Don’t Be Afraid To Dream…Your Dreams Can Always Become A Reality

img_0687Remember when you were a kid? And you use to imagine who you wanted to be?  Who you were going to marry? The house you were going to buy? That car you wanted to buy.

Remember how good it felt? How freeing it was. We’ll do that as an adult. Have that same free spirit and open mind. I know life happens and we grow up and we forget about our dreams. Our passions and hobbies.

But one thing I know for sure is that when God, puts something in your heart..it is never lost. The other day I got caught singing, lol. “How Many Ways I Love You ” by Toni Braxton was playing. The ending was near , which is my favorite part and I just belted out, “how many ways I love youuuuuuuuuuu, yeah ehhh yeah.” I was in the zone..

I wasn’t aware anyone was home. I’m walking though the door and I just had to sing along. I heard “ok Toni” and just laughed at my friend. I’m no Toni Braxton but I love taking on her spirit of music. This isn’t the first time I got caught singing, lol and it’s always in the weirdest places.

I got caught when I was 17, singing Selena, “Fotos y Requerdos” in the lady’s room fixing my hair, lol. I thought I was alone…this lady came out the stall and said ” who was that singing? I said oh me, she said you have a beautiful voice, I enjoyed listening to you. That’s one of my favorite songs.”

Then my friend came out another stall and tried to take credit for it, by saying, “well when you hang out with singers, it rubs off on you.” Yeah she tried to steal my shine. #hater, lol. Every now and then when I’m really feeling a song and the lyrics get deep down in my soul.

I just start singing and someone is always catching me, lol…and then it’s followed by a compliment. Then I’m looking at them like “oh, ok thank you” 😐 with this weird look on my face smiling. Maybe it’s because I’m not aware of my voice, but then I remind myself..

Although I’m a woman…that I’m the same girl, who was in the glee club and in chorus. I was always the first one in music class for almost 15 years. I stopped singing after my mom passed. I never even knew my mom could sing, until I heard her belt out this gospel song one day…

I realized in that moment, my mom had so many dreams, that never came to fruition and that’s why she let me pursue mine and was always supportive. I just lost my passion for it for while. Now if you ask me to sing I might be reluctant, that’s only because it won’t feel spontaneous and I hate being put on the spot. Then I become self-conscious, lol.

It has to flow freely, like my thoughts when I write…..But if you catch me singing, then you’ll be surprised.. I always wanted to see my name on a soundtrack, but not in the spotlight. I’m just not vying for the spotlight…

I keep fighting with God because I think he’s trying to push me out there and I don’t want to go, lol. Because a lot of things I gravitate towards are public. I think maybe in my past life I was an artist according to this test I took, because things I like to do are public and I want to remain private.

If there is something you want in life. Go for it! Do it for you! Share your dreams with people who believe in you. I remember telling an ex I wanted a studio in my house and he said a dance studio, I said no, a music studio and he had this look on his face, like he wanted to laugh but was holding it in.

I stopped talking to him about my aspirations and dreams. Then I got rid of him. Problem solved, haaa haaa 😀…… I realized this man never knew me and that I couldn’t be myself around him. Also that he was in my way. I was never supported by him when I talked about anything good.

When I would book something, he never came to see me perform. Meanwhile I was at every one of his games. That’s not love and support. The sad thing is, some people really do not want to see you shine. They are not moving forward so they don’t want you to surpass them in any way.

My teacher can sing his ass off, I wonder why this man doesn’t have a record deal or isn’t on broadway. selling out concerts. I love to hear him sing, especially Jeffrey Osborne. He can surely hang with the best of them. His vocals are unbelievable, he can imitate anyone. One of his problems is, he’s not with a supportive spouse, she does not believe in him. Nor does she support him.

You already know where this is going. Marriages like this don’t last. We must stop doing a disservice to ourselves by settling and being with people, who don’t believe in us and are not as passionate as we are. Doesn’t mean they are a bad person, they are just not the one whom we should share our lives with. Our partner should be just as passionate as we are.

img_0709If they are not, it will hold us back wether we realize it or not. I remember I was talking about a house and one of my friends kept saying something negative about money. I knew I didn’t have the money to buy this house or to move to an island. I was just dreaming out loud.

I just said to myself damn! I can’t say nothing without this girl shooting down my dream….killing my high. You have people like that, dream killers, emotional vampires. They can’t see a way for themselves having certain things in life.

So they don’t see it for you. Their minds are limited so they project that on to you. It’s just a reflection of who they are and where they are in life. They have no dreams or goals. That’s just living.

Truth is….we can be anything we want and have anything we want in this life, if we work for it. If we dare to dream and imagine it and see it in our minds. That’s the first step. Some people want things at other people’s expense. They love to ride shotgun.

They see how ambitious and how much of a go-getter you are and they want to tag along for the ride, but they don’t want to push the car, if you run out of gas and get a flat tire. People like that, you just have to leave behind. This is why I always support people. Because I know how it feels to have it and then to lose it.

This is why I go hard. If only it was reciprocated because my loyalty to others is not appreciated nor is my love. When people see how much I’m rooting for them, they expect it and feel very much entitled to it. It’s hard to find people who genuinely believe in you and that are selfless and loyal. It’s very rare. When you have a loyal person in your corner, don’t push them away.

If there is a dream in your heart, a song you want to sing and dance to. Just surrender and do it. Go back to when you were a child and just dare to dream. You might surprise yourself. You have to love yourself, have faith and believe in yourself and others will too. There are supportive kind people in the world.

You have to believe that what you want is possible and that God has a plan for your life. You never know where your journey to your dreams might lead you. Who knows maybe one day I will put out a single for me, just to say I did it. Music has always been a passion of mine. What is life without music.

Maybe I will see my name in the credits, whether it’s on a sound track or with my writings. Life is really what you make it…so why not make it the best it can be. You only get one round in this lifetime. Why not dare to dream and then make it a reality. That’s when real living will start and existing will cease. Miracles happen when you believe.

Namaste! God is love! With him all things are possible!

Revisit Your Younger Self From Time To Time

img_0102When was the last time you checked in with your younger self? There maybe something back there in your childhood that you need to revisit. Maybe there was something that you loved to do. That you simply forgot about.

As we get older and life kicks in, we get so busy, life deals us hands that we weren’t prepared for and we just make the best of it and deal. We move forward. But as we’re moving forward, we tend to forget about our past dreams and goals.

That we once had when we were a child or even as a young adult. Of course we cant stay young forever and we know we’re adults. But as we’re being an adult. We forget to be carefree sometimes and dream, like a child. We forget that magic and miracles exist and they are possible.

We think just because our birthday comes around, that we are over the hill and that it’s to late. When in truth and reality it’s not over. We’re still alive, we’re still breathing. You ever see how little kids just use their imagination and creativity. We can learn a lot from these little angels.

We need to remember that we were once young too. We may not be able to go back to that age, but we can always revisit our childhood. Everything starts from there. I know for me, when I was young. I fell in love with the performing arts.

But my life took a detour when I was 14 and I lost my mom suddenly. I thought everything that I love to do and my dreams die along with my mom. I tried to write, sing, dance. But I lost my passion for it. I was devastated, I thought to myself , what am I going to do now. My mom was my biggest supporter and I lost that.

Little did I know…all was not lost. The thing is, that when God puts something in you, it can never be lost. He’ll bring it to the surface again and help you get your passion back for if that’s what you really want.

We are all born with talents and gifts and most of all purpose. It doesn’t matter how many years it took me to find my passion for it again. As long as I got it back, because I prayed for it. That’s what’s most important.

Ask and it is given…..

In my past life I think I was a composer, a performer, according to a test a took. I’m not shocked because of my passion and love for the arts and music. Anything creative touches my soul. What I started to do was revisit those things, that I loved to do when my mom was alive, so at 27, I joined a dance school.

I bought myself a pair of shoes and just went for it. I had fun. I was there 5 days a week after work. Dancing made me feel alive. I felt like I had a piece of my childhood back and a part of my soul, that was put on a shelf for so many years. But I felt born again and it felt so good to be able to express myself through dance.

I remember when I joined people asked me where did I train. I didn’t train anywhere. Yes I watched dance videos. It was just innate. I’ve always had rhythm. I’ve always love dancing, it came naturally. When I hear a beat, I automatically know how to move to it. I can’t really explain it.

It’s like when an artist creates musics and knows the bars and knows when to come in with their melody. Creatives hear differently. I may not be able to become a ballet dancer or performer, but it doesn’t mean I can’t take classes. I don’t want to be a singer in the media, but it doesn’t mean that I can’t still record a song and put it on iTunes one day.

I know ones things for sure, I can still write 😉. Writing as a child always brought me joy and it still does as an adult. To be able to create stories and touch people with words, is a gift and a blessing. Words have the power to uplift people, the way artist do with their music.

If there is something that you missed and loved doing as a child. Don’t be afraid to revisit that part of your life again. Your life is not over. That maybe the very thing that you need in your life, so that you can merely stop existing and start living!

Namaste! God is love !

Why Being A Late Bloomer Is The Best Thing That Can Happen To You

7f7bf87a96dc3a5c624384cedec4a519I was up in the middle of the night, having a conversation with God and I was thinking about my life and the things that I wanted to do and become when I was younger.

I had dreams of being a performer. The bug hit me when I was little. I wanted to dance, act and sing but I was always writing. My mom was my biggest supporter. I remember the look in her eyes when I told I wanted to be an actress. Tears of joy.

Like one of her children dared to dream. But my life took a detour when my mom passed when I was 14. I went to go live with my father and everything I wanted to pursue. I really couldn’t. There was no support at home and there was no support at school either.

The high school I went to had no extra curricula activities. I tried to start a dance team, step team and acting club but nothing. The kids there were lazy and unproductive. This school was absolutely the worse. I realized I wasn’t around a lot of dreamers and people who wanted more out of life, just people merely existing.

I needed to express myself. I felt trapped in a school where there was no creative outlet, except one creative writing class and english class. Finally some hope. I always loved to write. I just stopped after some things that happened at home.

I tried to pursue the things that used to bring me joy when I was young, but my passion for it died. It wasn’t fun. Later on, I put myself out there…I got a chance to be on a few television and movie sets. I always wanted to see what that life was like. Mission accomplished!

With my inquisitive mind, I would watch movies and shows and I was very intrigued, about what happens behind the scenes and who created the content. I thought all the dreams I had been left on the island. But God would step in and prove me wrong. That the gift he instilled in me, was still there.

That there was one thing that I love to do, that would slowly come back to me….. and that was writing.

In middle school, I love to write and direct and during assembly’s we would perform them. I remembered that feeling of writing and directing. So In my 20s I started writing again, then put it down. Life was getting in the way,  especially working in corporate america and my dreams took a back seat for a minute.

Eventually I wind up picking up my pen again and this time, the timing was perfect. But everything around me was falling apart. But I just kept on writing….The more I got deeper into it. It dawned on me that it’s ok to bloom late in life. I’m glad I didn’t pursue acting full-time, I never wanted to be in front of the camera anyway.

I always felt like the power was more behind the scenes. I wanted to be the person who wrote the content and see my words come to life. What I needed in life, that God led me too, was life experience. I needed to have something to write about. I needed to experience pain, struggle, love to build my character. I needed to have a testimony. I needed to have resilience.

The entertainment industry is not all it’s cracked up to be and you must have a strong foundation and faith in God to be able to withstand what goes on and to avoid temptation. If your faith is not strong you can fall for anything people say and do anything to make it. I didn’t want to be that person, partying, drinking, smoking, being with men.

In that world, you never know who wants you for you, or for what you have and who you are. The fame in that world of entertainment will blind you and even the money. I didn’t want people idolizing me and focusing on my looks, I wanted people to pay attention to my words.

Blooming late and continuing to bloom, God couldn’t have wanted me any other way. He’s directing my steps….I wouldn’t have it any other way because the more I write.

I know that God is just preparing me for something greater, than I could have ever perceived. So I don’t mind being hidden…I’m still being groomed…I got a break when one of my favorite artist let me write for them. Seeing my name up there. I’m like wow! That’s me!! Can you feel me cheesing, lol 🙂

No matter what area in your life, you feel that whatever you want, hasn’t arrived yet, whether it be love or your career dreams….whether you want to go back to school and get your degree,..just plan to do it. People who bloom late, have the best careers, the greatest stories and testimonies.

They are are strong and can better handle whatever life throws at them. Because life is the best teacher. They can handle money better than someone who is young because they waited. They have more patience.

A lot of us are not where we want to be yet, but as long as we’re working on ourselves and our goal every day, whatever we want is bound to come to fruition. Just don’t let age and fear hold you back or another person, because it can be paralyzing.

People will have you think that just because it didn’t happen at a certain age, that it’s to late and it’s not. It’s simply not your timing yet. So many people want quick results and they don’t want to wait They want to live the good life now, but they don’t realize it takes time, work and consistency.

A lot of people don’t have the appreciation, for everything that’s going on in the moment and all the lessons and experiences they are learning while they are pursuign their goals, because they are so focused on the end results. Or measuring their life by someone elses success. That’s how one misses opportunities when they come.

Just know that it will happen….It’s on it’s way and when it comes, it’s going to feel so good that it took this long. The journey will be so worth the wait so need to fret.

So just have faith and pray…enjoy the journey, so you don’t miss anything in between and most of all have patience. Because it’s coming and when it comes. I just hope you’re ready for it and can fully accept it and enjoy it. It can happen at any moment…get excited about whats yet to come 🙂 Gods got your back!

Know Who Holds Tomorrow

ecd7357c7b1a5790f1bb25b4797f1f21In life sometimes we try to control things that are simply out of our hands. Not knowing that there is a time and a season for everything and everyone. We try to make that relationship that we know is bad for us work.

We try to control the outcome of someone who is transitioning, to stay and live for our own selfish reasons. We think, if we just love harder and pray harder that things will go our way.

We’re control freaks, admit it we are, even if we don’t say so. Having control makes us feel empowered. It makes us feel like we’re invincible.

There’s nothing wrong with being strong and overcoming adversity, and wanting what you want but we are not God. God is the source of all things. Sometimes it takes hard lessons for one to understand this. And this is simply because we have free will. But God created that too…

So there’s no getting away from the source. God gives the green light. Then when we don’t get what we want. We blame God and other people. Everything in life has a consequence. Good or bad. We can’t stop someone from living a certain lifestyle. No matter how much we love them. We can’t make someone love us no matter how much we love them.

Sometimes it really does take a village, the right kind of community and professionals to step in and do something when love ones can not. Life and death is not up to us, no matter how much we think it is. When someone passes away in your arms, you know you are not in control. But God is. Always has and always will be.

Most people don’t believe in God (a higher power or creator). I would like to know who they think made this earth. Who spoke things into existence. Who made it possible for us to exist as human beings. Who populated this world. The thing is, every one has to believe in something other than themselves. One must believe in a high power. Or else one’s spirit is lost and slowly dies.

Because where we falter as humans, (not falter in a negative way) what we can’t do, we need spiritual guidance. We need help from unseen forces. We need the spiritual world to operate on our behalf, to eliminate whats bad and to bring forth whats good. To work behind the unseen scenes. Every day and all day. We need miracles from God!

My family is going through a crisis. Everyone’s emotions are all over the place. This will be the second time where something devastating, has hit our family and to be honest it could have all been avoided. I don’t even know where to place my emotions. I’m hurt, I’m sad, I’m angry. I think back to when this behavior all started.

I try to find the root of the problem. Because for one to engage in this type of behavior. It has to come from somewhere. Usually in someones childhood. Everything starts at home. Life at home prepares you for the outside world. How to survive. Everyone needs life’s skills. I learned mines early on when I was 6, then when I 10 and started working.

I knew there would come a day where I would have to take care of myself. I didn’t know that day would come when I was 14 when God called my mother home. When someone in your life chooses to go down the wrong path, there’s only but so much you can do. But all of this stems from not knowing any better and a lack of self-love. When we love ourselves we don’t harm ourselves in any way.

It’s not ones fault if they don’t know how, if all they seen was the opposite. Someone has to teach you what love is. Who created love and how to love yourself and others. How to be selfless and not selfish. But most of all, this stems from the absence of God and the absence of a father who failed to lead. What’s happening to my family is happening to countless other families in this world. It’s systemic and needs attention.

Not only that, when you have two broken parents, who simply did not have the tools that they needed in life because they came from broken families. So they raised broken children. This is called PATHOLOGY. At some point it has to end. And it ended with me being the last of 5 siblings and as a female. All the women in my family were and are still broken. All the men are too.

One thing I always held on to was my faith. It’s the only thing that has carried me through, one of the most life altering experience in my life. Faith has kept me from snapping and screaming to the top of my lungs. Faith has kept me peaceful… Silent…Faith has shown me to always choose love, even from a distance. Faith has let me know that there are better days ahead simply because God said so.

img_4106I hold on to his word, the same way I need oxygen. It’s the only thing that sustains me. That keeps me going. I can not breathe without him. His love fills me up. At times when I forget, he reminds me with small acts of faith to keep me going…

I know in those moments that I am not separate from him. That God hasn’t forgotten about me. I thank God for my strength. That he has kept me when my life could have turned out far worse. God has grace for us when we simply do not see it for ourselves.

When something is inevitable, does it make you selfish because you want that person to fight and hold on. Or does it make you selfish because you trust in God, to release the suffering. Which one do you choose? Both or just one option? When do you surrender to what is and what is yet to come?

Letting go, surrendering, does not make you a quitter, it does not make you weak. If anything it shows how strong you are. It shows how much faith you have, because you know who holds tomorrow. You know who holds your hand. You fear nothing,…because you know God is with you, with them and always has been.

How Your Loves Ones, Who Have Transitioned Connect With You

Alrighty then…so there’s a spirit around me, no need to be alarmed right,…. It’s just my mom 🙂 ….

This is nothing new. My mom does this to me all the time,. I turned off this song 3 times. Thought I hit the button by mistake once, so I turned it off. I get up to close the window… the song comes again. I turn it off then it comes on again…then it comes on, on my phone. I’m like ok mom, I know that’s you,. I get it. alright. I’ll let it play :).

She does the same thing with Anita Baker, Jodeci, TROOP and Luther Vandross.

Everytime when I’m thinking of my mom and I’m missing home and the music we used to listen to. Something strange happens… It just makes me smile. I’m happy my mom takes time, like always to watch over me and to let me know she’s here when I sometimes feel like she’s not.

I know I’m not the only one who has experienced this. When love is on my mind, whether I’m hurting or happy or sad…a loved one or an Angel will step in. I know they hear me. The volume will rise and the energy of the room will feel different. I know I’m not alone. I can feel their energy around me.

Our loved ones who have transitoned are always communicating with us. We just have to be opened to listen. We have to recognize the signs. Just like the holy spirit talks to us all the time, so do our loves ones through music, writings and other people.

Angels do appear in human form.

So the next time something strange happens, No need to call Ghostbusters or run out of the room screaming,, haa haa…it’s just your love ones communicating with you, letting you know they hear you and they are trying to comfort you :).