Tell-Tale Signs A Woman Can’t Cook

04155859_such_a_lousy_cook_can_t_even_boil_toast_funny_poster_xlargeEvery day when I check my email, men are asking me. Do women still cook? Or Why don’t women cook anymore? When I check the stats on my blog. One of my most viewed articles, that’s viewed every single day is Why Men Love Women Who Can Cook.

What this is telling me is that hungry men across the globe are looking for a woman, who knows how to throw down in the kitchen. Even if a man can cook, he wants to know that the his wife-to-be, is going to be able to feed him and his children. I don’t know why this is so hard to understand.

Men let me give you a little advice… you listening…

If cooking is important to you and you want to get married one day and have a family. Find out early when you start dating a woman, if she knows how or enjoys cooking. Just ask. Don’t be afraid to have this talk. I keep hearing from men, that they have a beautiful wife or significant other but she doesn’t know how to cook. You men keep being blinded by the booty, I mean beauty, LOL..

Find ways to bring up the topic of food. If it’s not important to you on the first couple of dates, and you’re not really feeling her, then don’t mention it. But if you find yourself really liking a woman and you missed the mark of asking her if she cooks. No need to fret.

There are all sorts of signs that the woman you are dating, does not like to cook:

If you’re a dating a woman and she likes to eat out all the time, or ask what restaurant you are going to. That’s a tell-tale sign she does not like to cook. If she never mentions inviting you over for dinner or going over to your house for dinner. That’s a tell-tale sign she does not like to cook. Offer to take a cooking class for a date. If her reaction is lackluster. You know she has no interest in being in the kitchen.

If she has a drawer full of take menus within a 5 mile radius and restaurants on speed-dial. Thats a tell-tale sign she does not like to cook. If you do get invited over to her house, mention that you are hungry or ask her what kind of dishes she likes to make. Based off her answer. Something like, I haven’t cooked in weeks. That’s a tell-tale sign she does not like to cook.

I know a few women that have confessed to not cooking in over 2 months and they have children. All I can think about is those poor children and her man. Every womans kitchen should look like it’s being used. I don’t care how clean a woman is. You can tell if the kitchen has been used. There should be signs of the gas range being cooked on and the oven being used. Even some grease escaping on the hood of the filter.

my-new-girl-told-me-she-was-independent-bro-u-know-that-means-she-dont-cook-b54feIf the woman you’re dating, if her kitchen looks like a model home’s kitchen. That’s a tell-tale sign she does not like to cook. If a woman makes up excuses for not knowing how or learning how to cook.

For example, I know a few women that have said, I’m independent and I’m focused on my career, making money and my education. I don’t need to know how to cook for a man. That’s the dumbest shit I ever heard. As if educated people or working class people don’t cook.

If you’re in a womans kitchen, pay attention to the dinner ware and silverware that she owns. If she only uses plastic cups and plates or it looks like her silverware is from the 99 cent store. Then that’s another tell-tale sign she does not like to cook.

Look around to see if there are any cooking gadgets and utensils, that would normally be on the counter. Don’t be afraid to peek in the cabinets either, lol. Go for it! This is your chance to see if this woman you’re interest in dating, if she is “wife and mother material”.

The same way a woman wants to know if you have a degree or a make good money and drive a nice car. And she’s looking at your attire and shoes. Don’t be afraid take a peek around her kitchen. Lol. Open the fridge too or offer to make something to eat or get something to drink for the both of you.

If she jumps up real quick and doesn’t want you peeking in her fridge, most likely that’s because there is no food in there. Any woman who enjoys cooking, won’t mind you being in her kitchen. Pay attention to the cookware too. People who enjoy cooking will not have scratched up cookware that looks out dated.

If you buy a woman a cookware set or plates and silverware and her reaction is not a good one. That’s another tell-tale sign that she does not like to cook. A woman who loves to cook, will be elated she has new cookware. I remember a guy I was dating bought me a red plate and bowl I was looking at. When he gave it to me, he couldn’t believe how happy I was, LOL.

Yeah he laughed at me. He said, it’s just a dish not a pair of shoes. Damn, I never seen a woman get so happy over a plate and bowl. Well it was the thought that counts. I have been looking at the two piece set for a while, but I was waiting for the price to drop. I thought of all the pictures I could take with my food. How pretty it would look :).

I’m telling you men to do all of the above, because I’ve done it to women I know. When I go over to a friend’s house, the kitchen is the first place I go to. I’m always scanning another womans kitchen. LOL because I like to cook and I love food. When I open the fridge, the first thing they say is, I haven’t went food shopping. I’m like oh ok, you said that 3 months ago….(birds chirping)

They even start making up excuses on why they have not cooked. There have been a few times where I had to bring my own pot and pan over to someone house, because I couldn’t use their cookware. Not to mention a real dinner plate, bowl, glass, fork, spoon, knife gadget, measuring cup. Yeah, lol…I don’t eat off of plastic or paper plates. If it’s not 18/10 stainless steel, I’m not eating with it and neither should you.

Men of course you should know how to cook for yourselves. Especially if you live alone Cooking is a life skill. You should be able to cook for your lady too. Plus it’s healthier and it will save you money. But if you plan on being old-school and you want your future wife to cook. Make sure you know all of the above :).

Why Some Women Don’t Want Another Woman, In Their House And Around Their Man

The reason some women, don’t want another woman in her house and around her man, is not because they have anything personal against you. Or they think that their man will want you and vice versa. Or that You’ll sleep with him. The real reason is that women don’t want another woman, showing them up in their own house. They want to run their house the way they want to run it. Even if it’s chaotic and disorganized.

Let me go in-depth here… don’t I always, LOL :)…..If you read my article about being domesticated  It’s no secret that I value home life. It’s just how my mother raised me and I’m not going to apologize for it. I already confessed, LOL :)…

Any whoooo, the reason why it is difficult for women to share space with another woman, is because she’s afraid that that other woman in her house, is going to do things that her man likes and wants on a regular basis. Let me give you an example, a friend of mine seen all this pictures of food, I posted and she kept saying when you come to visit, you have to show me how to do this and you have to cook this for me.

I said sure, I couldn’t have been anymore excited, it’s just the cancerian in me…we love to cook. As soon as I came to visit, I cooked and she raved about my food to her man. While I was visiting, she never let me cook in her kitchen in front her man. Every time I kept saying I was going to cook, she kept saying “Oh I’m going to make this for dinner. You can cook tomorrow”.

This went on for about a week. Still she would not let me cook in her kitchen. Even when her man asked about my food. So I stopped offering. That’s because the things I make are not of out a box. When I cook I get into it.. I put my foot in it, lol… She didn’t want her man to taste my food, because she knew that he would like it and that she would have to get her ass in that kitchen and learn how to make a real meal.

Instead of that crap in a box, that she puts in the microwave or reheat in the oven and calls that a home cooked meal… She claims the food I make is to time-consuming and she’s an expert at buying things at Costco’s and sams club. I offered to make ravioli and she said, I already have some, it’s in the freezer.

I said “what the hell?!!! In the freezer. I like fresh ravioli not frozen”. I was going to make it by hand. My mom made all her food from scratch, which stretched the food for days. This generation of women…I don’t know where they come from. So being that I’m domesticated and I do things that other women don’t. This is the reason why they don’t want me in their house cooking or cleaning.

lsfekOne of my friends, let her man taste my food and she told me that he wanted her to make the same thing and she told him “I’m busy, I don’t have the time”. Now suppose he said “I don’t have time to work, pay the rent and buy you things”.

Now mind you, this is a woman, who does not work, does not go to school, she stays home every day if she’s not out shopping and vacationing all year round.

My thing is since you don’t do anything why aren’t you in the kitchen learning how to make a decent meal for your man and your child?

Instead of shopping and watching TV all day. Why isn’t one of those channels, the cooking channel?  This is baffling to me. A woman who doesn’t do anything, but claims she is so busy. Yeah.. busy doing nothing. Peanut butter and jelly is not dinner which I’ve seen some women give their kids instead of cooking. Or a frozen egg and sausage on a croissant or biscuit. Really?!! You can’t scramble an egg and some fresh sausage. Damn!

Breakfast to me is important when you have a family because, it’s how you start the day before you go to work and send the kids off to school. They need a healthy meal so their brains can function. Dinner is also important because after a long day, it’s family time. Not gadget time or, tv time or social media time.

quote-all-men-want-to-be-treated-like-kings-in-a-relationship-and-i-think-if-women-don-t-indulge-that-giada-de-laurentiis-54939If you are a woman and you stay at home, the minute your husband enters that hallway or opens that door, he should smell something cooking.

He should smell it when he gets out the car, lol.  All men want to know that their woman appreciates them providing and how hard they work everyday. They want to be treated like a king and there is nothing wrong with that. And one of the ways you show him, your affection is by cooking for him. No matter if he knows how to cook already (he should) but that’s not the point.

When I walk into another woman’s home and it looks like an earthquake done hit it. It’s written all over my face, how disgusted I am. I immediately ask where is the vacuum, broom or mop and cleaning agents. Just by me asking that, they should be ashamed that another woman is cleaning their house but they’re not.

I’m looking at this mess, like you don’t see this? And how the hell did food get on the ceilings and walls throughout the whole house? This is ridiculous! Other women don’t really like me in their house, because I get to cleaning and try to find a nice way, without insulting them, that they should too. A little child once told me, “you’re just like my dad, you’re always cleaning”.

Her mother heard her and laughed. Not once have I seen this woman, pick up a vacuum or wash a dish or do laundry. She leaves it for her husband. He’s Mr. Mom every day. If he doesn’t clean, the house would be a mess. She should be lucky to have him, But yet she’s teaches her children how not to take care of the house too. They don’t see their mother clean, so they don’t.

Women (and men) bust mostly women are supposed to set the tone in their own home. A man shouldn’t have to see another woman cooking and wonder why his woman does not cook.

Maybe he thought she’d changed once they had kids. That pretty face and body won’t keep him for long, if you can’t be versatile in other areas that he needs you in.

A woman once told me, “you handle your food with such care. I just throw it on the plate and eat it”. I said to myself I know, I see. I eat with my eyes and I’m all about presentation.

Yes, I know I’m going to eat it soon, but it needs to be appealing to my eyes first and who ever else I decide to cook for.

I put a lot of love and care into my meals and it shows and when people taste my food, they pick up on the energy I put into it, which is LOVE. I honestly don’t get why some women are just flat-out lazy and neglect their home. Women tell me oh your house is clean, because you don’t have kids. So they are trying to find an excuse for their house being filthy.

If you have pre-teens to teenagers they should be helping with the chores. Better yet get them while they’re young. Kids love to help out when you make it fun and rewarding. You can start them early as two years old. Don’t wait until they are 16, to tell them to clean their room or how to cook. They won’t listen.

A woman should take pride in having a clean home and cooking for her family not oppose it. It shows a sign that you care and love where you live. That you care about the well-being of your kids and your husband. If he’s providing a safe haven. You should be doing your part as his wife and making your home comfortable, nurturing and serene.


gavel-300dpi-smallCan you hear the gavel slamming? To those of you, who have a family. If you feel like you are losing control, with having order in your home.

Then it’s time to go back to more traditional ways with parenting.

Old school discipline needs to make a comeback ASAP.  Your child(s) life depends on it. Children today are not learning the values that they once did from back in the day.

I see so many single mothers especially and even some two parent households struggle to have order in their home. This shouldn’t be. You are the parent, not your childs friend. Everything starts at home. The way you raise your child at home. This will show them how they conduct themselves in the real world.

Children today have too much. unfortunately a lot of single parents think that the way to have balance in their home, is to give the child everything they want. Even if the child behaves badly and brings home bad grades. They still get rewarded for it. They are still allowed to do and have what they want.

I saw a woman on a talk, trying to get help from Steve Harvey about her son by way of hypnosis, for not doing his homework. She looked petrified to discipline her 8-year-old son. Parents why are you afraid of your child?? A child you carried for 9 months. Is your child the devil named Damien, LOL. Your child should fear you in a way, to know not to mess with you and know you mean business.

That when you say do your homework and do your chores, there is no back talk. There is no negotiating. Stop giving in!!! This child got to play video games as soon as he got home. Parents have to stop negotiating with their kids. Instead of this woman just taking the game system away, she gave in and let him have it in his room.

This is what most parents do, refuse to instill discipline. Children know exactly how to play on their parents emotions to get what they want and to not do what they have to do. This is very damaging, this child and like many children not taking their education seriously. Now youre raising an illiterate child who doesn’t see the importance of learning. This is why some kids drop out because they don’t know how to read and write.

If their parents don’t care, why should they care. This kind of lackluster attitude is the reason why kids manipulate their parent(s). I’ve witness a father turn off the tv, and tell his kids not to watch TV and do their homework and pick up their clothes and the kids, turned it back on and the mother did too. Because she did not want to hear her daughters complain or cry.

By her doing this, this why the kids choose to go against their father’s word, because the woman of the house, does this on a daily basis. Not once have I ever heard the mother say “listen to your father” or agree with him. That’s because she does not respect him as the head of the house, so the children don’t either. Most single mothers are tired and when they get home, they just let their child(ren) do whatever they want.

Because they don’t want to be bothered. They want to have me time, so they keep their child occupied and busy with TV and gadgets. Not monitoring what they are watching or doing. As long as they are out of their hair. Even when it comes to food, they let them just pop stuff in the microwave. The average single mother is tired and doesn’t want to be bothered. Therefore there is no order in the house.

The kids are not picking up after themselves. I’ve seen kids come home, throw their clothes on the floor and immediately go do other things. Instead of doing their chores. They always tell their mom (and even their dad) it will be done later. Now they have the authority and if they get away with it. They continue to do it.

Most kids in a single parent home have a tendency to not listen to their mom, because their mom is softer and more lenient. I’ve seen kids call their father mean, just because he tried to establish some order and discipline in the house. Now little girls that will turn into young women and eventually an adult, will think that all good men are bad.

They will not let a man tell them what to do, because they don’t respect authority and leadership. Because they see their mother talk back and disrespect their father. I knew a woman who left her man, took the kids away from him, because he wanted her to be responsible and cook and clean and he has OCD. Pretty much he wanted her to be a mother.

Nows she’s with a woman, that’s untidy just like her, because she didn’t want to clean and listen to a man. She’s raising her kids to be the same way. What kind of dumb ish is that?? She dropped out of school now it looks like her son is headed the same way and she gave up and doesn’t care. You see the cycle here? Letting your child do whatever they want is not the best way to raise a productive adult for society.

Parents today really need to go back to the way, our great grandmothers and elders raised their children. Starting with home cooked meals. I’m really tired of seeing young kids eat crap every day, just because their mother refused to cook a home cooked meal. A child that’s 5 years old and up, should not know how to even use a microwave to prepare themselves dinner.

I’m sorry but this is bad parenting. When I was a toddler my mom had me in the kitchen. I’m 36 and I’ve been cooking ever since. Now I’m not saying you can’t go out to eat every once in a while. Because even people who cook get tired of cooking, but not 365 days out of the year, you eat out or you’ve become a microwave queen.

And everything you buy is already in a box. That’s not a home cooked meal for your family. The worst advice I ever got from a woman who had kids, was “set a side a budget to buy lean cuisine and to eat out, because women are not cooking anymore and people in CA do not want you in their kitchen”. And this was coming from a woman who was 56. She should know better and be ashamed.

No child should be allowed to avoid responsibility. Kids today get away with too much, this is why they don’t know how to cook and clean when they get out on their own. That’s because their mother didn’t teach them that having a clean home and cooking was important. Everyone should love a clean home. Your home is not a landfill.

Everything starts at home, the values and life skills you teach your children will take them further in life. They will be more disciplined in all areas of their life. Stop enabling them to keep them quiet. They need these life skills to be self-sufficient. One day they will have a family of their own and teach their children the same things they were taught.

Don’t raise a slob. No ones home should look like a bomb hit it and dishes are in the sink for days and the laundry is piled up like mountains. Stop being lazy and establish some order in your own home. Take back your power and stop letting a child rule you. Stop rewarding bad behavior. Only reward good behavior Show some tough love. They will thank you for it later.

When Leadership And Discipline Fail In The Home

28084e29d89598e7e65f37a573b6542aI was watching a clip of Iyanla Vanzant’s “Fix My Life” and one of the episodes in particular was about a dysfunctional family. The reason why this family was so dysfunctional, was because of the failed leadership of the man of the house.

Iyanla had to tell this man, that it’s his job to lead his family and also to respect the woman of the house too. That he had to instill some type of discipline and order in his house. And the reason why his wife wanted to leave him because of his failed leadership.

When a husband fails to lead, this causes a breakdown in the marriage. This breakdown can cause a spiral effect when it comes to parenting and the decision-making when it comes to money as well.

Even though it’s 2016,  a lot of women in relationships (marriages) have a problem with letting a man lead. They have a problem with, letting him be the disciplinarian and head of the house. Some men abuse this privilege that God gave them, but to the ones that don’t. They have a hard time having order in their home, when it comes to the woman and children in their life. This shouldn’t be so.

Lets look at it from this perspective. I’ll use the business analogy. In every business you need a CEO, A president or a COO. The CEO is responsible for making all the decisions, leading the company to financial success. The company depends on the CEOs leadership and to manage the company. Without it the business fails. Within this business there are employees, who are suppose to help the business run smoothly. Employees still have a say, that’s why they call meetings.

a48e68a1dcd0272537f51f70c53eb16dThe same goes for the home within a marriage. The woman of the house is not void without an opinion or a say. But there needs to be a leader and it can not be the woman when it comes to certain things. Women by nature are hard headed, lol. (You know its true, lol)

Call me sexist if you want I don’t care. Women need to understand their role as the woman of the house and they need to understand and respect the man of the house and the role he’s call forth to do by God. I see so many men struggle to have order and discipline in their home.

I hear the constant fighting by an unruly woman who refuses to be submissive and respect her significant other. The man will say something and the woman will rule against it. For example, the man wants the kids in bed by 8, but she says it’s ok for them to be in bed by 9. Whats wrong with 8 o’clock? The man says, no junk food or eating in the room. The wife says its ok, why can’t they eat in the room. The husband wants their clothes ready the night before. The wife says she’ll do it in the morning. You get the point.

What is this constant back and forth for? Where is the trust and order at? Why are things being put off? This is teaching your children not to trust their father. That they can go against his word. It’s not all the time you see a two parent household, but when you do, it needs to be clear who’s in charge. This system is not militant. A lot of women need to really respects a man role within a relationship and even in society and know that men are equipped to lead the way God intended.

When you look around and you see these tall buildings, bridges, cars, roads, houses, machines of all kinds. Men built that. Men never want to be equal to women. Women would never hear of it. But women are constantly trying  to be equal to men in all ways. I would never want to be equal to a man. Even women who hate men, try to act and dress like men. They like the masculinity and authority that comes with being a man. The respect that men get. The things that men “get away” with that women can’t.

There’s nothing sexy or graceful about a woman acting like a man. But some women want to be dominate and in control. You can be in control, save that for the bedroom, LOL :). A man needs a woman to be strong when he is vulnerable and a bit weary. He may need her to take over at times, to be his anchor but not to ultimately do what he does. I would never understand why some women, want masculine jobs, to prove what? Why do they want the stress and pressure of a strenuous job for?

Why would any woman want to be a police officer or a fireman. I just know these jobs are for men. I would never be chasing after a man, that is physically stronger than me or jumping in a burning building. I’m a woman, not a super hero, LOL. Why would I want to be in the line of duty to get hurt or killed. I should be home with my children tending to my home where it’s safe. Men sacrifice their lives for their family and even their country not women but they want to, why I don’t know.

These jobs bring out to much testosterone in women. It makes them hard and ungraceful. There just seems to be a breakdown, in what masculine and feminine roles are in our society. Men want to be men and women want to be men too. Something is truly off here. Women simply do not trust a man to lead or they don’t want them to. When there is a breakdown in leadership in the home, everything is chaotic and out of order.

Children respect their mom differently from the way they respect their father. Children know they can get away with things with their mom, that their father would say no to. So children think their father is mean when he enforces any type of discipline. You see it all the time, kids out of control when it comes to their mother, but when they are with their father, they are more disciplined. How they kind of fear their dad. If a woman feels her husband is being to hard on the kids, she will challenge him.

Yes, men can be a little to hard but its for a reason. They have innate instincts that God gave them to protect their family. The man of the house can not be a ‘yes man’, he mind as well be a woman, lol. He needs to be strong and a protector especially if he has daughters. I’ve seen women say yes to everything, when it comes to their child(ren). Women want to be liked and their child’s friend, instead of their mother first. A man is not trying to do that.  A real man knows his role and he needs the woman in his life to respect this and not challenge it.

Why Some Women Stop Catering To Their Husbands

85e46465c431fe52fcf678e833142912When two people decide they want to spend their life together. They take a vow to become husband and wife right?! So why do so many men complain, about how their wife has change after marriage? That they feel neglected, alone and not desired anymore.

This happens a lot especially after a child is born. The husband takes a back seat to the child (ren). This should not be,especially if the husband is the leader of the home.

A lot of women tend to forget that before they became a mother, that they were first a wife. Some women focus all of their attention on the child (ten) even when the child reaches a mature age and neglect to cater to their husband. I’m not talking about being a subservient slave or a doormat.

I already know it’s 2016 and women are working and have more of a say so, since they are bringing home a paycheck too. But this is not about that.

If you are a stay at home wife and mother and your husband provides, there should be no excuse, why your husband needs are being neglected. Whether it’s your support, a listening ear, your affection, for you to be quiet at times, a home cooked meal and even sex. Both sexes should cater to each other, but men mostly feel neglected a lot by their wives.

Being a mom is not an easy job, yes it’s hard work. Babies need A LOT of attention. Some women are not really prepared for the energy and patience it takes to raise a child. They just want one, to want one.

1606840241-7922834726e2bfbe604e445fb3396bc3But that doesn’t mean neglect your husband. A baby doesn’t need 24 hour around the clock care. At some point you are going to have to make time for yourself, your husband and your marriage. Marriage is not about just having a baby. There’s another person involved here. I know a few women that got married or simply hooked up with a guy, just to have a kid (s). Now that they are married or living together.

They wonder why the man in their life, is not attentive, affectionate or caters to them. Well you’re not catering to your husband either. If you married your husband just for a baby and you treat him like an ATM machine or a sperm donor. How do you expect to be catered to or have what you want in your marriage, especially if you are not being a submissive wife.

No only is this detrimental to your marriage, not catering to your husband, but you are making him more vulnerable to other women. I meet men like this all the time. They feel neglected lonely, they want someone to connect to, have a conversation and maybe even more. These are not bad men, they are just being neglected on so many levels and one of the greatest needs for any heterosexual man, is companionship from his wife. Children should not get all the attention.

It’s not odd for a man to feel jealous of the attention the kids receive, its not their fault. It’s the wife’s fault. I’ve seen women bend over backwards for their child’s request, but if their husband ask, they give him an attitude. That attitude needs to be checked at the door!! Your husband wants to know that you will be there for him too. That he is loved and appreciated especially for providing. If your husband ask you to do something. Don’t say no or give him lip.

They same energy and attention your children receive, you should give to him too, if he needs something. That is your husband. Men feel overlooked, they don’t feel appreciated, this can make then feel resentful and angry. A man once told me that when his son spent the night out, his wife was sad then when he returned, she was ecstatic about seeing him, she showed his so much affection. He said that when he went away on business that when he returned, she didn’t ask him anything. No affection, nothing. That she asked him when was he going away again.

That when he walked though the door, she looked at him, as if to say, why are you here? She wasn’t very happy to see him. I’ve witness this too, even hearing women say, when are you going back to work? Or can’t you work overtime or at night? Who says that to their husband?! Why are you married if that’s how you feel? I’ve witness on many occasions, people have beautiful homes but where is the love? They walk through the door, No one is catering to one another after a long day.

There’s no one greeting each other with any type of affection, no hug, no kiss or asking how ones day is, or how the other person is doing. No helping with taking off ones coat, shoes or taking bags from their hand. No home cooked meal, just whatever is in the freezer. They treat each other like roommates or strangers. There is arguing over money too. If you are cohabitating with someone or if you are married. Why is there arguments over money? Why isn’t there a joint account? If you enter a union to become husband and wife, you become one.

There is no independence and being separate on anything. You shouldn’t have to ask your husband for money or basic needs for you and your family, he’s suppose to be the provider. But when a woman (and even a man) marries the wrong person, for the wrong reasons. This is another reason why a wife doesn’t cater to her husband. When you fight with your mate, how can you be a loving spouse and give each other what you need and want. You can’t. You start to desire your husband less and less because you had a specific selfish goal in mine to get what you wanted.

We’ve all her the old adage, “happy wife, happy life”. Well what about a happy husband too?! Both parties should be happy and working together. Marriage is about two becoming one, not one persons needs over the others. Marriage is not a club you join for perks. If you’re not informed about why God made a woman for a man. And what a woman’s role is in a man’s life and what a mans role is in a woman’s life.

Why they are to become husband and wife, then I suggest you do some research. There’s nothing wrong with putting your husbands needs first, above anything in your life and there is nothing wrong with putting your wife first. Both spouses have to choose each other and submit to one another. But one leads and the other one follows and that delegation belongs to the man of the house.

***haters, your comments are not welcomed :). lol thanks for reading though ***


Why Every Woman Needs A healthy Relationship With Her Father

A father is a daughters first love. He’s suppose to show her what a man is suppose to be like, how he’s suppose to treat her and he’s suppose to protect her. Not do the opposite. The way a man treats a child’s mother, is the same way he will treat his daughter (s).

Fathers…..they are suppose to be the spiritual leaders of the home. A provider, a protector. But what happens when the fathers presences is absent from the home? Or if the father is present but absent and doesn’t have a healthy relationship with his daughter (s)?

This can be detrimental as a young woman grows up. This will disturb the natural balance, that a woman is suppose to have in her life as she searches for love and seeks guidance. Some women end up going down the wrong path, when they do not have their fathers guidance. But not all women that grow up without a father, end up going down the wrong road. I didn’ holy father has kept me.

Usually when a woman does not receive love from her father, she looks for it in the men that she encounters. Other women do the opposite they avoid men. They keep them at a distant, never letting them get to close.

father-daughter-quotes-7A lot of women do not see a man, as someone who can really love them. Or as their provider, their protector for so many reasons, so therefore they do not look for that in any man. I know I didn’t. My father was the perfect example, of what a man is not suppose to be.

People have been asking me lately “why am I single? Why don’t I have my own family and I’m 36. Don’t you want to settle down?”. There are a lot of reasons why I’m single but I will not list them all.

It’s not that I don’t want love in my life or to have a family. It’s the men that come my way. The men I encounter say one thing and do another. They abandon me when I need them the most. Just like my father. I don’t look for these men, nor do I date them. I know that there are good men out there somewhere, but sometimes you just don’t make a love connection and that’s ok. People want different things in life. I know on a deeper level that everything that I saw growing up, had a profound effect on me as a woman, because me and my dad did not have a healthy relationship.

Had me and my father had a healthy relationship. It would have saved me a lot of heartache in the past. I wouldn’t have been the man in the relationship. I’m very nurturing as a woman. Men gravitate towards me and they act like I’m their mother. So I keep my distance on a certain level with men.

Their actions never meet up. Men have told me that they will take care of me, but at what expense?? My body? I don’ think so….When a man doesn’t do what he says, I’m really not surprised. Broken promises and just saying things in the moment, sounds good but it never actually happens. Just like my father.

According to Iyanla Vanzant, “All women at some point, marry, date or run into men, that are like their father. Even if we don’t want to. I do my best to avoid men like my father.

Only through my relationship with God and my faith I know how a man is suppose to be. The way God provides, protects and professes his love for me. That’s the way a man is suppose to be on a human level. Men are no longer leading or providing and if they do, they abuse that leadership. I’ve met men that they are tired of doing everything. Not that they are bad guys but they are providing for the wrong woman. So when they finally do meet a good woman, they want a break.

If all women had a healthy relationship with their father or some type of father figure, they would know the type of man they want in their life. They would be married, they would have kids. They would respect the men in their life. They would know that a man is suppose to provide. They wouldn’t act like they don’t need a man. Thats how they were born, because of the man. Women do not produce sperm, lol. Men do.

Never believe a woman who says she doesn’t need a man. Some women try to become the man, their father wasn’t. By tapping to much into masculine energy. Some women even morph into men. We’ve all seen it.

IMG_4490A woman wouldn’t try to use a man or see him as a financial plan. They wouldn’t just be with a man for sex either or the things he can buy her. They wouldn’t be materialistic or so independent. If they had a healthy relationship with their father. But when the mother acts like her child’s father ain’t shit. Guess what, so will the children.

If she disrespects him, so will they. I’ve seen it happen so many times, because the mother always ends up with the child, if their is a break up or divorce. And when that male presences is removed from a daughters life, She no longer respects men or trust them.

A lot of men have a hard time bonding with their daughters, because of the relationship with their mother. If there is money involved, she only looks to her father to buy her things or give her money but there is no real bond or love. Because if the mother hates him and he’s not around, then there must be a reason why, right? Wrong….. Some men want to be in their daughters life, but the mother will not allow it. Mothers teach their daughters that men are not needed.

To be independent. To not trust men. That men don’t provide. To only seek what’s in his wallet. A provider for a lot of women, means MONEY ONLY!. That’s not a healthy relationship for a woman to have with her father. Our society looks down on the male presence in the home. It’s rare now a days to see a two parent household. Even if you see them, in some households there is no real bond. No respect. I know couples who are just together because of the kids, money and a place to stay. That’s sad.

Where is the love? Where is God? God is not at the forefront, so therefore there is no real structure. Every thing that I seen or was indirectly taught. I had to unlearn. A lot of women have to unlearn what they have been taught too or else, you will have a lot single women, being with the wrong man, having children with the wrong man, if she does not have a healthy relationship with God and her father. When men decide to step up and be a real man, then women would trust the men in their life more. They will trust them to love them, to not abandon them, to provide, to lead which is what God intended man to do.

It’s Never To Early To Instill Good Habits And Responsibility With Your Child

When you look at this picture, what are your thoughts? Do you think these children are to young, to learn how to clean?  (Before I continue, I just thought this was so cute, lol :). It reminded me of when I was a baby cleaning, except mines was a toy vacuum. Who didn’t have a toy vacuum, lol.) Everyone may have their own POV. But here is mine, I don’t think there is anything wrong with this picture at all. Here’s why, because It’s never to early, to instill good habits and responsibility with your child while they are young. A toy vacuum could be a great toy for a young child, to have to instill healthy cleaning habits.

Back in the day, if you are a 60s, 70s, 80, or 90s child, it seems like parents (even the single parent house) had more control over their household. Parents back then did not play around when it came to responsibility? What happened?! Parents back in the day, weren’t trying to be their child’s friend. They knew their role and they owned up to it. There was no negotiating and telling your parent(s) “I’ll do it later”. Later? Hell you mean later?!…..Later would get you an ass wooping, lol. Now, I don’t condone beating your child, but there was no negotiating. If you argued or got an attitude you were disciplined. Kids back then did as they were told.

When you woke up, you had to make your bed, you got ready for the school day. After school when you got home, the first things you had to do was, take off your shoes, change your clothes, put them away, wash your hands, since you just came from outside, do your homework, and maybe you were allowed to have a little snack before dinner. Families back then ate together.

You had to do all these things before you went outside to play. There was no watching tv or playing video games. You also had chores to do if need be. Now a days not so much so, it seems like the child is running the house and the single parents are simply, letting their child get away with not be a responsible child.

Parents are afraid to instill some type of responsibility when it comes to their child. They don’t want to be looked at as the “bad guy”. They want brownie points with their child. They feel it would make them love them more and keep peace in the house. I’ve witness this with all my friends that are single mothers, they are constantly trying to get their kid(s) to clean or do their homework. The crazy thing about it is, they are old enough to clean in the age range of 10 to 17. At that age, your room should not not look like a bomb exploded.

kids-messy-roomKids today just have to much, they do. If a parent doesn’t feel like arguing with their child to clean their room or do their homework or any chores, they send them to their room and they have all the gadgets in the world. Kids look forward to being grounded. Anything they can do to avoid responsibility. I’m not saying this is the case for every household, but the people I know, this is so much the case on a daily basis.

I’ve witness the most atrocious living situations and it literally gave me an anxiety attack and sent me to the hospital. One things for sure is that these single mothers, never learn the importance of keeping house. They themselves do not clean and therefore their children do not clean. Their parents didn’t clean either, so it was never instilled in them this type of responsibility. So it’s a cycle.

The earlier you start your child off they better. Waiting later on in life to instill responsibility, you may not have any success. Kids will rebel. Kids need to be taught this by the time they are young. One thing I learned from having a niece and nephew and working with kids, is that kids like to help out, more than you think they do. They really do. If you do something with a smile on your face and laugh, a child will want to do it too. They want to feel the same kind of joy. They think its fun and kids are all about having fun and learning.

Their minds are discovering new things as they observe the world around them. Kids are really like sponges, they soak up everything you do and say. Why not throw some responsibility in their while they are young. I remember when my little angels asked me if they could help me clean my apartment, the next time they visited me, LOL and people looked at them in dismay and like they were crazy. They laughed and wondered. What child likes to clean? They thought I had them up under some type of spell. LOL.

Kids like to be independent. They’ll yell out “let me do it” “I can do it”. Ever notice that your child likes to feed themselves when they get to a certain age, they like to put on their own clothes, brush their teeth, if they see you doing something out of habit, they want to do it too. It makes them feel like a grown up. If you have more than one child, once a newborn enters the pictures, they like to help out too, by feeding or holding the baby. They want to be the big brother or sister and with that comes trust and responsibility.

They saw me cleaning and wanted to help. I made it fun for them, we put on some music and they vacuumed. They helped me fold the laundry and made the bed, swept and mopped. My nephew even cleaned the toilet, lol. Kids like being in a clean environment, it makes them feel loved and cared for. It really brings them joy. Teaching your child responsibility is not teaching them to be a maid or slave, it’s instilling important values in them, that they will later on need in their life, especially when they live on their own and start a family. Responsibility starts at home.

I get that single mothers are tired but neglecting your home and not teaching your child responsibility is not an excuse to keep a messy house. I’ve heard plenty of my friends say “I work, I shouldn’t have to clean” (I heard that scooby-doo voice in my head, lol) repeat that again please?!…then who the hell is going to clean?? The child is not doing it. Some parents can’t get their kids to clean for anything and they give up hope. To some it’s simply not important and that’s very sad.

Since women are working and may even be the sole breadwinner. Some dads are staying home to raise their child instead of day care. Men are stepping up to the plate and being more domesticated. (which is quite sexy :), lol). One of my favorite entertainers on youtube LaGuardia Cross, shows just how much fun fatherhood could be, as he takes us a long his crazy fun adventures with his beautiful daughter Amalah. You gotta see these videos, they are just the cutest :). I love these two so much! The key is to make cleaning fun, to bond with your child. Don’t let your child see it as a form punishment. They shouldn’t dread cleaning. Now you may ask how? Well, besides kids wanting to help just because they want to, Kids like being like adults. Little girls want to be like their mom and little boys want to be like their dad.

While your child is young, and while you are potty training them, you can teach them other things as well. I’m not saying give a one year old a mop and bleach. I’m just saying these things are really teachable at a young age. You can teach the importance of cleaning by teaching them to put away their toys, they do this at school too. Teachers teach kids the importance of cleaning before snack time and nap time. If a child wants to do something like go to the park and you are pressed for time

You can say something like “well mommy has to clean, would you like to be a big girl or big boy and help mommy out”? Throw in a reward after, when I cleaned and helped out, my mom would give me money and I saved it. I loved earning my own money. This instilled in me that I had to work and earn my own money and that no one was going to hand me anything in life. Another important value that kids need to learn, especially the value of a dollar.

There are ways to get your child(ren) to clean. It really is not that difficult. If you are having a problem in this area then, it may be best, to seek help from your parents if they are around or find a support group with other mothers and share stories. The key is to not get overwhelmed.

Children can also help out in the kitchen too. Not only is this a great life skill, it will teach them how to be healthy on their own and when they start a family. It will teach them how to be frugal too. I started grocery shop My mom instilled this in me, I don’t eat out. I cook, my mom had me in the kitchen when I was a baby. It will also give kids something productive to do, instead of watching tv and playing videos games.

I love shows like “Chopped Junior” those kids remind me of myself when I was home with my mom and when I had home economics as a child in middle school. A course that seriously needs to make a comeback in our schools. Because some kids are just not learning these life skills at home. Being domesticated and traditional is not a bad thing, it should be embraced more. Just because times have changed and its 2016, doesn’t mean we need to stop being traditional in our homes and the way we raise our kids.

The earlier you start the better. Kids don’t stay little forever, they do grow up into full blown adults, lol. I can not tell you the many times, that I have heard men refusing to date a woman, because of how a woman keeps her house and women not dating a man because he doesn’t clean either. No one wants to live with a slob. I refuse to live with someone, that has no basic home training. There are people that can live with me, because I’m clean but I can’t live with them.

Parents just remember, you are the parent, it starts with you. Don’t be afraid to instill responsibility in your child at a young age. This is vital and they need this. Know that you are raising a productive child, that will later be an adult. They will go out into the real world and this type of discipline and responsibility will prepare them for the real world, and in all areas of their life. Teach your child while they are young, teach them that this is important and they will continue the cycle for generations to come.