Bathroom Etiquette 101: Put The Toilet Lid Down And Here’s Why

Ever walk in to a public or private restroom and immediately you walk out or hold your breath? Of course you have…..Well what a lot of people fail to realize is that, all those people that are using the bathroom. Everything that they are doing, is going into the air and guess what, you are breathing it in.

Yuck right! I know it makes you want to puke, but it’s the truth. I know when I step into a public restroom and stall, I spray before I enter, because I keep air freshener in my bag. Most people should in my opinion. When people come in after me, they have a pleasant smell. 😉it’s alway nice to think of others even when using a public domain.

I know you’re reading this and probably wondering, why is she talking about the toilet seat for? …we’ll continue reading…

Unless you have an air purifier or air sanitizer, in your home. Let me give you some pointers in Bathroom etiquette 101. I am very big on personal hygiene, I care my lungs and others, especially when it comes to several people using the toilet. A lot of people when they use the bathroom. They flush after they are done.

Nope… you are doing it all wrong. As you are doing whatever you are doing, while you are still on the commode, you should be flushing several times while your butt is on the seat, lol. When you wait to flush, you give time to whatever you did in there, to escape and come up into the air.

If you wait until after you are done, and you don’t feel like flushing, then close the lid then flush. I know some people who don’t buy air freshener, so that means that if you go in after them, that stench is in there and you can probably tell what they had for breakfast, lunch and dinner. If people in your house don’t put the lid down, put a sign up.

If your bathroom doesn’t have a window for the smell to escape, guess what, it’s going to stay in there and you will breathe it in. It’s going to be in the air, in your towels, in your toothbrush, or anything else that you have open and exposed in the bathroom.

Some people keep their towels above the toilet. That is a huge NO-NO. Do not hang your towels above the toilet to dry or even put your facial tissues on the toilet tray. When you go to clean your toilet, there will be stains of some sort, but you can eliminate that by closing the toilet lid and cleaning the toilet and bathroom, daily, before and after you use it.

As humans, and I’m not trying to be funny. Our bodies may splish splash. It’s normal. We’ve all seen a drop or two on the seat after we or somebody else does a number one. Most of us don’t think of that when we get up. Thats why it’s always good to check behind youself after you’re done, and before  you sit down. Even on your own toilet.

Public seats of course you squat. I’ll reiterate again. The bathroom should be cleaned daily. Every one should be wiping down their toilet daily, not waiting until the end of the week on bathroom day. Bathrooms need constant cleaning since we use it every day. Faucets and knobs too. Put your toothbrush in a concealed toothbrush holder or cabinet and away from the toilet too.

I can not tell you the many times, I’ve seen people who have their toothbrush holder above the toilet, exposed and the toilet lid is up. If you leave your toilet lid up out of habit. Think about the air you are breathing in, and from what someone else is doing. Think about airborne pathogens. Buy a self-closing toilet lid. Put an air purifier above or near the toilet.

Use natural oils to keep your bathroom smelling fresh and clean. I buy orange oil spray, it’s a natural odor eliminator and air freshener. You can get it from walmart and home depot. Stores sell these products for us to keep our homes, nice and clean and smelling fresh. Do yourself a favor and use them 😉.

One more tip….tissue alone will not clean everything, lol. Do yourself a favor and buy a bidet or wipes. Doesn’t matter if they are baby wipes or Scotts. Just make sure you clean your private areas, lol. Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed!

I’m Glad My Ex Was An Asshole…..LOL


Yeah I know…sounds weird and I know you might be saying,”why are you glad your ex was an asshole”?. Well…. continue to read and you’ll find out :).

In life, even when messed up shit happens, you have to have gratitude and say thank you to God. Thank you to the universe, because you know why, whatever you went through was necessary for your own growth. Necessary for you to see what you really deserve and for you to have standards and love yourself more. Necessary to bring you closer to the one, who truly deserves your heart and the person who can love you the way you desire.

Here I am at Walmart buying avocados and out of all days, I see my ex with the woman that he cheated on me with and their kids. Now, to be honest, seeing the two of them, made my stomach turn, lol. I’m so glad they didn’t see me. When I saw him, I just thought to myself, all the sacrifices I made for this person, all the money I spent and this is what he did and what I get. I was deprived of love, time, affection and so on. No wonder he didn’t want kids with me, because he already had them.

This man could depend on me in ways, I never could depend on him and I should have been able to, but now I know why. I didn’t realize I was giving and doing so much because, it was just things that I normally did. Nor did he stop me or appreciate it. I was that woman, that stood by him, when he had nothing and was his “ride or die”. The type of woman, most men are looking for and want in their lives. I sacrificed so much, did so much, loved so hard and still it wasn’t enough. I still got played. This dude really had me “living in disney land” Like Allen McNeil sings in “I Don’t Need Nobody”.  A man or a woman can give so much and still it’s never enough, some people are just selfish and just want what they want.

Thankful for peace of mind

The thought slowly dissipated and in that moment, I felt like someone sprinkled fairy dust on me, lol. My stomach no longer turned. (Side note- my stomach only turns when I can’t stand something or someone, lol) A smile quickly appeared on my face when I reached the register and said good morning to the cashier. I instantly just felt so happy because, that was no longer my headache and heartache anymore. I was thankful for peace of mind. That relationship should have been over a long time ago, but it’s a lesson learned. The cashier said “you must be in a good mood and I said “yes, as a matter of fact I am”. She even smiled when she looked so angry before I reached her. I just thought she wasn’t a morning person, lol.

Smiling is contagious.


I’m so grateful that everything that wasn’t working for me, at that time, God took it away from me. Because I clearly did not get the point or lesson. It took a job loss for me to see what was going on, and for me to stop being so busy and to focus on myself instead of others. It made me also realized, that I need someone who loves and gives not just takes. I was so used to being there for everyone, that no one was there for me. Even when I met other men after him. When it didn’t work out and something seemed off and my intuition kicked into high gear. I just saw it as, REJECTION IS GOD’S PROTECTION.

Theres a reason why nothing worked out with anyone else. I will never understand why some people, disrespect the institution of marriage and feel the need to live a double life. If you’re unhappy in your relationship or marriage, don’t play with someone else’s heart. It’s simply not fair. All I know is that love or the possibility of love, is not elusive for me anymore.  God has not forgot about me. I made a new friend who slowly helped me peel the layers off my wounded heart.

I’m glad my ex was an asshole, LOL…. because all he did was clear and make room for the right man who will truly love me and appreciate me and everything I have to offer and I really can’t be mad at that!!! 🙂 I know I’m a good woman and deserve love. I’m not going to let my heart be harden over one asshole, (or a couple of them) LOL…shit happens!! His lost, he let a truly good woman get away :). All I know is I’m excited to move on with the next chapter in my life. It truly is time for a “brand new start” :).

If someone did you wrong, even though it may seem crazy, just find a way to be grateful and move on. God truly does have someone for everyone. It sucks that you have to go through a bunch of rotten apples, lol just to find a good one. I feel the same way about my avocados, LOL.(oh that’s not the same thing?) But you know what I mean, anyway, LOL. the right person is out there for you. You only have one life and you deserved to be loved and to be happy :). God guarantees it!! Not me, lol 🙂

Thanks for reading!!!!

Men Hold Onto Your Wallets Please!!

urlYup, I said it! Lol and I’ll say it again MEN HOLD ONTO YOUR WALLETS!!

I know a lot of women are not going to agree with post. I can see you now, as you read my words and turn your nose up at me. lol. But, ya know what? I really don’t care, LOL. It’s how I feel and it’s how a lot of men feel, and who better to express this notion than the one and only, …..ME :), LOL.

Thank you…thank you..hold your applause, lol 🙂

If you don’t like what I’m about to say, then stop reading right now. Don’t even waste your time. But if you want to learn something, get a new perspective then set aside your ego and continue reading. The choice is yours.

The responses I get sometimes, some women think I’m anti-female. How?? This is funny to me. I’m a woman, an opinionated in-depth woman. I just don’t agree with the way some women think and the things that they do. And contrary to belief, other women feel the same way. I believe a lot women are picky and get in their own way of having true love in their life by being so materialistic.

I’ve done my research, well more like, I listen to men and really hear them and a lot men are tired of spending money on women and they feel women just don’t appreciated it. They feel women feel it’s expected. Their worth of them being a man, is measured by how much they spend and this just isn’t fair. This goes for men who date and men that are already in relationships too.

Men don’t mind spending money on a woman, they just want to control how much they spend. I don’t think a man should spend a lot of money on a woman, he just met. This should be held for someone special.

Is there a relationship money meter that measures, this is how much you love/like me?

Some women feel, the more expensive the gift, the more he loves me and I have him wrapped around my finger. Now this article is not geared towards the whole female species, just the ones who are like this, lol. Here is my stance on why I feel men should hold onto their wallets, when dating a woman they just met. Men 9 times out 10 will go out of their way to impress a woman.

They figure , “wow, she’s going out on a date with me, she must like me, I gotta impress her.” There’s no rejection. This makes a man feel good, like maybe she can be the one. Or so he’s really, really hoping. They start thinking about the perfect place, and then if the date was a good one, they want to up their game on the next one. With this comes a hefty price, which usually leads to know where, depending on the woman.

A man who doesn’t spend money on you in the first few weeks is not a cheap man. He’s a smart man. A woman should respect a man who doesn’t spend, a lot of money on every woman he dates. If a man is just buying you gifts without, getting to fully know you first, and he doesn’t love you, be leery of this type of man, because it is clear that he is trying to buy your affection.

A man that doesn’t spend money on you right away, is showing you that he wants to take his time. He still learning more about you and what you like. It should show you that if he waits that you are special, not that he doesn’t think you’re worth it. (Kind of like when women hold off sex for a long time) But you have to earn and prove this. You can’t expect that just because a man finds you attractive, that’s grounds for him to be frivolous with his money.

What did you do, to deserve him spending his money on you and y’all just met? Why isn’t a cup of coffee or a muffin at Dunkin donuts good enough? I don’t know about other women, but I would feel uncomfortable receiving a gift from a man, I do not love or care about.  That’s like having sex without love. It’s meaningless. I won’t even break bread with a guy I don’t like or find interesting in some way.

I like to see if the guy is about something first, before I agree to let him take me out and before I get all dressed up. I simply do not want to waste my time. Hell, I’ll eat before I meet him, lol…. or pack a trail mix in my bag and some water, lol…..just incase he’s an asshole and I can bounce, LOL. There’s is nothing more awkward then sitting down, to eat with someone who’s just the epitome of an asshole, LOL.

Most women should see if the guy is about something first. Before they get all attractive for some guy they barely know. I heard Steve Harvey tell his daughters and women in general, “stop going out to dinner with these dudes that ain’t about anything.” just for a free meal and I have to agree with him. This is just so you won’t waste your time.

When it comes to gifts

When you receive a gift from someone you love, it should mean something. It means you’re special. It shows that the guy buying the gift or treating you, thought about you. Some women, and you know its true, hold their self worth with gifts and free meals. They use this kind gesture against men, to see how the man truly feels. They feel the more expensive the gift or the bigger it is, than this guy must be really feeling me and he wants what a lot of men want eventually which is sex.

If a man is a gentleman, if he’s consistent, if he shows up on time, compliments you and  makes you laugh and he puts thought into the date and into being with you, that’s sexy! Even spontaneous outings. That’s more of a turn on, than how much he’s spending on you. A man like this,… just might have a chance at getting the cookie, LOL. In less than 3 months, LOL…But that’s totally up to you. No judgement! Just be safe!

Women we are worth so much more, than an expensive gift or an expensive meal. Instead of worrying about how much something cost from a guy you barely know. Worry about if you are in great company and just have a good time. A man shouldn’t have to prove himself to you on the first date, and nor should you put all of your eggs in one basket. He could be an ax murderer, LOL… ok that sounded funny in my head LOL, but you catch my drift. I’m not saying deal with a cheap guy. I am saying stop expecting shit, LOL.

The only thing you deserve is for a man to be a gentlemen, respect you, treat you like a lady and that’s whether he’s spending, $10.00 or $100.00. (I’m still not over my friend and his $300 restaurant bill, that’s going to take me a minute, LOL). I know a few women that have wanted to try a new restaurant, but refuse to because they were waiting on a man to take them. Really!!! ( Insert confused emoji face). You don’t want to spend your own money and you’re waiting on some guy..any guy that likes you to take you out. Now that’s a damn shame but this is what some women do.

In conclusion a man doesn’t owe you a free pass to his wallet, because you’re a woman. And men really do have a right to hold onto their wallets, if they choose to. It doesn’t make him a bad guy. It makes him a smart guy, because this shows, that he’s not going to just throw his money away on just any woman. And that my dear should be a good thing! 🙂

Food Is An Intimate Thing

IMG_4587Food …..we all love to eat right? That first bite up until the last…is a very indulging moment for us. I don’t know about you, but food is a very intimate thing for me. It turns me on, all those savory flavors…It’s enough to put you in a sensual mood….I’m amazed at my skills when I make something and all the flavors marry together so well. Food is an art, its all about creation.

As a child, I thought my mom was a magician in the kitchen, the way she would make things from scratch, with whatever we had and make it taste so good. Aren’t moms the best!!… Well at least the ones that enjoy cooking because some don’t. I can’t wait to cook for my future love, as I miss cooking for someone. Watching him take that first bite is going to bring me so much Joy. I’m excited just thinking about it :)….Cooking shouldn’t feel like, you’re going to the electric chair, LOL. It shouldn’t be met with disdain. It’s meant to be enjoyed. It’s meant to nourish your mind, body and soul.

Food is a such an intimate thing. Food taste even better when you make it with love. I seriously think society needs to fall back in love and enjoy being in the kitchen again and eating at the table…Home economics needs to make a comeback as well. I enjoy watching people take their first bite of my food. The look in their eyes, priceless!!! I never knew my food was that good, until I saw people fighting over, who was going to eat the last empanadas I made and my lasagna.  I didn’t know it was that deep or serious that you wanna slap someone over it, LOL.

As some of you know from my previous article. I’m not the type to pay for a meal, I’m to frugal… some of us do but to each is own. When I’m hungry, my first thing to do is see what I have in the fridge, then go to the grocery store. Everything we want to eat, believe it or not, is at the market. There really is no need for us to pay for a meal, when we can make the same thing, if not better at home.

A friend of mine said he wanted to take me out to breakfast….I said to him, “you better make me breakfast,” lol or a smoothie. I was curious to know, what my friend is going to buy at breakfast, that we can’t go to the grocery store and make or that you don’t already have in your refrigerator. When he mentioned the things he eats, I don’t even eat that. I would be watching him eat lol, which is what usually happens when someone takes me out.

I never knew people bought breakfast….I remember when I first saw breakfast being offered in restaurants and fast food places…I was shocked especially at the prices. I thought everybody made breakfast at home, because that’s how I was raised. I said to myself, people actually pay for bacon and eggs?? Are these bacon and eggs that special that they cost this much?? What’s in it?? Judge me if you want, but I really thought that, that was just lazy, I just did. To get dressed, drive somewhere and waste gas for breakfast.

I’m a homebody, it’s hard for me to leave the house. 5 years ago, a friend of mine tricked me into eating out with her. I took my breakfast home. She thought I was crazy and called me weird, because I don’t like to eat out, let alone be around a whole bunch of strangers. How can I enjoy my meal around a whole bunch of strangers, when food to me is an intimate thing. It should be shared with someone that you actually want to break bread with. I didn’t want to eat with her, because she talks to much and I can never enjoy my food.

I remember when I was 17, after church a family friend took me to Ihop. Then at 32 (Yeah big time frame and age gap,) she did the same thing, except this time she picked it up to go. I woke up to store bought pancakes. SMDH!  They didn’t even taste that good, I can tell when something taste frozen and not fresh. Standing there, waiting to be seated, made me really frustrated. I couldn’t believe that we were waiting for pancakes, the look on my face, ( if only those straight face, confused emojis, were invented back then.) And not only that the place was packed.

All that time we waited, I could have made us both a meal. I wasn’t even hungry by the time the food came. I just wanted to go home. I just thought to myself, thank you mom for teaching me how to cook. I said to myself wow, this woman has not one domestic bone in her body. This woman does not cook, she’ll burn water. Her poor children. When I was in LA, I got spoiled going to my favorite store “fresh and easy”, that they recently shut down. When I saw I could buy avocados, a 4-pack for $2.50. I was like I gotta move here, LOL ..oh and the beaches, LOL A 4- pack of avocados on the east coast, is damn near almost $6.

That to me is ridiculous! I was spoiled for those 18 days I spent there knowing, I could have fresh food whenever I wanted it. My eyes lit up when my cousin told me, they had a farmers markets twice a week. She laughed at me. I spent $20 bucks one time and got a lot of stuff. I silently told myself. “LA, I’m relocating”..going to the market, I get all excited, it gives me a rush, like a kid in a candy store, just like some women get a rush to buy shoes, (sorry not my thing).

Gathering in the kitchen to cook and eat with love ones, listening to music and engaging in conversation, is what love and family should be all about. You just can’t have those precious moments at a restaurant or a fast food joint. I’m not saying one has to cook every day because I don’t (thats what food prep for the week is for) but when I do, I enjoy every minute of it it!! And you should too. If you are blessed to have loved ones in your life, open the fridge, put on some music and express your love through food and make sure its healthy..but it’s ok to indulge every now and then 🙂 Food should always be treated as an intimate thing.



Lets Talk About Personal Hygiene

I hope you find the humor in this post and hopefully you can relate. If you can’t then you need to get your ass down to the store and do some shopping, lol…because there is no need for someone to have a funky ass when they sell small toiletries everywhere….I felt the need to vent about this topic because, I see a lot of women judge me and think I’m uppity, because I care about cleaning my backside, lol. This has been going on for years. I personally don’t see whats the problem, because I think all females should be this way.

I’m a woman, who very OCD when it comes to personal hygiene. Whenever I’m out, whether its work, a friends house, anywhere where there is a public restroom and not my own. I carry a mini version of my bathroom with me. Let me explain, because it seems like some females, don’t even shop in the feminine hygiene section of any store, let alone household cleaning products.

I ALWAYS have air freshener on me, sanitary wipes, toilet paper, toilet seat covers, lotion, my own soap, lysol and disposable gloves, hand sanitizer, deodorant, detergent, fragrant body spritzer…you name it, I got it…even a toothbrush, toothpaste dental floss, bandaids, napkins, nail file, nail clipper, tweezers breath mints, pepper spray, extra panties,.. Yes, LOL…..LOL… all of this stuff is sold at the store. it may sound like a lot but it isn’t because it portable. I don’t play when it comes to personal hygiene. I like my private parts to be clean, regardless of what I do in the bathroom stall.

Whenever anyone walks into the bathroom after me, it always smells good. Even when they first walk in, because I always spray first then enter. I’ve heard so many times, it smells so good in here, after someone walks in after me. When I used to work at 7WTC, people knew I was in the building because they can smell my air freshener or my body spritzer. People loved coming up to my floor to use the bathroom and just to sit up there, because it smelled so good. The CEO of the company even complimented me on how good it smelled. He said it never smelled that good up there before and thanked me, LOL.

I love for things to smell good including my own place. If I smell something horrid I’m spraying, LOL…I can’t be in funky environments for nothing. The ladies room is  the most disgusting bathroom, when it comes to public restrooms. I’ve seen women walk in there. No bag, nothing, some will even go with no toilet paper and drip dry and not even wash their hands and touch the door right after. This is repulsive to me. Every time I walk in to the ladies room, it smells like someone died in there.

Lets face it, peoples bodies have smells, and I don’t want to inhale it, when I got into the bathroom and plus these toilets, don’t have any toilet lids, so when you flush, all of that goes into the air. You never thought about that, did you?? Yes… This is what you call airborne pathogens. It’s always wise to put the lid down in your own home then flush. Most people leave it up. I don’t want to inhale someone else’s, whatever they did in the bathroom in my lungs. I care about the air I breathe in.

Why do I have to be called uppity, because I take pride in my personal hygiene. Why is having excellent hygiene being judged?? I personally think these women should follow my example especially with their homes. I can’t help it if my mom instilled in me to be this way. Growing up, we didn’t have much, but my mom always made sure we were clean.

I really shouldn’t have to explain this to anyone. Having a clean friend should be a good thing. I was hanging out with a friend of mine years ago and he appreciated how hygienic I was, when he had to use the public restroom really bad, and he knew I had all my stuff with me, so he felt comfortable going. He said he never knew a clean female like me, LOL….

Plus when my niece and nephew were little, kids get dirty all the time, so I always kept these items on me, so that they would be clean and a change of clothes. Mothers do this all the time, they don’t leave the house, without diapers and wipes and sanitizer, so what is the problem when I do it?!…A friend of mine laughed at me and said, oh you got wipes in your bag? Because I wipe this child’s nose and her hands. No one else did.

When I was coming from the airport, this guy was with his son, he kept wiping his nose with his hands and touching the seat and I gave him a”wet one” and the guy thanked me. He asked me if I had kids and I said no, I’m an aunt. He shared with me, that he had custody of his son and had to learn these things, since his divorce. A friend of mine almost cancelled her date because she didn’t have time to freshen up and I came to the rescue, lol with my body wipes and body splash… she felt comfortable, to go out on her date after work when she couldn’t home.

I’m always coming to the rescue of some woman in need, LOL… I remember when I was in L.A, and the lady in the stall next to me, didn’t have tissue and I gave her a wipe and she thanked me, said I had no idea they sold these things, I have to buy these things. She looked so happy, lol…I said to myself, WOW!…..I know women who don’t carry purses, they just got to the bathroom and walk out…tissue don’t clean everything…But I carry these things on me regardless, germs are everywhere,

I’m a germaphobe. Even if I know you and I have to use your bathroom, I’m spraying and sanitizing if I have to sit down, lol. I hate using other peoples toilet and public restrooms, this is one the reasons why I don’t like to go out much. I like to be near my own bathroom. Sharing a bathroom with people you know, let alone don’t know, you don’t know what they have, so it’s better to be safe than sorry. Every time when I spray air freshener in someones bathroom, they either say it smells nice or they get offended, LOL…

Hey you can’t please everybody. I’m not trying to appease you, I just like my private parts to be clean and fresh. At least the next guy I end up with, will know that I’m not a filthy female. If he decides he’s hungry, at least he’ll know, he’ll have a clean plate to eat off of, LOL…I’ll let that marinate, LOL.