Bathroom Etiquette 101: Put The Toilet Lid Down And Here’s Why

Ever walk in to a public or private restroom and immediately you walk out or hold your breath? Of course you have…..Well what a lot of people fail to realize is that, all those people that are using the bathroom. Everything that they are doing, is going into the air and guess what, you are breathing it in.

Yuck right! I know it makes you want to puke, but it’s the truth. I know when I step into a public restroom and stall, I spray before I enter, because I keep air freshener in my bag. Most people should in my opinion. When people come in after me, they have a pleasant smell. ūüėČit’s alway nice to think of others even when using a public domain.

I know you’re reading this and probably wondering, why is she talking about the toilet seat for? …we’ll continue reading…

Unless you have an air purifier or air sanitizer, in your home. Let me give you some pointers in Bathroom etiquette 101. I am very big on personal hygiene, I care my lungs and others, especially when it comes to several people using the toilet. A lot of people when they use the bathroom. They flush after they are done.

Nope… you are doing it all wrong. As you are doing whatever you are doing, while you are still on the commode, you should be flushing several times while your butt is on the seat, lol.¬†When you wait to flush, you give time to whatever you did in there, to escape and come up into the air.

If you wait until after you are done, and you don’t feel like flushing, then close the lid then flush. I know some people who don’t buy air freshener, so that means that if you go in after them, that stench is in there and you can probably tell what they had for breakfast, lunch and dinner. If people in your house don’t put the lid down, put a sign up.

If your bathroom doesn’t have a window for the smell to escape, guess what, it’s going to stay in there and you will breathe it in. It’s going to be in the air, in your towels, in your toothbrush, or anything else that you have open and exposed in the bathroom.

Some people keep their towels above the toilet. That is a huge NO-NO. Do not hang your towels above the toilet to dry or even put your facial tissues on the toilet tray. When you go to clean your toilet, there will be stains of some sort, but you can eliminate that by closing the toilet lid and cleaning the toilet and bathroom, daily, before and after you use it.

As humans, and I’m not trying to be funny. Our bodies may splish splash. It’s normal. We’ve all seen a drop or two on the seat after we or somebody else does a number one. Most of us don’t think of that when we get up. Thats why it’s always good to check behind youself after you’re done, and before ¬†you sit down. Even on your own toilet.

Public seats of course you squat. I’ll reiterate again. The bathroom should be cleaned daily. Every one should be wiping down their toilet daily, not waiting until the end of the week on bathroom day. Bathrooms need constant cleaning since we use it every day. Faucets and knobs too. Put your toothbrush in a concealed toothbrush holder or cabinet and away from the toilet too.

I can not tell you the many times, I’ve seen people who have their toothbrush holder above the toilet, exposed and the toilet lid is up. If you leave your toilet lid up out of habit. Think about the air you are breathing in, and from what someone else is doing. Think about airborne pathogens. Buy a self-closing toilet lid. Put an air purifier above or near the toilet.

Use natural oils to keep your bathroom smelling fresh and clean. I buy orange oil spray, it’s a natural odor eliminator and air freshener. You can get it from walmart and home depot. Stores sell these products for us to keep our homes, nice and clean and smelling fresh. Do yourself a favor and use them ūüėČ.

One more tip….tissue alone will not clean everything, lol. Do yourself a favor and buy a bidet or wipes. Doesn’t matter if they are baby wipes or Scotts. Just make sure you clean your private areas, lol. Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed!

At least You Were Open, Even though You Didn’t Make A Love Connection

On our quest to find love, to want love, whenever we meet someone we’re hoping that we make a love connection. We want them to know how much we like them in some way and how much we feel a connection.

Sometimes this happens quick for others, sometimes it takes time for that spark to really stay lit. I’m not a dater. I just prefer not to use the word date or anything associated with it. Unless I really, really like a guy. I was watching this video clip of this woman and on the very first date, she was talking about serious topics. Marriage, babies, living together.

Every guy wanted her to slow down. I felt like those men because every time I talk to a guy, they think I’m the one. I honestly don’t know what it is about me, that makes them think that. It gets to the point that even before the first date, there are signs that the guy is moving way to fast.

It’s okay to know what you want, but why are you looking at me for?? If you have been reading my blogs, you already know I meet men who move way to fast. If it was up to them, they would have me move in, knock me up and marry me and it doesn’t even matter in which order.

Both men and women who move to fast, that’s a sign that they are very controlling. They want what they want and they get possessive and dominating in the process. When it comes to wanting love, just be open to meeting new people.¬†Every one you meet is not the one. Even if you don’t make a love connection, at least you were open and put yourself out there.

I put myself out there this summer. It was scary but I went for it, it was nice while it lasted. I know that I needed to be reminded of, what it felt like to be in the presence of a man again and to enjoy myself and his company and have him enjoy mine. I was looking forward to a second outing but it never happened. It’s been a minute since I went out with a guy, not because I wasn’t open at times.

It’s just that they were players and tried to Netflix and chill and have sex the first day.¬†They kept breaking dates, standing me up or attempting to string me a long.. yeah, lol….(it’s kind of hard to date another woman, while you’re married) They just wanted to get me in bed first. But I have a track record, like so many other men and women, with just seeing someone one time and then that’s it.

Hell if I know the reason why I haven’t seen them or spoke to them again. Sometimes they are just not feeling you. Men act like I’m kryptonite or some sh*t, lol. They have to stay away from me (so they say). They don’t wanna fall for me or get to into me. They think I’m going to throw a monkey wrench in their plans. They think I’m going to be like the last woman.

They just don’t know how to deal with me or even begin to love me the right way. My so-called love life is an enigma to me. But it is what it is. I’m not going to cloud my brain and spirit, with thoughts of why the guy is not calling. Whether he has a wife or a girl or many lovers. I’m not going to doubt myself and where I’m at in my life.

I know that when a man really wants to see a woman and he’s into her, he makes an effort. He’s not inconsistent and makes excuses for why he won’t do something. No matter how busy he is. The same for women. It’s just a matter of priorities. If you’re not a priority, then don’t try to make yourself one. Both parties have to make an effort. But it seems like it’s ALWAYS one-sided.

It took courage for me to open my heart and that’s all that matters. Not sure if I will be doing it again any time soon, lol. But at least I tried. I give myself an ‘E’ for effort :). When you don’t have long-term expectations or any at all, it makes it easier to move on. There will be more chances for love, you just gotta wait for it.

The man or woman, that really wants to be with you in every way will appear when the timing is right. You’ll know where you stand. You’ll know you are on their mind, They’ll call you in the morning or whenever. They’ll acknowledge you and let you know you are special. Until then, just be open and be friends first.

With love, timing is everything. It really is. Sometimes two people can be perfect for each other, but their circumstances are not. Work on you and get your life together. The person who is meant to stay in your life will stay. They’ll know that they have someone really special in their life and heart and they will not do anything to lose you…. Wait for it! ūüôā



Tell-Tale Signs A Woman Can’t Cook

04155859_such_a_lousy_cook_can_t_even_boil_toast_funny_poster_xlargeEvery day when I check my email, men are asking me. Do women still cook? Or Why don’t women cook anymore? When I check the stats on my blog. One of my most viewed articles, that’s viewed every single day is Why Men Love Women Who Can Cook.

What this is telling me is that hungry men across the globe are looking for a woman, who knows how to throw down in the kitchen. Even if a man can cook, he wants to know that the his wife-to-be,¬†is going to be able to feed him and his children. I don’t know why this is so hard to understand.

Men let me give you a little advice… you listening…

If cooking is important to you and you want to get married one day and have a family. Find out early when you start dating a woman, if she knows how or enjoys cooking. Just ask. Don’t be afraid to have this talk. I keep hearing from men, that they have a beautiful wife or significant other but she doesn’t know how to cook. You men keep being blinded by the booty, I mean beauty, LOL..

Find ways to bring up the topic of food. If it’s not important to you on the first couple of dates, and you’re not really feeling her, then don’t mention it. But if you find yourself really liking a woman and you missed the mark of asking her if she cooks.¬†No need to fret.

There are all sorts of signs that the woman you are dating, does not like to cook:

If you’re a dating a woman and she likes to eat out all the time, or ask what restaurant you are going to. That’s a tell-tale sign she does not like to cook. If she never mentions inviting you over for dinner or going over to your house for dinner.¬†That’s¬†a tell-tale sign she does not like to cook. Offer to take a cooking class for a date. If her reaction is lackluster. You know she has no interest in being in the kitchen.

If she has a drawer full of take menus within a 5 mile radius and restaurants on speed-dial.¬†Thats a tell-tale sign she does not like to cook. If you do get invited over to her house, mention that you are hungry or ask her what kind of dishes she likes to make. Based off her answer. Something like, I haven’t cooked in weeks.¬†That’s¬†a tell-tale sign she does not like to cook.

I know a few women that have confessed to not cooking in over 2 months and they have children. All I can think about is those poor children and her man. Every womans kitchen should look like it’s being used. I don’t care how clean a woman is. You can tell if the kitchen has been used. There should be signs of the gas range being cooked on and the oven being used. Even some grease escaping on the hood of the filter.

my-new-girl-told-me-she-was-independent-bro-u-know-that-means-she-dont-cook-b54feIf the woman you’re dating, if her kitchen looks like a model home’s kitchen.¬†That’s a tell-tale sign she does not like to cook. If a woman makes up excuses for not knowing how or learning how to cook.

For example, I know a few women that have said, I’m independent and I’m focused on my career, making money and my education. I don’t need to know how to cook for a man.¬†That’s the dumbest shit I ever heard. As if educated people or working class people don’t cook.

If you’re in a womans kitchen, pay attention to the dinner ware and silverware that she owns. If she only uses plastic cups and plates or it looks like her silverware is from the 99 cent store. Then that’s another tell-tale sign she does not like to cook.

Look around to see if there are any cooking gadgets and utensils, that would normally be on the counter. Don’t be afraid to peek in the cabinets either, lol. Go for it! This is your chance to see if this woman you’re interest in dating, if she is “wife and mother material”.

The same way a woman wants to know if you have a degree or a make good money and drive a nice car. And she’s looking at your attire and shoes. Don’t be afraid take a peek around her kitchen. Lol. Open the fridge too or offer to make something to eat or get something to drink for the both of you.

If she jumps up real quick and doesn’t want you peeking in her fridge, most likely that’s because there is no food in there. Any woman who enjoys cooking, won’t mind you being in her kitchen. Pay attention to the cookware too. People who enjoy cooking will not have scratched up cookware that looks out dated.

If you buy a woman a cookware set or plates and silverware and her reaction is not a good one. That’s another tell-tale sign that she does not like to cook. A woman who loves to cook, will be elated she has new cookware. I remember a guy I was dating bought me a red plate and bowl I was looking at. When he gave it to me, he couldn’t believe how happy I was, LOL.

Yeah he laughed at me. He said, it’s just a dish not a pair of shoes. Damn, I never seen a woman get so happy over a plate and bowl. Well it was the thought that counts. I have been looking at the two¬†piece set for a while, but I was waiting for the price to drop. I thought of all the pictures I could take with my food. How pretty it would look :).

I’m telling you men to do all of the above, because I’ve done it to women I know. When I go over to a friend’s house, the kitchen is the first place I go to. I’m always scanning another womans kitchen. LOL because I like to cook and I love food. When I open the fridge, the first thing they say is, I haven’t went food shopping. I’m like oh ok, you said that 3 months ago….(birds chirping)

They even start making up excuses on why they have not cooked. There have been a few times where I had to bring my own pot and pan over to someone house, because I couldn’t use their cookware. Not to mention a real dinner plate, bowl, glass, fork, spoon, knife gadget, measuring cup. Yeah, lol…I don’t eat off of plastic or paper plates. If it’s not 18/10 stainless steel, I’m not eating with it and neither should you.

Men of course you should know how to cook for yourselves. Especially if you live alone¬†Cooking is a life skill. You should be able to cook for your lady too. Plus it’s healthier and it will save you money. But if you plan on being old-school and you want your future wife to cook. Make sure you know all of the above :).

How To Keep Your Home Organized

a-place-for-everything-quoteKeeping a home organized is not as hard as one may think. I get it, at times, you are just plain ol’ tired. I know the feeling, don’t we all. But I find that the best way to stay organized and to keep your home tidy is to get the mess, before the mess gets you. That mess didn’t accumulate on it’s on, someone had to do it.

You know those home stores, bed, bath and beyond, the container store, walmart, kmart. Even the 99cent store. They have everything you need :). Try stopping in there, you might be surprised what you can find, :). It’s not the shoe, clothing or jewelry store but guess what?? They sell brooms, mops, cleaning agents and a whole bunch of other things to keep your home organized and clean.

Everything in your home should have a purpose and a place. If it doesn’t trash it, donate or sell it. Trash for example, belongs in the garbage. Now I’m not being funny here… because I’ve seen people leave trash and food on the floor and in other places of their home. They drop something on the floor and walk away, next thing you know, a free-loading visitor (aka rat, roach or ant) comes and picks it up.

Just like dirty clothes or the laundry. It doesn’t belong on the treadmill or in the kitchen or on the floor in your room or bathroom floor. It belongs in the hamper. You can buy a hamper at walmart. Afer the laundry is done, fold and put away. ¬†When you use something for example dishes. Wash it and put it away. I don’t care when you do it, just do it and not leave it there for days or months.

256fb6ec5f82272356be424a1219b88dOne of my biggest pet peeves is dishes in the sink. The only time I leave a dish in the sink is if it needs to soak. Other than that, I wash it immediately or before I got to bed. If you have a dishwasher use it. Dishes, pots, pans, belong in the cabinets, put away. Not on the counter or on top of  the stove or inside the stove for days and not in the bedroom either. Cabinets are there for a purpose, use it.

Get into the habit of putting things away. When you take off your clothes, hang them up, don’t throw it on the bed or on the floor or any other area of your home. Once you get into the habit of putting things away, your home will stay tidy and there will be no need to be overwhelmed by the mess.

Vacuum once or twice a week. Sweep, dust briefly 3-4 times a week, to keep dust from accumulating. It will only take a few minutes and mop the floor too. A lot of people do not like to mop. When you spill something mop it up, don’t leave it there. That goes for in the refrigerator too.

In all honesty, there should be no reason anyones home is a mess. If it is that just spells neglect and just laziness. Respect and love the space you’re in. If you pay rent there, respect the money and the space you dwell in and your landlords property. Love yourself enough to know, you deserve to live in a clean organized home.

Make a ‘to do list’ and keep it where you can see it. If you are overwhelmed with keeping it together. If you have kids make them help. Simplify your life and get rid of things and people because they can keep your place a mess.

When my last relationship ended,..oh man….(takes a breath….I’m smiling :)..) the joy of not coming home to dishes in the sink or in my bedroom or living room. My apartment was much cleaner, the way I left it. My bed stayed made, there was no hair on the sink, floor or toilet. No shoes on the floor for me to trip on. No clothes on the couch.

imagesYeah, I’m talking about a man, not a 2-year-old, lol. But I mind as well have had a child, because then it would make more sense, lol. I’m in no rush to live with anybody. I’m traumatized, lol. Only have people in your life, who respect your home and the way you live.

Men just incase you are reading….Nothing sexier than a man who cleans!! You want us to clean, clean too! When you shop for something, make sure that when you purchase it, there is a place for it. If not leave it at the store until you know where you are going to put it.

If you must leave something out. Make sure it’s neatly organized and not thrown. Like your robe, that can be placed on a chair or hook. Toiletries can be neatly organized but they should really be in the bathroom on in the drawer out of sight. Your home should looked lived in, but it should look like a model home, clean, organized and immaculate :).

Remember when you are organized in your home, you are organized in all other areas of your life!!

How Your Loves Ones, Who Have Transitioned Connect With You

Alrighty then…so there’s a spirit around me, no need to be alarmed right,…. It’s just my mom ūüôā ….

This is nothing new. My mom does this to me all the time,. I turned off this song 3 times. Thought I hit the button by mistake once, so I turned it off. I get up to close the window… the song comes again. I turn it off then it comes on again…then it comes on, on my phone. I’m like ok mom, I know that’s you,. I get it. alright. I’ll let it play :).

She does the same thing with Anita Baker, Jodeci, TROOP and Luther Vandross.

Everytime when I’m thinking of my mom and I’m missing home and the music we used to listen to. Something strange happens… It just makes me smile. I’m happy my mom takes time, like always to watch over me and to let me know she’s here when I sometimes feel like she’s not.

I know I’m not the only one who has experienced this. When love is on my mind, whether I’m hurting or happy or sad…a loved one or an Angel will step in. I know they hear me. The volume will rise and the energy of the room will feel different. I know I’m not alone. I can feel their energy around me.

Our loved ones who have transitoned are always communicating with us. We just have to be opened to listen. We have to recognize the signs. Just like the holy spirit talks to us all the time, so do our loves ones through music, writings and other people.

Angels do appear in human form.

So the next time something strange happens, No need to call Ghostbusters or run out of the room screaming,, haa haa…it’s just your love ones communicating with you, letting you know they hear you and they are trying to comfort you :).

Why TV’s Should Never Be In The Bedroom

imagesWe all like to watch a little tv right? A little tv is fine but some watch it in excess. I’m not really a tv person. I haven’t seen it in months…The number one place that a TV should not be in, is in the bedroom.

Whether it’s your bedroom or the kids bedroom.¬†Televisions are a big distraction. Some people have them in every room, even in the bathroom and kitchen. Why does one have to watch so much television?

I’m the only one out of all my friends and family, that doesn’t have kids and whenever they talk to me about putting the kids to sleep and why they will not go to bed. It always has something to do with the television. Some kids will not fall asleep unless the TV is on. Television stops you from spending quality time with your significant other and your children. I’ve seen parents put their kids in front of the television when they just don’t want to be bothered.

I learned in my last relationship that my ex loved TV more than me. It was a huge mood killer. Not only that I couldn’t sleep. So I did what any normal sane person would do. I got rid of the TV in the bedroom, kept one TV in the living room and I eventually cut the cable off. I saved some money too and got rid of him too, LOL Haaaaa Haaa, sorry I couldn’t past that one up, LOL :).

When I had a TV in the bedroom, I only watched an hour or two. It never stayed on for hours. Some people claim watching TV before bed, helps them fall asleep. Television actually stops you from getting a good nights sleep. What you watch before bed, gets embedded into your psyche. It can stop you from dreaming.

Mass-communicationBefore you go to bed, or if you’re just relaxing….your mind should be calm, it should be clear. You should journal before bed, pray, listen to some soft music. Music like “Dwelling Place” By Cameron Evans, featuring Allen McNeil. Music like this is simply relaxing. Make love before you go to sleep, not watch TV.

I notice that people who watch to much TV have no peace within themselves or their homes. They need a distraction from their own life. TV keeps them from reflecting, from being creative, from learning.

A lot of people don’t realize that walls hold energy and a lot of the things we watch and the energy from the television programming, stays within our homes. It’s the same with music. Everything is energy, people things, places. One should always be a conscious watcher when they are watching TV. I know people who watch a lot trash TV (aka reality shows) and I see how, it has an effect on their mind and how it effects their personal relationships.

I’ve heard women bring up these people in an argument.”Love and Hip Hop or basketball wives” should never be brought up in an argument and one should not strive, to become like one of these women. Thinking that being loud and aggressive is going to make, the man in their life change. How is trash TV educational? Some people are so involved with theses characters.¬†I get it, when you are into a show, you are into a show.

I loved me some “One life to live” when it was on the air. That was my hour a day.¬†But it’s just entertainment, not real life.¬†Television just like music, has a big influence on ones mind. Ever notice that when you watch the news, the depressing stories they air, then they repeat it over and over again. As if once wasn’t enough. Why would you want to watch that before bed, after you already had a long hard day?

How is that relaxing? listening, to negative sh*t, LOL before bed. I don’t even watch the news. If I want to find out something, I’ll just go on social media.¬†I just feel like if you are going to watch tv, be conscious of what you watch. Try to watch something spiritual and happy in the morning and at night. Watch something educational, learn something. When it comes to watching TV in the bedroom. That’s a huge NO NO for me.

The bedroom is a sacred place, that should only be for sleeping, dreaming, relaxing, reading, writing, and making love. Everything else must stay out. 

Be careful of the energy you emit in your home. No fighting in the bedroom either. The same goes for when you walk into your home after a long day. Leave work at work. Take off your shoes, take a shower (some people don’t) they go to bed without showering, bringing the outside world and everything they did into their home and bed. Spend time with your significant other, turn off your electronic devices. Talk to each other, have a nice family dinner.

Your home is your private oasis. Make sure the ambience is simply relaxing.

Are You An Introverted HomeBody? Well, Don’t Feel Bad…Because I don’t LOL

IMG_4738So It’s friday evening and as soon as people get off from work, they are ready to have fun. Go out, hit the club and socialized. Well this doesn’t work for the introverted homebody. My wild friday nights and weekends consist of me sometimes, shutting myself off from the world.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind going out every now and then (maybe once a month, lol. I said maybe) but I need to know where I’m going and how long we are going to be out. Every time someone invites me out, I see the look on their face, “like why the many questions?”. Sorry but I need to know, LOL.

I get tapped out really quick, especially when I’m around constant noise.¬†I can’t be around constant chatter for hours. It will literally give me a migraine.¬†I don’t have clothes for many occasions, so when I’m asked to go out, I always have to think about what’s in my closet to go out in. If I have to think about buying something, forget it! Shopping for clothes is not fun to me. The stuff I see women have in their closets.

My closet would never look like that. A few weeks ago I went out with a friend of mine and we were able to just be ourselves and just wear our plain clothes. I had on short capri leggings and a jacket and flip flops and he had on a T-shirt, shorts and sandals LOL. That was really refreshing to just be able to relax, it was a sunday and I really did not feel like getting dressed up for an outing.

I know not to many people, will do that but I’m a real simple woman. I try not to call things a date, just two people hanging out. So there’s no pressure.¬†When friday comes and after a long day and week, I’m ready to go home, shower, get naked, lol… eat, relax, read and write. That’s my idea of a wild friday night and weekend LOL. Now that I’m in LA, I can go to the beach, library or the book store.

I like quiet, low maintenance activities. Stuff that don’t cost much.¬†As a homebody, I’m met with a lot of disdain. People can’t seem to understand why I don’t want to hang out and have fun during the week and weekend. I’ve been called a hermit, an old lady, a SAP, uppity, I’m not considered fun, people tell me don’t have kids or get a man and I just found out I’m anti-social.

I’m not anti-social. I’m anti-selective, LOL.¬†

I love people, I’m a people person, I can be spontaneous and have fun but not several times a week. ¬†And what kind of fun are we talking about. Crowds, noise, sorry not for me. I don’t have a gang of friends male or female. I’m very selective in whom I give my time to. If I don’t like you. I’m not spending time with you. I see people hanging out with people, just to hang out. That’s a waste of time, that one can never get back.

Only homebodies understand homebodies. 

I need to deprogram and be alone with my thoughts and wifi, lol…, I need to reflect and be alone with myself and God and another quiet person if I’m in a relationship. Just because introverted homebodies like to be alone, doesn’t mean they like to be left alone all the time. The world is so busy and sometimes you just have to tune people out. It’s nothing personal and I’m understanding that a lot lately, LOL.

I asked a friend of mine was something wrong with me, because I felt like everyone was judging me because I didn’t want to go out and hang and I just wanted to be left alone. I kept wondering why the constant judgement. I felt I needed to change just a bit, to fit in but he reassured me that I was perfectly fine just the way I am.¬†Sometimes it’s good to get a different perspective, because people see things that you don’t see and they are able to tell you some things about yourself.

Wether good or bad, you just have to be open to constructive criticism.¬†Sometimes change is good, ¬†But I can’t be fake and I have to keep it real with myself and others. If I don’t feel like engaging in certain activities, I just don’t feel like it. So homebodies across the world, we must stand together and unite and know that there is nothing wrong with us. We’re perfectly fine!

So what if we don’t like to go out and our favorite pair of clothing is yoga pants and a t-shirt or nothing. Ahhh the joys of being home naked and alone, LOL. More people should be free. More people should enjoy their own company, because I do and it’s the most liberating thing in the world!!