Men Really Are Quite Simple

When it comes to men and women and how they think. Yes, there are some differences but when it comes to understanding men.

I find that men really are quite simple creatures. They really are not that hard to figure out. I’m not talking about simple as in just feeding them and having sex with them.

No, I’m talking about everything they do and everything they say. There are several keys to understanding a man. One of those keys is to listen. A man will tell you everything you really need to know, if you would just listen to him. Even if he is not direct just pay attention and be silent.

Know how to be observant and understand what he is not saying. Get out of your own way and don’t make it about you. How he feels is not about you all the time. It’s about him and he needs you to get that. When a man wants to be silent and relax, it’s not because of you. He just wants time to be alone to get into himself and hear his own thoughts.

Sometimes a man will be with a woman other than his S.O. (have an emotional affair or bond and attachment to another woman) because she allows him, to be himself and doesn’t try to change him. She doesn’t nag him or expect to much from him. Thats also the key to getting what you want, not expecting it or demanding it. Space is what he needs to access his thoughts.

A real man who needs space is just trying to evolve and be the best man he can be for himself and for you. I find that women are always blind-sided when a man does or says something. Thats because they are not paying attention. We’ve all been there. Sometimes for me, I’m oblivious to when a man is attracted to me because I’m not paying attention. My mind is elsewhere.

It’s only when I’m alone with my thoughts and I backtrack and revisit a conversation, I’m like ok, he told me what he wanted or hinted around to it and I completely missed it, lol. It happens. I’m also not thinking every man I meet wants me. Every time I explain to women what men are thinking and I’m right about something.

They always want to know, how do I know? Simple, I pay attention. Men are surprised too when I understand them. Now on the contrary some men don’t like it. I’ve had men tell me, I know too much or that I’m to deep, whatever the hell that means. Those are just selfish boys who want to run game and don’t want a woman with an evolved mind, to question them or their intentions.

I don’t think women should think like a man to understand a man. I don’t think it’s that serious. Women should act like a lady and think like a lady but understand a man. Not think  like him or seek to be on his level. Because guess what? You’re not a man. You’re a woman and you should act like one at all times. I don’t need to think like a man to understand a man.

When a man feels that a woman gets him. Several things may occur, he’ll either gravitate towards her or he’ll back away. But if he is intrigued and mentally stimulated, he’ll stick around in some way. When a man feels understood by a woman enough to let down his guard. It makes him more at ease to talk to her.

I notice that the men that do talk to me, they feel very misunderstood by society and the woman in their life. Half the shit that women think about and complain about, men are not even thinking about. When it comes to a mans wants and needs, men are really simple. It’s women who require more of think they do. Men don’t have a long list of what a woman should have but women do when it comes to men.

When a man wants to settle down, he just wants the basics which are simple. How many women pass up a good man because he doesn’t have a college degree or two or if he doesn’t make a certain amount of money. These good men get passed over all the time. Some women aim real high, they’ll go after a singers, entertainers or athletes.

They are not stupid. They know exactly what they are doing and who they want to get involved with. They are looking for what they think is long-term financial security. Thats why men in the industry really need to be careful, with the type of woman they get involved with. They have to be very cautious because they have so much more to risk.

Thats why when a man comes across a simple women, who makes it easy for him to just be a man. That man will try to hold on to that woman in some way. When a man takes a liking to a certain kind of woman whether he is single or not. Thats a red flag to a man, because it means that on some level, he is missing that with the woman he is with.

Being attractive and attracted are two totally different things. From my experience and interaction with men. I know that men avoid temptation depending on where they are at in life. They don’t want a woman throwing a money wrench into their life. Let me give you a few examples. When a man finds himself interacting with a woman by any means of communication.

Whether it’s texting, calling, emailing, social media, liking post, commenting. Something is going off in that mans mind that. He is seeking or something caught his attention. I know this because men have told me this and I am very observant. Men have also told me directly or indirectly that they are avoiding me. Men avoid women that they are attracted to. Especially if they are involved and they don’t want to fall into temptation.

Why else would a man avoid having great conversation with a woman or ignore her. Men avoid women they are attracted to in some way, because they don’t want to fall hard. Because when a man is really, really in love with a woman. He wants that love returned. Falling for a woman raises his insecurities in some way no matter how confident he may be or who he is. At the end of the day he is human and he is a man.

When a man falls, which he should really be ascending in love. Because love is supposed to lift you higher, not make you do crazy shit. Thats the down fall of love, not the ascending of love. When a man is in love, there is nothing that he will not do to make a woman happy. Men are not macho all the time, they are really simple and sensitive.

Real men, evolved men. They know their role in a woman’s life. They know that God called them forth to provide for a woman, not just monetarily but on all levels. Real men know that they are leaders. When it comes to relationships, I like the lyrical lines from the song “Do What I Gotta Do.” By Ralph Tresvant. When he says, “Any good relationship starts inside of happy man.

Now if you really pay attention to those words and let it marinate. You will understand exactly what he means. He is saying that men set the tone for a relationship. Now you may not agree and you don’t have to but it’s true. It’s not a sexist statement. It’s not that a woman doesn’t have a say, she does especially when it comes to what she wants and sex but men really set the tone in a relationship.

If a man is not happy, it will throw the whole relationship off. There will be chaos. There will be arguments. A woman will not want to love. It will be hard to love a man who is not happy. Now a woman will try to. We all see how a woman will try to love an unhappy man. It gets her nowhere but heartache and wasted time. She loses herself in the process. Thats because men are natural-born leaders.

When a man is happy with himself and he loves himself and he is evolved on some level, then the woman he is with will know how to respond to his masculine energy. When a man is happy in a relationship It allows a woman to be a woman and not to step into masculine energy. When a man is not being a man, a woman will point this out in one way. The same goes for a woman when she is acting like a man.

Now there are woman out there who understand, the difference between masculine and feminine energy and they have no problem being submissive to that. I see so many women trying to be the man in their relationship and they wonder why they are so unhappy. They wonder why they can’t get what they want, thats because men don’t respond well to a woman acting like a man. Thats his lane that he wants you to stay out of.

When it comes to sex, yes what man doesn’t desire sex, but I find that the majority of men, want a mental connection with a woman. They just do. A man can have sex with a woman who is beautiful and has a nice body but after that its like ok, what else is there to you? Some men do want a friendship with a woman.

On that level you get to know who she is before you make a life long commitment. I don’t think people realize how friendship is the foundation for any long-term relationship or marriage. They get it twisted thinking it’s sex and attraction and it’s not. Yes, be attracted to the person you’re with but that will not carry you long-term, just like material possessions.

When I’m around a man, I just like to chill and watch him do his thing. I don’t have to say or do anything. All I need to do is be peaceful and listen to him. Thats why men want to be around me. Thats why men want me around long-term because they sense my peace and my simplicity. I dated two guys who simply just wanted me around.

They would take me with them to work, they just wanted some positive energy around them. They wanted at the end of the day to have a home cooked meal. Quiet short conversation and for someone to appreciate them  and what they had to offer. One guy begged me to stay with him. I thought he was crazy but I did. He just wanted a loving woman around him. Someone to talk to.

He was busy all the time, working over time and he found a way to fit me into his schedule. He just wanted to look over and see me. He told me that he slept better because of me. I would catch him staring at me while I was reading and it dawned on me, that men want peace when it comes to a woman. We never argued.

On days I stayed home, he would come home to a nice home cooked meal and he loved the fact that I was selfless. Now a days it’s hard for a man to find that simplicity and peace in a woman. Peaceful simple women are out there and its rare because women today just want to much. That a man has to keep searching and searching. Same goes for women to find a good man.

Pretty much at the end of the day be a simple person. Be happy with who you are. Understand the basics of what you require when it comes to being with someone. Make sure that what you ask for you can give that and be that. Because when you think about it, you want someone who  doesn’t make your life complicated. You want someone who makes it easy for you to love them.

Posted in Men.

SongVersations: “Can You Stand The Rain?” By New Edition

I was listening to “Can You Stand The Rain” By the Iconic and Legendary R&B Group New Edition. From the moment the birds starts singing and the beats drops and Johnny Gill hits that riff, that’s gets deep into your soul.

You know, just by hearing the melody that you are about to be taken on a sweet melodic ride. This is one of those songs that can you play on repeat for hours.

There are so many different waves of emotions in this song. You’ll enjoy the music and melody but you will understand and feel the lyrics. Have you ever paid attention to the lyrics to this song? Like really paid attention?

What you hear is men expressing themselves. Being vulnerable. Saying I need you. I can’t do this alone. Yes I’m strong but I need the love of my woman. These kind of sentiments is missing from todays music and the hearts of men in society.

Luckily we still have artist like New Edition that still keep the magic and the love and romance alive. You don’t stick around for 30+ years for nothing. You gotta be doing something right. Thats because real men know how to get the hearts of women, with love and romance.

This song let’s you know that REAL MEN do feel. Real men do have emotions. This song poses a simple question… Can You Stand The Rain? Men want to know that when times get hard, will you be there by their side. Will you lift them up and take care of them the same way they take care of you.

Will you love them unconditionally no matter how much money or things they have. A man will be with a woman no matter how much money she makes or what she has, (some) women not so much so. Some women have a set figure on what a man should have in order to take care of her, which is sad and selfish.

A real man sees himself as a provider and protector of his woman and family and when a man can’t do that, his heart and pride is bruised. For a real man knows his role in a woman’s life and what God has called him forth to be. Whether you are an artist or just a regular blue collard hard-working man.

Every man wants to know that they have, the security of their significant other by their side. After dealing with the stresses of the world outside of their home. They need to come to a loving woman, who will make their house a home. They need a woman’s love to inspire them through difficulties. From an artist perspective, they are on the road performing and touring.

They won’t be able to see or talk to their significant other or even be with their family and they want to know, will you be there by their side when money fluctuates. Will you live with me in a studio apartment and not just a mansion. Can you weather the storm? Can you hold things down if I need you too.

“Love unconditional, I’m not asking just of you, we have to make it last, I’ll do whatever needs to be done” “When it’s tough she won’t run, she will always, be right there for me.” I’ll do my part but will you do your part? Will you trust me and us and what we have? Tell me, will you be there for me? 

It doesn’t matter whether these men sing or are in a group and ‘famous’. They are still human and men first. They still go through the same trials and tribulations that other men go through. Being in an iconic group, doesn’t mean that life does not happen to you.

Everyone wants to be around you, when things are good. When you are on top. When you have money. But what about when things fall apart. Thats when you really see who has your back. Every man wants unconditional love from his woman. They want her to stay when times get hard, not just be there for sunny days.

I hear from men all the time, how they don’t have the support and love from their woman or don’t feel appreciated unless its pay-day. Or they thought they had a supportive woman until they lost their job and they found out they were weathering a storm all by themselves.

These are good men who are doing everything, to make their lady happy, but when they fall on hard times, who’s going to be their rock. Who’s going to lift their spirit up and not make them feel less of a man and inadequate. A real man is not going to feel good about living off his woman.

This song is not just for men singing to the hearts of women. I find myself relating to these lyrics because I ask the same question when it comes to men. Can you stand the rain? Will you be there for me if I need you?

In my last relationship when the ship was sinking, when the storm got heavy and it started pouring rain. I found out the hard way I was alone. I had to rescue myself and make sure I didn’t drown although I saved him when his boat was sinking. He had me in ways that I never had him.

Until one day I punctured a hole in his boat and found out he could swim and take care of himself. Men have given to much in their previous relationships and now when they come across a good woman. They want to know whats she’s going to do for him first and they want a woman to give of herself first. I keep meeting these ass@*%$, lol..

Times and men are changing. Men are looking for women to have their own and be independent so they can just come in a have a free ride. Men want women to weather the storm. They’ll go M.I.A. on a woman if she needs him. When times get hard, they want her to pick up the sword and fight for them while they relax.

Why do men want woman to carry the relationship now a days? They want to see how strong a woman is built. They want her to step into masculine energy. If she can do it on her own, why does she need you? That’s not a real man.

A real man knows a woman can do it on her own, but a real man will not let her. Can you Stand the rain? I’m sure she can, but will you hold the umbrella for her and protect her?

Whatever happen to being each others rock. Isn’t that the whole purpose of being in someone’s life. Isn’t that the purpose of loving someone unconditionally? What’s up with these one-sided relationships and self-entitlement? Thats not love. Thats self-centered narcissism.

Love is freedom. Love is all-knowing and seeing. It should happen organically. Love is protective and being there for each other in good times and bad times. We shouldn’t let each other drown. When you say you love someone….show it.

“Storms will come, this we know for sure…I know all the days won’t be perfect” but there is no pressure.” The next time you decide to open your heart to love, ask for what you need and want. Ask, can you stand the rain? If the answer is yes and you see it in their actions, then you will know you got a good one. Then you can say, “Come on baby, let’s go get wet.”

Just Because They Couldn’t Love You, Doesn’t Mean You Aren’t Loveable

img_0519Let me ask you something, when was the last time you looked yourself in the mirror and knew that you were lovable? That you knew you are a beautiful spirit that deserved the utmost love and respect.

That you deserve the kind of love that makes you feel like you are floating on cloud 9. The kind of love that you know you want, that kind of love that makes you want to be a better person.

I get so tired of people thinking that just because the man or woman they loved, that didn’t have the courage to love them back, thinking that they are not lovable. They think that out of all the people on this planet, that that’s the only person who is ever going to love them or that they want love from.

Incase no one has told you, you are lovable. I get it… when our heart wants what it wants it just does. It hard to accept the reality that some people don’t know how to love. Some people are not ready for love. Don’t fret. Do yourself a favor and be glad, they are not loving you. Their half-ass love wasn’t meant for you, because you are not a half-ass person.

They are just clearing room for Mr. and Mrs. Right to come into your life. You know the kind of love you deserve. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in some ones life and to love you. I don’t know how many times I can say this over and over.

Love is not complicated people are. Relationships are not hard. People make them difficult.

I know unrequited love hurts. It does. We’ve all been there. We express ourself to some one and we use the word LOVE, because we actually mean it, but then the other person kills us with their silence an inaction. I know I’m tired of men telling me they love me and being emotionally unavailable.

I’m tired of men saying they love me, when they haven’t even seen me in person or talked to me in days or months. Some people are in love with the idea of you. They are infatuated. I don’t play with the world love. When I say I love you, I mean it and I back it up. Men not so much so now a days.

The men that tell me they love me after a couple of hours, days or months haven’t really spent any time with me to love me. They are just using the word love to attempt to get what they want. I never believe them. I’m like ok, you used this word, now show it. Then they can’t. They ghost or they forgot they had a wife or girlfriend or kids. It just sounds nice to say in the moment.

Some people expect you to know they love you, when they don’t call you, speak to you, don’t make any effort to see you. Your communication is met with silence. They never want to address your emotions or anything you want to talk about, but yet they claim to love you. When you love someone you communicate. You express yourself. You listen with an open heart.

This can’t be the new love.

When you love someone, you show it. You see them, you talk to them. You make your presence known. You can’t be like….”I’m going to show her how much I love her by not talking to her, ignoring her, not seeing her and giving her any attention or putting in any effort, but I still want her to think we have something and that we’re more than friends.” Really?! Is this the new love??

This is what men are doing now and I’m not really feeling them on this. I don’t have to settle and neither should you. This is why I don’t date. I know that I’m lovable. I know that when I do decide to be in a relationship. I’m going to make some man very happy, because I know how to love. I’m cognizant of why I want to complement someones life and it’s not for selfish reasons.

People who say I love you and don’t show it, they are probably used to saying that word so many times and getting what they want. Some people are in love with the idea of love, then they realize oh shit!! Love is a verb? “Damn, I said I love this man or woman, now I have to show it?” I never knew that was part of love.” Well…. news flash it is!!!!

Don’t let someone who toys with your emotions and heart, that strings you along then doesn’t have the courage to man or woman up and tell you, that there is no you and them. Make you feel like you are not lovable. You had the courage to open your heart, they didn’t. It was easier for them to ghost and ignore you, because they weren’t courageous for the passion that burned deeply inside of you.

You Don’t Get To Walk Away, Every Time You Feel Something

We all know someone that every time they start to feel something, they suppress it. They don’t want to acknowledge how they feel in any way.

Well you know what… it’s time to put an end to that BULLSHIT!

You need to stop running. You don’t get to walk to walk away every time you feel something.

No matter how little or intense, acknowledge how you feel, admit it to yourself first.

If you have feelings for someone, acknowledge it. Why every time you start to feel, you start to walk away. You disappear.

Stop being a coward and feel what you are feeling. Stop deflecting your behavior and putting it on someone else just because you do not want to deal.

You don’t get to confuse someone and lead them on, just because you are not sure of what you want.

You don’t get to not acknowledge how someone else feels, when they are asking you a question and they want to know whats in your heart.

Oh but I see, you ignore because that way you don’t have to deal and you get to string things along. Keep doing that to a good a woman, she’s not going to stick around.

But I guess that’s what you want and don’t want. Hell… you don’t even know.

You know you don’t want rejection, you say it’s cool but deep down, you want what you want and want to control the outcome.

When things don’t work out, you say to yourself,  “I knew it. I was right all along.” You find fault in everything, every word, every action just to coincide with what you are thinking and feeling.

What? You think you don’t deserve love. You think you don’t need nobody?

Didn’t you love the wrong women? How did that turn out? Oh you stayed, you gave your all.

That pain and hurt and everything they put you through, your spirit became immune to it and you called that love.

You don’t get to use the word love and do the opposite of it. If someone you know loves you and wants to be with you. Don’t push that person away.

Man the fuck up and stop running from the very thing, that you say you want the most.

Stop hiding behind email, text and the phone. Stop ghosting!

You’re not that busy, you’re scared and you’re hiding.

Stop doing shit to other people that you clearly do not want done to yourself.

Stop not listening to your heart. Stop pushing people away and not listening to them.

Have the courage to say what you want and need from the people in your life.

Learn how to recognize love and pain. Don’t confuse the two because love does not hurt nor will it ever.

If you believe in your heart, that you have a shot at it, don’t fuck up a good thing. This goes for both men and women.

If it doesn’t work out, then that love was not meant for you. Stop breaking your own heart and deflecting blame.

Stop being such a narcissist and leading women on, when you clearly don’t have any plans on staying. Sweet nothings, means nothing.

For god sake, stop walking away every time you feel something and those feelings are good.

You’re human, don’t you think you think you deserve love?

Don’t you think you deserve to be happy? The answer should be yes.

Stop thinking every one is out to get you and hurt you.

Stop being an asshole. Stop ruining things before they even start.

You don’t get to play with someone emotions and use the word love and not mean it. When you say you love someone, stand behind your word.

Stop not being a man of your word. Stop being so short, deflective, cold. Aren’t you tired of that?

Stop blaming the other person when you don’t get the love you want. The problem is not them. It’s you. You’re the one who has your guard up. You’re the one who’s inconsistent and silent.

Isn’t time you start to be open to the love you truly desire? Why is it so hard for you to be vulnerable. Thats where your strength lies.

Don’t you want a love that brings out the best in you? Don’t you want loyalty, honesty, respect?

A woman whose a woman of her word, that’s consistent. Trustworthy, that has your back. Thats passionate, protective, thoughtful, kind. A woman who never makes you feel alone.

Well in order for you to have those things, you must be all of that. Don’t ask of what you can not give of yourself and feel entitled.

Lose your ego if you want love.

When you feel, deal…. knowing that love will heal.

But please do yourself a favor, stop walking away every time you feel something.

11 Men On How They Feel About Friendship With A Woman

When it comes to freindship with men. All men are not the same, I know it’s difficult for some men, but I had to ask some of my male readers, on what it’s like to really be friends with a woman they are attracted to. I was shocked by some of their answers because the men I meet, they act like it’s difficult, like they have to f**k you right then in there or else they are going to die.

I say…theres always your hand if it gets that bad, LOL. Ok maybe that wasn’t funny (was to me, lol haaa haa). I have lost some good people in my life based off attraction and sex. I never knew it was that deep or bad… but for some it is. Anyway here are there responses. Answers like this really make me rethink the male species, LOL.

1- Mel – “I can’t speak for all men, but for me, I was raised different. I have 5 sisters and 2 brothers and  my dad raised us to respect women and not look at them as sexual objects. My parents have been married for 35 years. Yes when a man sees a beautiful woman, your mind wonders but that’s not all there is to a woman. I learned the hard way, what glitters isn’t always gold. I’ve met beautiful woman with bad attitudes and they are so materialistic. Then I’ve met women that are so-called average looking, but their heart is what makes them beautiful. I’m married now and my wife is my best friend. I don’t know what I do without her. She inspires me, has my back. She made me want to be a better man, she challenged me. She’s simple, doesn’t ask for much and that’s makes me want to do more for her, because she deserves it. I’m glad we both waited to be intimate and we were friends. I learned a lot about her as a person, that had I jumped in the sack real quick, I would have missed. She told me she was saving herself and I had to respect that. What man wouldn’t. I knew she was the one and married her quick. 11 Years later, still going strong and with 2 beautiful girls.”

2. Larry-“If a man is looking to play around, of course he would have a problem with being friends with a woman. When a man sees a beautiful woman, of course he’s thinking about how quick he can get her into bed. Some of us have all been there, even the most respectful men. But it comes a point in time when you have to grow up and be a man. You can’t be a player forever. I find that being friends with a woman, you learn a lot about what they want and don’t want and sometimes its the same thing we want. But as men we rush but if we take our time. We’ll get what we want them. The friend zone is not that bad.”

3. Mike- “I landed my wife by having female friends. My female friends looked out for me, gave me great advice, told me what women to look out for. Of course they were attractive but I wasnt attracted to them. Big difference. Not every girl is F***able. If she gives it away to quick. I’ll question that, like who else is she giving it too. Not only that there are STDs out there and the guys I know have had some, glad it was curable but I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes for nothing. I can control myself. Sex is great but anybody can do that.”

4. Jackson- “I don’t think its hard being friends with a woman at all. I love a virtuous woman and a woman who has a mind. I’m looking to settle down and if I’m friends with a woman. I’ll find out if she is the one for me. If not on to the next. Believe it or not. Not all men are dogs, just like all women are not h**s or materialistic. There are still some good guys out there that respect a woman for more than her body. You just gotta search for us, we are out there.”

5. Jose- “Being friends with an attractive woman is hard. I’ll admit I stopped talking to a friend of mine because she didn’t feel the same way. This woman was perfect, wife material and everything. Super sweet and thoughtful, funny, nice personality. But she didn’t see me the same way I saw her, so I had to slowly distance myself from her. We became strangers. It was hard to have normal conversations. What some women don’t realize is that’s torture for a man. I’m not saying it can’t be done, but it takes a lot of will power.”

6. Ethan- “I don’t keep women as friends for to long, because sometimes you stay in the friend zone and it’s hard to get out. Then the attraction makes things weird. You can’t flirt, you can’t hang out because if youre attracted to them, you don’t want to risk losing them by sleeping with them. So it’s a tricky situation. I wouldn’t suggest it to long.”

7. Anthony- “I’m not going to say it’s easy but it is doable. For me I knew my wife (then friend) by mutual friends. I knew she was the one I wanted to marry, we had a lot in common. I think that’s what most men are afraid of, they figure it will take time to get to know a woman and they want to test drive her first. Then see if they have anything else in common. Love making can be worked on, you can try new things and even teach each other some stuff. Men in our culture are taught, have as many women as you can. It’s depends on how a man is raised. Friends with a woman is really not that hard.”

8. John- “I’ll be friends with a woman because I respect women, but at some point I would like to date her and see if we have anything in common. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I can control my urges. In the past women wanted to be with me, because I didn’t rush them. I find that that’s the key sometimes. Be patient and when you wait it’s worth it. Theses women rocked my world, so I’m glad I waited for them to make the first move.”

9. Giacomo- I married my best friend. Without friendship, what do you have. If you marry your friend, when things get dry and times get hard. You have to remember the love you once had and turn back to that friendship.

10. Jerome- “It’s hard maybe because I’m young. If a woman is not attractive yeah it lessons it, but if she is super fine, that’s hard. Women just don’t get it because they are not a man. I can’t keep women as friends, because I want to have sex with them sooner or later. Just being honest. I’ll distance myself if it becomes to much. Like I said maybe it’s because I’m young.”

11. Michael- “It all depends on what she has going on in her life. I’m old school 45. I have to make sure if I even want to be with her. I don’t want my time wasted nor do I want to waste a womans time. I can get sex from a woman whos willing to put out but I don’t want that. I’m a very successful man and I have to make sure, if this is the woman I want to settle down with and have children with. I’m not into rushing, to many men rush and this is why the divorce rate is so high and there are so many unwanted children. There are still men out here, who want to do the right thing, the way God intended. I’m not trying to be a baby daddy. I want a wife and a partner to build something with. The slower we take it, the better getting to know one another. Sooner or later, people’s true colors will be revealed.”

There you have it ladies. There are some good men out there who don’t mind being friends with a woman. Remember just because people want different things, doesn’t make them wrong or a bad person. People want what they want. You don’t have to be the person who gives them what they want. You are in control in what you accept and don’t accept. In your quest for love remember, there are no perfect people, but two people can be perfect for each other :).

God is Love. Believe in Love and Friendship! Namaste! 🙂

Relationship Advice For Noble Men

To all the good noble men out there, take a moment to listen to the advice I’m about to give you. Make sure you really take heed to what I’m about to say, because to be honest I’m tired of good men being taken advantage of by these selfish women.

I get flooded with emails from men who are being taken advantage of and it truly hurts my spirit, that you good men are going through this, because I’m a good woman and I’m tired of the back lash from men being so badly burned, that when they come across a good woman, they can’t even recognized the real from the fake.

Im tired of men putting me through the ringer when all I’m trying to do is be a friend, be supportive, show and give love, but I can’t get through to your wounded heart. I’m tired of good men shutting down, which causes a ripple effect for the woman to shut down. I’m tired of good men turning into bad men.

Men….. a good woman, who knows her role as your wife, as the mother of your child, as a woman of God,….needs you as her leader, her provider, her protector. A good woman, will not have a problem with you being the head of the your home, of your union and your partnership. That’s what God called you forth to be.

A woman who knows her role in your relationship, is going to see you as her equal as far as being one, but will not seek to be the man in your relationship. A woman who is confident, will not mind you taking the lead because she knows that, by you leading she gets to be a lady.

Men you know what you really need to friends with a woman, that’s right I used the ‘F’ word. Be friends with a woman. I know you don’t like it. I know you think with your other head, but you gotta stop it! Seriously…… you gotta stop being blinded-sided by every beautiful woman you meet.

You gotta stop rushing to get a woman in bed….In the friend zone there are perks. If you see the potential for there to be more with a woman. You gotta be her friend first. In the friend state, that will show you and teach everything you need to know…

Men it’s all about your approach, if you are seeking a life partner, if you are friends with a woman, you’ll see if she’s the one. If you want to find out how domesticated she is, don’t date her at first, don’t sleep with her. Be her friend. See how she keeps her house. See how self-sufficient she is.

If you want to be invited to her home, don’t come as a man who’s lusting after her. If you are keep it to yourself. We know sex crosses your mind. No need to make it so obvious. Be genuine. Go over as her friend. Don’t be her friend to get in her pants. Really take time to get to know her. Stop getting blindsided by sex or a beautiful face and body.

Stop doing to many things to impress a woman and just be your plain simple selves. A woman like me or any other woman can tell when you are doing too much. Just relax. I had to tell someone I was friends with, this is how you impress a woman. I’m still mad he spent $200-$300 on a woman he didn’t love or just met.

Don’t do stupid shit like that, lol. You do that’s on a first date, she’s going to look at you like an ATM and expect you to keep that up. Not only that, you’ll feel used especially if she’s not giving you anything in return. Courting doesn’t have to be expensive. Offer a woman what’s in your heart, not whats in your pants or your wallet.

Men I understand you dated some bad women, gave your heart to the wrong one, spent money on the wrong woman. But don’t make a good woman pay for your indiscretions. A woman wants consistency and you have to give her that. The same way you love the wrong woman, do that for a good woman.

Know when you have a Queen in front of you. Don’t test her for no reason. If you do, soon she’ll walk away. A good woman that’s ready for love, does not have time to play games. If you are not sure of what you want. Let her go.

Men please stop trying to play catch up when you meet a good woman by rushing. I lost track of every guy I’ve met, who didn’t get what they wanted with the last woman, and now they feel they are running out of time and want to move things along so quick.

Living together, marriage and a family takes time. These are not things you rush into. Men please be a man of your word. Don’t string a good woman along and play with her heart or waste her time. You didn’t do it to the last one, who was wrong for you, so don’t do it to a good one.

I really do want you good men to find love and to be happy. Especially if you are doing the right thing. But you have to be friends with a woman first and be patient. If you want to be appreciated by a good woman, you have to take your time. Soon before you know it, the king will have his queen.

Good men, please don’t be afraid to be single and wait for the one. She’s out there and she will give you the love you deserve. Please, when you meet this woman, do not make her fight for a space in your heart and in your life. Recognize that she is rare. That there is only one of her.

Don’t confuse her or send her mix signals, no one is a mind reader. Please be a man of your word. Pick up the phone, call her, put in effort, make plans, see her. Show her you want to be with her. Don’t give her  your silence and be busy all the time and expect her to know that you love her and appreciate her by being M.I.A.

Don’t say ‘I love you” if you can’t back it up and don’t mean it. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and talk to her and share whats in your heart. Be emotionally available. Talk things out. Just know that there are good women out there, who are looking for the same thing you are looking for. True love does exist but Patience is a virtue!

Posted in Men.

Ok God I Get It….Men Can’t Be Friends With A Woman

You know I’m the kind of woman who believes, friendship is the foundation for a long-lasting relationship. But it seems likes in this day and age it really is hard for some men. The things that have been happening to me lately for the past few years with men, really don’t make any sense. It really doesn’t. I’m tired of men abusing my trust.

The stuff men do to me and I’m not even dating them is ridiculous. Men never stop to think, am I making this woman feel uncomfortable. I shouldn’t have to feel uncomfortable, every time I step outside my door that some man is lurking around my house, trying to see if I’m with another man. Friends don’t do this to friends, but I see some men have trust issues when it comes to women.

I really, for the life of me, can’t understand why this is so difficult. I’m tired of men saying oh we can be friends, when there is a hidden agenda usually they want sex, of they’ll make time for that and flirting. I’m like ok God, I get it! When you don’t want to see something, God will continue to show you the same thing over and over until you get it.

A friend of mine said to me, “I don’t understand why would any guy miss out on an opportunity to be with a good beautiful woman such as yourself, you’re like perfect” that compliment was nice but it made me sad. The answer is simple, some men are stupid and assholes, LOL. They don’t know any better, it’s not their fault. They just don’t think.

I’m not saying some men can’t really get to know a woman, I’m just saying it’s hard for some men. I can see why the men I’ve met don’t have female friends. Thats because they don’t know how, to be a friend to a woman without thinking about sex all the time or without rushing. It’s crazy how their mind is at the altar after one day of being around me.

Remember when I wrote that I’m taking control of my love life in 2017…well scratch that….I’m not doing anything. I keep running into the same thing over and over again and I’m not even trying. I’m tired of possessive, controlling men, making it difficult to be friends, talk, hang out and have friendly conversation. I’m tired of men stalking me, men with issues and men that are emotionally unavailable.

I’m so tired of men trying to confuse me and send me mixed signals, men trying to string me along. I’m tired of being uncomfortable with men because they don’t know how to love. With the crazy shit I’ve been dealing with, I know God is trying to tell me to be alone and I am, “when people show you who they are believe them” no matter how much good you try to see in them. Being friends should not be difficult.

I’m a simple woman, don’t ask for much and the B.S. will not stop. But it will now, 2017 is almost here and I’m just really want to be alone. I know people say oh don’t let a few bad ones ruin anything… I’m not I just don’t have the time nor the patience. I’m to grown for this shit. I’m tired of men making me feel like I’m negative, because I question their behavior and want them to stop playing games.

What kind of “friend” just pops up at someone’s house and looks around and tries to see what I have going on. I’m not trying to be anything more with this person. I’m turned off and I’m tired. I’m not looking for anything. But a phone call and simple shit is too much to ask for. Apparently one must not be that busy to be popping up at my house unannounced.

This is the B.S that comes my way for no reason, when I’m a good woman and I get the shit treatment from men, then when I say something I’m attacking someone and I’m negative. Every woman has a right to know what a mans intention is. Whats his plans are for her. This is exactly why I’m celibate and proud of it because this is some B.S. I’m experiencing.

I relocated to start my life over and get away from negativity and now I’m dealing with it over here. Well it ends right now, because this is not love on a friendship level or even for a romantic one. All the things that I thought would be possible it’s null and void. I’m done trying to be a friend, when it’s obvious that I’m the only trying. It is what it is.

It would have been nice to share my life with someone, have some companionship now and then but I see that’s not possible with any man I meet. So God if you want me to be alone, fine, I been alone all this time, you have been keeping me and I see it’s for a good reason. I’m not looking for love, but I’ll just let you do your thing and write me a beautiful love story!