Held Captive By Music

Music knows it’s held me captive and it has no plans of letting me go now

Music knows the way I feel as soon as I hear that beat drop

It senses my energy and invites me into its world

With music there is no judgement, I can just let go and be myself

Music has me under its complete spell 

I obey music with my mind, spirit and body 

I reach for music all day, every day…. in the middle of the night

Feenin, hungry, thirsty needing that next fix, that next melody and lyric

I need music’s conversation for I feel it’s the only thing that understands me

Music knows I’m an addict, that I try to find ways to have the voice and lyrics inside of me

I want it so bad, I want to drink it and taste it, inject it, cover my body with it

Music can have its way with me at anytime or any place

Music understands me and wants me to be a slave to it

Music knows that I will take on the artist spirit and feel what the artist feel

I can be free, naked and totally uninhibited with music

Music hits all of my erogenous zones and makes my body feel intoxicated

Music loves touching every part my body. Seeing it’s notes on my body like a music sheet

Wondering which part of my body it’s going to play with next

Music loves penetrating the portal of life and playing with my love button

That vibrating sensation is just what music wants

Music loves to take me there even if it’s just for a moment of release

Music knows I never want to let it go and it doesn’t want me to

Music loves to undress me and wishes it had lips so it could kiss me

And taste every part of my body with its lyrics and melody

Music traces it’s lyrics on my skin like braille

When I get high with music, music is very pleased for it knows

It has done its job of bringing me to ecstasy

Music knows I’m addicted but music says, its ok be free because it’s a safe kind of high.

Music loves when I feel sensual and sexy, for it enjoys pleasing me

And knows that I’m in-tuned with its melodies

Music enjoys tantalizing me, it enjoys my sexy moans,

The way my body moves to it’s rhythm, to the instruments

Music smiles for music is very pleased with my reaction

Music sees the lyrics, passion and fire in my eyes reaching to the depths of my soul

Music loves when I repeat certain parts of a song

Then music feels my body pulsate with anticipation of its next melody

Music enjoys the anticipation of my mental climax, for it know my body will follow

Music loves to take my breath away and breathe the lyrics back inside of me

Giving me life over and over again, knowing it’s the only resuscitation I need

Music wants me to always be held captive under its spell

And I want to for as long as I can breathe music in my lungs

But music knows the day will come, when it will have to share me

When it will lead me to another music lover, that can take over

So that I can experience the human part of music’s ecstasy

Music wonders who will this music lover be? I wonder too?

Music will not just hand me over to anybody, music will be very selective 

When choosing to hand me over to another music lover and so will I 

Music knows they must be just as passionate, they have to want to be high

They can’t get jealous of the way music makes me feel

They can’t censor me or music will take me back and keep me to itself

Becoming possessive over me and never wanting to let me go again

Music is selfish and I understand because we get each other

Our love affair is deep and it will another etherial soul to get how music makes me feel

Music knows that not everybody gets music, nobody everybody feels the way I feel

That my ecstasy is rare and doesn’t want to let it go

Music is a bit jealous to let me go, but knows its inevitable

But music knows it will forever dwell in my spirit

While silently sharing me with a new love

SongVersations: “Your Touch” By Ralph Tresvant

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/its-goin-down/id2699933In the middle of the of night. I woke up to my favorite artist voice singing in my ear. The sensual peaceful sounds of  Mr. Ralph Tresvant singing “Your Touch”,

“I’ll be waiting for your touch. Nothing’s quite the same as when we touch. Love me with your magic touch. I’ll be right here baby by your side. I’ll be waiting for your touch. Nothing’s quite the same as when we touch.

Love me with your magic touch. Love me with your magic touch. Magic touch. Touch me. Never thought it be so easy to fall in love, but when you smile, I feel the difference in your touch. And loving you is so easy, you stolen my heart. In your eyes make all the difference, in your touch.”

Every time when Ralph says those two words “Touch Me“. That whisper calms my spirit as those words flow throughout my body. I feel his music touching me. I find myself rewinding that part over and over again. Letting those words and the sound of his masculine voice, how angelic, loving and peaceful it is, get infused into my soul and my subconscious.

It feels like ecstasy. It makes me feel like a beautiful woman. I laid there in bed and just took in the music. It was peaceful and relaxing. It was simple. I thought for a moment how nice, it would be to have a lover, that I could reach for in the middle of the night to hold me. To make love to me. Someone to make me feel like a sensual woman.

Someone who I can have the first thing in the morning, before I have breakfast and before I start my day. A sweet endearing kiss on my forehead and warm embrace. Someone who makes me forget about my past pain. Someone who is gentle with my love. Someone to make me feel safe and protected. Someone who can be my peace and I can be their peace.

Listening to this song when he says “loving you is so easy.” Those lyrics remind me of myself and my first love. It was just easy for him to love me and for me to love him. Two simples souls who never pressured each other and just thought to themselves. How can make you happy because I love to see you smile.

Love shouldn’t be difficult. I don’t know why people keep thinking it should be. Maybe because they are used to pain. Someone shouldn’t make it difficult for you to love them. They should make it easy. When it comes to love or being with someone, it’s either you want to be with that person or not. It’s not difficult. But I’m not looking for perfect, I’m looking for honest and real.

As I lay there in bed, the sun begin to rise, I heard the birds singing outside my window, it made me smile and in that moment. I thought I was going to hear that beat drop and hear  “Can you stand the rain” By New Edition.” Classic songs like that always remind me of home. Music is what love sounds and feels like.

As I take a trip down memory lane as a child being at home with my mom. When things used to be so simple and quiet. I find myself craving more and more of it each day. I know that anyone who threatens and disturbs my peace, is not meant for me to love or be around. As I am very sensitive to negative frequencies.

People ask me all the time, why are you single? They don’t get it. I would be a rich woman, as many times as I’ve been asked that, lol. I’m told “you’re so peaceful. You’re so nice.” I don’t understand why you don’t have a man, that’s loving you and giving you everything you want.” Well I say, it’s not really about what I want first.

What good is wanting something, if it’s not coming from someone you want to be with, love or someone who loves you back. It’s about what I need first, my wants will come later. What I want is peace and quiet. What I don’t need and don’t want is someone disturbing my peace of mind. I want someone who is just as quiet and simple as I am.

Someone who appreciates the little and simple things in life. Someone who enjoys being in the moment. I want someone who revels in my peaceful calm spirit as I revel in theirs.  Someone who hears what I don’t say and is thoughtful and kind. Someone who looks at me and in their eyes alone, I can see into their soul and know that they love me.

I want a magical touch, a touch that I can feel the passion and desire emitting, from the depths of their soul to their finger tips, when they touch me and when they kiss me. Someone I can’t wait to crave and breathe in the way I need air. Someone who’s love is untainted by a previous lover.

Someone who allowed their heart and spirit to heal, so they can be open and free to love again. I want someone to love me with their magic touch. I’ll be waiting….. I’m patiently waiting for it. Is it too much to ask for? No…not all 🙂 .

SongVersations: “Never Noticed” By Ralph Tresvant

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/rizz-wa-faire/id157081843“Oh, where did you go?
Why did you leave?
No chance to say goodbye
And let’s be honest

Ever since you went away
Living hasn’t been the same
Missing you and wanting you back here with me

Heaven knows how far I’ll go
I know its not logical to be with you But if I could, I would

Never noticed how much I loved you. Until the day you said goodbye for good. If I knew what I know now my love. I’m just thinking bout it”

Words beautifully sung by Ralph Tresvant. When you listen to these lyrics, it makes you wonder about the person you loved, that suddenly walked out on you and never gave you an answer as to why. It’s hits you when you are alone. You start thinking about it. You ask yourself what happened? What didn’t I see?

Why did you leave? I never got a chance to say good-bye. Why didn’t you talk to me and let me know you were unhappy, or maybe they did and you just didn’t pay attention. There are always signs in a relationship that your significant other, is not happy but are you paying attention?

Sometimes it so easy to get caught up in our careers, that we neglect the one we love. The one that held us down. Material possessions can’t hold us at night. At the end of the day, we want someone to love and hold us and to just be there. To just be a friend.

You start thinking of your long-lost love and your heart aches, for that person to be back in your life. You know that if you could just get a second chance, that you can love them better. That you are changed man or woman. When I hear these lyrics It makes feel like someone’s love was taken for granted.

Maybe this woman just couldn’t deal with his life and how busy he is. Why else would she just pick up and leave without any explanation. Or maybe she fell in love with someone else. Now he’s sitting there missing her, wanting her back in his life. When he says “It was you, It was you.” Maybe he felt that she was always it for him.

That the mistakes he made, by not showing her how much, he loved and cared for her. That if he did maybe she would have stayed had she not felt neglected. Or maybe he loved her to much, gave her everything she wanted and still it wasn’t enough for her. Some times the more you love and give to a person, they take you for granted.

As the song plays it reminds me of the men I’ve dated and not dated. That claim I’m the one that got away. Now they are alone, missing me, wanting me back. They never realized how much they loved me, until I ended it. But when they had me, they took my love for granted. They keep wondering how their life would have turned out, if they just knew how to love woman like me. They want a second chance.

Why is it that when someone walks out of our life, we never notice how much they meant to us while they were in our life? Why does it takes someone absence to appreciated their presence? Some times we really do love that person, but we never notice how much until they are gone. When were alone with our thoughts it hits us.

Damn! I let the best thing I had slip away from me. We start feeling like a fool. The thoughts of the person we miss invaded our heart and spirit. We hear their voice, we want them near and we think, If only I can get a second chance. Life may or may not grant us with a second chance. But in life there are no do overs. We just have to live with the pain.

If we knew what we know now, we wouldn’t have made the mistake in the first place. Everyone we meet that walks in and out of our life. Is there to teach us a lesson, about love. They are there to help us grow and evolve. Hopefully we’ll know better next time, not to make the same mistake twice with a new love. We’ll recognize the rare spirit of love in front of us, next time around.

Inside The Ride With Ralph Tresvant, On WZBR 1410 AM, The Bass Of Boston

I just found out one of my favorite singers since I was a child, has launched his own radio show. So I had to show him some love. Yes, The Bass Of Boston has a new DJ. Boston’s Finest…..

Yours truly the one and only, legendary lead singer, Mr. Ralph Tresvant From the Iconic Legendary R&B Group New Edition.

This is such a breath of fresh air because I don’t listen to the radio nor do I own a radio. I stopped listening to the radio when music started changing towards the early 2000s.

Music has changed so much and for some of us that are still old school. We love to hear our classic jams from back in day. We get to relive those memories and remember when music was really good, when music meant something and spoke to your heart and soul. The 90s was definitely the best era in music.

I really wish that music did not change. Because when it comes to good music and classics, there is no expiration date. But in the music industry there is. Artist from back in the day should still be dominating the airwaves. So for those of us who appreciate good music. We get to enjoy it with artist who are cut from a different cloth.

I tuned in this week and I enjoyed being Inside The Ride. Every day has a different theme. There’s Mantra Mondays, throwback Thursday’s. Make sure you tune in for Freaky Fridays, that’s when it’s adult time :). Ralph is spinning classics that make you remember, what love and romance is all about, which is hard to find on the radio now a days.

If you love classics old and new from back in the day with a mix of some new music. You will enjoy being Inside The Ride with Ralph Tresvant. He’s personable, engaging, funny. He keeps it sexy and smooth. He loves his fans and I’m so happy that, The Bass Of Boston has him on their line-up.

Make sure you tune in Monday thru Friday, from 4pm to 7pm EST. On your way home from work during rush hour. Don’t have a radio? No problem! No need to fret. You can listen online and you can download The Bass APP  on iTunes and Google Play. Have a request.. call in 617-238-7111

So there you have it! There’s no excuse :). Make sure you tune in and tell a friend and have that friend tell a friend. Spread the word and don’t miss the ride!!! It’s Going Down on WZBR 1410 AM, The Bass of Boston with Ralph Tresvant, A.K.A DJ Iron Crates.

**Be sure to follow Ralph on Social media and join the fan club on Facebook and Twitter**

SongVersations: “Do What I Gotta Do” By Ralph Tresvant

Do you remember this timeless classic ballad,”Do What I Gotta Do” sung by the iconic and legendary lead singer of New Edition. Mr. Ralph Tresvant.

Breakups, they can get messy. How do you tell someone who you love and care for, that you want to be alone?

It’s not easy letting someone go, no matter how much you love them. It’s something you debate over and over in your mind. Should I? Shouldn’t I?

But deep down inside, you know you gotta do what you gotta do. What’s the best way to let someone down gently. Truth is there is no way to let them down gently. Either way it’s going to hurt you or the other person and no one likes to break someone else’s heart especially when they  still care.

When this song first came out, I remember the first time I heard it. It was May 11th 1991. I looked at the clock and it turned 5:16. My mom was in the kitchen cooking. She had the radio on 98.7. I heard this beautiful harmony coming from the radio and I just stood there…wondering who was that?

I turned the volume up and got lost in the music. I said is that Ralph Tresvant but wasn’t sure, until it went off and they announced his name. I had to have that album right then and there. Which my mom got for me. I thought it was a beautiful sad love song.

I knew it was a song about heart-break and understood the lyrics, I just thought it was beautifully put into song. I immediately got a visual and wanted to see the video. I didn’t really know the significance of the song until I was in my teens and into my adulthood. Thats when the lyrics really resonated.

In “Do What I Gotta Do” Ralph is in turmoil over ending his relationship with his lover. He doesn’t want to break her heart, but his heart and soul is breaking because, he needs to figure some things out and he needs to be alone. Sometimes the person you are in a relationship with doesn’t understand that. When he sings this note. “I’ve been feeling lately like being single or just alone, to get into myself.”

He feels like his woman, is playing games and he has to change the rules and look out for himself. When You are creative person, you need space to create. Unfortunately, the one you’re with can feel neglected, even though that’s not your intention.

img_1453Some of us are there right now. Feeling stuck. We need help letting go. We need to figure out who am I? Rediscover our passions. Figure out what do I want and need out of life. Instead of this whole ‘We or Us thing’.

We’re with someone and we don’t feel the same anymore. The chemistry is gone, we fell out of love or we’ve outgrown the relationship and we are in a war between our heart and our mind. We know deep down in our soul, that we gotta do what we gotta do. You try to find the right words because although it’s hard, you don’t want to continue living a lie.

It kills you deep inside that it has to come this. Because although you love the person you’ve known. You know the best thing is for you two to be apart. Breakups are not easy this is why some people ghost. They don’t have the courage to tell you it’s over in your face or give you closure. What I love about this song is that towards the end.

Ralph is letting her know that even though he loves her, that the best things is for them to be apart and continue to be friends. Why continue to be in a relationship you’re not happy in. Which will lead to nothing but a spiritual death and regret. He still wants to be her friend and be there for her.

He just can’t continue breaking his own heart and being unhappy anymore for the sake of someone else. No matter how much he loves her. I know to many people who stay in relationships way past their expiration date. Knowing they should have left a long time ago.. we’ve all been there.

Trying to work things out because of the time we put in and because we truly care. But it gets to a point that if you don’t end things you are going to go mad. In my last relationship, one day my ex came home. As soon as he walked through the door. I got up went to the bathroom and closed the door. I had this song playing in my ear. I just sat on the bathroom floor and wept.

I was so unhappy. He knew I was unhappy but didn’t care as long as he had a roof over his head and what he wanted. My bed was cold. There was no love or affection. Just him needing me all the time. I fell out of love and I just wanted to be alone. I never wanted to live with him. It was hard telling him to move out of my place. But I had to or else it would have continued and it would have been my fault.

He would have continued living off of me. We have to take responsibility for what we allow to continue in a relationship. Set limits because takers don’t. When I cried, I was mourning the lost of myself. My dreams and my passions. I needed him to be there for me, the same way I was there for him. He wanted me to put my life on hold to support his dreams, which he said in so many way without saying it. That was not happening.

I never had his support and I got tired of the games or feeling like there was a love triangle going on. I realized he never really knew me. My needing to grow and wanting space was a threat to him. Space and discovering myself meant, I wanted better or that I would find someone else who could love me better, which was not my focus and the last thing on my mind.

I wanted a relationship with myself again. I wanted to love myself again. So I prayed and ended it. He didn’t want to be the man I needed. He didn’t want to add to my life just take from it. He only wanted the lifestyle I provided and my money. It wasn’t all bad… the relationship in the beginning, but I was TIRED. I wasn’t the same. My needs and wants since I was approaching my 30s were different from my 20s.

He never expected me to grow and change. He thought I would always be around and took my love, the things I did and how I held him down for granted. I wasn’t being supported in any way. Me wanting help with basic simple things was meant with resistance and arguing. There was no peace in my home. I tried to remember the friendship we shared, that’s the only reason why I let him stay, so he could get himself together.

But he didn’t want to get himself together. I found out his scheme to live with me and have me take care of him was planned. When I ended it, I felt revived. I felt like I found myself again. I was born again. I started smiling, laughing, being happy again. Listening to music, especially love songs again with out anyone turning it off., music was one thing we should have not been arguing about.

I started dancing and writing again. I dropped weight both mentally and physically. I started doing things I used to do before we met and before my mom passed. For so long it was about other people from when I was 14. In a relationship its hard to hear your own voice. It’s even harder to hear Gods voice too. With constant noise and be ‘ON’ all the time, with the wants and needs of another.

Sometimes you can’t be there for everybody. You can’t save everyone. You can’t make everyone happy at your own expense. Being single can be a great thing. It strengthens you. Relationships can be great when there is genuine love and a common ground and two people are supporting each other. It shouldn’t feel like a job you hate because eventually you’ll quit.

It can’t be one-sided and its unfortunate that that’s what some people want. They want to use you for the own selfish gain. I know there were lessons I needed to learn and I learned them. I know that I will never go through that again. Every time I feel like a man is trying to trap me, on purpose or move to quick. I just do what I gotta do and let them go, because life is meant to be lived and I will not exist in someones shadow.

SongVersations: “Can You Stand The Rain?” By New Edition

I was listening to “Can You Stand The Rain” By the Iconic and Legendary R&B Group New Edition. From the moment the birds starts singing and the beats drops and Johnny Gill hits that riff, that’s gets deep into your soul.

You know, just by hearing the melody that you are about to be taken on a sweet melodic ride. This is one of those songs that can you play on repeat for hours.

There are so many different waves of emotions in this song. You’ll enjoy the music and melody but you will understand and feel the lyrics. Have you ever paid attention to the lyrics to this song? Like really paid attention?

What you hear is men expressing themselves. Being vulnerable. Saying I need you. I can’t do this alone. Yes I’m strong but I need the love of my woman. These kind of sentiments is missing from todays music and the hearts of men in society.

Luckily we still have artist like New Edition that still keep the magic and the love and romance alive. You don’t stick around for 30+ years for nothing. You gotta be doing something right. Thats because real men know how to get the hearts of women, with love and romance.

This song let’s you know that REAL MEN do feel. Real men do have emotions. This song poses a simple question… Can You Stand The Rain? Men want to know that when times get hard, will you be there by their side. Will you lift them up and take care of them the same way they take care of you.

Will you love them unconditionally no matter how much money or things they have. A man will be with a woman no matter how much money she makes or what she has, (some) women not so much so. Some women have a set figure on what a man should have in order to take care of her, which is sad and selfish.

A real man sees himself as a provider and protector of his woman and family and when a man can’t do that, his heart and pride is bruised. For a real man knows his role in a woman’s life and what God has called him forth to be. Whether you are an artist or just a regular blue collard hard-working man.

Every man wants to know that they have, the security of their significant other by their side. After dealing with the stresses of the world outside of their home. They need to come to a loving woman, who will make their house a home. They need a woman’s love to inspire them through difficulties. From an artist perspective, they are on the road performing and touring.

They won’t be able to see or talk to their significant other or even be with their family and they want to know, will you be there by their side when money fluctuates. Will you live with me in a studio apartment and not just a mansion. Can you weather the storm? Can you hold things down if I need you too.

“Love unconditional, I’m not asking just of you, we have to make it last, I’ll do whatever needs to be done” “When it’s tough she won’t run, she will always, be right there for me.” I’ll do my part but will you do your part? Will you trust me and us and what we have? Tell me, will you be there for me? 

It doesn’t matter whether these men sing or are in a group and ‘famous’. They are still human and men first. They still go through the same trials and tribulations that other men go through. Being in an iconic group, doesn’t mean that life does not happen to you.

Everyone wants to be around you, when things are good. When you are on top. When you have money. But what about when things fall apart. Thats when you really see who has your back. Every man wants unconditional love from his woman. They want her to stay when times get hard, not just be there for sunny days.

I hear from men all the time, how they don’t have the support and love from their woman or don’t feel appreciated unless its pay-day. Or they thought they had a supportive woman until they lost their job and they found out they were weathering a storm all by themselves.

These are good men who are doing everything, to make their lady happy, but when they fall on hard times, who’s going to be their rock. Who’s going to lift their spirit up and not make them feel less of a man and inadequate. A real man is not going to feel good about living off his woman.

This song is not just for men singing to the hearts of women. I find myself relating to these lyrics because I ask the same question when it comes to men. Can you stand the rain? Will you be there for me if I need you?

In my last relationship when the ship was sinking, when the storm got heavy and it started pouring rain. I found out the hard way I was alone. I had to rescue myself and make sure I didn’t drown although I saved him when his boat was sinking. He had me in ways that I never had him.

Until one day I punctured a hole in his boat and found out he could swim and take care of himself. Men have given to much in their previous relationships and now when they come across a good woman. They want to know whats she’s going to do for him first and they want a woman to give of herself first. I keep meeting these ass@*%$, lol..

Times and men are changing. Men are looking for women to have their own and be independent so they can just come in a have a free ride. Men want women to weather the storm. They’ll go M.I.A. on a woman if she needs him. When times get hard, they want her to pick up the sword and fight for them while they relax.

Why do men want woman to carry the relationship now a days? They want to see how strong a woman is built. They want her to step into masculine energy. If she can do it on her own, why does she need you? That’s not a real man.

A real man knows a woman can do it on her own, but a real man will not let her. Can you Stand the rain? I’m sure she can, but will you hold the umbrella for her and protect her?

Whatever happen to being each others rock. Isn’t that the whole purpose of being in someone’s life. Isn’t that the purpose of loving someone unconditionally? What’s up with these one-sided relationships and self-entitlement? Thats not love. Thats self-centered narcissism.

Love is freedom. Love is all-knowing and seeing. It should happen organically. Love is protective and being there for each other in good times and bad times. We shouldn’t let each other drown. When you say you love someone….show it.

“Storms will come, this we know for sure…I know all the days won’t be perfect” but there is no pressure.” The next time you decide to open your heart to love, ask for what you need and want. Ask, can you stand the rain? If the answer is yes and you see it in their actions, then you will know you got a good one. Then you can say, “Come on baby, let’s go get wet.”

How Many Ways I Love You

img_0758I was listening to “How Many Ways I love You” by the iconic Toni Braxton. Before I continue, don’t you just love some Toni Braxton. Toni’s voice is just so sensual, her music is timeless. She is just my favorite female vocalist of all time.

Every time I hear the intro to that song ” how many ways, I love you, let me count the ways, you just don’t know. ” It reminds me of home. It also reminds me of my first love and how we just enjoyed loving each other. When this song came out, I had someone in my life I felt this way about.

I used to be at home, wondering how many ways can I love this man. It wasn’t just my words it was my actions. Some people forget the action part of love. Off topic but “seven whole days” came on by Toni…and I’m like “seven whole days, try not seeing somebody in almost 7 months” lol but they claim they love you. I had to laugh at that one, lol.

Anyway…I will always be grateful for the love we shared and just grateful that my first time around with love, was a good one. My first love really set the bar, for how a man is supposed to treat a woman. He told me I set the bar too and that he knew what to look for in a woman, because of the way I loved him and he thanked me too for loving him the way I did.

What a lovely compliment!

We just wanted to love each other, bring out the best in one another. Isn’t that what love about? Bringing out the best in one another. We just wanted to make each other happy. We were both cancers and our love was just infectious to others.

Making each other smile was our hearts greatest joy. He was so thoughtful, so kind. Such a gentleman. So protective. Always putting me first. Treating me like a lady. He never raised his voice at me. The five years I knew him, we NEVER had an argument. He NEVER disrespected me.

We were best friends. So when men say it’s impossible to be friends with a woman, they are dead wrong because it is possible. That’s the best kind of love that blossoms into something more.

We just couldn’t wait to see each other to see what surprise we both had up our sleeves. My face use to hurt so much from smiling all the time and laughing. People used to say we looked alike, that’s because we brought out the best in one another.

We just had fun together. There was no rushing to make major life decisions not even to be intimate. We just wanted to count the ways of how much we could love each other. I think if my first love knew the BS, I encountered with men, he would be upset.

When we both moved on and dated other people, he wanted to know if I was being treated right. He was still protective of me as a friend and so was I of  him. There’s was no jealousy, no animosity …nothing….just pure authentic love for one another.

I think it’s sad when people want to be in a relationship for all the wrong reasons and it’s not for love. It’s not for seeing and making the other person happy and growing together and building something. Loving someone should be a privilege and not abused.

Some people just don’t know how to love. They love things or want things and they think, that by being in a relationship, this is the only way to get it. And they wonder why they are miserable. I never understood the logic of trying to use someone for personal gain.

I don’t know what the hell I’ve been running into lately with men, that I’m not even dating lol. I’m always blindsided when a man wants more from me. Especially after a couple of hours or days, lol… I thought after my first love, that all men were like him. I see I was clearly wrong.

Maybe for a couple of days or weeks they are nice. But when they don’t get what they want, I see a side of them I didn’t know exist. A family friend said to me, “what’s up with these men you meet, why are they so controlling?” He apologized for men being assholes.

You know what the funny thing is, whenever I tell a guy what other men have done and things they said. They turn around and do the same thing 😐 but claim they are different. Case in point I was asked. ” Why are you single?” I said because I’m tired of married men trying to sleep with me, and the guy who asked me this was married and wanted to sleep with me, but got mad when I rejected him and he claimed he was different. Dumb ass!!

Then he acted like he was doing me a favor and he was the prize by talking to me. Right 😐! This coming from a guy with 3 women with his kids. Unbelievable!! All I wanted was his poetry cd, and he wanted to locked me down and make me a stepmother, to kids I didn’t know he had, Lol. You think I didn’t 🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️🏃🏽‍♀️lol.

It’s also funny how a guy will laugh at something I told him, until he turns around and does the same thing. Now he’s just another character in my story. I think all the crazy shit I’ve been through, maybe this is the universes way of saying, you need more writing content for a crazy story.

We all love to laugh and maybe someone can find humor in my crazy experiences. I know I have 😂. People crack up with the stuff I say, I think it’s darn right crazy, because I’m not doing anything. I’ve been told “don’t tell a guy you love to cook or like to be home” because they’ll go ring shopping right away.

I wonder what’s all the thirstyness for? What’s the rush? If I mention I want a child one day, I never said I wanted it from you. Just because two people want the same thing, doesn’t mean they want it from each other. I don’t even know you like that to know if I want to have YOUR baby, so calm down.

All in all, I just miss being in love. When love is organic not forced. When a person makes it easy for you to love them, when they don’t expect anything. When your happiness is their happiness. When there is consistency, effort and being a person of your word. When two people tell each other how they feel. When there is no doubts.

It doesn’t take much to please a woman like me. Men know I’m simple, they sense it and by being simple and low maintenance, it makes them not want to do anything for me. Because I don’t ask. I shouldn’t have to, the same way you don’t ask me. I just give.

I want a man and a love in my life, that ponders the thought, “how many ways can I love this woman, let me count the ways.” Wait for a love that makes you feel like this! A love that makes you get excited about loving someone.