Held Captive By Music

Music knows it’s held me captive and it has no plans of letting me go now

Music knows the way I feel as soon as I hear that beat drop

It senses my energy and invites me into its world

With music there is no judgement, I can just let go and be myself

Music has me under its complete spell 

I obey music with my mind, spirit and body 

I reach for music all day, every day…. in the middle of the night

Feenin, hungry, thirsty needing that next fix, that next melody and lyric

I need music’s conversation for I feel it’s the only thing that understands me

Music knows I’m an addict, that I try to find ways to have the voice and lyrics inside of me

I want it so bad, I want to drink it and taste it, inject it, cover my body with it

Music can have its way with me at anytime or any place

Music understands me and wants me to be a slave to it

Music knows that I will take on the artist spirit and feel what the artist feel

I can be free, naked and totally uninhibited with music

Music hits all of my erogenous zones and makes my body feel intoxicated

Music loves touching every part my body. Seeing it’s notes on my body like a music sheet

Wondering which part of my body it’s going to play with next

Music loves penetrating the portal of life and playing with my love button

That vibrating sensation is just what music wants

Music loves to take me there even if it’s just for a moment of release

Music knows I never want to let it go and it doesn’t want me to

Music loves to undress me and wishes it had lips so it could kiss me

And taste every part of my body with its lyrics and melody

Music traces it’s lyrics on my skin like braille

When I get high with music, music is very pleased for it knows

It has done its job of bringing me to ecstasy

Music knows I’m addicted but music says, its ok be free because it’s a safe kind of high.

Music loves when I feel sensual and sexy, for it enjoys pleasing me

And knows that I’m in-tuned with its melodies

Music enjoys tantalizing me, it enjoys my sexy moans,

The way my body moves to it’s rhythm, to the instruments

Music smiles for music is very pleased with my reaction

Music sees the lyrics, passion and fire in my eyes reaching to the depths of my soul

Music loves when I repeat certain parts of a song

Then music feels my body pulsate with anticipation of its next melody

Music enjoys the anticipation of my mental climax, for it know my body will follow

Music loves to take my breath away and breathe the lyrics back inside of me

Giving me life over and over again, knowing it’s the only resuscitation I need

Music wants me to always be held captive under its spell

And I want to for as long as I can breathe music in my lungs

But music knows the day will come, when it will have to share me

When it will lead me to another music lover, that can take over

So that I can experience the human part of music’s ecstasy

Music wonders who will this music lover be? I wonder too?

Music will not just hand me over to anybody, music will be very selective 

When choosing to hand me over to another music lover and so will I 

Music knows they must be just as passionate, they have to want to be high

They can’t get jealous of the way music makes me feel

They can’t censor me or music will take me back and keep me to itself

Becoming possessive over me and never wanting to let me go again

Music is selfish and I understand because we get each other

Our love affair is deep and it will another etherial soul to get how music makes me feel

Music knows that not everybody gets music, nobody everybody feels the way I feel

That my ecstasy is rare and doesn’t want to let it go

Music is a bit jealous to let me go, but knows its inevitable

But music knows it will forever dwell in my spirit

While silently sharing me with a new love

SongVersations: “Can You Stand The Rain?” By New Edition

I was listening to “Can You Stand The Rain” By the Iconic and Legendary R&B Group New Edition. From the moment the birds starts singing and the beats drops and Johnny Gill hits that riff, that’s gets deep into your soul.

You know, just by hearing the melody that you are about to be taken on a sweet melodic ride. This is one of those songs that can you play on repeat for hours.

There are so many different waves of emotions in this song. You’ll enjoy the music and melody but you will understand and feel the lyrics. Have you ever paid attention to the lyrics to this song? Like really paid attention?

What you hear is men expressing themselves. Being vulnerable. Saying I need you. I can’t do this alone. Yes I’m strong but I need the love of my woman. These kind of sentiments is missing from todays music and the hearts of men in society.

Luckily we still have artist like New Edition that still keep the magic and the love and romance alive. You don’t stick around for 30+ years for nothing. You gotta be doing something right. Thats because real men know how to get the hearts of women, with love and romance.

This song let’s you know that REAL MEN do feel. Real men do have emotions. This song poses a simple question… Can You Stand The Rain? Men want to know that when times get hard, will you be there by their side. Will you lift them up and take care of them the same way they take care of you.

Will you love them unconditionally no matter how much money or things they have. A man will be with a woman no matter how much money she makes or what she has, (some) women not so much so. Some women have a set figure on what a man should have in order to take care of her, which is sad and selfish.

A real man sees himself as a provider and protector of his woman and family and when a man can’t do that, his heart and pride is bruised. For a real man knows his role in a woman’s life and what God has called him forth to be. Whether you are an artist or just a regular blue collard hard-working man.

Every man wants to know that they have, the security of their significant other by their side. After dealing with the stresses of the world outside of their home. They need to come to a loving woman, who will make their house a home. They need a woman’s love to inspire them through difficulties. From an artist perspective, they are on the road performing and touring.

They won’t be able to see or talk to their significant other or even be with their family and they want to know, will you be there by their side when money fluctuates. Will you live with me in a studio apartment and not just a mansion. Can you weather the storm? Can you hold things down if I need you too.

“Love unconditional, I’m not asking just of you, we have to make it last, I’ll do whatever needs to be done” “When it’s tough she won’t run, she will always, be right there for me.” I’ll do my part but will you do your part? Will you trust me and us and what we have? Tell me, will you be there for me? 

It doesn’t matter whether these men sing or are in a group and ‘famous’. They are still human and men first. They still go through the same trials and tribulations that other men go through. Being in an iconic group, doesn’t mean that life does not happen to you.

Everyone wants to be around you, when things are good. When you are on top. When you have money. But what about when things fall apart. Thats when you really see who has your back. Every man wants unconditional love from his woman. They want her to stay when times get hard, not just be there for sunny days.

I hear from men all the time, how they don’t have the support and love from their woman or don’t feel appreciated unless its pay-day. Or they thought they had a supportive woman until they lost their job and they found out they were weathering a storm all by themselves.

These are good men who are doing everything, to make their lady happy, but when they fall on hard times, who’s going to be their rock. Who’s going to lift their spirit up and not make them feel less of a man and inadequate. A real man is not going to feel good about living off his woman.

This song is not just for men singing to the hearts of women. I find myself relating to these lyrics because I ask the same question when it comes to men. Can you stand the rain? Will you be there for me if I need you?

In my last relationship when the ship was sinking, when the storm got heavy and it started pouring rain. I found out the hard way I was alone. I had to rescue myself and make sure I didn’t drown although I saved him when his boat was sinking. He had me in ways that I never had him.

Until one day I punctured a hole in his boat and found out he could swim and take care of himself. Men have given to much in their previous relationships and now when they come across a good woman. They want to know whats she’s going to do for him first and they want a woman to give of herself first. I keep meeting these ass@*%$, lol..

Times and men are changing. Men are looking for women to have their own and be independent so they can just come in a have a free ride. Men want women to weather the storm. They’ll go M.I.A. on a woman if she needs him. When times get hard, they want her to pick up the sword and fight for them while they relax.

Why do men want woman to carry the relationship now a days? They want to see how strong a woman is built. They want her to step into masculine energy. If she can do it on her own, why does she need you? That’s not a real man.

A real man knows a woman can do it on her own, but a real man will not let her. Can you Stand the rain? I’m sure she can, but will you hold the umbrella for her and protect her?

Whatever happen to being each others rock. Isn’t that the whole purpose of being in someone’s life. Isn’t that the purpose of loving someone unconditionally? What’s up with these one-sided relationships and self-entitlement? Thats not love. Thats self-centered narcissism.

Love is freedom. Love is all-knowing and seeing. It should happen organically. Love is protective and being there for each other in good times and bad times. We shouldn’t let each other drown. When you say you love someone….show it.

“Storms will come, this we know for sure…I know all the days won’t be perfect” but there is no pressure.” The next time you decide to open your heart to love, ask for what you need and want. Ask, can you stand the rain? If the answer is yes and you see it in their actions, then you will know you got a good one. Then you can say, “Come on baby, let’s go get wet.”

Just Because They Couldn’t Love You, Doesn’t Mean You Aren’t Loveable

img_0519Let me ask you something, when was the last time you looked yourself in the mirror and knew that you were lovable? That you knew you are a beautiful spirit that deserved the utmost love and respect.

That you deserve the kind of love that makes you feel like you are floating on cloud 9. The kind of love that you know you want, that kind of love that makes you want to be a better person.

I get so tired of people thinking that just because the man or woman they loved, that didn’t have the courage to love them back, thinking that they are not lovable. They think that out of all the people on this planet, that that’s the only person who is ever going to love them or that they want love from.

Incase no one has told you, you are lovable. I get it… when our heart wants what it wants it just does. It hard to accept the reality that some people don’t know how to love. Some people are not ready for love. Don’t fret. Do yourself a favor and be glad, they are not loving you. Their half-ass love wasn’t meant for you, because you are not a half-ass person.

They are just clearing room for Mr. and Mrs. Right to come into your life. You know the kind of love you deserve. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in some ones life and to love you. I don’t know how many times I can say this over and over.

Love is not complicated people are. Relationships are not hard. People make them difficult.

I know unrequited love hurts. It does. We’ve all been there. We express ourself to some one and we use the word LOVE, because we actually mean it, but then the other person kills us with their silence an inaction. I know I’m tired of men telling me they love me and being emotionally unavailable.

I’m tired of men saying they love me, when they haven’t even seen me in person or talked to me in days or months. Some people are in love with the idea of you. They are infatuated. I don’t play with the world love. When I say I love you, I mean it and I back it up. Men not so much so now a days.

The men that tell me they love me after a couple of hours, days or months haven’t really spent any time with me to love me. They are just using the word love to attempt to get what they want. I never believe them. I’m like ok, you used this word, now show it. Then they can’t. They ghost or they forgot they had a wife or girlfriend or kids. It just sounds nice to say in the moment.

Some people expect you to know they love you, when they don’t call you, speak to you, don’t make any effort to see you. Your communication is met with silence. They never want to address your emotions or anything you want to talk about, but yet they claim to love you. When you love someone you communicate. You express yourself. You listen with an open heart.

This can’t be the new love.

When you love someone, you show it. You see them, you talk to them. You make your presence known. You can’t be like….”I’m going to show her how much I love her by not talking to her, ignoring her, not seeing her and giving her any attention or putting in any effort, but I still want her to think we have something and that we’re more than friends.” Really?! Is this the new love??

This is what men are doing now and I’m not really feeling them on this. I don’t have to settle and neither should you. This is why I don’t date. I know that I’m lovable. I know that when I do decide to be in a relationship. I’m going to make some man very happy, because I know how to love. I’m cognizant of why I want to complement someones life and it’s not for selfish reasons.

People who say I love you and don’t show it, they are probably used to saying that word so many times and getting what they want. Some people are in love with the idea of love, then they realize oh shit!! Love is a verb? “Damn, I said I love this man or woman, now I have to show it?” I never knew that was part of love.” Well…. news flash it is!!!!

Don’t let someone who toys with your emotions and heart, that strings you along then doesn’t have the courage to man or woman up and tell you, that there is no you and them. Make you feel like you are not lovable. You had the courage to open your heart, they didn’t. It was easier for them to ghost and ignore you, because they weren’t courageous for the passion that burned deeply inside of you.

Why You Should Try A Long Distance Relationship Once In Your Life

img_0953Most people when they are searching for love limit themselves to where love should reside. They want someone in the same state or that lives within a certain distance.

Anything over 30 minutes they write it off. What most people don’t realize is that love can be anywhere in the world. And if you really want to be with that person you will find a way to make it work.

I think everyone should try a long distance relationship, once in their life and here’s why:

When you meet someone, your goal should be, to get to know them as a person. Most people when they meet someone all they are focused on is the physical. If you are really serious about love, you will focus on friendship.

In a long distance relationship, you get to fall in love with someone’s personality. You get to fall in love with them on a soul level. You get to know them on a deeper level without sex clouding your judgement.

Long distance relationships teaches you about patience and delayed gratification. Two people’s souls should be on fire when they see each other. The only way for some and at least for me, is the distance. I’m a firm believer that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Most of my relationships have been long distance and it has been the greatest experiences of my life. I believe that when two people want to be together, although they are far apart and have their own life, that in order to make it work, that communication is key.

If you don’t like talking on the phone and you if you need someone there every day, then of course a long distance relationship is not going to work for you. But if you want love, you have to be willing to try something different. Ideal conventional ways do not always work.

With the way technology is today, you can Skype, FaceTime, text and talk on the phone. I choose the latter. There is nothing like hearing someone’s voice rather than a text message. If you can’t see that person in the flesh, the next best thing is to hear their voice.

Long distance relationships may not work for everyone, because you may want to see that person and touch them which is normal. Some people start thinking once they finally do meet, all the things that can go wrong. But what about all the things that can go right?!

The only thing that doesn’t make sense to me is, when you finally do meet someone and it still feels like you’re in a long distance relationship, especially if you live in the same state. Been there.. done that, not doing that again. I’ll let that marinate….

In order to make a long distance relationship work, you have to be an effective communicator. You have to not be afraid to be by yourself. I’m one of those women, since I’m introverted. I’m in no rush to be in love nor am I looking for someone to complete me, because I’m already complete and whole. Love takes time.

Long distance relationships works best for me, because I enjoy my space. I’m to much of a free spirit to be tied down on a daily basis. I’m not looking to settle down just yet. A relationship is a want not a need. A relationship does not define me and it’s separate from my being.

A relationship can only complement me and vice versa. A relationship should only add to your life, not take away from it. I tend to meet men that are creatives in some way. Those relationships work best for me, because they are busy. I don’t need to see someone every single day. Although keeping is contact is crucial.

You can’t not see someone and say I love you and you’re my woman (or man) and you haven’t seen or talked to them in months. But put a claim on them. Thats not a relationship. I know that they have a life and are living it and so am I. When we do get to spend time, we can catch up. Anticipating each other will make that passion come alive.

Most people they need someone there every day but truth is, it’s hard living with someone. My last relationship failed because we lived together. When he was in another state and we saw each other quite often it lasted longer. I never planned on living with him but he wanted to live with me.

I never planned on being his mother either and taking care of him, uugh yeahhh, lol. There is nothing wrong with wanting space in a relationship. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other, it just means that you want solitude. When someone is in your face every single day and you see them.

You lose that passion. You lose that spark. You start craving variety and spontaneity. Happens all the time. Yeah you may have met the guy or girl at the club, now you are wanting to go back there to get away from them. Just because you love someone, doesn’t mean you have to see them every single day.

If you do decide to live with someone, that person has to be so easy to love and be around that you can’t wait to come home to them. Their love will not feel like it’s smothering you. I’m not sure if I will ever live with a man again. I keep meeting needy and clingy men who want to dominate me and that’s not going to work for me.

I will fall out of love with you real quick. I need a man who doesn’t have too much time on his hands but makes time for his woman. Who wants to hear about my day and calls me to say good morning and goodnight. Someone who checks up on from time to time.

Long distance relationships and a person who has outside interest, is the best choice for me, because I don’t want to have to worry about things that normal couples have to worry about. I don’t have to check in with anyone and ask for permission indirectly when I want to go somewhere.

I get to focus on myself and building my life and sharing my life with someone but not solely depending on them for my every need. It would be nice to know that I have someone in my life who will take care of me, when I need it. But there is strength in being alone.

I can preserve my heart, body and soul for one individual most people can’t. A man will never have to worry about me cheating because he’s not around. I don’t crave physical connection as much as I crave a mental soul connection. There is no such things as to much space.

I’m perfectly fine with talking and being consistent. If you are a person who wants love and you have your own life. Try dating someone in another state. Be open because the love plan God has for you, may not appear the way you want it. Remember love is not possessing one another. Love is freedom and should happen organically.

It’s Ok To Admit You Want To Be In Love….

It’s ok to admit you want to be in love, God gave each and everyone of us the ability to love. It’s healthy to want love and to give love. When you do things out of love, out of passion, when someone makes it easy for you to love them it comes organically.

I’ve said It several times and I’m just going to keep on reiterating it….because some people just don’t get it…..love is not complicated people are. My first love we just wanted to love each other. We never had an argument, never disrespected each other, always made time for each other. The man lived in Atlanta and I saw him more times than someone who lives close to me.

We were best friends and although our lives took us in separate directions, the greatest most endearing compliment he gave me, was “I knew what to look for in my wife, because of the way you loved me”. I was happy for him, no jealousy, nothing.

The feeling was mutual. I know what I want in a man because of him and because I know who I am. Which is why I don’t date. I’ll know when he shows up. I’m not afraid to be alone and wait for true love. I know what good love feels like and I’m holding out for it.

I was never confused wondering how this man felt for me and how I felt for him. We said I love you and we showed it and felt it. He didn’t hold back on me on purpose and confuse me because he felt like it. He didn’t take my love or loyalty for granted. He was a man of his word and very consistent no matter how busy he was.

That’s because when two people know how to love, they don’t make it difficult. I was out shopping with a friend and I bought something for her that she didn’t expect it. It made me feel food the reaction she had, that I surprised her because we were both in the same store. It was nice to be able to give and do something for someone, knowing they would appreciate it.

In that moment I missed being able to have someone to be in love with, to buy things for. Just to see a smile on their face. I miss being able to cook for someone because I want to, not because they demand it. There are people out there who will appreciate your thoughtful gestures. People love to be around me, because I’m always doing something for them that they are not receiving at home.

They wished their spouse or significant other was as thoughtful. My friends joked and said can I clone you, but as a man, lol. Giving, receiving and loving is a two way street, remember that. I’m not ashamed to admit that I want to be in love and neither should you. We’ve all loved the wrong person at some point in our lives.. isn’t it time to love a good man or woman. I think so.

Until love comes, just continue to be you, do what brings your heart joy and know that God will complement your life with a beautiful love story ❤️

Don’t Fuck Up A Good Thing!

08ca2e27411eafa05828e868a96a1a3c.jpgSorry graphic language ahead……. The title of this post sounded funny in my head, but it’s true, men and women…. Don’t fuck up a good thing. If you know you have someone who is rare, who is passionate, who loves deeply and hard, someone who has your back. Why would you be stupid and fuck that up??

I don’t understand men who say they want a certain type of woman and then when she shows up. It’s too much. I think for me, most men are “in love with the idea of me” because when I’m live in the flesh, it’s like oh shit! That’s a lot of woman right there. What the hell am I going to do with all that??  Damn you mean I gotta work for that??

Don’t let me speak my mind, forget it, all of a sudden I’m sassy, I got an attitude and I’m argumentative. Truth is most men don’t know what to do with a woman like me… they don’t.. I know I’m A LOT. But in a good way, that’s because I’m passionate… I’m always hearing I’m too much and I’ll always be too much for a man who is not ready to step up and love me the way I need to be loved.

I’m not going to fall for any ol bullshit a man throws at me. It may sound nice and to think “oh wow, I want a woman who is this way, I want a loyal woman, I want a woman who cooks, who appreciates me. Who gives a damn about my feelings, who supports me. I mean who wouldn’t want the ideal perfect person? But what happens when a woman like that shows up?

Did you not think that you would have to put in some effort with this type of woman? Did you know think your words, would have to be followed up with some actions and accountability? Oh wait a minute, that’s too much work right??!!

Oh….. you thought she was just going to hand over her goods for nothing and that you didn’t have to put in time…oh my bad, you must have me mistaken for a 20-year-old. Men why don’t you try this… you know all that effort you put into loving, caring and doing for the wrong woman? Wining and dining and wooing her, all that romance.. Why don’t you try putting that same effort into loving the right woman.

Did a light bulb just go off?? I think it did…that sounds like a bright idea… doesn’t it??!! Rare people don’t stick around for very much long. Don’t confuse their patience with thinking you have time to get your shit together and that they’ll always be around.

8376eb3d70bb3a3be8c7b351d13708c8.jpgIf you have a good woman in your life, don’t mess it up and let her get away. I’m tired men contacting me years and years later trying to see if I’m single. Trying to bring me on TV because they realize they fucked up. Sorry, if I wasn’t good enough for you back then, then I’m not good enough for you now. Don’t try to see if we can have something now. Oh you ready to settle down now and not play games. You’re done sticking everything that has legs and a hole in it.

Ok you realize you were stupid, that’s nice. I’m glad you had an epiphany but it’s to late bro. See ya….I’m one of those women that if I choose, to have you in my life and it’s my choice, you should feel privilege. And this goes both way. I’m not above any one, I’m just above bullshit! I know me, I know a man can benefit from having a woman like me in his corner, as his friend and maybe his life partner.

I know myself…I know what I want… this is why I don’t date…no need for me to date multiple men to find the one. When he shows up, I’ll know….I know what I bring to the table… I don’t waste people’s time so I would appreciate if my time is not wasted. I’m a woman who’s not afraid to be alone. It would be nice to share my life with someone but don’t be an asshole.

Don’t tell me you appreciate my love, my loyalty or whatever I do for you and it’s just words. If you do, reciprocate, show me some love too, STOP TALKING SHIT! STOP WASTING MY TIME… don’t text it or email it in. Call me, let me hear you. Let me see you…What is the problem with showing how you feel?? I think people just express themselves how they feel comfortable.

I wish at times, we weren’t so glued to our devices. It makes it hard to decipher whats real. No tone, no voice. just words…We forget to make human contact. The same with affection. When one doesn’t show affection we feel neglected, like someone else is getting whats suppose to be ours.

If your significant other is not being intimate with you. Of course you’ll think there is someone else. All I know is that I’m a good woman and others know it too…I’m not perfect but I’m a good person. And that’s I strive to be, evolve, to work on myself and my life every day. but like I said if you know you have something good, don’t f**k it up!

In the words of Steve Harvey “there’s only one of you” A man may meet someone prettier, younger, someone who gives it up right away… who has money, but they will never be you. They will never have your light love and energy. You my darling deserve the best love there is in this world 🙂