truly care. Time is precious and if you don’t know where you stand with someone, it’s time to start walking.

 

Why More People Are Choosing To Be Single, Rather Than Be In A Relationship

There are a lot of people out there, that want love in their life but the older they get, it seems to be getting more complicated to find someone who really gets you. As I have said before, love is not complicated, people are. When you’re single you have more time to focus on you and what you want.

You have time to make sure your cup is full. A relationship sometimes can hold you back. And if you have kids, your life is put even more on hold. The people I know that got married or had kids early, wished they could have waited. Now the things they want to do, they don’t have the time for.

Another reason is, the older you get, you have a low tolerance for bullshit and for people who simply want to waste your time. People who just want to be with you, for their own selfish reasons. Some people are not sure what they want. They just want someone who they can be with at their own convenience.

See them when they want. Call when they want to call. Be intimate when they want and if the other person disagrees, they’ll make you feel like it’s your fault for wanting something more and for wanting them to be consistent. Love can not be on your terms and how you want it. It involves compromising.

It involves the law of reciprocity. Why is it that we want what we want but we don’t want to give. What the fuck is this self entitlement for and we haven’t even earned it. Why it is that we want someone to be close to what we want and we ask of things of them, that we can not be ourselves.

I lost track of the men that complained about a woman not being a certain way, but they weren’t that way themselves. Of course this goes both ways with women complaining about men. So with that being said, more and more people are choosing to be single, rather than be in a relationship because they are simply just tired.

A relationship shouldn’t feel like a second job. People are tired of someone else making their life difficult. They are tired of doing everything. They are tired of giving and not receiving. They are tired of the games. They are tired of not being appreciated. They are tired of not being fully supported and so on.

Why do we make someone feel like they are in a relationship with us, then switch and say oh we’re just friends. That’s because in the friend zone, you don’t owe anybody anything. You can disappear when you want. You don’t have to respond to anything. You’re not obligated unless someone is your man or woman.

No one wants to be in a relationship with a magician. Not knowing when you will see and hear from someone. Who has time for that. Communicating shouldn’t be that difficult. No one is busy every single minute of the day and year.

I remember when I was 31, a guy that was interested in me, did not call me and did not take me out or come visit, (he lived about 30 minutes away) just because I wanted him to. I said something he didn’t like and he decided he was going to teach me a lesson and not give me what I wanted. He had an ego.

Thought he was doing me a favor by talking to me, calling or seeing me. He was a dick,. He told me I shouldn’t have mentioned how long it’s been, since we last talked and since we last seen each other. I simply thought we were going to just hang out and catch up, chill at the studio, since it’s been 9 years. My mind was somewhere else, I had no clue this man wanted more.

I didn’t even know this guy very long, we lived in the same building at one point and we spent a couple of hours around each other and that was it. He was trying to tell me that things I said he didn’t like it or telling me that I shouldn’t have said certain things in the first place.

Smells like CONTROL, don’t it?!

He also called me slick and sarcastic. I get this a lot from men. But ya know what, I don’t give a rats ass, LOL. Every time I have an opinion or I tell a guy I don’t like something. They want call me argumentive, knowing I hate arguing. They want to say what they want to say, and even be rude and an asshole, but it’s all good because they are a man.

I’m not going to be walking on eggshells and censoring myself, just because I never know what I say, might be taken the wrong way, because you want to try to control me. To get me to behave the way you want. I’m not a freaking pet. I don’t have time to be treating a man like a baby. How old are we?? More of a reason to be single.

This is the type of bullshit, no one has time for. Just because I don’t want to be equal to a man, in a lot of ways doesn’t mean I want a one-sided relationship either. Both sexes are getting fed up and they don’t even want to live with the opposite sex anymore. They dread going home. A place where there should be love, Peace and harmony

Some women claim men are to needy. They feel like they have a child on their hands, instead of a grown ass man. Or that their partner is extremely controlling and dominating. They feel like they can’t breathe or that they have to answer to a man. Men feel the same way about women to a degree. A relationship should not feel like prison. You should be free to be yourselves. With no conformity.

Two people should be bringing out the best in one another. I don’t understand why people make being with someone complicated. I always tell people the story of me and my first love. We just wanted to make each other happy and just love on each other. People used to tell us, we looked alike, we knew what they meant.

He led, I followed. He was able to be a man and I was able to be a woman and he treated me like the most precious thing in the world. He never raised his voice at me, or me with him. We never disrespected each other. He didn’t wait to see what I would do for him. He took the initiative.

We really enjoyed and loved making each other happy. There was no using each other. We never argued. When he would do something for me, the gleam in his eyes and his bright smile, just because he made me smile and I was happy, is all he cared about. That’s real love. We got excited off of the other persons excitement 🙂

I loved the feeling I got when I did something and to see him smile, Even over the phone when he would receive my cards. I could hear him smiling and grinning. His happiness was all I cared about. I just wanted to love him and he just wanted to love me, that’s it. We were just to mushy :).

Our lives took us in two different directions, and after we parted, he told me the way I loved him, was what he wanted in a wife, and thanked me for loving him the way that I did. That was a great compliment to me!!

Not doing and saying shit on purpose to piss me off…Not withholding love and affection. Not withholding communication and not seeing me. WTF!!!! Men are just different now….and they say the same about us.

The shit men say to me, I’m like really?!! Did you just go there? Are you really an asshole?. I just stay quiet. Men claim I have given them chances, with their shit talk. All I’m going to say is everyone has their strike limit. Don’t put yourself on the bench on purpose.

People can’t understand why I’m single….sometimes I can’t either, lol….but all I know is I have a lot of love in my heart and soul to give to the right man, maybe for the rest of our lives, if the guy freaking acts right, LOL. They just have to stop being so stupid and an asshole on purpose, lol.

Because the type of love I have, and the way I love. How I go above and beyond with my actions. I know that I’m a rare woman. I hear it all the time. I already know I’m too much, I’ve been told. Well God is creating a beautiful love story for me, with a man who will respect my mind and not try to censor me or change me.

Until then, like the rest of you folks, I’m going to remain single. I have peace this way. My life is not complicated with the needs and wants of another. I’m loving and working on myself more and more each day. I’m getting my life in order. And who knows, if someone comes along, as I’m getting my life in order and they can hang in their with me and love me, then I will know that man is a keeper.

What are your thoughts on being single until love comes and choosing not to be in a relationship?

Does Finding “The One” Get Complicated The Older You Get?

IMG_4401Love and finding the one for some strange reason gets complicated the older you get. I thinks that’s only because you had enough experience and you know what you want and what you don’t want. I always thought love was easy and it is, it’s people who make it complicated. Love is the one thing we all want but it seems like, it’s so far out of reach for most of us.

I received and email from a guy asking” Why do women ghost after the first date.?” This is not a woman thing. This is a people thing. Men do the same shit!, lol….This kind of thing happens to me all the time. Sometimes, there is no date and a man will ghost on me and then, I find out the reason why later. Even if we’re just hanging out and there’s no official “date”, I won’t ever see him again.

When people ask me why I don’t have someone special in my life, it’s because I keep going through the same thing, over and over again with a different guy and I’m not even dating them, lol…The last time I went out with a guy was a few years ago, never saw him again, he forgot he was married with children and had several different mothers to his kids….

In between that time, men have tried to take me out, but then they cancelled our date, because they tried to come over to my house.. So I stop talking to men for a while, then about two months ago I went out with someone. Everything was fine, haven’t seen him since..We’re still friends. It doesnt matter if my life is good at the moment or if I’m going through something. This happens to me all the time and to be perfectly honest, I think it’s about time I give up being open to the possibility of anything with anyone.

People keep their distance for whatever reason and there can be a multitude of reasons, why you’re not seeing the person you want to be with or feel you have a connection with. It’s simply not meant to be and timing is everything. Work on yourself why you wait for God to reveal the right woman and man for you. Sometimes people want more than you can give them and it doesn’t mean they are a bad person, it just means they are not the one for you.

IMG_4384As I have said numerous times. I’m single because I’m tired of inconsistent men. They want me to be, loyal, consistent but they are not. Long periods without talking, Then a text or email pops up days, weeks, months later even years later. They want me to prove to them who I am and what I can do for them. I’m tired of men looking for a lover/mother/wife/provider/maid/chef/. I’m tired of getting the backlash of some mans previous relationships, that when he comes across a good woman, whose not like the rest.

He decides, I’m going to wait and see, what she can do for me first. Men keep wanting me to be a blessing to them financially. WTF!!! When I share an experience about the things I did in my previous relationship or when a man ask me a question. When a man hears the things, I’ve done, they are like “wow, she’s different. I wonder if she’ll do the same for me? I want a woman with her own money so she can contribute to my life”.

Men tell me all these nice things but then their actions prove otherwise. If I’m all of these wonderful things that you like and want, why the inconsistent behaviour. Why do you want me to be the man? If you call me a Queen, why are you trying to treat me like I’m a peasant? As much as I am a passionate loving selfless woman. I really do not think love is in the stars for me at all…I am not trying to raise a grown man.

If you’re wanting love, know you deserve better than what you had in the past or in this present moment, don’t settle. Love?? I’m pretty sure it’s out there but it needs to be on a consistent basis. That will build trust. When a man or a woman is not consistent, it builds mistrust and you need trust in any relationship. Just because one does not have the title of being yours exclusively doesn’t mean, that it’s ok to have inconsistent behaviour because someone is not your man or woman yet.

Men go hard for what they really want and if a man is not going hard for you. You’re not what he wants. Somebody joked and said maybe I should have Steve Harvey find me a man..right… maybe…I’m sure he’ll do a thorough background check on the guy, because of the way he loves and treats his wife and daughters so I’m sure if I wrote in, he might find someone who’s loyal and consistent for me…. but then I would have to go on TV, not sure I’m willing to do that.

Surround Yourself With People Who Accept & Respect Who You Are

learning-to-accept-yourself-is-more-important-than-making-people-accept-you-its-how-you-see-yourself-that-really-matters-quote-1We all know that’s it’s important to be around positive energy. It really can make a difference in your life and your overall mood when you choose to be around people.

It’s important that the people in your life accept you for who you are and not try to change you. Change is only necessary when it’s detrimental to ones health and life. That’s the only time we should intervene. When we choose to love, we want the people in our lives to be better for themselves, so that they can live life and stop merely just existing.

We should accept the people in our lives for who they are and not try to change them for our own selfish purposes. We have a choice if we want to be around a certain kind of company. Or whether we want to accept or participate in the way people treat us. When you keep hearing the same thing over and over again you start to think. Should I change? Well that all depends on what it is.

il_340x270-658608434_oia2I started to think that something was wrong with me, because people kept talking about my personality. It seem to be the topic of the day. “How can we get her to change?”. My personality seemed to be clashing with other people’s personality. I kept hearing, I don’t talk, I’m to quiet, I don’t like to go out. People kept trying to change me because it made them feel uncomfortable. It shouldn’t have.

The answer is NO. I don’t have to change. I relocated to start my life over, not to go through metamorphosis, LOL. I wanted change in a different location and environment. I wanted to start over but not to change who I was. There is nothing wrong with me. Just because others are not like me or they don’t understand my reserved, quiet nature and the ability for me to keep my ass still, lol.. doesn’t mean I need to change to be what someone else wants me to be.

I’ve always been this way and I will continue to be this way. I want to be around people who accept me for who I am, not call me out on who I am and what they don’t like about me, because they want me to fit in their little circle. The way that I am it should be a breath of fresh air but it’s not, like a friend of mine told me….a break from the norm. I guess I’m just a rare woman and that’s perfectly fine with me.

f9deab81da4f3c95eb706dd25b7f2389A break in silence is peaceful to me, it’s a treat. I can be on if I want to. I can socialize, but ones professional, social and personal life should not be carried over into the home. That’s your sacred space. Home is for simply relaxing, it should be your dwelling place. The older I get I’m always learning more and more about myself. Always willing to evolve in a good way. In a quiet way.

There’s a time and a season for everything, even when it comes to your own life. When you are in your 30s and 40s and beyond. There comes a point in your life where you want to be still and settle down. Change.. your wiser, you want more. You know what you want in your life in a consistent basis. You know what you’ll tolerate and what you will not tolerate.

The people in your life need to understand and respect this. If they don’t then you simply have to remove yourself, if it’s not in alignment with your way of being. If it’s not your truth. Instead of people being uncomfortable about the way one is. The people in your life, they should be trying to learn something about the way you are. Maybe the way you are, they can take a piece of that and embrace it.

I can learn a lot from a friend of mine, when he chooses at times, to not communicate, yes we all want to be be acknowledge, but he explained to me that he enjoys talking to me and we have great conversation. Once we start talking it’s never just hi and bye, it’s minutes even hours…but one can not do that every day. He’ll never get anything done and neither will I, lol…. It’s not all the time you enjoy talking to someone but there needs to be a break.

Hearing that in that moment I just wish I could win the l lottery, lol (joking but not joking lol) but also create the life I want, to be financially free so I wouldn’t have to worry about working. But I can’t do that on the phone. I realize in the past I gave people to much of my time. I took on a lot of things that wasn’t mine to take on. People expected me to be there, because I was always there being selfless.

There’s nothing wrong with that but I had to start being selfish, especially when the time was not being reciprocated. Whenever we don’t like something, maybe it’s a sign that we need to change but in a good way. I know that when I’m around loud people, sometimes, my quiet nature forces them to be quiet and to tone it down. I get that a lot from children. When I’m quiet, they are. When I see loud active kids who don’t know how to take a chill pill, I look at the parents.

But there needs to be a balance in all areas of ones life. I always learn from others but never change who you are unless you want to change. Embrace it! Love it! Sometimes you just gotta not care but at least you will have peace of mind. It’s all about you being happy with yourself.